[ Dear Readers:
Many thanks for all of your encouraging comments.
If you prefer to read episodes of this series without their predecessors, that's fine and I hope you enjoy them that way. Just a heads-up, though: It's not meant to be an anthology. All the episodes (except the first) build on those before them, so you'll probably conclude some things differently from what was intended.
Some of our readers' public and private comments touch on unmentioned matters, just a few of which are safe sex, STDs and common real-world consequences of things and events in the story.
Two chief rules in theatre are, first, everything on stage must have a reason to be there, second, everything that the action requires must be present, whether explicitly or implicitly. It's not much different in written fiction. By the second rule, if a story does not get into some particular issue explicitly or implicitly (for example, indirectly through consequences) then it is irrelevant because the author deems it so and asks the reader to consider that issue adequately handled without mention. Sometimes action may be simplified a little from what is actually meant for the sake of smoothness and avoiding distracting details unnecessary for understanding the scene. A good author has respect for the reader's intelligence and imagination and does not feel compelled to paint every scene with photographic detail.
In short, if it ain't there, it don't matter. Please remember that this is a story, not a case study or the news.]
SECRET NO LONGER
Chapter 11
Linda: Jason's Changes, Shirley and Timmy, and Trouble on the Horizon
"Mom, I just want you to know that Lori and I broke up."
That surprised me. They seemed so close. And yet, they're both young.
"I'm sorry to hear that. You doing OK?"
"I'm doing OK."
"Good." Now the question that had to be asked. "Is it because of...you-know-what?"
"Nope, not a chance. She doesn't know, and it had nothing to do with my own decision. Well, think about it: we're both just twenty years old, and we agreed that we both want to play the field, have other relationships, maybe a lot of them, who knows? Anyway, more than a few; you need to know how to be close to different kinds of personalities before you learn how to really get it right with the one you'll spend your life with. There's still time and we don't want to waste it."
"Wise thinking, Son. Sounds like a speech your father..."
Oh, God, such a bolt of fear suddenly seized my heart, chilling my very soul and turning my blood to ice in my veins! How unprepared I was for how this mere mention of Fred could threaten the wall of denial and emotional isolation without which I could not have sustained this life of debauchery and indulgence, this one which I intended to exploit for whatever days remained before I would be forced to return to the life one might call normal. I cannot--I
must
not--lose that fragile separation before its time. To abandon the life I had come to know and love before all this happened was unthinkable. The time would come soon enough when this would have to fade into the past, and I was doggedly determined to milk every moment from this side-trip from sensibility that was there to be milked. After that, everything would just go back to the way it was before, right?
It did not help to see ample indications that my son was engaged in his own version of the very same struggle.
With a convulsive effort of thought and emotion, I managed to push away the truth, the objections, back behind the wall and shore it up to stand again, if but for an all-too-short time. Jason, I could see, had accomplished the same thing, in his own way.
Quickly, rushing through it to try to dodge any more conflicting realities, I said what I had begun to say and managed to get past the entire subject, though not without some very nasty bruises of the heart I vainly hoped would heal quickly.
"Anyway, Mom, as it happens, though, there is a new lady in my life."
I was glad to start talking about something else.
"And who is that?"
"Carla."
Carla, you may recall, is Timmy's sister. And if you recall that, you may recall that Timmy is the very one who surprised me that day as I absent-mindedly set out to snuggle up to Jason with half my clothes off. And if you recall
that
, you'll recall that, to our blessed relief, we realized that he and his mother had a well-established physical relationship as well, and that it served as a demonstration that it is possible for some people, with the right ideas and the right preparation, to carry on incestuous relationships without disaster.
"Hmm... That was quick."
"Not really, Mom," he explained. "Actually Lori and I broke up a bit over a week ago. I just decided to see how things would go before I got around to telling you. Then Carla and I hooked up."
"That's very nice. I have to admit, though, that I find the implications interesting."
"I take that to mean how she and Timmy and their mom like to play the way we've been playing. Right?"
"That is what I meant, naturally."
"Well, let me tell you about what happened the other day. Carla and I were really deep into it when Timmy came by the room. The way things are over there they sometimes leave their doors open when they're getting hot and heavy; it's kind of an invitation to the others to join in if they want to.
"That's just what happened. It was definitely weird to see Timmy look in and say hello and then come in when Carla beckoned to him. Not that it was a problem; that's why we left the door open that time; it was just something I'd never experienced before. In fact I wanted to see what it was like.
