Santa's Naughty Aunts

The day after I learned that the woman blackmailing me was my Aunt Billie, and after Aunt Billie and I had wild and thrilling sex in a hotel room, and after Aunt Billie told me that I had to stop having sex with her and with my Aunt Jess...wow, that was a pretty busy day. Anyway, the NEXT day I called Aunt Jess and told her I needed to see her right away. "Why?" she said, suspicious.

"Because I need to see you."

"Why?"

Women, they just can't do what you ask. Although I'd promised to end the affair, Aunt Billie told me to give Aunt Jess a last, good-bye fuck. So I told the sexy woman on the line, "Because Santa Claus is very HARD."

She was knocking on my door twenty minutes later, and a minute later I had Aunt Jess in my living room, lying on the sofa in front of the Christmas tree, and Santa was sucking her nipples. "Mmm...ooh, Santa, what brought this on?" she sighed.

"Your tits," I said. "Your big, yummy tits." I spent a long time licking, sucking and nibbling at my aunt's teats, knowing that this would be the last time I would enjoy them. I spent maybe a little too long on them, because Aunt Jess moaned, "Santa, honey, my nipples are sore! Please, lick me lower!"

"Lower?"

"Lower!"

For the second time in 16 hours I performed cunnilingus on one of my aunts. My beard, my beard...my beard was going to need dry cleaning. I caressed her thighs with my gloved hands as I tongued and, uh, bearded my aunt's pussy. "Santa..." Aunt Jess moaned. "I want you to fuck me!"

"Well, it's almost Christmas..." I said, sitting up. I rolled Aunt Jess on her stomach and she rose up on her hands and knees. I handed her an extra pillow and she rested her arms on it. "Ooh, I like it this way, Santa," she said as I fumbled with my fly and pulled my erection through the hole.

"I want to look at that pretty tree while I enjoy this pretty lady!" I said.

"Which do you like better?" Aunt Jess barked.

"Santa likes a pretty tree," I said as I slowly penetrated her from behind, "but I think this pretty lady knows that Santa likes her much more!"

She arched her back as I slipped every inch of myself into her pussy. "Oh, yes," she hissed. "Grab my ass and FUCK me."

Santa was more than happy to oblige. I pistoned my cock in and out of her moist sheath, her cushy buttocks rippling as I screwed her from behind. Her big, heavy breasts swayed back and forth as I did her doggy-style, and I reached under her to fill my velvet-gloved hands with her globes.

She looked over her shoulder, her dark blue eyes blazing with lust. "Santa, you're the best, you're the best fuck I've ever had!" Under my beard my sexy aunt couldn't see the sadness on my face. This was going to be the last time, it HAD to be the last time, and I was going to miss making love with this sexy, crazy lady. As I fucked her I kneaded her big tits, tits I'd stared at and lusted for since I was in junior high, and I realized one last thing I wanted to do before I ended this most dangerous affair.

"Oh...oh...oh..." Aunt Jess panted. "Fuck me, fuck me with that big cock, fuck me Santa, fuck me!"

"Do you want to do something naughty, little girl?" I asked.

"What? Uh, ohh, this isn't naughty enough?"

"Noooo," I rumbled. "Santa has a very naughty idea indeed!"

"Not my ass, Santa!" Aunt Jess squealed. "You're too big!"

"Not your ass, young lady!" I kept fucking her fast and hard, wanting to satisfy her lusting for my thrusting before I indulged myself.

"Then whhhhhaaaaatttt?" she cried as my cock pounded her like a jackhammer.

I waited until she buried her face in the pillow, nearing exhaustion. I pulled my penis out of her pussy and she screamed, "What the fuck are you doing! Get back here!"

I ran to the bathroom, and it's hard to run in a Santa suit with Santa boots. I pulled open the cabinet and found what I was looking for. I returned with a bottle of aloe vera lotion and found a very irritated Aunt Jess waiting for me. "What the hell did you do that for, I..." she saw the bottle of lotion. "What's that for?"

I handed it to her as I pulled off my pants. "First, Santa wants to watch you give him a little handjob."

Aunt Jess liked that. "Oh, I get it. Santa wants to remember what it was like when he was a teenager and the most a girl would do was give him a little tug." I sat down on the couch and Aunt Jess sprayed a generous amount of lotion in her palm, and then she held the dispenser over my cock and dribbled lotion over the big, purple helmet.

"Ooh, that's cold," I said as the lotion oozed down my shaft.

