I was sitting in the kitchen making my way through a bowl of cereal while mom stood at the sink cleaning up the breakfast dishes from where everyone else had already eaten. I enjoyed sleeping in way more than anyone else in my family and summer vacation let me get away with it. It was probably closer to lunchtime than breakfast really, but I liked my cereal. Right around the time I was almost finished Chris and Amy, my older brother and sister, came in dressed like they were going to the beach.
"Where you going?" I asked them.
"The beach," Chris said, exactly as I suspected.
"Cool, can I come?"
They exchanged a glance and I knew them well enough to see they didn't really want me along. I felt a little hurt even if it was the sort of thing I should have been used to. Being twins and a couple years older than me they had always been closer to each other than me. Now that they were both off to university I didn't even get to see them that much and I tried to spend time with them when I could. Maybe I was being too clingy or something.
"That's okay, I'll find something else to do," I said without giving them a chance to speak, trying not to sound upset.
Unfortunately mom was still right there and she wasn't about to let it drop that easily.
"Oh go on, take your little sister with you. She's not going to hurt anything," she said.
"Moooom," I protested, both at her getting involved and referring to me as their little sister. I was the baby of the family and everything, but at eighteen I was getting a bit tired of having it pointed out.
Another shared look between my siblings, more silent communication.
"You can come if you want Jess," Amy said. "Better hurry up though."
There was still a tension in the decision and it was with a certain amount of trepidation that I put on my swimsuit under a loose t-shirt and shorts and joined them at the car.
"You guys don't have to take me, you can just drop me off somewhere," I said from the back seat as we drove. "I didn't mean to get in the way."
"You aren't in the way," Chris said, somewhat surprisingly since he seemed to be more against me coming than Amy. "We don't mind you coming with us, it's just...."
"We're not going to a regular beach," Amy finished for him.
"What do you mean, like no sand or something?" I asked, not having any idea what they were talking about.
"No no, I mean it's... I guess 'clothing optional' is what they call it."
I sat in stunned silence for a moment, unable to fully process that thought.
"So it's really up to you if you still want to come or not," I heard Amy through my daze. "We understand if it's not your thing."
No, it wasn't my thing. I'd never even really thought about going to a nude beach. Since when was it Chris and Amy's thing though?
"You guys have gone before?" I asked.
"Yeah, a couple times," Amy said. "Honestly it's pretty fun, even if it seems weird going with us."
As far as I could tell from his body language Chris might have been as uncomfortable with me being there as I was about the whole idea. He obviously didn't have a problem going with Amy though, once again their closeness was shoved in my face and was probably responsible for my surge of defiance.
"I guess I'll still go," I said.
What was the worst that could happen right?
It was a longer drive than I was expecting, or seemed that way at least. My sense of time was not taking priority in my head. There were some people already there when we arrived but not exactly the usual crowd I would have expected at a beach on a sunny day like it was. The somewhat secluded location might have helped with that and I wondered how my older siblings had come across it.
I followed a couple steps behind Amy and Chris, trying not to look around too much as they made their way up the beach where it turned out to be less and less populated. Contrary to what I had expected, not everyone had completely shed their clothes. Some of the women just went topless and plenty of people would have fit in just fine at a normal beach. I felt a certain amount of relief that at least I wasn't the only one hesitant about the idea of being naked around strangers.
We finally stopped when we got past a couple low sand dunes that blocked off the area we had just been from view. Whether the privacy was for my benefit or not I didn't know, but I appreciated it anyway.
"So what do you think? Jess... hey."
Amy waved her hand in front of my face and I realized I had been obsessing on my thoughts again.
"Think about what, this place? I dunno, it's not really what I was expecting in some ways."
She smiled and pulled her shirt over her head, undressing right in front of me even as Chris did the same.
"You can leave your suit on if you want, some people do," Amy said as if reading my mind. "We aren't going to though."
I wasn't sure where to look and settled for awkwardly staring out at the horizon until they had both undressed. Without waiting for me, possibly so as not to press the issue, they headed out into the water leaving me still standing indecisively in the sand.
I could have just followed along, it was simple enough in theory, but I held reservations about that course of action. If it was only Amy and me it wouldn't have been a big deal, or not to quite the same extent anyway. Mostly I was nervous about the reaction I would get from Chris. If only I could have known what he was thinking it would have made things so much easier on me.
