I still remember like it happened yesterday. I was a senior in high school, happy my class was over, and getting ready to join my mates on the football field. As I exited the gate, I saw 3 guys surround a person in the middle, now and then pinching or slapping him. I approached them, and realized the one in the middle was my little brother, Sean. Two seconds later, I grabbed the ear of the closest attacker, and blurted, "Guys, is there a problem here?"
One of them pointed at Sean, "Sir, this wimp is a faggot!".
I moved forward, pulling with me a bruised ear, and caught with my other hand the neck of the one who talked to me. I held both of them tight, and spoke softly, "First of all, he is not. But even if he were, why is this your business? Did he do anything to any of you?"
The third student whispered, "He didn't, but he doesn't belong here. We wanted him to get out of our school and move somewhere else. We hate gays!"
"Sorry, guys, unfortunately for you, I do not share the same feelings about somebody who did not provoke you. More importantly, this is my brother, and I love him. But unlike you, 3 jerks, I am a very nice person, so I am willing to compromise. First, each one of you will apologize profusely for touching him without permission," I stared at the 3rd guy, "Starting with you, moron!"
He blushed, gazed at my brother, and muttered, "I am sorry. We shouldn't have done what we did."
My piercing eyes aimed at the ear's boy, "And now you, idiot!"
"Sean, we were wrong, sorry."
I turned to the student who called him faggot, "And now you, imbecile!"
I guess my fingers pinched him a little too hard because his voice was high pitched, "Sean, I promise to never do it again."
I laughed, "Buddy, your voice sounds like a soprano to me. Are you sure YOU are not the faggot here?!"
I must have squeezed him even harder, cause this time the sounds he made were more like a mezzo soprano, "No, sir, I swear. Please, sir, let me go..."
I glanced at Sean, who stood silent, watching me handling the 3 bullies. "Sean, let's go." As I was talking, I bumped the heads of both guys one against the other. "Guys, just like the 3 of you were sorry, I apologize too. It was unintentional. You'll likely have a nasty headache for a day or two, which will remind you NEVER to touch an innocent human being. And since all three of you are dummies, I'll remind you - If I ever hear any of you or your friends come within a hundred yards of my brother, better ensure your will is in order. Any of you have a question?!..." They remained quiet like fish.
I hugged my 2 year younger brother, "Sean, how many times people harass you like that when I am not around?"
"Often..."
"Because they perceive you as weak. Would you like to join a self defense class? Or start exercising in a health club nearby?"
He hugged my waist and whispered, "Bob, I hate all the muscle stuff. I like reading and watching movies. I'll never be as strong as you..."
I looked at him and couldn't agree more. He was barely 5'6", 140 pounds, and I doubted he'd grow much more. Unlike him, I was 6'3", 200 pounds of pure muscles.
...
My mother died a day after I was born. I was told it was due to a major complication during the delivery. Dad was devastated, and then found a nanny for me. He remarried a year later, and Sean was born after 10 months. He looked like her - dirty blond hair, cute face, and delicate body features. Unlike him, I inherited my father's genes. He was a sergeant in the army, and was tough with his recruits as well as with his kids.
As children, we were boisterous, and caused a lot of trouble. About 80% of the time it was my fault. When the nanny was around, she only reprimanded us. However, when Dad found out, we knew that severe punishment was on the way. As I said, I deserved most of the blame, but I assumed responsibility for Sean's shenanigans too. I knew I could take it better than him.
Some of my friends complained about their younger siblings, but this was never the case with me and Sean. He admired me. He knew I loved him and would protect him, and he tried his best to help me, too. He never barged unannounced into my room, and rarely asked for my help. On occasions, when Dad was around and my room was not organized like one would expect in the barracks, Sean made sure everything was in tip-top shape. When the nanny was sick and didn't show up, he did the laundry and even basic cooking.
By the end of my senior year, I knew I wanted to join the army. Dad was happy. He hugged me and said, "Son, I know you'll make me proud, unlike your brother, who is more likely to be a piano player or a ballerina..." I knew my father well and didn't bother answering. It was useless - In his mind, there were 2 kinds of men. The muscular athletes, or the wimpy others. so I let go.
