Secret No Longer

[ Dear Readers:

If you prefer to read episodes of this series without their predecessors, that's fine and I hope you enjoy them that way. Just a heads-up, though: It's not meant to be an anthology. All the episodes (except the first) build on those before them, so you'll probably conclude some things differently from what was intended.

Some of our readers' public and private comments touch on unmentioned matters, just a few of which are safe sex, STDs and common real-world consequences of things and events in the story.

Two chief rules in theatre are, first, everything on stage must have a reason to be there, second, everything that the action requires must be present, whether explicitly or implicitly. It's not much different in written fiction. By the second rule, if a story does not get into some particular issue explicitly or implicitly (for example, indirectly through consequences) then it is irrelevant because the author deems it so and asks the reader to consider that issue adequately handled without mention. Sometimes action may be simplified a little from what is actually meant for the sake of smoothness and avoiding distracting details unnecessary for understanding the scene. A good author has respect for the reader's intelligence and imagination and does not feel compelled to paint every scene in photographic detail.

In short, if it ain't there, it don't matter. Please remember that this is a story, not a case study or the news.]

SECRET NO LONGER

Chapter 04

Janine's First Secret, and a Painful Decision

Daybreak delivered all of the stress and pain the hours preceding it had threatened. The empty shell of a woman drifted weary and half-dazed through the routines of morning. I saw Fred growing increasingly concerned as he observed me while going through his own routines.

"You don't look well, Linda," he said. "Are you sure you're OK?"

"I'm fine, Fred," I replied, hollowly. "Just didn't sleep well, that's all."

"Something on your mind, Lin?" he asked, placing a tender kiss on my forehead, which I was too numb and bitter to appreciate. "Anything you need to talk about?"

Yep, plenty, you bastard! I wanted to confront him, but fatigue and my own shame held me in check. And anyway, this was a lousy time for that.

"Nothing much," I forced myself to say. "Just have a good day. I'll feel better when you get home."

He clearly didn't believe me. I couldn't help but feel my anger subside somewhat in spite of myself seeing that sincere concern on his face as he looked me over carefully.

"OK then, but if you need anything, please call. If you'd like me to come home early, remember that it's no problem."

"Thanks, Hon. I'll be all right." I kissed him absently and saw him to the door.

"Baby, you look like you've just come back from a vacation to Hell," Jannie said as we met for what would obviously be a coffee day. "Then again, I'll bet I don't look so great myself."

"I've seen you looking better," I replied. It's nice to have the kind of friend who can tell you exactly what she means, and who is just as willing to hear you do the same.

"This is tough for you, I know. Both of us, really, though it's worse for you. Jason is your son, after all."

"Yes, he is," I said like one confessing the worst of sins. "What can I say, but..."

"Linda, stop!" she quickly interrupted, once again anticipating exactly what I was about to say. "Remember what I said before. I'm not about to hold any of this against you; that's the last thing you need to worry about. I only mentioned it because I know that's most of the reason why this has been so painful for you."

I took her proffered hand in mine and placed its back against my cheek.

"Jannie, you are the friend every friend should be, but few are."

"Eh, well, I try," she replied, grinning.

"I just can't get together with what the guys are doing and what, well, we're doing," I said. "They're being bad; we're being bad; and I don't know which is the worse. And some nagging part of me is saying, forget it, nobody's really being bad at all."

"That's a bit of a stretch, though, let's admit it."

"Right, but still..." I paused as a thought that had insinuated itself into my night's tortured ruminations surfaced again. "Tell me honestly, Jannie, how do you feel about what Jason is doing? Really?

Jannie looked at the table, tracing the rim of her coffee cup with a fingertip for quite a long time.

"You know, Lin, sometimes it seems we have no secrets left, you and I, but I have a few that I think I can declassify for you and they just might surprise you. Maybe, just maybe, they'll help a little with the Jason question." She paused for quite some time, leaving me intrigued. The little hint of mystery took my mind off my pain and I felt quite a bit better.

"All right, all right, are you gonna just keep me in suspense all afternoon now?"

"Maybe I should, just to give you something better to think about," she replied teasingly. "But no, I'll spare you. Ready for a little shock?"

"Ready. Fire at will."

