Self Portrait

"Holy shit, you're gay!" I was just walking out of the bathroom when I heard Jenny's stunned exclamation.

"What? No! What are you talking about?" I didn't even know what to think – that accusation came out of nowhere.

As I turned the corner into my room, I saw her sitting at my computer and staring at the monitor intently, disbelieving. On the screen, large as life, was a photo of a cock and balls, in reasonable detail if I do say so. No, it's not what it sounds like; it was a photo of MY cock and balls.

I bought a digital camera last week, and was messing around with it yesterday when I snapped the fateful photo. I'd visited a few adult personals sites, and was toying with the idea of posting some very personal pictures on one or more of them, to see if I could improve my fairly nonexistent lovelife.

I'm 23, and live with my sister Jenny, who's 19 now. We come from good-looking stock, and both were blessed with above average looks, though we're both fairly shy people, and thus don't get out very much. I've heard any number of my friends mention how hot Jenny is, but she's too picky, or they're too shy, because nothing ever comes of it. At 5'2", she's probably a 34-24-34 or so, with high firm breasts on the small side of a C-cup. Not that I stare or anything, but hey, a guy notices this stuff, even if it's his sister. I'm not sure what she weighs, honestly – I'm not a good judge of those things. She's skinny, but not so much that she doesn't have the curves that drive men crazy. Her hair is currently blonde, though she's been talking about going red again. Hey, whatever makes her happy – I stay out of those hair color decisions, since I never know what to say anyhow. I think she's pretty as she is, but if she wants to change her color or style, who am I to question it?

As for me, I'm a fairly fit guy, and I work out three times a week to maintain my shape. I'm just a hair over 6", and 185 lbs, with no flab on me. I have a pretty average sized cock, from what I understand, though perhaps a bit on the big side of average – it's around seven inches, and fairly thick around. I shave my pubes every month or so, to keep the hair from getting out of control, and I'd just shaved before taking that picture, and the other two. Well, shaved, and drank myself silly, I should qualify. After 8 beers, taking a few pictures of my erect dick sounded pretty reasonable. I uploaded the pictures to my computer, and deleted them off the camera, and then forgot about them until Jenny found one.

"Oh God." That's all I could say. I didn't know what to tell her, how to say I wasn't gay, without embarrassing the hell out of myself. Well, too late for that. But I still didn't know what to say.

"Jim, I never... I just. Wow." Her eyes were still glued to the screen, mesmerized by the sight of my erect rod. "Look, it's cool. I won't tell Mom and Dad. They'd freak." "Jenny, I'm not... I'm not gay." I was trying to think of something, anything to tell her. How could I possibly explain this?

"Then what's this?" She finally tore her eyes away from the screen to look at me questioningly. "Why else would you have a picture of... one of these? I mean, come on." She paused and gathered herself, while I looked around the room, desperate to think of something, anything.

"It's, umm. Look, could you, could you turn that off please? I can't..." I stopped, stammering, feeling as if my cheeks were about to spontaneously combust.

She grinned and looked again at the screen, while I tried as hard as possible to melt into the carpet. "No way. It's a great picture, and frankly, since you enjoy looking at them, I don't see why I shouldn't, too. Anyhow, it's gorgeous." My cock twitched as she said that, and I felt dizzy.

"Look, I can't talk about this now, ok?" I rushed downstairs to grab myself a glass of water, to collect my thoughts, and mostly to get away from what had to be the most embarrassing moment of my life.

About five minutes later, Jenny came downstairs and walked up to me. She looked at me seriously, and said, "Look, Jim, it's ok. I'm serious. I don't care if you're gay, ok? I love you, and I'll support whoever you are, and whatever choices you make." "Jenny, I'm serious. I'm not gay. That isn't what you thought it was, really. I just can't... I can't talk about it now. I'm going to my room."

"OK. I love you." She hugged me and then stood aside as I climbed back up the stairs to my room and closed the door behind me, and I could hear her walking up to her room a few minutes later. I couldn't sleep for a while, and I heard her moving around, and the faint tapping of her fingers on her computer's keyboard.

The next morning was awkward. It was a Saturday, and I was planning to spend all day in. I had a paper for one of my Sociology classes I was intending to work on, and I was dreading having to face Jenny again when I went down to get some breakfast. She, however, was quietly cheerful, and I got the honest sense that she didn't care about my sexuality, but would just love and support me. It felt nice to know I had a sister like that, though obviously the circumstances sucked unbelievably. I was very quiet and withdrawn, and fled soon after.

The day passed uneventfully, until the evening came. I finished my paper, and had a few beers as I watched ESPN for a bit. When evening rolled around, I was hungry and thinking of ordering a pizza, and decided to check and see if Jenny wanted to share one, as we often did. I thought maybe that would lessen my discomfort. Wow, was I wrong.

I pushed open Jenny's door, and the words froze in my mouth. She was sitting with her back to me, and on her screen, in very large and vivid detail, were all three photos of my dick. What's more, her shoulder was pulled down and forward, and it looked to me very much like she had her hand down her sweatpants. My sister was masturbating to pictures of my cock!

"OhmygodI'msorry!" I pulled the door shut behind me, and heard the angry gasp as she realized I'd seen her. "I just wanted to see if you wanted a pizza. I didn't mean to, I didn't know..." OK, I was babbling. Like you'd do better in those circumstances. Please.

She opened the door a few minutes later. Her face was flushed, and she looked embarrassed and a bit angry. "You can't just barge in there, you know. You need to respect my privacy!"

"YOUR privacy! Aren't you the same person who was poking around on my computer yesterday? And, look, you need to... you can't keep those pictures. You have to delete them, ok?"

