Saving My Soul

A/N - Hello. So if you're a regular reader of my stories, you'll know that most have been about my homeland, just little nuggets about our history and culture. This story is a little bit different. I've watched a couple of documentaries over the years about the porn industry, which were mostly in regards to its more negative aspects. Think one was called 'The Dark Side of Porn', the other 'When Porn Ends...' They were both on Netflix at the time (I'm talking a few years back now, when Netflix was at least somewhat decent.)

They were rather eye-opening to watch. There are also plenty of articles on the internet about the industry, the realities of a film set and filming, the lives of those who star in porn, and some of the stories are just wild. There was a mixture of positive and negative viewpoints regarding those articles. So I thought I'd build a story around all the above, while still attempting to somehow build a romance with all that happening or having happened. Hopefully it works and you'll enjoy it.

Note there are references to hard drug use, drinking, promiscuous sex and basically living life to excess and beyond in the first part of the story. While this story doesn't necessarily reflect any personal opinions of the author regarding the industry, I think you'll find there is a rather negative view lingering through the first part. It has been taken that way purely in regards to the story and plot.

I'm also aware the first part of the story perhaps won't interest some people but it's all in regards to setting up the second half of the story.

Usual caveats. All editing and reviewing done by the author with Microsoft Word. Spelling is usually spot on. Australian / British English. Definitely the occasional typo. Grammar can be ropey at times, but it's been a long time since I sat in a classroom. All mistakes owned up to by the author. Please remember this is only fantasy and I'm an amateur, as in, I don't get paid for this. I write because it's a hobby.

Comments and feedback appreciated as always.

*****

I hadn't grown up hoping to be in my current profession. Yet I bet there are thousands, if not millions of young men, who would give their left nut to be in my position. You watch a porno, see a hot woman or two being fucked by a guy, and you were wishing or hoping that one day, that man might be you. But, trust me on this one, after years of experience, you have to be a special kind of person, whether male, female or something else, to survive in this industry. Very few thrive. Most of us are chewed up and spat out.

It had started innocently enough, I guess. My high school girlfriend, Bethany, was attractive, and I wasn't too bad on the eyes myself. She was petite, blonde, blue eyes, a firm arse and, despite her short stature, a fantastic pair of legs. By the time I hit nineteen, I was tall, broad, tanned, and I'd been blessed with an above average cock. Not going to brag about inches, length or girth. Just that it was a good size.

Neither of us had gone to university and, living in a small apartment, we were struggling to make ends meet every week. So when she approached me one day about starting an online account for one of those 'content creator' websites, specifically adult content, I was a little sceptical at first. Then she smiled and straddled my lap.

"Baby, while I might take a few nudes, I'm thinking we fuck on camera and make money that way."

"Won't people who know us..."

"I don't really mind, but doesn't the idea of fucking me on camera excite you? Just think, while men and women watching it would love to be in either position, you're the man fucking me. I'm the one sucking your big cock. You're the one licking my pussy, then sliding your big cock inside me, taking my pussy or arse, then you can cum on my face. I've done my research and people will pay a lot of money if we do specialty videos."

"How much are we talking here?"

Bethany smiled broadly at me. "Thousands, Mark. We'll make more in a week than what both of us pull in a month."

"Anyone else you know who does this?"

She blushed and I figured a couple of close friends had likely already given her advice. "Yeah, a girl from work is a content creator. She takes photos and does solo videos. Another girl I know creates content with her boyfriend and a girlfriend. They make bank."

Kissing me softly, I had reservations, but once she'd slid off my lap, unzipped my jeans and taken my cock in her mouth, I guess having sex on film wasn't too much of an issue. I'd rather not have my face on camera, but my girlfriend was hot and I was confident I'd have no performance issues, at least. And making her orgasm on film would certainly be an ego boost.

