It was after mid-night when I finally got Beth down to sleep. At one year old she had a stomach problem as well as cutting teeth so every day was an adventure for me; an eighteen year old mother. Some times I just want to set down and cry but then again I think how lucky I am to have such a beautiful baby. I think about telling all the other teen age girls to be careful and wait until they are married to have sex, but who would listen? I sure didn't and I had plenty people telling me to be carful.
I'm only eighteen now and can barely remember the first time Clint and I had sex. We were boyfriend and girlfriend from the first grade on. When our hormones started acting up it wasn't long before we started experimenting. I remember I liked touching him and making him feel good and I liked the way his hands felt on me. We were so close that it just seemed natural to try what every body else was talking about. I remember it hurt something bad that first time and it was a while before we tried again.
When I finally got up enough nerve to let him do it again it didn't hurt that much and Clint really enjoyed it. For the first year I did it because he wanted too. I would have been just as satisfied to have him touching me and kissing me. But it got better over time and by the time I was sixteen it was down right fun. To tell just how stupid young people can be; in all the times we had been in bed together we had never used protection. Getting pregnant always happens to other people, not us.
We call ourselves being too smart for that to happen, but it did. I guess we got too involved and thought it couldn't happen. At seventeen I was pregnant, and with a month to go before school was out my senior year we married. Both of us managed to graduate with our class but I wasn't allowed to walk with the class to get my diploma. Being five months pregnant the Board Of Education didn't think I was a good example to the other students.
Being eighteen and married with a child on the way is not much fun. The idea that you can get all the sex you want after you marry is a joke when you are half way to giving birth. All I can remember is how sick I was and that Clint didn't want to be near me. Without being conceited, I was more than just pretty before I got pregnant. I am short, about 5' 2", with long dark hair and blue eyes. My breasts were a nice full b cup, now a c, and at 110 pounds I had a nice figure. Clint, before, like to see me naked all the time which I didn't mind as he was usually that way himself. Now he barely watched me when I bathed, making love to me was out of the question.
We didn't have any money. My mother was the only family I had and we were never that close, which was one of the reasons I had to spend so much time alone with Clint. His mother and father were only thirty-seven or eight, but both worked and he was left alone, which accounted for the amount of freedom we had to be together. We didn't even have to slip around; with our families the way they were we could just stay at home have our nice bed to make love in.
We married and moved in with Clint's folks. His father, Pete was nice enough to me. He didn't talk a lot but he never put me down. His mother, Alice, was a different story. She never liked me once she found out I was pregnant. I tried to keep house while they worked, but nothing I did was good enough for her. I heard her and Pete arguing about me one night. She wanted me out of the house, but he wouldn't do it. A couple of months later she was gone. A divorce followed and Pete was alone after twenty years of marriage.
Clint couldn't find a job and ended up joining the army. Two months after the baby was born he left for basic training. I can't say I missed him that much. When the baby was born he never got up to help during the night; it was always me and Pete. Many times I would hear her cry and go in to find Pete holding her in his arms. I came to depend on him more than I ever did Clint.
Clint finished his training and was stationed close to home for a few months. I had lost most of the weigh I gained while I was pregnant except for my breasts which were now larger than ever. Clint liked that part. He still didn't take any responsibility for Beth. When he was shipped over seas I can't say I hated to see him go. Tending to one baby at a time was enough for me.
For the most part Beth was a good baby. I nursed her and she never had a problem with her milk. At first I was self-conscious about nursing her when Pete was around, but living in the same house he had more than one opportunity to see me barely dressed. I would usually move to the bedroom to feed her if he was around. One day he stopped me as I was going to the bedroom. "Amy, do you mind if I watch as you feed Beth?" He must have seen a shocked expression on my face because he hurried to continue. "I use to watch when Alice would nurse Clint before she quit because she thought he might make her breasts sag. I just thought it was extra special to be able to see that."
It took a lot of nerve for me to turn around and sit back in the lounge chair and bring Beth to my breast. I did my best to keep my breasts covered but from time to time I know he saw them. He would set next to me and stroke Beth's head while she nursed. I thought that Clint should be here doing this instead of his father. Over time it became the normal thing for him to watch me nurse her. Any shyness I might have had to baring my breast before him was slowly evaporating. He had now seen both breasts exposed, but he never made any comment about them as if it was the most natural thing in the world for my husband's father to be seeing me like this.
Beth was about six months old before I left her with a baby sitter. I very seldom went anywhere except to buy food and do some minor shopping for the house. It was then Pete approached me. "How would you like to go out and eat this weekend? I know you have been holed up here since Beth was born. I need to get out myself. All I do is go to work and come home."
"Beth is too young to get out much."
"We get a baby sitter for her. We want be late, just a time to get away from it all." It didn't take much to convince me. I was ready that Saturday night when Mrs. Ingram across the street came over to keep Beth.
It had been a while since I had on a dress and since Beth the top was a little snug. Pete was good about giving me spend money and I knew that the next thing I purchased was going to be a nice dress.
It must not have looked that bad from the sparkle I saw in Pete's eyes when he saw me. "You are very beautiful tonight."
