Mom and I arrived at the hotel just after 9pm on the Tuesday night. It had been an all-day drive with just the two of us in the car, and we were both looking forward to getting our personal space back for the night. But it seems fate had different plans for us.
Mom has a small, independent business and she travels to a lot of markets and expos where she can sell the jewelry, arts and crafts she makes. Dad works as a plumber so he's only able to travel on weekends when he's not on call. I only work weekends at my retail job, so during the week I'm usually the one traveling with her, setting up the booth and processing sales while she does all the greeting, chatting and networking that goes with being self-employed.
We checked into the hotel. This particular event was announced very last minute, which meant that our accommodation was also booked on very short notice. So the only place we could afford was a two star hotel, where we'd be sharing the one room. Thankfully, the online booking indicated we could still have two beds. Did I like the idea of sharing a room with Mom? Of course not, but booking two rooms with less than 48 hours notice during spring break would've cost us more than Mom would earn on sales for the two nights we were in town.
"Okay, Mrs Childers, we've got y'all in room 1147. Here your credit card back...and here's your room key. Elevator's just behind you, on the left. Enjoy your stay!" The perky receptionist smiled.
Mom waited for me in the lobby while I grabbed our bags from the back of our station wagon, which was packed to bursting with Mom's stock, signage and tables.
We took the elevator up and I dumped our bags on the bed. While I was trying to figure out how to set the AC to anything above Freezing, Mom checked out the room.
"Hey, Dan? Notice anything wrong with the room?"
"Apart from being cold as hell?" I finally got the remote's angle right and the AC unit was responding to my inputs with a series of happy beeps. With my adversary slain, I turned around to check out the room. "Uh, I don't know. What?"
She pointed to the bed. "That."
I didn't get it at first. It was just a normal bed. And that was the problem: A bed. Single. One. "Oh. But, you definitely booked two beds, didn't you?"
Mom was already looking up the booking details on her phone. "Yes. Says so right here - one room, two adults, two beds. This is ridiculous. I'm calling the front desk."
She picked up the room phone on the bedside table and dialled 1 for reception. "Hi, this is Mary Childers, in room 11...47?... Yeah. Look, I think there's been a mistake with our booking? It's meant to be two beds, but there's only one here. Is it possible to get changed to another r-... oh. Fully booked. There's no rooms where they haven't checked in yet, that we can maybe swap...? Right." She sighed. "No. No, my son and I will work it out ourselves, I guess. Right, thanks. Bye."
She shook her head. "Useless." Mom is normally quite happy-go-lucky. I think the long drive, coupled with this bed mixup drained her of all her usual cheerfulness.
I had an idea. "Normally in places like this, they put two beds together to make one big one. There should be extra sheets in the closet, too." I untucked the sheets at the foot of the bed. No dice - it was a proper queen size mattress. "Well, damn." I looked around the room. "It's fine - I can just take the couch."
"No, I couldn't ask you to do that..." Mom half protested, mostly because that's what you're meant to do.
"You didn't ask. I volunteered." I shrugged and set about gathering the sheets and blanket from the top shelf of the closet. At least I was right about that.
It was after 9:30, so we decided to just call it a night at that point. I let Mom have the bathroom first, taking the chance to have a long shower without Dad "nagging about how much hot water" she was using (her words). She came out wearing her usual sleepwear - a satin nightie with thin shoulder straps and lace on the neckline. The hem ended just above her knees. It wasn't what I would call a "sexy" nightie; it was just what Mom always wore to bed, as long as I could remember.
After my shower, I came back into the room dressed for bed as well: cotton boxers and an old, faded t-shirt from a now-defunct indie band. Again, nothing sexy.
Mom was already in bed, reading one of those novels that seem to be written exclusively for women in their 50s. Once I was settled in my makeshift couch bed, we said our goodnights and I tried my best to get comfortable.
And I kept trying, and trying, for a good 15 minutes. The armrest was too tall for the pillow, but having it on the cushion felt wrong too. Rolling onto one side, relaxing for a few minutes, then finding something wrong with that position, rolling onto the other side, trying to flatten out the lumps in the pillow...nothing was working and the longer it went on, the angrier I got. I just wanted to sleep, damn it!
"Stop fidgeting." Mom was just as frustrated as I was. I didn't stop to think how much noise I was making with my restlessness, and Mom was only a few feet away in the same room.
"Sorry. I just can't get comfy. Something keeps sticking in my back, or-"
"For the love of... Just get in the bed, then."
I really, really didn't want to. I know most guys would be worried about getting boners during the night, but for me it's even worse. It only happens on rare occasions, but I've got this sleep disorder where I'll just start groping someone if I'm sharing a bed with them, but I'm still asleep. It's like a horny, problematic version of sleepwalking. One of my exes even broke up with me because I did it and wouldn't stop when she told me to. But I was fully asleep - I had no idea I even did it until she told me the next morning. I'm not just making shit up here - look up "sleep sex" on Wikipedia if you don't believe me.
So, no. I really, really did not want to sleep in the same bed with my Mom, no matter how uncomfortable I was on that couch. The risk was just too great. "No, I really don't think I should."
She sighed. "I've been sharing a bed with your father for 30 years. I know what happens to men's...bodies at night." My parents and I had never had The Talk. This was the closest Mom and I had ever gotten to talking about erections, and she still found a way around talking about it.
"I really think it's better if I stay here."
"Look, if it makes you feel better, we can put this pillow between us. We won't even be touching." She put one of the spare pillows under the sheets.
"It's not just that. I can't say why. And you wouldn't believe me anyway."
Mom was tired and couldn't hide how pissed off she was now. "It's late. Just get in the damn bed."
I sighed. "Fine." I climbed off the sofa and stumbled the 10 feet in the dark to the bed. I contemplated sleeping above the covers, but the room was still too cold from the AC blasting all day. So I reluctantly climbed into the bed with my mother.
We lay back to back, with the pillow between us. Under the covers, the long and tiring day caught up with me, and I finally fell asleep within minutes.
What happened next, I can only guess at after the fact. But I think that over the course of the next few hours, we must have tossed, turned and shifted enough so that eventually the pillow got moved further up the bed, toward our heads. And then we ended up spooning in some sort of Y shape. Our legs were together, our lower halves touched, but the top half of our bodies were apart, with the pillow between our heads. But, again, we were both sleeping, so I can't say for sure.
I can't pinpoint the exact moment I woke up, but it was a very gradual thing. I was laying in bed with some girl, but I couldn't remember who it was. She had these big, soft tits and I was squeezing one from behind. I could feel myself getting hard. I was squeezing her breast, drawing circles around her nipple, lightly pinching them.
I still wasn't awake. I was just focusing on the warm, soft breast in my hand, and the throbbing hardness in my boxers as it was pressing into her ass. She was pushing herself into my hard dick, grinding her ass against me.
I alternated between her two tits, squeezing and teasing each one. Still, she was grinding against my dick. This girl was as turned on as I was.
Wait. What girl? Actually, does it matter at this point? She's turned on, and so are you. Just enjoy the dream and keep touching those tits while you can.
So I did. But as I grabbed and squeezed those great tits and pinched those hard nipples gently, my sleep fogged mind kept trying to raise some sort of alarm. But why? She was breathing heavily now, and still grinding her ass against my incredibly hard dick. You're doing the sleep groping thing again. So what? She's into it, so it's not going to wind up like it did with Rachelle. Calm down.
But who is it? Think. This isn't your room. This isn't your bed. And why is there a pillow in your face?
Oh no.
Oh fuck.
It's Mom!
Fuck!
Dude, stop groping your fucking mother. Right now.