"The first secret is this: Every now and then Sammy and I have enjoyed a little, shall we say, free-love stuff. Nothing really outrageous, but it does have quite a wild-and-free feel to it." She studied my face a while. "So, are you shocked and disgusted yet?"

"To tell the truth, Jannie, I'm utterly amazed, but not in the least shocked or disgusted," I replied. "Hey, why not, if you're enjoying it? I confess, though, that I wouldn't have guessed that in a hundred years."

"I figured that. I'm glad you aren't put off by it."

"So, do you have any juicy accounts of how it got started that you can tell me?"

"I'm so glad you asked," she said. "If you hadn't I'd have done that anyway."

"Then do. I'm all ears."

"OK, it started like this," she began. I'll make this narrative for you.

"About six years ago we shared a cabin in the mountains east of L.A. with a couple of friends I'll call Rosie and Ben. It was a one-roomer, so we kept everything very quiet and G-rated.

"A couple of days into the vacation Rosie and Ben left to visit some friends in Alhambra. They said they were spending the night there. Sammy and I were pretty damn hot to trot by then and now we had the place to ourselves until sometime the next morning.

"There were lots of odd things that needed doing so we didn't get our chance for fun until nearly seven o'clock that night, and boy, were we ready! Sammy put on some mood music and snuggled up close on the sofa. He had those hands of his under my sweater in a flash and pretty soon I could feel his fingers teasing my nipples while he planted little kisses up and down my neck. I always light up inside when he does that, but something about being on a leisurely vacation in that terrific setting, not to mention several days of forced chastity, put a lot more fuel on that fire. My jeans and panties quickly joined my other clothes on the floor. I felt him lift me to my knees on the sofa while he buried his head between my legs and set that tongue of his dancing."

I could see a subtle quiver roll through Jannie's body as the memory surfaced. I wondered if she could see my body quivering too.

"He worked me over like that until I came—geez, must have been at the very least three times. Maybe more. I lost count. My legs turned to jelly and my knees buckled. I dropped to the floor and that Magnificent Matterhorn(y) of his stood up like one of the pine trees outside the window. I locked onto it and gave him a damn enthusiastic blow job, if I do say so myself! Before too long it was time to get past the appetizers and on to the main course.

"We had been at that for I don't know how long, and then we heard the door lock turn and the door open. There they were, Rosie and Ben! For some reason that I can't remember now they had had to cut their evening short.

"For several seconds all four of us just stayed where we were, looking at each other. Of course there was nothing terribly shocking going on; it was just so unexpected. Rosie was blushing like a red beacon and they both looked painfully embarrassed.

" 'Geez, we're really sorry, guys,' Ben was saying. 'We should have...'

"Sammy cut him off.

" 'Hey, what's to be sorry about? We could have hung a Do Not Disturb sign on the door but the concierge was out of 'em. Really, it's a zero problemo, you two!'

"That put them at ease and they relaxed a bit. What was strange in all this is that, even though a little time had passed since they arrived, Sammy and I were so fired up and into each other that we didn't even care that they were looking right at us When it finally dawned on me that we had been humping and bumping away in all our naked glory with an audience I suddenly felt pretty shy and self-conscious, but it wasn't the way you'd normally feel if you were surprised in the nude; it was really just a kind of weird uncertainty about what

they

might think, seeing us behaving like a couple of brazen exhibitionists. That feeling lasted about half a second.

" 'Gee, thanks, Sammy,' I heard Ben say, still a bit awkward about it. 'I guess we'd better go now.'

"He was speaking very slowly, almost like he was stalling for time. It suddenly occurred to me that they were getting turned on watching us! Linda, I swear, if you'd told me a week before that I'd be nude and nasty right there with our friends looking on, and instead of rushing to get something to cover up with I'd be just getting hotter, I'd have called you crazy. But that's exactly what was happening, and I could see with one eye that Sammy was getting the same vibe, even stronger. I leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

" 'Sammy, do you think...'

" 'We should invite them to stay?' he whispered back. I just nodded. 'Well, then, why not?'

"I was thrilled, but even more, amazed that I

was

thrilled! Sammy looked at them.

" 'Sure. But you don't have to,' was all he said.