Thankfully, she gave me a few days to think about it. I didn't really feel confident enough to chat to any of my family about it, so that left a couple of close friends. Of course, they just heard about all the sex I'd likely have and thought I'd be stupid to turn it down. Talking to one of Bethany's best friends, she was aware of her idea and thought it would be good to do for a year or two as we'd make tens of thousands for very little work. All we needed was a camera, an internet connection, and perhaps a few sex toys if things got kinky.

Bethany gave me a week before she cautiously approached me about her idea. Sitting next to me on our couch, curling up and snuggling into me, she rested a hand on my chest as I felt her kiss my cheek. "Thought about it, baby?"

"I have."

"And?"

"Okay."

She sat up on her knees, turning to see a glorious smile, the same one I'd fallen in love with over the years we'd been dating. "Really?"

I couldn't help smiling at her enthusiasm. "Yes, sweetheart. But if we're going to do this, we're going to do it properly."

To say Bethany fucked me into the mattress that evening wouldn't be wrong. It was a sign of things to come.

We figured out that just fucking on camera wasn't enough. We saved a bit of money so she could buy a few sexy outfits. We fixed up our bedroom so it looked nice on camera. I was already a gym user but doubled my efforts to get myself looking even better. Bethany was naturally fit, with perfect B-cup breasts and, as I said earlier, an arse that was just sensational. She kept her pussy shaved but now had it waxed.

The first time we filmed ourselves was just for us, to watch back afterwards. Doing that a couple more times helped us understand how to position ourselves, where to put the camera, but the one thing we didn't want to do was act. We agreed we couldn't exactly 'make love' on camera, but it wasn't just going to be mindless sex. We still thought it could be somewhat intimate.

Bethany started the account and I was the one who took nude photos of her. Part of me was still worried about that, but in the end, guys might look at her photos and jerk off, but I was the one who slept next to her, got to fuck her, and spent my time with her. The only concern I had was being out with her and men, and even women, recognising her. I wasn't sure how either of us would react to that.

The first time I appeared in any way was in photos of her sucking my cock. Those received plenty of attention, and that's when guys started to show a jealous side, wondering who she was sucking off. Some of the comments were disgusting, but most guys just said I was a lucky son of a bitch. Some even complimented me on my size, and once photos appeared of us doing other things, some women were also commenting about my above average appendage.

Bethany showed me how much we made in those first two months before we starting making videos. By that stage, I was comfortable with her nude form being online as I was surprised at how unworried I was about it all. But we both knew that, once we started filming and uploading, we'd likely start making more money. In addition, we started advertising that we'd make specialty photos and videos for a larger fee.

It was a little awkward at first. I'll admit that. Most people don't want to see the male in porn, unless they're watching gay porn. Bethany was centre of attention, but what made me feel great about myself was that she didn't fake it. I'd been with her long enough to know when she was, and we'd discussed it not long after we'd started our sexual relationship. I'd rather she be honest and admit it wasn't working, then I'd improve for her.

After half a dozen videos or so, we'd improved enough that our subscription rate exploded. Men loved her, women loved me, and many thought we looked fantastic when fucking on camera. Occasionally, we'd make love and those were some of our most popular videos, almost forgetting the camera was rolling. Did our videos end up elsewhere? Sure, there wasn't a whole lot we could do about it. Did it worry us? No, we knew it would happen and, quite frankly, the money rolling in meant we didn't really have to worry about it.

We eventually quit working full-time elsewhere as we focused on making more and more content. When Bethany suggested I start posing and release the content aimed for both men and women, I surprised myself at how quickly I agreed. Bethany loved taking provocative photos of me, I returned the favour on her, then we'd produce a film. We made a real team and, despite what we were doing, we were falling even more in love with each other. There was never a suggestion of inviting others to join in. The only thing we did was add further things to our lovemaking. Our first anal sex video was an immediate hit. Fucking her arse while fucking her pussy with a large dildo was even more popular. I must have covered her entire body in cum at one point.

Then there were the specialty videos. The number of people out there with a foot fetish was amazing. Some wanted me to lick her feet and toes. Others wanted me to fuck them. Some wanted her to give me a footjob. And most wanted me to cum on them. BDSM was also popular, and it was amusing that while most wanted her tied up, some wanted her to dominate me. The list of what some people wanted had us discussing how far we wanted to go, but when people were throwing literally thousands and thousands of dollars at us to do it, well, we couldn't really turn them down.