"Well, let me warm you up." She put her palm on my cock and wrapped each long-nailed finger one-by-one around my cock. And then she started pumping. She started pumping my cock slowly, smiling mischievously at me as I started to groan with pleasure. "Doesn't that feel good, Santa?"

"Mmm, yes it does, little girl."

She laughed. "I guess I am a bad little girl, because giving a handjob doesn't seem so naughty to me. I've been giving handjobs to boys since I was in high school."

"Oh, that's very naughty."

"When my parents would be out I would invite two boys over that I liked and have them take their pants off and sit on the couch, and then I would jerk them off just like I'm doing right now. The boy who came first had to go home, and the other boy could stay and fuck me." She put both her hands on me. "Isn't that BAD?"

"Oh, oh, very bad, very bad indeed!"

"I've always been a bad little girl." She had both her hands wrapped around my cock and she caressed me from base to crown with every stroke. "Go ahead and come, Santa, I want to watch it spurt all over my hands."

"No..." I groaned.

"No?" she said.

"No, I...uh...UHH!" Her hands felt so good, I loved watching her nails, covered with fruity-smelling goo, slide up and down my dick. "I...I..."

She slowed a bit. "Out with it, Santa baby."

"I want to come...between your tits."

Aunt Jess smiled from ear to ear. "Oh, I like that. I totally LOVE that! I haven't been titty-fucked in years!" She lay back on the floor and fondled her huge breasts. "Come on, Santa, show me how naughty YOU are."

I tucked my knees in her armpits and squeezed lotion into her wide cleavage. She grabbed my cock and stroked me until my erection was hard enough to hammer nails with. She put her tits together and I slowly fed my cock inside that mighty cleft as though I was penetrating her pussy. She eased the tension just enough to let my penis slide allow the way inside her big loaves, and her lips formed a big, dark red O. "Santa, fuck me, fuck my titties."

Again I enjoyed this most unusual and exciting act, squatting over my aunt's chest and thrusting my cock in and out of her canyon. Lotion squished and squirted as I slid my length through her gully, and I loved how her big, slightly saggy juggs wiggled as I fucked them, as opposed to Aunt Billie's impossibly firm tits. It was this loose, wanton jiggling that excited me beyond belief, that made me snap my hips faster and faster in the lascivious grip of her breasts. "Oh, yes, yes!" I groaned as the time of my climax grew nigh. "Aunt Jess, Aunt Jess! I'm gonna come...you're gonna make me come with your tits!"

I buried my cock deep in those slick mounds and my ejaculation was so powerful that come sprayed all over her face, thick, white ropes of semen splattered over her forehead, cheeks, chin and lips, and she beamed with ecstasy and licked up as much as she could with her tongue. She was laughing even as I was moaning in a combination of rapture and despair. Rapture, because of the pleasure this woman gave me, and despair, because I would never enjoy her again.

I pulled my cock out of her cleavage, and found inside the same slimy trail I'd left behind with Aunt Billie. "Oh, baby, that was about the best ever," she said, smiling at me, her eyes glowing. "You are so delicious!"

It was hard to meet her eyes. "Wait here, I'll get a towel so you can clean up." I came back and she lay back and let me wipe up the fragrant mess between her breasts. She wiped the excess semen off her face and sat back on the couch with a huge smile. "We'll have to do that again!"

I left to throw the towel in the laundry, and while I was there I stripped out of the Santa suit. I came back wearing just a pair of grey shorts and found Aunt Jess lounging on my couch, puffing away at a cigarette. I sat next to her and she tickled my thigh with her nails. "Do you know what really excited me?" she said. "When you called out my name when you came. You've never lost control like that when you're playing Santa. That was nice."

Well, here we go. "Well, I did get excited, more so than normal, because...that was the last time we're going to make love."

At first it was as though she hadn't heard me, she just sat there with a smile on her face. She sat there a long time, and then she noticed that the ash on her cigarette was about to fall on the sofa. She tapped it on the dish she was using as an ashtray and took a long drag. "What do you mean?" she asked quietly.

I told her that I'd actually met the blackmailer the night before, and that she threatened to tell my mother if I didn't end the affair with her. Aunt Jess sat there smoking as I told her the story, and when she stubbed out the cigarette she said, "Who was it?"

"I can't say, I was ordered not to."

"Did you fuck this woman?"

I decided not to lie. "Yes, she insisted. Afterwards is when she told me not to see you anymore."

"It was that bitch Billie, wasn't it!" Aunt Jess screamed. "She wants you for herself, she can't stand that I have something she doesn't! That fucking cunt bitch...that's why you wanted to fuck my tits, isn't it! Because you did it with her last night and it turned you on, fucking those big plastic balloons!"

