Author's Note: This is a nonconsent/reluctance story about incest/taboo themes featuring a transman as the main character.
*
Lyle pulled back on the reins of his roan mare. He could hear the gravel on the driveway crunching. Then, from his position at the head of the trail at the treeline, he saw a black SUV slowly making its way down the drive with a puff of dust following in its wake. Lyle smiled. Laurel was here. He gently kicked the sides of the mare to get her walking again and steered her toward the horse barn at the front of the property. It was the first time since Laurel's wedding that he had seen his sister. Two and a half years. Now, she was finally coming home for Thanksgiving with her new husband, Daniel, and his brother, Raphael. Daniel was a solid guy who Laurel had met in college, but Lyle had only met Raphael during the wedding events.
Hopping off the mare, Lyle led her to her stall where he took off her reins and saddle. He found her brush and began brushing down the whitish red coat of his horse. Lyle had decided to let his parents say hello first before he went to greet his sister. As he brushed, he hummed an old song and thought about how much things had changed and yet stayed the same.
After Laurel had left for college and moved out, Lyle had moved back. He had gotten a job near the family home and wanted to help out on the farm again. It was tough, having gone through his transition, to come home again. Still, his parents had adjusted and now he was known as their oldest son. The large sixteen acre farm used to feel like a curse for Lyle when he was growing up, but now he had grown to love the animals and the land. Checking to make sure the mare had enough water, feed, and hay, Lyle reluctantly left the stable.
He loved Laurel. He even liked Daniel. Raphael, however, was another matter. From the moment they had met, Raphael had seemed to pay too much attention to Lyle and he couldn't figure out why. The man was cordial and polite. Charming, even. For some reason, though, Raphael had stuck to Lyle's side when they had to go to the rehearsal dinner and the wedding reception. Lyle didn't know what to make of it. Now he wondered what it would be like trying to survive a week of Raphael staying in the carriage house with Lyle. Shaking his head, Lyle decided not to worry about what he couldn't control and headed over to the main barn to settle his nerves before he met up with everyone for dinner.
**
As the autumn breeze tousled his curly auburn hair, Lyle switched the position of the joint in his hand so that the rapidly burning cherry wouldn't sting his fingers. He took a puff of the acrid green smoke and puffed it out into the afternoon sky. Though he was listening to music via earbuds he still felt the creak of the old floorboard as someone's weight was pulled up into the loft.
Lyle had been sitting with his back to the hay loft with his legs dangling out of the large open hay door. He quickly snubbed the joint and tucked the roach into his pocket before turning around and finding Raphael walking toward him. Lyle muttered a curse and stood up to greet him, pulling the earphones out and pausing his music, he prepared for a verbal spar. Ever since Raphael had arrived two days ago, he had been pushing Lyle's buttons subtly and trying to get a rise out of him.
Since Laurel and Daniel were married, they got to stay in Laurel's old room. Raphael, however, had been pushed to the mother-in-law's cottage with Lyle since Lyle's old room had been converted to his parent's cramped home gym. He expected the same behavior as when Laurel got married. Whenever Lyle was in a common room, Raphael would also be there: staring. Even when Lyle would wake up in the middle of the night, Raphael would be lingering about. He would invade Lyle's personal space and do silly things like what Lyle and Laurel did as kids to annoy each other. He would blow air into Lyle's ear, poke his side, or tousle his hair. Lyle, however, was determined to ignore it.
"What were you listening to?" Raphael asked casually as he approached Lyle who shifted from foot to foot nervously.
"Lorna Shore. What are you doing here?" Lyle hoped that his voice seemed as casual as Raphael's but couldn't keep the tremor out of his voice.
"Amazing band. What else were you doing?" Raphael didn't need to ask. He'd caught Lyle red-handed.
"Nothing." Lyle lied. He regretted it as soon as he said it. Raphael didn't stop moving toward him until he was standing directly in front of Lyle.
"Nothing?" Raphael asked coyly, quickly darting out his hand to dig into Lyle's front pocket and pull out the roach. "This doesn't look-or smell-like nothing."
"Shit, okay, you got me. Listen, we're both adults. I get that I shouldn't be out here smoking, but it's not the end of the world." Lyle meekly replied, taking a step back from Raphael toward the open hay door.
"Let me guess, now comes the part where you try to convince me not to tell your parents?" Raphael chuckled. "It's like you're sixteen not twenty six."
"Twenty-seven." Lyle replied hotly. "I shouldn't have to convince you. It's none of their business, and it's none of yours."
"Is that so?" Raphael reached out and stroked Lyle's pallid freckled cheek. Confusion clouded Lyle's mind and he took a moment to push away Raphael's hand.
"Yes. Now please let me go back to enjoying my music." Lyle said sourly.
"I don't know. I think your parents may want to know that you're out here smoking weed in their barn." Raphael tsked and moved closer to Lyle.
"Come on, Raph. This doesn't have anything to do with them." Lyle pleaded.