Eighteen months into this, Bethany received an email. I don't think either of us thought it would ever be anything more than amateur, but the email would change our lives. It was from a film producer in the United States. They'd seen her photos and our videos. Bethany had never considered that she would become a professional, but when she told me about the email, and the invite we both had to fly there, while we both had reservations, I was almost left thinking 'We've come this far, why not get paid even more for it?'

We knew nothing about the industry apart from a few online articles. We both thought we were already fucking on film. If we managed to break in, there was a chance we'd make more money and live comfortably. The only question we both had was 'Would we end up having to fuck other people? And if we did that, how would our relationship survive?'

Telling our families that we were heading off didn't surprise them. By this stage, they'd all learned what we were doing. My two sisters and mother were not happy that I was heading off to perhaps become a porn star. Her family was a little supportive in the fact it was her life and she was free to choose what to do with it.

Seeing us off at the airport, I could see my mother, in particular, wasn't happy. "I just know it's not an easy life, Mark, and let's be honest. The market is more about her, not you. I've done my research about this. Are you really sure this is what you want to do?"

"You haven't seen us on film, Mum. Trust me, we look hot together."

"And what if she ends up being contracted to do it with other people?" Charlotte asked, my older sister.

It was the question I'd been asking myself since she'd replied to the email, confirming our interest. At heart, I knew that she would eventually end up being filmed with other men. And if that was the case, then if they approved of me, perhaps I'd get a gig or two in films. I knew that very few men made it big in straight porn. But I also knew that some actresses could demand to only film with particular men, and if Bethany wanted to, could perhaps demand she only work with me.

I didn't believe that would actually work. I was still wrapping my head around the possibilities.

"I'll miss you," Sally whispered, my younger sister who'd just turned eighteen.

I hugged the three other women in my life. My father was no longer around, as he'd left my mother years ago and now lived in another city with his new family. Mum had a couple of sisters, who I was close to growing up, and I had a half dozen cousins I'd see during major events. As for Bethany, her parents and brother were seeing us off. Since I'd been with her for years, they loved me like a son, though I think her brother had grown to dislike me, thinking I was the one who convinced her to do this.

Greeted at LAX by someone from the film studio, he was friendly enough but, within ten minutes, he was completely ignoring me and badly flirting and hitting on Bethany. She saw through it, holding my hand the entire time. We were taken to a small apartment first, told we would be given a couple of days to acclimatise and recover from our jet-lag. If we wanted to sight-see, all we needed to do was call a number and someone would drive us about.

Driven to the film studio, it wasn't five-star glory, like a mega film studio, but the building was actually nicer than either of us expected, though they didn't own the building. We were led to an elevator, riding up to a mid-level floor. We were greeted by a couple of producers, and we already had a fair idea of what would happen.

Of course, they were mostly interested in Bethany. Led into a rather plush office, we were asked a few questions, and they showed that they'd been keeping an eye on our content profile for a little while Now that Bethan was in front of them, they wanted to see the goods. She was a little nervous but eventually ended up naked, and after moving to a nearby couch, they had her spread her legs, showing off her waxed pussy, asking her to masturbate.

"Is this okay with you, Mark?" Brian asked, the man who would decide on our future.

"Well, we're going to have sex on camera so masturbating in front of you isn't a big deal."

Watching Bethany masturbate was always arousing. Once she'd enjoyed a couple of orgasms, he turned to me and asked me to strip naked. Once I did, he looked me up and down, mostly focusing on my cock. Nodding what I figured was his approval, considering I was rock solid, he then asked if I'd be willing to fuck my girlfriend. I almost scoffed but happily sat down.

"Reverse cowgirl," he told us, "Our viewers will want to see Bethany in all her glory."