I thought she was going to hit me. "I'm not going to deny or confirm who it is..." I said.

"You don't have to! I know who it is!"

I continued, "...but I'm not going to have sex with that person ever again, either. I promise you that."

"Oh, and I can trust you?" she sneered. "And trust that bitch too?"

"You can," I said. "Look, it was her, OK?" Rage filled my aunt's pretty face. "I think one of the reasons she had sex with me was so you would have something on her too, it would mean she couldn't tell on you without you telling on her."

"Yeah, so what?"

"This way everything is even, neither of you has an advantage. Neither would have any reason to tell on the other...unless my affair with one of you continued. So, I'm not going to see either of you any more." I looked her in the eye. "And as much as I adore you, and as fantastic as sex with you is every time we're together, I want to end it. It's just too big a risk, and I'm tired of being afraid of hurting my mother." I put my hand on her knee. "Please, for me, don't make this harder than it already is."

A few tears fell down her cheek. "I'll never forgive her for what she did," Aunt Jess said. "She called me fat, and ugly."

"You aren't either of those things, and you know it. I told her I was very angry with her about that, and she apologized. I'll make her apologize to you personally." She still looked furious and I said, "Can I tell you one thing?" She shrugged. "Aunt Billie told me to have sex with you one more time, because she would feel guilty if we didn't have one last fling after she and I did it. She doesn't want you and her to be arch-enemies. She just doesn't want us having sex anymore. And, I think she's right."

"It was none of her fucking business," Aunt Jess said, and got to her feet. She dressed in silence, but she let me walk her to the door. "Will I see you Christmas Day?" I asked.

"Of course," my aunt said. She kissed me on the cheek. "Good bye, Timmy."

I watched her drive away, the relief like a drug to my over-stimulated nervous system. I hoped she would be OK, and I was pretty sure she would be. I hoped I would be OK, and I was less sure. A long, hot shower would help, I thought, and I headed off for the bathroom.

*****

Somehow I survived to Christmas. My thighs were black and blue from having thousands of kids dropped on my lap, and my patience was worn to a thread by too many traffic jams and long lines at the mall. But Christmas Eve I had a nice time with the relative on my father's side of the family, and then Christmas Day all my mother's relatives came to the house for dinner.

I was dreading it. Aunt Jess and Aunt Billie in the same room, with cutlery nearby...the mind boggled. I kept imagining the last act of "Hamlet", bodies lying everywhere, blood on the walls. I got to my parents house early and I had two glasses of wine in me before anyone else showed up.

Aunt Billie and Uncle Carl came first, Billie in a dark green blouse and black miniskirt, looking so luscious I wanted to crack my head against the wall. And then Aunt Jess and Uncle Don arrived, Jess wearing a white turtleneck that showed off the breasts I had enjoyed so completely. I poured another glass of wine, took a big sip, and went to greet my aunts.

"Hi, Timmy," Aunt Billie said, and kissed me on the cheek, and when I said hello to Aunt Jess I got the same treatment. So did their other nieces and nephews, I saw, and I felt a little pang of jealousy. Shouldn't I have gotten a greeting with a bit more, um, oomph? Then again, what did I expect, a quick blowjob on the kitchen table?

Everyone had a good time, the food was great, the wine liberally dispensed. My aunts seemed to get along very well, chatting away and laughing quite a bit. But I did notice a bit of a chill between my aunts and their husbands, nothing overt, but I certainly picked up on it. It made me nervous. What was the problem, and was the problem sitting in my chair.

We exchanged grab bag gifts. My father got Aunt Billie a gift certificate for a trip to a local spa, a gift she totally loved, and I watched my father blush with embarrassment, not arousal, as she gave him a big hug and a kiss. Uncle Carl liked the round of golf I got him, excited about playing at the new course that had just opened in our area. And then it was time to open the gift Aunt Billie got me. It came in an envelope, and I tore it open and looked inside. All I found was a piece of paper, and when I pulled it out I froze. The printing was sloppy and childish, and written in red crayon.

It said, "I gave you your gift in the hotel room, remember? I thought you'd enjoy fucking me more than a Borders gift certificate."

I shoved the paper back in the envelope and looked around. Fortunately everyone was opening their gifts too, and no one saw me examining the paper. Except for Aunt Billie...and Aunt Jess, who were both looking at me with barely-contained smirks.

"What did Aunt Billie give you, honey?" Mom asked.

The fuck of a lifetime? "Um, ah, um, a gift certificate to Borders," I stuttered.