"Ben and Rosie looked just a little bit startled at this, but only for a moment.

" 'Are you sure? I mean, we can go if...'

" 'We're sure. Really. Just pull up a chair or a floor or something and enjoy the show.'

"They were visibly relaxing. Rosie still had a kind of giggly shy look about her, but they both headed right near us and sat close by on the floor. I was loving it! Ben was struggling mightily to find a way to watch me without gawking and eventually gave up when he could see I wasn't at all bothered by it. In fact, I was getting turned on even more by his attention! It was hot to see that I could grab his attention like that.

"Ben and Rosie were getting more and more aroused by our little spectacle by the second. Her nipples were boring holes in her shirt and Ben was obviously trying to conceal the big bulge in his jeans. The more we went on, though, the more excited they got and the less self-conscious.

"Rosie snaked her hand down between Ben's legs and started playing with his hardening cock. He sat up a bit and wasn't trying to hide at all. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Rosie and started lifting her shirt up. She giggled again and put up a faint protest, but a few seconds later her shirt was on the floor. They started a little play-wrestling which ended with both of them naked as jaybirds and horny as minks. It was just sexy as all hell to be doing what we were doing and watching our friends getting turned on and naked from watching us.

"They settled down after that and just quietly touched and teased each other for a while, but you can bet, it wasn't a very long while! They were too enthralled by watching us to get into too much of specifics, and it was just a while later that I saw Ben on the floor, on his back, with Rosie opening wide to take him up.

"Linda, this was unbelievable! We were picking up on their fire and they were picking up on ours. I was getting all kinds of is-this-really-happening kinds of thoughts, and that only made it seem more wicked and wild.

"Sammy got me up for some doggy-style and we grooved along on that while Ben and Rosie tried a variety of positions and tricks of their own. Rosie got close to orgasm that that shot me up there as well. The guys didn't miss that and they got us both to the top almost exactly together!

"It all went on for a good deal longer, until the guys were spent and ready to collapse. When it was over and we had come back to earth we were all a little embarrassed again.

" 'Ben, I hope you don't think we're a couple of pervs now,' Sammy said to him. 'It's just that when you guys came in we were just too far up on Cloud Nine to worry about it.'

" 'Well, Sammy, that's the last thing that we would think,' Ben replied. 'I just hope you don't think

we're

the pervs for peeping.'

" 'Not one bit, you two!' I chimed in. 'It was great! Hey, if you two don't think we're sickos for this, you can bet we don't think that about you either!'

" 'Baby, not one tiny bit!' Rosie said. 'If you ever want an audience again, just say the word. In fact...' she paused a bit, like she was a little apprehensive about what she was going to say. 'It would be fine with us if we just decide to let our hair down and kick out whenever we want to while we're here like this. You know, just do what come natch'erly, and if we're all together, great, of not, that's fine too. Am I right, Ben?'

" 'Absolutely, love,' he said back to her.

"So, that's how it was for several more days. I'm not saying we turned our whole vacation into a non-stop exhibitionist fuck-fest, but we didn't hesitate a second when any of us got the urge to mambo.

"So, Lin, what do you think of all this? Are you appalled, outraged, offended beyond all belief?"

I got up and walked over to her.

"See for yourself," I whispered to her.

She wasted no time getting my own jeans down to check the evidence. When she found the flower garden had been well-watered she smiled and in moments I felt her own tongue seeking my pleasure point, and finding it. By overstimulated body lurched and bucked as she began her own dance. It couldn't have taken more than a minute to get me to the top of the mountain and kick in the afterburner. I felt the orgasm strike; I felt it linger, and I felt myself slowly come down and eventually find my way back to my chair.

"I'll take that as a 'no'," she said, comically noncommittal. I laughed back, and could still hear the choppy tremor in my breath as I did.

"There's more, I hope," I said.

"Of course there is. So, now, where was I?

"It was a few days before the end of our vacation. We went out for dinner at a place that was surprisingly cosmopolitan considering where we were. Dinner was great and there was a really good combo playing. Sammy and I were snuggling up good and close and I could feel some real heat starting up. I suspected things were no much different on the other side of the table.