It wasn't an unusual position as it was something we often did ourselves. He wasn't telling us anything we didn't know. She rode me hard and fast, and my fingers worked her clit, getting her off again and again. He told me to hold back my cumshot as long as I could, and thankfully he allowed me a chance to break so we could switch position. I wasn't surprised he told me to pull out and cum on her, Bethany on her knees as she took a facial.

To my surprise, he sat us down and explained his idea. Bethany would start out as a nude model. With her petite looks, men would love to just look at photos of her, and now with a professional studio behind her, they'd improve her look. Once she had a following, I'd be occasionally introduced for more hardcore photos.

"Once you have a following, we'll start you in hardcore films," he explained, "I'm assuming you're here, hoping you will only be filmed with your boyfriend?" She nodded, and I had that feeling in my gut already. The smirk on his face almost had me wanting to wipe it off his face. "Sorry, but that just isn't the way things are done here, and you'll be hearing the same thing from any studio you visit. I'm assuming you're here to make a career for yourself?"

"Of course," Bethany replied.

"Then you two need to discuss your future as you, Bethany, are going to be a real star if you follow the right advice. My first piece? Get yourself an agent, someone to look after the pair of you. As for you, Mark, you're young, fit, and you have a great dick. Get this through your head. You won't match her stardom for a second, but I can tell you have a certain charisma. Women will love that shit. But you will have to learn a few things. If you remain together, you are second fiddle. Your girlfriend will be fucking other men and women. And the more she does on film, the better she'll be paid. Know what I mean?"

"I do," I replied, glancing at Bethany. She'd gone slightly pale, I think reality kicking in for both of us.

"Look at it this way. You're both young, fit and attractive. Many men and women would kill to have this possibility. Sign the right contact, get yourself the right agent, the world will be your oyster. I could list off a number of actors and actresses who started with us and went on to become absolute stars."

"I guess we have a lot to talk about," Bethany stated.

I knew she wasn't going to turn down the opportunity. She loved sex with me, and I knew she loved me, but ever since we'd started on this road, I knew she loved how men and women looked at her, whether she was naked or having sex. She had a high sex drive, that I thankfully matched, but I was left thinking she was going to enjoy making films in the end.

And I was now going to be little more than a passenger along for the ride. I was left wondering if our relationship would survive.

*****

Ever been on a porn set? I would assume most of you haven't. Be glad that you can't smell porn as, quite frankly, it's sometimes disgusting, particularly during the warmer months. Add no air-conditioning and it can be incredibly unpleasant. After nearly eight years in the industry, starting when I was twenty years old, I'm used to it, but seeing young men and women on a set the first couple of times is always amusing. And I'm talking a regular porn set. You add things like a lot of anal, group sex, gangbangs, BDSM, watersports, and god only knows what other fetishes, and quite frankly, I'm amazed some males manage to get hard naturally.

I'm sure you're wondering what happened to Bethany and I. Yeah, our relationship didn't survive. To be brutally honest, we never stood a chance once those contracts were signed. Her nude modelling career took off quickly, I was added for some hardcore photo shoots, before we ended up in our first film within six months of arriving. We made three films together before she was offered a contract worth a lot of money, the stipulation being she perform with other men and women. I couldn't stop her. If I did, she'd resent me and we wouldn't survive. I had no other option. I agreed and knew that was it. We'd go through the motions until one of us pulled the plug.

What surprised me is that, a month after she signed a contract, I was offered one as a male performer. I was worried I was going to be offered a gay for pay contract. But no, I apparently already had a following from a lot of women, while even some men liked to see me in films, thinking I had charisma and the studio thought I could provide some much needed intimacy to some of their films.

Within a few months, Bethany and I were sleeping in the same bed but that was about it, more roommates than lovers. It hadn't taken long before Bethany was starring in all sorts of films. I never watched them, but knew she'd moved on from what I'd call 'regular' porn. I knew she'd become a popular anal performer due to her petite size. She'd been in more than one threesome and fairly sure she'd been in a couple of group sex scenes as well. I'd seen scripts that she'd left lying around and knew she was getting involved in ever more hardcore films.