"Oh, that's always a great gift for you!" Mom said, doing her best to add to the Christmas cheer, and Aunt Billie mouthed the words, "Nice job". Aunt Jess was grinning too.

I found a quiet moment to thank Aunt Billie for her "gift". "I thought you wanted to make sure my mom didn't find out about, um, what I've been up to."

"Well, we don't, but we couldn't resist fooling with you a little bit."

"We?"

"Your Aunt Jess and me."

"Wait, the two of you aren't plotting on how to kill each other?"

"Of course not. We've been spending a lot of time together lately."

"You have? Wait, I'm confused, I..."

"Oh, it's not about you! It's something else...I really don't want to get into it." For the first time I saw her look unhappy, and I said, "If there's anything I can do to help."

"Thanks, honey. But I'll be fine."

I talked to Aunt Jess a bit later in the evening, and heard much the same story. "Billie was right, and so were you," she said. "We had lots of fun, but it was too crazy, even for me."

"I'm glad you two are getting along so well."

"Well, we have a lot to talk about these days," she said mysteriously, but when I asked what she meant, she just laughed and said it was nothing. I got the impression it was SOMETHING, but perhaps I had to concede it was none of my business.

The party ended, I said my goodbyes, and headed home. I got a big box out of my closet and put the Santa suit away for another year. "And maybe forever," I said aloud. "I've done my duty, maybe it's time for someone else to pick up the torch." I put the box away, and headed off to bed.

*****

A week before Valentine's Day I came home seriously dragging my heels. Valentine's Day stresses me in a different way than Christmas. Christmas I have to go out and buy gifts, Valentine's Day I WANT to go out and buy gifts, for that special girl who fills my life with sweetness and music. Trouble was, I didn't have a girl in my life like that. I was girlfriendless, and with my seductive aunts strictly forbidden I was intercourseless as well. So I got a beer out of the fridge, took a long pull, and only then saw the flashing light on my answering machine.

It was Mom. "Honey, give me a call, I have some...bad news." She didn't sound despondent, like someone had died, but it sounded pretty bad. I called and ten seconds later my mother was saying, "Well, honey, Uncle Don and Aunt Jess are getting divorced."

It was like a right cross to the jaw. "Whoa, wha...what happened?" I had an idea of what happened-Uncle Don had somehow found out that I was boning his wife.

And then Mom said. "That's not all. Uncle Carl and Aunt Billie are splitting up too."

Left hook to the breadbasket. "Whoooooa. Both of them? Why? Why?"

"I really don't know, honey, it's not really any of our business." Which was bull, Mom knew what had happened. None of the four people involved were especially close-lipped. But I didn't push Mom, I told her how sorry I was, how bad I felt, and I said my goodbyes. Twenty minutes later I called the same number I did before, but this time it was my Dad who answered.

"So what the hell happened with the two happy couples?" I asked.

Dad, who pretty much can't stand his brothers-in-law, was more than happy to spill the beans. "They were cheating on them."

If my father had been sitting in front of me I would've put my hands on his throat. "Pronouns, Dad, pronouns! Who was cheating on who?"

Dad spoke as if it was a stupid question. "Don and Carl were cheating, what did you think?"

It felt like an elephant wearing golf spikes had just stepped off my chest. "What happened?"

"Don was sleeping with his secretary and Jess found out."

"Ouch," I winced. I could well imagine Aunt Jess in a jealous fury-it would not be a pretty sight. "What about Uncle Carl?"

"He was sleeping with Don's secretary too."

"I...wait, he was what?"

"You heard me. They were both fooling around with her, and apparently with one of her friends. Billie found out, and she and Jess tracked them all down to some hotel they were staying at, and, well, they got busted."

I imagined the scene, Aunt Jess and Aunt Billie together, in full fury. I shuddered. "I'm surprised they're still alive."

"When the lawyers get through with them they'll wish they weren't."

I thanked Dad for the info, took a satisfying swig, and I called a number I used to know well. "Hello," said a sharp, angry voice.

"Aunt Jess? It's Tim."

"Oh, Timmy," she sighed. "I guess you've heard."

"I did. I'm sorry."

"I'm not. That lying, cheating, skirt-chasing bastard, shacking up with some 21-year-old slut. As if I don't know how to please a man in bed...well, YOU know that as well as anyone."

I conceded that I did. I found it interesting that for two years my aunt had been cheating on her husband with his own nephew, but not so interesting that I wanted to bring it up. I like breathing. "I'm guess I'm a bit surprised you and Aunt Billie worked together to catch them."