When all else fails, let chance decide. It wasn't the best decision making process I admit, but it had worked for me at times in the past. If Amy went fully underwater first, I would keep my swimsuit on. If Chris was first then....
It was biased toward the safe side, I couldn't help myself from that. I knew Chris was more likely to shrug off the cold of the water before Amy and save me from my bet with myself. I remembered all the times at the beach when we were younger he would already be swimming around while Any and I were still girlishly working our way in.
Then my hopes were dashed as the two of them exchanged unheard words and Chris grabbed Amy around the waist. I watched helplessly as he threw her into the deeper water, making her shriek loud enough that I actually could hear her this time. So much for luck.
Since no one was actually around watching me the undressing process wasn't that bad. I even found myself developing a sort of nervous excitement about stripping in a semi-public location, like I was getting away with something bad and could be caught at any moment.
The fact was I really could be caught and I glanced up the beach to make sure there was still no one else in sight. I could just stay where I was for a while and get used to the sensation of being so vulnerable while I was still in easy range of my clothes and towel. Or I could stop being such a wuss and just go join my siblings in the water. They certainly hadn't shown any hesitation and maybe I should take a cue from that. After all, rationally speaking, any taboos regarding nudity were purely artificial even if they had become so ingrained in our society that most people never questioned them.
With a deep breath I took a tentative step forward, then another. Somewhere in the back of my mind I guess I expected an invisible force to stop me somehow or make me come to my senses, but nothing of the sort occurred. Before long my feet hit the very edge of the water line and I was at the point where turning back would save me any embarrassment. Amy had turned toward me and appeared to be swimming slowly in my direction while calling out something to Chris.
I continued forward more boldly than I felt, seeking what little protection the deeper water held for me. Soon I was within easy talking distance of my brother and sister.
"So you did it after all," Amy said. "Guess you win Chris."
"Wait, did you guys bet on me?" I asked disbelievingly.
"Yeah, sorry." She at least looked genuinely apologetic, if not overly so. "If it makes you feel any better I wasn't really betting against you, I just wanted to make things interesting. Should have known better than that. Anyway, I owe you later Chris."
Amy dove backward away from us, leaving Chris and me floating awkwardly together.
"So you thought I would do it huh," I said.
"You can be... very determined when you want to be."
My chest was only just barely beneath the surface of the water as I crouched slightly, still fairly visible. In other circumstances I might have found it funny how my brother's gaze kept flicking around my partly concealed breasts and then away to some imaginary object behind my shoulder. Maybe that was the sort of thing that would go away once we got comfortable with each other.
"It's a little weird for you having me here isn't it?" I said.
"It's not... okay it is a little," he admitted. "But it's just because, well, you're my baby sister you know? I'm not used to thinking about you differently from that."
Meaning that he was seeing me as something other than his sister. In spite of myself I had a hard time keeping a smile off my face. It may have been a subtle, buried compliment but combined with his difficulty keeping his eyes of my boobs he had to be feeling a certain attraction to me. As much as it did nothing to help our mutual awkwardness, getting a reaction out of my own brother was wonderful for my self-esteem.
"Geez, are you two still talking?" Amy said, having circled around and swam up behind me. "You can do that anywhere, let's have some fun while we're here."
She pushed me playfully to the side and as I moved my leg to regain my balance it was blocked by hers. Getting tripped while mostly submerged in water was not a big deal, I could have simply swam away if I wanted. Instead my old instincts kicked in and I allowed myself to sink beneath the surface down to the sand. After giving my eyes a few seconds to adjust I located my sister and grabbed her ankles as I stood up.
I don't think she was expecting retaliation so quickly because she went down easily, her upper body forced underwater as I held her feet up in the air. Back when we were younger I rarely got one up on either of my siblings since I was too much smaller than them and just couldn't compete strength-wise.
After a moment I let go and quickly backed away. Amy came up sputtering but with a wide grin on her face.
"You little sneak," she accused me.
"You started it," I shot back.
Amy chased me as I tried to swim away, but I had started giggling which slowed me down enough that she caught up to me quickly. She held me while Chris came over and mercilessly tickled the bottom of one of my feet which they both knew was my weak spot. Even as I thrashed around in an attempt to escape I understood just how little it had taken for the mood to change. I didn't have to worry about what they thought, they were still my brother and sister and it would take more than a lack of clothes to get in the way of that.