Two months after joining, the September 11 horror show happened. I was sent to Afghanistan a year later. We were busy fighting and then keeping the order in major cities. Many of us were on edge because nobody knew when an enemy would show up and shoot at us. My service in Afghanistan lasted almost 2 years, and then my superior sent me to a new battleground - Iraq.
In the beginning, I was assigned to a noncombatant job, and had enough time to contact home. Dad continued his prior job of training the new soldiers, who eventually joined the others in Iraq or Afghanistan. I asked Dad about Sean, and he ignored my question. I asked again, and this time he answered in angry tone, "Talk to Sean yourself." He handed the phone to my brother.
"Sean, how are you? I missed you. Sorry I wasn't around for your 18th or 19th birthday. Are you in college now?"
His voice sounded as if he was using a falsetto, "Bob, I missed you so much! You won't believe what I did... I decided to stop pretending. I never felt that I was a man like you or Dad. Deep inside I knew I was destined to be a woman. In my case, nature made a mistake, giving me a body of a male. A puny male. When I turned 18 I got the courage to confront Dad and told him I wanted to become a woman. He almost had a fit. I resisted all his attempts to change my mind. I started taking certain tablets and got some shots. You hear it in my voice. I feel much more feminine already. I grew nice breasts, and the day after tomorrow is my final plastic surgery - I'll lose my penis and get a vagina instead..."
I was too shocked to respond. Sean asked, "Bob, are you still there?"
"Yes, I am. I didn't know..."
"Nobody knew. I hope next time we meet, you'll like the change."
From the corner of my eye, I saw my captain approaching, "Sean, I need to run. I'll call you again soon."
Before I hung up I heard him mumble, "Bob, I am no longer Sean. My new name is Shelley. Please call me Shelley from now on..."
I chortled, "I'll try to remember your new name."
...
The following month in Iraq was a tough one. I was in Fallujah, and our unit fought multiple insurgents on a daily basis. Four from my regiment died and countless got injured. The question wasn't IF we get hurt, but WHEN... The longer I was there the more depressed I became. Fighting another army is one thing, but not knowing the area and getting ambushed on a regular basis by insurgents who hid behind women and children was a whole different story. It was like fighting with one hand tied behind your back!...
I managed to phone my family 6 months after the first call. Dad was still the same old Dad - He kept his upbeat spirit and was sure America was on the right track in Iraq. He was still proud of his hero son, who was fighting the lowlife enemies.
I asked him about Sean. Dad's demeanor changed immediately, and he said, "Wait on the line."
Three minutes later, I heard a high pitched voice, "Bob, you DO remember we are your family..."
"Sorry, I was busy. We are constantly under attack over here, and in the few moments we are not interrupted, you guys are asleep, or our telephone is super busy... Sean, so how are you doing lately?"
"Bob, I stopped being Sean long ago. I am Shelley now. I went through my final operation, and there is no way back. I am a full fledged woman now..."
I smirked, "Will I recognize you when I come home?"
"You better! We love you here, and waiting to see you soon."
The alarm sounded, and I had to disconnect and get to a secure place. After 20 minutes we were allowed back to our relaxing area.
I sat with 3 comrades to play cards. It was never about big money but pride, bragging rights, and passing the time. At one point I needed to pee. I ran to the bathroom. As I was urinating, I heard a whistling sound and then a major explosion near me. The noise was deafening, and for a minute or so I couldn't hear anything. I checked myself in the broken mirror. I was covered with dust, but I saw no blood - Thank god. I rushed to my friends, but the place where we had our game was totally destroyed. I saw body parts, blood, and stained clothes all over. I lost it. I literally lost it! It was obvious nobody survived. Other soldiers and the medical team showed up and started gathering everything. A medic came toward me and asked me something. I had no idea what he wanted. He asked again in a language I didn't understand. I wanted to talk but couldn't. I just stared at him. He grabbed me by the hand and led me to the infirmary. I sat there for a long time before a doctor came to see me. He talked, and talked again. I tried to answer but nothing came of my mouth. I recall he said to somebody I was having a shell shock.
I spent many days in an area that was dedicated to soldiers like me. I began speaking several days later but it was not very coherent. I knew it, yet couldn't do anything about it. Worse than that, falling asleep was difficult, and every night, I woke up at least 3 times imagining being bombarded again.