"You'll have to convince me." Raphael grinned at the shorter man. Lyle was about five foot and nine inches tall whereas Raphael was a good four to five inches taller. Hazel eyes flashing gold with anger, Lyle folded his arms across his chest and inspected the older man. Raphael had deeply tanned skin with near-black hair and a beard that was graying in some spots. He was an attractive man with his high cheekbones and strong browline.
"Alright, what do you want?" Lyle sighed, exasperated. He just wanted to find a new place where he could be alone for a while.
"Oh, I don't know. What's a secret we could share that's just a sensational as you being a pot head?" Raphael teased as he grinned at Lyle. He was laying a trap and Lyle knew it.
"Do you want some?" Lyle asked, confused. "I don't get where you're going with this." He lied.
"Kiss me." Raphael said. "If you give me a kiss, we can pretend like none of this ever happened."
"Seriously?" Lyle asked and recoiled at the thought. They were practically family, after all.
"What? Can't do it?" Raphael teased. "Guess you are still a kid."
"I can do it!" Lyle spoke without thinking and then bit the inside of his cheek in contemplation. "Fine, whatever."
Lyle leaned forward and lifted his face to meet Raphael's before closing his eyes and giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek. Not satisfied, Raphael cupped Lyle's chin in his hand and turned his face so that their lips brushed against one another. Lyle froze and felt confused. Was Raphael teasing him or was there something else to this kiss? Before he could finish the thought, Raphael's mouth closed over Lyle's in a searing kiss. Still holding him in place, Raphael's other arm snaked around Lyle's waist and pulled him against Raphael's hard body. Lyle was soft against him, having more pudge than he despite still being physically fit. Without warning, Raphael let him go and Lyle swayed slightly.
"There. Now we have our own secret." Raphael said then flicked the roach out the window into the wild shrubbery below.
"That's littering." Lyle muttered, his hand now over his mouth. Raphael laughed in response.
"Is that all you can say? If you're not thinking about me yet, I'll have to kiss you again." Pulling him back into his arms, Raphael's lips pressed against Lyle's in a gentle yet deepening kiss. Lyle pressed his hands against Raphael's chest, attempting to push him away halfheartedly.
"Raph!" Lyle exclaimed, finally managing to push the taller man away. "What are you doing?"
"I thought it was obvious. I was kissing you." Raphael chuckled as Lyle sputtered for something to say, his brow furrowing.
"I wasn't asking literally what you were doing, I wanted to know why you're doing it!" Lyle said, frustrated as he took a step back before noticing he was cornered. His back was to the wall and the hay door was to his right, Raphael to his left.
"I was kissing you because I wanted to. Do I need more reason?" Raphael reached out and then paused when Lyle didn't move toward him. "I'd like it if you kissed me back."
"You're Daniel's brother. I don't know you and we're practically family." Lyle reasoned while holding himself out of reach of Raphael.
"Daniel is just your brother-in-law. We're barely family by marriage." Raphael shot back, reaching toward Lyle again, this time succeeding in grabbing his wrist and pulling him toward Raphael. "None of that should matter. Don't you find me attractive?"
"That's got nothing to do with it." Lyle said uneasily, trying uselessly to free his arm from Raphael's grasp. "Why are you being so forceful? I'm not interested."
"That's a lie. I see how I get under your skin." Raphael's other hand found its way to Lyle's hip and slid beneath his shirt to grip his hip.
Lyle scoffed. "You've been acting like an eight year old. It's irritating, not endearing."
"Aren't you the sassy one?" Raphael bowed his head and pressed his lips to Lyle's ear where he whispered. "If you didn't react so strongly, I wouldn't be tempted."
In trying to pull away, Lyle found himself once again bound in Raphael's arms. Lyle swallowed nervously. "Raph, this isn't a game."
"Isn't it?" Raphael's chuckle was dark and Lyle felt his stomach drop even as his body reacted. Lyle quivered as Raphael began to kiss down his neck, large hands moving beneath Lyle's shirt.
Lyle pushed against Raphael, but Raphael pushed him against the wall of the barn and pressed his thigh between Lyle's legs. Panic shot through the younger man. He didn't know if Raphael had clocked him as trans yet. He'd certainly realized Lyle is attracted to men, but there were more secrets to be revealed. Lyle was packing today with a soft packer, but he knew Raphael could feel the difference.
Raphael seemed undeterred as he once again found Lyle's lips and kissed him deeply, taking his breath away. Lyle pushed at Raphael's arms ineffectively as Raphael unbuttoned the soft tan flannel he wore. Raphael's hands splayed over Lyle's flat chest causing Lyle to gasp into the kiss. Raphael's hands felt hot through the thin material of Lyle's white undershirt. Taking advantage of Lyle's open mouth, Raphael pushed his tongue past Lyle's lips.
Lyle gripped the rough denim of Raphael's jacket. Despite knowing this was a bad idea, Lyle found himself yielding to Raphael's hot domineering touch. One hand pushing up his undershirt, Raphael's other hand slid down to Lyle's pants to undo the button and zipper. Lyle tore his mouth away from the burning kiss.
"Raph," Lyle was breathless. "Wait."
