Thanks to Saffron, breakfast on Saturday morning was a rather interesting event.
"You should've heard Sam singing last night at that sorority party, Dad, he hit the notes so high that you would've thought somebody had him by the scrotum."
Mom looked at saffron with a deadly luck and said, "Watch your mouth young lady."
"It's true mom, you should've heard him singing like Barry Gibb on the two Bee Gees' songs they did, they had everybody dancing like crazy."
"And that's not all, guess who he's taking to the movies tonight. You won't believe it."
Mom asked, "Okay son, who are you taking to the movies tonight?"
"Barbara Frankel, mom."
"Don't you think she's a little old for you, Sam?"
My dad looked at me with wonder and said, "Jesus, I said that that sorority would be a target rich environment, son, but did you have to shoot for Mars on your first attempt?"
Saffron said, "Can you blame him mom, she has an ass to die for, how can he let that opportunity go by?"
"Young lady watch your language."
"Oh come on mom, you can't tell me you haven't noticed it. Barb's so beautiful that if she was walking in a group of 20 women her age, her ass is the one that everyone would be keying in on."
"I still don't think it's polite to talk like that about your friend and in front of Sammy too."
"Come on mom, it's not like Sammy is a virgin or anything. He's 18 years old."
"Sammy is that true, are you sexually active."
Dad came to my rescue, saying, " Come on dear he's 18 years old, he's a teenager, did you really think he was gone stay celibate forever? I expected him to make a move on some woman before this, but never Barbara Frankel. She's four years older than you, son. Just don't get yourself hurt."
"I'm just going to take her to the movies, I didn't say I was going to marry her, geez."
My mom said, "Just be careful son, she's a woman, not some teenage bimbo. Just make sure you use protection."
Saffron said, "Don't worry mom, I'll look out for him."
"Why does that not make me feel at ease, " Which got a nasty looks from Saffron.
***********
When I went over to Gerald's house for video games that afternoon, he was all over me as soon as I walked in the door. "Dude, Barbara Frankel, man talk about hitting a homerun. And Charlie too, tell me what happened you got bro? Wow. Man I give my left nut, for either one of those, babes."
"I can't explain it, Gerald, it just happened. Besides, how do you know about it? "
"I have eyes don't I and the way Charlie was looking at you all during our sets and then grabbed you and pulled you into that bedroom and come out with a rather she is eating grin on her face."
"And when you were dancing with Barb, she was grinding you all over the place. I would've cum in my pants if she had done that to me. How'd you control yourself?"
"Mind over matter, buddy, mind over matter."
"You are definitely the MAN."
"Did you ever do any good last night Gerald?"
"No man, I've given up on women, they're a bunch of snakes."
"With that kind of an attitude, you'll never get laid."
"How do you know I already haven't been laid?"
"I'd have noticed a difference, you're my best friend."
"Well maybe you're not as observant as you think you are."
"Well let me know if it happens, we'll celebrate, buddy."
"Yeah it'll be a world event."
***********
As I got ready for my date, I was a very nervous boy. Saffron came in and asked me if I was ready for the big event. I just said, "I think it's pretty bad, that I know how to fuck, but do not know how to date."
"Just be yourself, Sammy, you're a gentleman and have always treated people with respect. You just do that with Barb and you won't have any problem at all. Are you picking her up at her apartment or meeting her someplace?"
"I'm picking her up, this is a formal date."
"Just watch out for her roommate, Roxanne, she's kind of a first-class bitch."
That just added to my nervousness. I went out and got into my car to drive over to Barb's apartment. As I pulled up I noticed the lavishness of the apartment complex and realized I was definitely stepping up in class. I got out my car, walked up the front door and knocked. A very attractive and well built blonde opened the door and said, "I'm sorry, we don't want anything little boy."
I replied rather nervously, "I ... I' m Sam Sanderson, I'm here to pick up Barb."
She yelled rather loudly, "Barbara, I think your little brother' s here to see you."
I heard Barbara's voice from upstairs saying, "Stop busting his balls Roxanne and let him in."
"Boy, she's really robbing the cradle this time."
I had had enough of this and just said, "Why not, it looks like she already robbed the asylum for her roommate."
"Oh, a feisty one this time."
"Look, I'm not willing to give up the two brain cells it would take to sit here and have a battle of wits with you. I want to have a good night and I'm not going to let you ruin it for me. You know, I've heard about you."
"Oh, am I famous, what did you hear about me?"