I woke up at very late in the afternoon. For a while, I laid in bed, my head too painful to move. My mouth was dry and there was a sticky film on my lips. Eventually, what I took to be either pangs of hunger or waves of nausea prompted me to get up and get a shower. After drying myself off and selecting the most casual clothes I had, I ventured out of my room and made my way through my parents' house.
Their house, typical of my family, was in fact a huge mansion that sat on some 200 acres of rural New York land. It was, mostly, to my benefit that I had grown up in such an economically superior family. My great-grandfather had, in his youth, made several investments which proved wised and insured that future generations of his clan would live very comfortably. The house that I had woken up in was the place where I grew up and when my grandfather died, became the legal property of my father. Although my sister and myself had since moved on, we had recently returned to the estate to attend our mother's annual benefit for the Metropolitan Opera Company. While I never looked forward to these parties as long as I can remember, this year proved particularly... distressing.
And so that morning, sporting a wicked hangover, I made my way down the servants' stairway into the kitchen where, to my relief, no one was. I piled as much food as I could on top of a large serving plate, grabbed a bottle of orange juice, an extra large bottle of Aspirin and heading to one of the numerous terraces overlooking our land.
As luck would have it, I picked the one spot that was actually inhabited but before I could slip away I was noticed.
"Ah, Jonathan, there you are. " It was my mother, looking as happy as I had ever seen her. No doubt her benefit had gone well.
"Hey mom. " I groaned. I tried to think of an excuse to get away.
"Sit down! " She said forcefully. " I lost track of you pretty early last night. I know you don't like the Benefit but you could have stayed a little longer. "
With a mouthful of food I answered. " Well, I became, err, engaged. "
"Hmmm, yes, well by the looks of you I think I know what happened. I mean, I would expect that kind of behavior from your father... "
Upon the mention of my father, I jumped.
"John, what's the matter? "
"Umm, nothing, Mom. Food went down the wrong pipe. " In fact, there was something seriously wrong. I sat quietly and ate, trying desperately not to look my mother square in the face.
However, my mother, among her many talents, could always tell when something was amiss. " Seriously John, you don't look good. What is wrong? "
"Nothing. "
"Are you sure? What happened? "
"Nothing. "
She turned in her chair to face me. I knew I was going to have a hard time escaping her.
"John, honestly, what's the matter? "
"Nothing! " I realized I shouting and tense. This was only going to make matters worse. " I just, had to much too drink last night. I'm not used to that Champagne... strong stuff "
Mom wasn't buying it at all but she backed off anyway. I continued to eat and then quietly excused myself.
Later that night, after spending hours hold up in my room, I was told to come downstairs for dinner by one of our maids. Reluctantly, I went to the dining room where I found my mother sitting alone at the table, various covered dishes sitting in front of her.
What she told me made me cringe again and instantly put me into a fouler mood.
"Your father and sister went out tonight. He wanted to show her something at the club. "
I did nothing but shrug my shoulders and dip my spoon into a bowl of potato soup. Mother and I got through two courses without saying a word. Yes, the situation was tense but I was in no mood to talk.
Finally, my mother broke the silence. " Look John. I know you and I know when something is wrong so either you tell me or at least act like everything is alright. "
I pushed around some spring beans on my plate while a fierce debate raged in my head. Should I tell her? I finally decided to broach the subject gently.
"Dad and Julia certainly spend a lot of time together.. " I waited to see how my mother would react. Nothing. " I mean, I don't remember them ever being... close. "
The last word certainly did something to my mother. While she never let anything openly shock her, she did have this habit where she would pick an object, in this case a wine glass, and play with it.
"Well, they've got a lot in common now. With your sister in investments and such. I just think you father has taken an interest in her, that's all.. " She replied without taking her eyes away from the glass.
"Yea, but, I've never known them to be so involved in, um, with one another. I just think it's strange that's all.. "
She pushed her plate away from here and settle in the chair. On cue, our maid, Sarah, entered the room.
"Sarah, when you're done clearing the things, can you get me that bottle of Port that Howellstone gave us? Thanks. " My mom drinking anything the least bit stronger than wine was not a good sign.
I too accepted a glass of the Port and Sarah left us alone. I now wondered how much my mother knew.
"Well, I saw something strange. I was pretty tipsy at the time, but still.... " Confidence was growing in me. " I went to Dad's garage and I saw Dad with Julia. "
Mom poured herself another glass.
"But, they were, well, they were together. "
An obviously fake smile appeared on my mother's face and she feigned ignorance. " Together, why what's that suppose to mean? "
I was certain what she knew I had to say but I decided to say it anyway. I took a deep breath. " They were having sex. "
I expected my mother too do something rash, like get up and run away screaming or throw her glass. Instead, she got up and retrieved a cigarette from a silver case that sat atop a side board. I sort of felt, well, bad. It was plain that this really disturbed her, as it should and as it disturbed me.
She lit the cigarette and returned to the table. I could see the wheels turning behind her eyes. " Look, you know your father and I have not had the best relationship. Let me finish. When we got married we were in love but soon it all went away. However, our marriage was much more than a relationship: with all the money involved it was, um, as business deal. We couldn't get out of it. "
"Yes, but... " I tried to interrupt but mom continued. " A long time ago, after you and your sister were born we had an arrangement. What I would do with whom I chose was my business and likewise with you father. That's it. "
That I understand. While my parents lived in the same house, they had separate bedrooms and I always knew why. Still, it didn't really explain, nor justify, what I had seen the previous night. " But mom, Julia and Dad? "
She pursed her lips and stared intently at the wall. " That happened only recently. "
"So you knew? " I asked at the edge of my seat.
"Four years ago, I came home and, let me be blunt, your sister, well, was on top of your dad. It hurt me for so many reasons but like I said, it would just be too complicated to do anything about it. Plus, you know how people gossip, it's better if it's left alone. "
I rose out of my chair angry. " But it's wrong! "
She simply shrugged her shoulders. " Dear, there are so many things wrong with our family, this is least of it, believe me. "
I shrank back into my seat, unable to comment. Unable to really think. Eventually, my mom left the room and I was left to wallow in the revelations that had just unfolded before me.
It was Sarah clearing the table that snapped me out of my stupor. I dragged my numb body to my room and lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. After some time, my feelings had subsided or at least, I was able to think clearly. I desperately wanted to talk to my mother again. And so I crept through the house until at last I reached her suite. I knocked on the door.
"Who is it? " She called.
"It's me, John "
The door swung open and my mom stood there in a robe closed tightly between her fists.
"I need to talk. "
"Well, alright, hold on... "
I didn't even think, I just pushed past her and sat on her bed. She closed the door and a worried, somewhat startled expression was painted on her face.