XI − Lauren Comes Home
PAUL
The message from Lauren was there when I checked my email Monday morning:
Dear All,
WONDERFUL NEWS!!! Over the weekend the company we've been auditing secretly reached a (mostly secret) settlement with the Ministry of Economy & Finance and the Ministry of Justice, probably to pay a token fine and sweep the whole ugly affair under the rug. A disappointing end for all the work that Annabella and I and others put in. On the other hand, I'M COMING HOME!
In 3 days
!! I'll forward the flight details to you separately.
I can't tell you how much I want to see you and be with you all again. I have lots of things to tell you. Also, some things that I learned about myself while I was here.
I love you all so much, and the only thing that will help me get through these next three days is all the stuff I have to do to close out the post-engagement paperwork.
I'll write again at least once before I head for the airport Thursday morning. I can't wait -- I love you all! Lauren
-
Lauren's coming home! There are no words to describe how I feel.
It was five weeks ago today that she left. These weeks have been amazing. Matt and Jane -- and, especially, Georgia -- well, you know what that's been like. But all the time, in the back of my mind, has been the awareness that Lauren was not here to share them.
There is also some adjusting to be done. For the past five weeks, Georgia and I have been a couple. We've been companions, we've held each other at night, we've awakened together each morning, we've enjoyed sex that has been sweet and loving, or wild and nasty -- and sometimes, all of these at once. And as much as I am in love with my daughter and can't wait for us to be back together, still ...
And I think that Georgia will be experiencing something similar. For the first time in the last seven years, she's had a regular man, in her bed, and in her life. Moreover, it's a man that she's had eyes on for a very long time, and who I think she loves in some way. And now she has to return him to his 'owner.' I know she will, and she'll do so generously and graciously, because she loves her granddaughter and respects her relationship with her father. But, still ...
That night with Georgia, we started out with a kind of cloud hanging over our heads -- the awareness that we were beginning our last three nights together as a couple. To me, this was the very definition of ambivalence -- wanting more than anything for Lauren to return to me, while dreading having to leave Georgia -- even though we never "had" each other in the first place.
And yet, it was the marvelous Georgia who made it better. It was she who raised the issue.
"I can't imagine how excited you are to have Lauren coming home."
"What can I say? For seven years she's been my love and my lover and my amazing sex partner and -- for want of a more accurate word -- my wife. We've been everything to each other, and now she's coming back.
"What I really can't find words for is you. One part of my mind was prepared to be depressed for eight solid weeks. Instead, my life with you has been, in a word, wonderful. And I don't have to recount all the ways it was, because you already know them, because you've shared them with me." I hesitated to say the next words. "But what about you ...?"
Georgia responded exactly as I knew she would. "I'm a big girl, James, and I knew that you and Lauren are together, in every way imaginable, and that I was recruited to be a 'worthy caretaker' in her absence. I was deeply touched that she would do this for you, and that she had such trust in me. I knew what I was doing, and I yield my role back to Lauren, and I'm thankful for the experience she's made possible for me. These past weeks here with you and Matt and Jane, I've enjoyed more than any time since Arthur died. I just hope that I'll be welcome to share them with you again some time."
"I can speak for everyone: We want you anytime you want us."
"But now, James, Lauren's in Rome and we're here. Fuck me, Tiger."
********
After that, our sense of sadness and dread was gone, and we simply took advantage of the opportunity to be with each other. We knew that we would still have many opportunities, for sex, as well as for other things. But since Wednesday night would be our third and last night "together," we excused ourselves and departed for the bedroom early. As I was about to enter, Jane stopped me and gave me and kissed my cheek and said, "Take lots of time." Matt, behind her, nodded in confirmation. They understood, of course.
We ended with Georgia on top of me, in lots of positions, trying to feel me in as many ways as she possibly could. After she came for the last time, she lay down on my chest and we rested. Then I felt the wetness on my chest, and I knew immediately that they were tears. I don't think she saw mine, but I'm sure she felt the dampness where I had wiped them on the pillow case.
She looked up at me with moist eyes and said, "We've wanted this for a long time, haven't we, James?"
Through moist eyes, I replied, "We waited a long time for this, didn't we, Georgia?"
********
Thursday was a new day.
Georgia moved her stuff out of the bedroom sometime when I would not have to be there to witness it. I set about restoring things to the way they were when Lauren was here. I was slowly transitioning, from the sadness of parting from Georgia to the excitement of being with Lauren again.
We shopped to make sure that we would have everything we might want over the next four days so that no one would need to leave, and we could spend all of the time together. I phoned in to the office to remind them that I wouldn't be in today or tomorrow, and that I might take a personal day Monday. Then I went onto to our company system to do about a half day's work and thereby assuage my conscience regarding any professional obligations.
But soon it was time to go to the airport to pick up Lauren. Lauren! Because there would be five of us plus her luggage, I arranged for a large limo to take us all to the airport and bring us back.
Using the information Lauren had emailed us, we checked on the status of her flight. It showed as being 25 minutes late, so that added to the tension we all were feeling. Then, of course, since it was an international flight and we couldn't meet her at the arrival gate, we simply had to cool our heels along with the scrum of hundreds of other friends and families who were waiting for their loved ones outside Customs with as much excitement as we were.
And then I saw her. The unmistakable mahogany-hued hair curling around the ear, the fashion sunglasses Georgia had lent her for the trip. She saw me, then us, and moved directly and steadily toward us, and I got a knot in the pit of my stomach -- first, for how amazingly beautiful my daughter is, then, for ... everything else. The others stayed back a step to allow us to meet each other first. And there were no words of greeting, no expressions of missing and of love. We just held each other. For a long time. Other people in the crowd seemed to sense something important was happening and parted around us, leaving us with our own space in the midst of the crowd. It felt so good.
Finally, Jane came up and tapped Lauren's shoulder. "Hey, what about us -- we're here, too?"
Lauren and Jane greeted each other the same way they have as long as I've known them -- hugs, squeals, kisses, more hugs. Silly, and yet beautiful to see once again. Then Georgia, acting like the proud grandmother of her beautiful, accomplished granddaughter.
Then Matt. Lauren walked over to where he was hanging back slightly and held him like she had held me. Then she whispered something in his ear. We never learned what she said. Matt didn't blush this time, but I'd swear that he gulped.
And we saw that she was wearing the pendant with the five interlocked hearts. "All the time -- I never took it off."
I made the call to our limo driver, who had been in the livery waiting pool, then made our way with Lauren's luggage to the pick-up area. The ride home was animated, as Lauren first had to tell about her adventures in even getting to the Rome airport, then through Italian border control, and then navigating the chaotic boarding process. She wanted to know how we had been, and she seemed genuinely concerned that we all did well while she was gone.
And in no time, we were home.
Because Lauren's flight from Rome, like most flights to the U.S. from Europe, was an afternoon arrival, we really didn't get home and unpacked until almost dinner time. Because for Lauren, it was late -- after 2 a.m. Rome time -- we had a light supper, and then everyone excused us so we could wash up and go to bed. Before we vanished, everyone had to give Lauren another hug and kiss and tell her how good it was to have her back with us again. It was a happy scene.
We got to the bedroom and closed the door, Lauren cautioned, "Dad, please don't hold me now, 'cause if you do, I'll never want you to let go. Let me unpack a few things I need now and take a shower. After that, I won't leave your arms all night. Promise."
And so I had to control my excitement and find something to do until Lauren finished what she needed to do. I was surprised to find that my head was throbbing a little and I felt a bit dizzy. I don't recall another time when I've been so excited waiting for something.