Author's note - For a better understanding of this second installment, check out the first installment of Scenes from the Amaranth Room. I hope you enjoy it.
*****
1.
In my mind's eye, I go to that room I've built for myself - a room where nobody can see or hear me without my permission. It's where the gentle stranger lives and waits for me. In dreams, the room is large, with a high ceiling, but dimly lit. In spite of the spatial aspect of the room, it remains warm and cozy, like the all-embracing arms of a sweet lover. Books line the north and west walls, adding a musty paper smell to the ancient wood and varnish baseboards and molding. The other walls are papered with a century-old floral design. Persian rugs position themselves beneath plush, comfortable chairs, and in the corner by the window is a big, soft, four-poster bed, flanked by two nightstands. A proper fireplace lurks off to the side.
I'm not sure why the walls are painted amaranth. The color is reddish-rose, and makes me think of fresh blood. Or, perhaps, amaranth is the color of my ardor and my soul's passion. Of the insatiable need that grows with each passing day - a need which might someday destroy me.
Everything I need or want lies there, waiting. I must be patient.
2.
Kurt, my son, is my life. My grown boy recently set off for college, leaving me alone in my tidy World War I-era bungalow. Although his dorm room is exactly 73 miles from my front door - I checked the odometer on my grey Buick on the trip home after dropping him off - he returns to me as often as possible.
I tell him he needs to find some girls his age to court. He nods, but there's no denying his mother is his first love. His heart and his body are still my domain, but I know that will change in time. For many years, I've prepared myself for this scenario, which has yet to play out.
At thirty-eight, I still have a nice figure. I'm of average height or less, with short-cropped brown hair and D-cup breasts. My tits barely sag, and are capped with large, reddish-pink areolas. My nipples, which Kurt had nursed on for many years as a child, and now suckles today during our incestuous escapades, become hard and pointed with the least provocation.
3.
In reverie, I drift back through the years, back to when I was a horny, young single mother. After forcing myself to wean Kurt from my breasts, fearing schoolmates or family would discover our naughty secret, a massive void opened in my daily routine.
My nipples. Oh, God, always my abused nipples. Not having Kurt to entertain me, I would tug on them mercilessly, imagining his hungry mouth. I would cry out, emitting a low, guttural noise as I dug my nails into the tortured buds. My pussy throbbed. My hips gyrated as I rubbed my ass on the now-ubiquitous beach towel I had spread out on the bed to absorb the wetness from my constantly aching pussy. Now I just needed my little vibrating friend.
Reaching into the nightstand, I brought out the now-seasoned tool. With the flick of a thumb, it came alive once again. Quickly, the noise became muffled as I slid it deeply into my box. Wetting it thoroughly with my juices, I began to work it around my clit. I had to be careful not to come immediately. My pussy had a hair-trigger. Careful...careful...
Oh, what the hell.
"Arrrghhh," I growled, humping gently into the air as my friend brought home the first hit. I imagined someone watching me with disapproval. Oh, God, another one!
"Ohhh...ahhggg," I gasped and panted, wetness covering my ass. Fresh, warm milk trickled down the side of my breast as I punished my poor nipple.
This game would go on for an hour or so until both my pussy and nipples burned from abuse. Dutifully, I licked my little friend clean and tossed it back into the nightstand. Then I would rub my hands all over my ass and crotch, bringing my wet hands to my mouth repeatedly to consume as much of my juice as possible.
Rolling off the bed, I would kneel on the green, short-pile carpet, covering my face with the wet, musky beach towel, inhaling the heady odor of fresh sex. Often, I wept. I longed for my son, and the closeness of his body. I needed my brother, and his ability to satisfy my cravings.
Glancing at the clock on the mantle, I realized it was time to pick up my son from school. I cleaned up and made myself proper. If only the outside world knew what a whorish slut I was.
4.
Regular interludes with a breast pump kept me from leaking all over my blouse, but did not provide the direct stimulation I craved so much, so I would find myself with my hands cupping my tits, pulling on my buds more and more brusquely.
A quest ensued for tactile pleasure. At home, I took to leaving off my bra entirely. The habit seemed quite unnecessary inside my abode, anyway. My breasts still had enough firmness not to sag like a pair of half-empty water balloons. The fabric of my tops became thinner. I took to wearing cheap, one-hundred-percent polyester tee-shirts with a deep vee-neck in the front. I opted for one size too small, so it would sheath my body like a sausage casing. Staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, I looked quite the whorish slob. Sensually, though, I was in heaven.
Taking care of the chores at home, I felt almost topless. The texture of the polyester fabric rubbed constantly against my nipples. When I stopped to touch them, I no longer had to reach underneath my top. On the occasion I would start to lactate, due to the stimulation, large wet spots would appear on the tips of my breasts. I ignored them, letting the milk stay, cold and wet, coating my nipples, keeping them painfully erect.
I imagined myself as some bored-out white trash divorcee, tramping around her trailer, waiting for her children to come home from school and fuck her, or to watch her get fucked by her brothers. As I bent over to remove laundry from the dryer, the fabric would rise above my ass, leaving it exposed and vulnerable. I imagined some neighborhood beast sneaking up behind me and raping me. He was black; dark, shiny black. In my middle-class, Caucasian world, he was the epitome of raw, virile manhood, and the personification of the inner fire that I desperately fought to tame.