I'm going to tell you this. I'm going to tell you all of it. This is my story. My sister's and mine.
At 21, I was well aware that I knew very little about how life really worked. I spent my time in school and various jobs where I consistently managed to get myself fired after no more than three months. I had read a great many books, so I knew a cursory amount of what writers wished to tell me. I watched TV, and so I had a rudimentary and oft times melodramatic sense of relationships and the human condition. Five years older and I can see this as clearly as I did then.
I tell this to illustrate that I was well aware that I was by no means perfect or even all that far ahead of the game. Ironically, this led me to believe that I was far superior to most people my age. However, I was, and still am, also heavy with problems that, while of my own creation, nevertheless sat me in hot water day after day.
As with most things between my sister and me, this all started with an argument. From the time we could reason, and therefore choose to abandon reason, we have argued and fought over everything. Was I the instigator in most of these arguments? Surely.
We had been fighting for seven hours straight. It was a new record. I had forgotten what the original point was from early in the afternoon, but it didn't matter as our arguments cascaded from one contention to another. We ended up arguing about CD's. Hers and mine. We had everything piled in a mammoth stack on her bed and were separating them. I will mention that she had fully six CD's more of mine than I had of hers.
This began a new argument about boundaries. My room and her room. I forbade her to come in my room and she did the same. I came at her with some unfortunate words. Beth snapped her mouth shut as though she'd been slapped. She then punched me in the arm. It was entirely laughable.
Beth is of average size. She watched her diet, exercised regularly, and as a result, was quite fit. Nevertheless, she's a girl. Say what you will. She's a girl. I have always been much bigger than she was. However, to say I am a big beast of a guy is a bit inaccurate. I'm the smart one when I'm out with friends, and I'm the one the girls all like. But I'm not a bruiser.
"Keep it up," I told her. "Keep it up and I'll give it right back." The thing was, she looked sorry. I couldn't figure it. We engaged in hellacious arguments, and she gave as good as she got. However, afterward, she always looked sorry.
But that time, as sorry as she was, she was amped up. After seven hours of abuse, she snapped. She threw her little fist out and I moved, just in time. I snatched her up in my arms holding her still.
"Let go!" She squirmed, kicked, and thrashed her head trying to pull free. Her arms were trapped at her sides and her sweet breath was panting hot onto my face.
"Not until you calm down."
"I'll scream," she said flatly. Her bare feet dangled a few inches off the floor.
"You gonna hit me?"
"No." Such a liar. I could see it in her eyes.
"You're just a little child Bethany."
"Don't call me that."
"Little Bethany getting angry?" I squeezed her tighter. It's amazing the pain one will inflict on a sibling that one would never inflict upon another person, let alone a girl.
"Ahh! Stop it!"
"You gonna hit me?"
"Let go!" Our house had a strangely intense kind of soundproofing from floor to floor. Put our rooms on the other side of the house in addition to the entire foot of floor, insulation, and the ceiling below us and we may as well have lived in the next state.
"Matt!" she cried in frustration, trying to get free.
"You gonna hit me?" I squeezed harder. "What's the matter?" I shook her a little.
"Let..." she struggled, shaking against me, "...go!
"No."
"Matt!" she screamed right at me. Opened her mouth and just unloaded. We were both breathing hard. Her breasts pressed tight against me. Her body was warm and suddenly the most interesting thing in the room.
We were both heaving and breathing hard. She seemed to relax a little. Less defensive. Her green eyes were wide and blazing.
I leaned in a bit and inhaled slowly. I could smell the sweat on her skin. Salty. She pulled back sharply and surprised. I looked at her. Her short brown hair was wild and tangled on top. Her face was flushed. She breathed through her nose and I could feel the warm air hit my neck in short bursts.
I never realized that women could smell so exciting. That I was keyed-up and holding her that tight didn't help. I kissed her neck. Tasted her. She lifted her head and said nothing. I wondered how long I'd wanted that.
