"Goodnight, dad!"
"Goodnight, son."
"Goodnight, mom!"
"Goodnight, Timmy. Don't forget to fall fast asleep or Santa might skip us this year!"
"I know, mom! Jeez. I'm 23; you don't have to remind me every year!" "Goodnight, Aunt Sarah!"
"Goodnight, little guy."
I took a quick look back over my shoulder to make sure everything was set before going to bed. There were four fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies on a platter with a glass of milk for Santa and nine raw carrots for the reindeer. Some people forget about the reindeer, and most of those that do remember only leave out a single carrot for Rudolph to eat, but, like mom always says, "there's no I in team."
I headed upstairs to my room. It was weird... being back in my room. After college, I needed to find a job, and my mom helped me to find one where she worked, but it didn't pay well enough for me to afford my own place any more. I was stuck at home again until I could find something better. But fortunately, this meant I had one more chance to meet the great toy-maker.
It had been a dream of mine for as long as I could remember to meet Santa... the real Santa. But every year, I'd fall asleep. I simply could not will myself to stay up all night, especially in the dark, quiet house. But this year, I was older. I was college-educated. And I had a plan.
I closed the door and lied in bed. I didn't want to be too comfortable and fall asleep so I kept my jeans and t-shirt on. As I laid there staring at the ceiling, I heard my mom, dad, and aunt make their way up the stairs. Aunt Sarah was staying in the guest bedroom next to mine and mom and dad had their bedroom at the end of the hall.
The light switch clicked in the hallway and my room went completely dark. I quietly rolled out of bed and onto the floor and grabbed my PSP. I had already muted it and dimmed the screen earlier that day so that nobody would hear or see anything. I wasn't too fond of my PSP because there were so few worthwhile games for it, but it seemed like the best way to keep myself up through the night.
The screen flashed and the game started. I don't remember what game it was. To be honest, I don't remember much of anything after that because I had fallen asleep.
I woke up startled and began to curse myself for falling asleep yet again. As my eyes adjusted to the dim light, I realized it was still dark out. "Maybe it's not too late after-all," I thought to myself. The light danced under the door and I heard muffled noises coming through the floor. "Santa?" I wondered.
I rolled onto my belly and lifted myself up onto my feet. I crept over to the door and carefully turned the knob and opened it. I could tell that the flickering light was from a candle in the living room so I slowly moved to the top of the stairs and looked down. Shadows were moving along the walls. Step by step, I descended the staircase until I could see into the living room.
My eyes grew wide as I saw the legend himself, sitting there in dad's recliner. And, to my surprise, my mom was there with him on his lap talking softly into his ear. And then, from the corner of my eye, I noticed more movement on the couch and could just barely make out the silhouette of my aunt. I sat there, staring, with all the joy in the world filling my lungs near the point of explosion, as I prepared myself to finally meet my idol.
"Uh oh, looks like we have an interloper."
"Timmy!" mom screamed.
My heart dropped like a rock as I nearly wet my pants right there on the stairs.
"I thought I told you to go to bed, young man!"
"I-I did, mom. I'm sorry," I choked out the words as my mother looked at me, her face flushed and her body tense with anger. I completely forgot about how badly I wanted to meet Santa as I turned to head back to my room.
"Not so fast, Timmy!" she called out, "Get your horny little ass down here and give your mother a hand."
I wasn't really sure what she meant, the words didn't register at first, but I complied with the command and descended the stairs. I stared at the floor, embarrassed, as I stood next to mom. Closer up in the dim light, I could see that she wasn't sitting in Santa's lap the way the boys and girls do at the mall, she was actually straddling the jolly old man. I also noticed that she had changed her outfit from earlier tonight -- she was wearing a short, red skirt with puffy white trim. It reminded me of Santa's hat. Her top was similarly designed, with short sleeves and a very low neck line. Her midriff was completely bare, revealing the pouch that she developed over the years, and she had dark leather boots with very long heels running all the way up to her knees. Her blonde hair was slightly messy and hanged to her shoulders. I also noticed, for the first time ever, that mom's chest stood out as proudly as the finest pair of double-D's I could ever imagine. In fact, they were probably even bigger, but I wasn't sure what was bigger than a double-D cup at the moment because my mind simply wandered as I lost myself in her mile of cleavage.