"It turned out to be very free, easy and fun. Timmy said hello, right there while I was pumping into Carla--well, we kinda slowed down a bit, but didn't miss a beat otherwise--and started shucking his duds. He kinda held back a bit, judging by our actions when he should get in closer.
"To make a long and sweet story short, we all managed to find what was just right to do. Timmy started playing with Carla's tits...er, breasts; I know you prefer that word--and before long he and I both did our thing with Carla while the other did whatever to add to her pleasure and get our own. It was weird at first for me, but after a while it just seemed perfectly natural and a special thrill."
A tiny, delicious little tingle passed through me. The little
ménage à trois
Jason had just described intrigued me, triggering a momentary fantasy that somehow, sometime, I might have the chance to try something of the kind. An instant later I realized that was impossible, not even within the limits of this bizarre, displaced walk through debauchery that had become the agenda of our lives. I was even a little envious.
"That's encouraging, I said, "and it's kind of reassuring to see someone else playing the same dangerous game we are and getting away with it. I'll admit I feel a lot better."
"I think it helped me that way a little too."
I noticed that Jason had not mentioned Shirley, Carla and Timmy's mother, and I refrained from mentioning it. I wanted to, though; I needed to know how all of it affected the member of the equation corresponding to me. I had intended to get together with Shirley and chat it over when I first learned of their incestuous habits; now I would make a point of it. First I checked with Jason to learn from Carla and Timmy whether or not Shirley would appreciate being asked about it. Given that she knew about Jason and me, she would be fine with it, I was told.
A few days later I sat across the patio table in her back yard, next to their swimming pool. We had plenty of other interesting pleasantries and topics to chat about, so it was some time before the main subject came up. As I had been told, she was perfectly comfortable with the subject, knowing, of course, that I was hardly one to criticize.
"I have to admit to a burning curiosity about how it started with you," I said. "Jason and I slid into it in a pretty elaborate way, with a lot of unusual factors, like those photographs the guys were enjoying, and all that. I suspect your story is a lot different."
"A lot different, and a lot simpler," she said, easily and comfortably, sipping at her coffee. "This may surprise you, given that I, and Daryl when he was alive, believe in God and practice the religion we believe in. Of course, our intrafamilial shenanigans are not exactly the stuff of the weekly church bulletins. It's a fact that there are actually organized groups of people who believe that things like swinging and such are morally OK. Check it on the Internet sometime. They believe much the way Daryl and I believe, or in his case, believed, that most religions, particularly Western ones, are wildly oppressive and overbearing on sexual matters. We contend that it's certain highly influential men with highly influential sexual hang-ups that are at the root of it. Not God. When we tried some sexual adventures with some other people we looked back on the experience and decided that there was nothing we had done that we needed to be ashamed of. Not in God's eyes, and those are the only ones that matter
"Mind you, though, incest was an exception. At the time we considered that as awful as most everyone does, but it just didn't come up on conversation; it was a nonentity for us, some distant affair far removed from us and civilization.
"Then Daryl had his accident. I was pretty well broken up about it--well, you know that very well; you are one of the blessed souls that helped me through it. In time I got back to feeling human again. I dated a bit, but didn't have very good experiences. Just hooked up with some losers. Sort of like Kay Parker in the first
Taboo
."
"The what?" I asked.
"Movie. Classic. About a mother slipping into sex with her son. She had a string of lousy experiences after her husband disappeared too."
"OK. So then...?"
"One part of our liberal sexual attitudes was that we insisted on bringing up our children with an absolute minimum of sexual inhibitions. The ones we did teach are more about human respect and dignity, rather than sex in particular, things that apply elsewhere in life. But, in general, we taught them that when people of mature age, mentally competent, consenting, unselfishly motivated and reasonably responsible about whatever consequences might apply to a situation decide to enjoy sex, in some form or other, it's almost certainly a good thing."
"I like the sound of that," I said. "I can't say I my folks were quite that liberal, but I'm grateful they didn't stuff my noggin full of the crap so many others have."
"Good. There is so much unnecessary pain in the world because people mindlessly perpetuate the gloomy pronouncements of sour and disillusioned men who have been dust for centuries."
"Very poetic."
"Thank you. So, anyway, we gave them that message, but we never thought about how to advise them about incest, or we'd have told them it's an exception to the rule. It's just as you were saying: dangerous enough and unpredictable enough that the world is best off shunning it altogether.