I moved up to her jaw, so smooth and warm. Her lips tasted like peaches. We were kissing. I didn't remember putting her down, but we were on her bed, touching each other and trying our best to suck out each other's tongues.
I never thought about how wrong it was. I was pulling her shirt over her head, squeezing her tits and running my hands over her firm little body. The minutes ran together. Her hands were under my shirt, running over my chest and stomach.
I popped the button on her jeans trying to get them off. She scrambled back up the mattress, knocking the CD's to the floor. She kicked her legs trying to pull her feet out of the tight denim.
She was pulling the small red panties down her hips and over her legs as I frantically pulled off my clothes. Any qualms we may have had were lost in the frenzy of lust and heated excitement.
Her eyes never left mine. My cock sprang up as I threw off my shorts. I crawled up the bed, pushing her legs open. She laid back and grabbed the sheets in her fingers.
I pushed inside her, making both of us groan and pant even harder. She wasn't a virgin but she was tight as could be. I wanted to ask her whom she had fucked. All I could do was fuck in and out of her. There was nothing sweet about it. She was loud and bucked against me, and I leaned over her like a madman, fucking my sister.
The thing was, all we could do was look each other in the eyes. If we looked away, it would have been over. I stared into her bright green eyes, watching her pupils expand in the dim light and in her arousal, and I fucked her until I was grinding my teeth as a shaking orgasm racked through me, coming right up from my God damned toes. She was holding onto me and coming down from her own. I felt the first spurt rising up my dick and she bit her lip, almost whining as I pulled out and shot the rest of it onto her, sending stripes of cum all over her chest and belly. I didn't want to be inside her.
She took a deep breath and laid back, her hips still moved as her legs stretched out flat.
We finally looked away. This was as bad as a thing got. This was something that couldn't happen. This was the worst kind of thing.
She slid her legs around me, as I sat there with my hands on my knees catching my breath. Beth moved carefully, trying not to let my cum slide off her tight body. It pooled in the small creases as she bent forward. Her small breasts were almost pointed. A young woman, and she had breasts like a 14 year-old. All I could see was bright white cum, like rushed graffiti on her lightly tanned skin.
She looked uncertain. Her eyes flicked to mine and then down in shame as she walked carefully to her bathroom. I crawled back off her bed, twisting the comforter with my knees as I moved backwards. I felt a few drops of cum dribble to my thighs as I went to my room, stopping only to grab my clothes.
I locked the door behind me, looking for something to clean off with. There was a gurgling from the sink in the small half-bath off the back of my room. She was done with the water. I pissed, not quite enjoying the familiar post-fuck urination I usually enjoyed.
Drying off with a dirty hand towel, I climbed into bed and shut off the light.
"Matt? Matthew?" She was at my door, knocking lightly. Tapping, really. I ignored her.
"Matt?" She was still there. Whispering. She'd been screaming at me 30 minutes earlier, but suddenly she was whispering. I turned on my stereo. Played the CD in the tray. It was the one that made me think of the CD I couldn't find. The one that started the whole thing about getting my CD's back from her room.
It was kind of a stupid disc. But I wanted to play it loud. I pressed the top button on my remote, watching the blue display show the climbing volume number.
"Matt?" I could still hear her. Louder. I think she kept knocking. She might have been crying, but I really couldn't tell. I fell asleep when the CD was on it's second repeat.
* * * * *
The next day, waking up to that stupid CD, I staggered into my bathroom and pissed away an unusually rock-hard morning erection.
I turned off the CD and heard the hiss of air coming from the speakers. I pulled on clothes that I'd only worn for one day. They were fine.
It was Saturday and I was up earlier than usual. Beth had been up first. She and my mom were sitting at the table eating cereal with far too many different kinds of diced fruit on top. Mom was reading the paper and Beth was barely reading a magazine she'd gotten in the mail the day before. She had her body hunkered down under a big sweatshirt. Her bare legs were tight together.
"Morning, honey."