She looked surprised, and paused for a minute. "Look, I'm sorry. I'd just... I'd never seen such a perfect... I really liked it. It, there's just something about it that's really..." She stopped, searching for words, and I shuffled my feet and looked around the room. My cock was twitching again, and I tried hard not to think of that. She finally continued, haltingly, "Look, this is going to sound odd, but it's just a beautiful... I mean, it's physically perfect, the whole thing... I can see why you like it so much. I do too. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It's just the right shape and looks so soft and I just want to..."

"Look, for the last time, I'm not gay. I don't keep pictures of men's... of men on my computer. It's just not what you think, ok?" The beer was making me less able to articulate my thoughts, though frankly the circumstances were already doing a pretty good job there anyhow.

"Well, I hear you say that, but then you have these pictures of a, of a, of a penis here, and when you say one thing, and my own eyes tell me another, I believe my eyes, ok?"

"Just delete them, ok?" I turned away and staggered off to my room, ashamed and confused.

She followed behind me, and grabbed my elbow as I opened my door. "Hey. Hey. Look, I'm sorry I was poking around on your computer, ok? I shouldn't have done it. I was looking for that game you downloaded last week, the funny one, kind of like Tetris but with all the faces? I really didn't mean to... I didn't know, but then I saw the directory called 'self portraits' and I... oh my God." Her hand went to her mouth, and she stared at me with huge eyes. Her eyes darted down to my crotch, then back up to my eyes, and I could see she had put the whole thing together.

I just stood there like an idiot, and the whole situation felt totally surreal to me. "Yeah, ok. Just... just delete them, ok?" I went into my room and slammed the door, feeling completely out of my depth. I had a bottle of vodka in there, and I drank rather a lot of it before passing out in my clothes.

Sunday afternoon, I awoke feeling like seven kinds of hell had crawled into my head and set up camp. They had a brass band in there, and were working on a rousing Sousa march when I staggered into the bathroom to wake myself up with a proper shower. Half an hour later, I started to feel human, and the hot water was quickly disappearing, so I went and shaved and dressed. The door was slightly ajar – I must not have closed it all the way, being hung over as I was.

I made it downstairs without tripping and falling downstairs, though just barely. Jenny was in the kitchen, and seemed very chipper – she couldn't stop smiling. She was wearing a thin cotton shirt with the top two buttons undone, which showed a tantalizing glimpse of cleavage as she bent over to deposit my sandwich in front of me. We ate a quiet lunch, and then I headed to the living room to watch some TV, and spread out on our big couch, putting my feet up and basically taking up the whole thing. I was wearing an old pair of sweats without a shirt, which was fairly common attire for me. About ten minutes later, Jenny came in and stood behind the couch for a while, watching TV over my shoulder. I looked up to ask her a question and saw her staring at my crotch with a vacant expression. The words died in my throat, and I went back to watching the movie, not sure what to think or say.

When the commercial came on, she went into the kitchen and brought back two beers. She cracked both open and handed one over, then sat down on the floor in front of me, leaning back against the couch, her hair brushing my legs. She stretched out languidly, catlike, and then leaned farther back, so her head just touched my thigh. I noticed her blouse now had the top three buttons undone, and I could see most of her breasts, all the way to the top of her aureoles, dark brown in the flickering light. Her nipples were poking out like they sought to burrow through the cotton to taste freedom, and I wished they would.

I tried not to look. I knew I shouldn't look. But I couldn't help myself. And as I stared, ignoring the movie, I started to swell.

Another commercial came, and she finished her beer, and casually turned to look up at me. My partially erect cock was inches from her face, and in her line of sight as she asked me if I wanted another. My cock gave a visible twitch, and then I nodded and she smiled and went to the kitchen.

Jenny came back and bent over the couch to hand me the beer, and as I reached out to take it I saw her top was open so far her right breast was hanging freely, the whole luscious globe exposed, the nipple fiercely pointing down. It was probably half an inch long, and I was mesmerized by the sight. I stared for a few seconds, a bit dazed, then looked up, and saw a pleased smile on her face as she straightened then moved around the couch and again sat in front of me.

The sight was even better this time. I could see another half inch down, to the base of her nipples, and the right one was almost out of her top. I paid no attention to the movie, and just stared, wondering what was happening. My half swollen cock quickly rose some more, and my tight sweatpants did very little to hide my condition. I suppose I should mention at this point that I almost never wear underwear with sweats.

When the next commercial came, Jenny stretched and again turned around to face me, my rigid cock right in front of her as she looked up at me smiling. "Can I ask you a question, Jim?" she asked, and I just nodded.

"Why did you take the pictures?" Her eyes never left mine, but she could clearly see my erection, now perhaps 2/3 full, through my sweats. I paused, and not knowing what else to say, decided on the truth.

"I was thinking about using a, you know, personal ad. An adult ad. Personal. Adult personal." I was babbling again.

She nodded pensively, and her eyes glanced ever so briefly down at my cock before she looked back up quickly. Had I not been looking closely, I might have missed it, but it was clear as day. Her next question though took me by surprise. "Why would you need to do that? You're a good looking guy. I know the ladies must be ready and willing..."

I just hemmed and hawed. I couldn't form a decent answer to save my life. She nodded as if I'd answered, and said in a deceptively reasonable tone of voice, "Well, I'd expect those would work. Any woman would want what's in those pictures." My cock swelled visibly as she said it, and the tip pushed out of the top of my sweats. I had never been that hard before in my life, and my sweats couldn't hold my cock in – hell, I don't think anything could have at that point. She looked down and stared openly as it grew to its full length so the head was fully visible, and perhaps an inch below that, open and exposed in front of her, then she licked her lips, looked up again, and said the words I'd never forget. "I know I do."