So, check this, right? My girl Shauna was up in the ATL visitin' her folks, which meant no P for me. Not till she gets back, anyway. I was horny as a mug though. I was ridin' around, peepin' the honeys as I talked to my boy Malik.
"So when she gettin' back?" Malik asked me.
"S'pose to be today, but the girl done said she was stayin' till Friday," I answered.
"God-damn, yo. What she expect you to do, jack your dick till she get back?"
"No, she expect me to not do nothin' till she get back, that way she can get it all from me," I said with a laugh, and not because it was funny, but because it was true.
"I know that's your girl and everything, yo, but she crazy? What's it been, two weeks?"
"'Bout that. Damn thing is, she prolly want to see how much come outta me so she can accuse me of fuckin' someone."
"True. True. Check this, though," Malik said. "Just jack your dick now, and by Friday you'll be back to where you are now."
"Nah. If it ain't no mouth or no pussy, I don't wanna waste a nut on it," I told him. "I'll prolly just head home andβ"
And then it hit me: Stanley would be at home. Stanley was some white dude my Moms met at an antique show. She said they fell in love immediately, and two weeks later they was married. I didn't hate the man. I mean, it wasn't like he was tryin' to be my Pops or nothin' like that. It's just that when Moms left for work, Stanley would get lickered up on a half-pint of Jack and sleep till damn near it was time for her to get home. He'd cook dinner for us, and yeah, I'd hear them knockin' dem boots every now and then, but fo' reals? I couldn't say anything bad about the man. He got a check for his gimpy foot, so he helped pay the bills. He was just ... Stanley. And he was home. And he was prolly asleep. Andβ