"We made it home and Sammy put on some music so we could dance some more. We'd had wine with dinner, not a lot, but enough to take the edge off our inhibitions, anyway. The lights were down low and Sammy was making no secret of how his hands were roaming all over me, sending tingles all over every time. The view across the room was no less restrained.

"We changed partners from time to time. At first, we were pretty careful with each others' spouses, but not for long. Pretty soon all the reserve was gone.

"I remember the first moment that I felt Ben's hand on my breast. You can imagine that it was a pretty radical thing for a proper wife to be enjoying and I jumped a bit, but soon I was taking it in stride, and loving it. Ben had turned me so Sammy and Rosie could see everything that was going on and I could see Sammy smiling wide, thoroughly enjoying the sight of Ben's fingers tracing their way across my evening gown until they found my nipples poking their way through the silky fabric. Of course, I could also see Sammy cruising Rosie's Outback and finding her own personal attractions too.

"Ben's hand had subtly moved to the side and back inward again, but now he was inside the dress, brushing his fingertips right against the flesh of my breasts, soon finding and teasing my nipples. A shock wave ran through me and my pussy suddenly felt almost dripping! Sammy moved our way a bit and pulled the neck tie of my dress, sending it right to the floor. A few more moves and my nylons were there too and I was nude.

"Rosie gave a gleeful little giggle and then I saw Sammy working his way under her dress. Right on cue, Ben whispered a very formal 'excuse me a moment' and repeated for Rosie what Sammy had just done with me. Just a few moments later we had the guys stripped down and saw two men with their war-cannons pointed right to the stars.

"We switched partners again, and now, for the first time, Ben was not only seeing me nude; he was touching me as well. A quick mixture of weird thoughts and feelings came over me, but changed quickly to raw, animal lust, a lust for my own pleasure, but also, a lust for Sammy's. It was like we had a kind of psychic network between us, feeding each others' fire and flowing with each others' love.

"Rosie and Sammy were swaying to the music, both facing in our direction, Sammy behind her, and I could see she was brushing over his rigid cock with her butt. I felt Ben's cock nestle itself between my butt cheeks as his stroked my pussy with one hand and played with my breasts with the other, all the while driving me crazy with kisses all over my neck and shoulders. I started just melting and I felt him lead me to the sofa. Sammy and Rosie decided to follow us and now the guys were seated while Rosie and I spread wide over their hips. Ben's cock stood tall and proud, and I felt myself move lower and lower and then...it happened. Ben was in me, fucking me, pleasing me while Rosie meshed with my husband beside me.

"Linda, it's hard to explain, but there was not even the tiniest shred of jealousy or doubt there. It was all so...so natural-feeling, like, it's sex, warm, wonderful sex, but an entirely different thing from making love with Sammy. I didn't feel there was any conflict between them. When I saw Sammy's eyes glazing over from fucking Rosie I was only pleased. Everything was safe and handled, and we didn't hold back at all.

"I can't even remember everything that happened. What I will say is that we explored every avenue we could think of and then ended the evening by making love with our own spouses, which is how it should be, and then slept peacefully all night.

"So, there you have it. Jannie and Sammy, swingers extraordinaire. Still not appalled, Lin?"

"Nope."

As much as I enjoyed Jannie's story and looked forward to hearing more, my first priority was the subject of Jason.

"It's like this, Lin," she said in response to my question. "All that goes to show that Sammy and I have learned to enjoy a certain measure of sexual freedom with others when it's right for us both. We are not avid swingers; we don't belong to any clubs or anything; when it happens, it happens, spontaneously. With me?"

"Sure."

"Now, suppose we consider..."

"Hold on," I interrupted. "Let me take a guess; let's see how close I can get. Point 1: Jason is a young but perfectly mature adult for his age. Point 2: He's quite a hunk to look at, if I do say so myself. Point 3: You and Sammy have space in your own marriage for, shall we say, guests of a sexual nature."

I shot her a bit of a wink and a grin there.

"Point 4: Jason has had a sort of crush on you ever since he discovered the difference between girls and women. Point 5: If I'm not quite mistaken, my close friend is just a wee bit sweet on him as well. Point 6...Point 6 is, it's not entirely out of the question that something just might come of that someday."