"Mom?" I yelled as I walked into the house. I hadn't been home for at least a week and the washing pile I had built up at college was quite impressive both in size and odor.
"Mom?" I shouted again. Where was she I wondered? Her car was in the drive. She couldn't be far. She hardly left the house since my baby brother had been born.
It was pretty strange having a baby brother at my age. But mom had he fallen pregnant with me when she was still in high school and she was barely in her mid thirties now.
For a long time it had been just the two of us. Then Brian had come along.
Brian was fine but, frankly, I knew my mom could do better.
But she had seemed so happy to marry Brian, and even more so when, shortly afterwards, she had fallen pregnant with my half brother, Ian.
"Mom?" I called a third time as I climbed the steps to the second floor.
Things had changed considerably with the arrival of Ian. I had nothing against the kid, but he was hard work. He hardly seemed to sleep or eat and, when he was awake, he cried all the time.
We had yet to form any sort of a brotherly bond. Despite my efforts to make the hour and a half long drive home from college as often as I could.
I also did it because I could see my mom had been taking a lot of strain lately.
She had confided in me that Brian was hardly at home any more since Ian was born. He could not deal with the stress of raising a newborn.
"Mom?" I called a little softer, realizing that she might be putting Ian to sleep.
Then I heard an odd sound. A muffled sobbing was coming from my mom and Brian's room.
Tentatively I opened the door and saw her.
It was a confusing sight to take in. My mom was there, but I could not see her face. Her usually honey colored hair was wet and hung limp in dark tresses over her eyes. Her shoulders rose and fell with her sobs.
A tingle like an electric shock ran through me as I took in the rest of the scene. She was topless, the white towel she had been wearing had slipped and had pooled around her waist and hips. Her nipples were just covered where they made contact with her thighs.
I felt guilty, but I could not help pausing far longer than was necessary to take her in.
My mom's tits had always been something of an issue for me. They were, simply put, gigantic. As far back as I could remember I had been aware of strange men leering at her. Later, when I became a teenager it was all my friends who were trying to peer down her top. In any room I could tell, almost without looking, how many men were staring at her tits. It always made me angry.
I will admit to acting out in some pretty atrocious ways to drive off any potential boyfriends she might had when I was younger. But I was always good to her. She was close to perfect in every way and I had not yet met a man worthy of her.
Brian only got through my line of defense because I had been away for my first year of college.
I tolerated his presence because he had made my mom happy, at least in the beginning. But if she was crying because of him I was going to murder that motherfucker.
My protective instinct awoke and I wanted to punch something. She looked so vulnerable, so beautiful in the shaft of light that speared through the half drawn bedroom curtains.
I felt shame that, while this was going on, I could not help but stare at the way her tits jiggled with each sob.
Since the birth of Ian her mammaries had grown even more swollen with breast milk and now each was even larger than my head, and then some.
I wondered, dimly in the back of my mind, what they might feel like to the touch.
"Chase?" I was jolted from my reverie at the sound of my own name. I looked up from where I had blatantly been staring at my mom's naked breasts and saw her red rimmed eyes were staring back at me. I felt heat and color infuse my cheeks.
There was no hiding from her that I been looking at her. Maybe because she was so used to it from men in general, or maybe because she was just glad to see me, but she quickly pushed the awkwardness aside and asked.
"What are you doing home, baby?"
"Um" I stammered as I struggled to recover from my embarrassment. "Hi mom."
She had hastily moved to cover herself, drawing one arm across her chest, but was doing a poor job of it. There was just too much real estate to cover and my eyes strained with the effort to keep focused above her neckline.
"Are you okay?" It was all I could think to do to redirect the conversation back at her.
She smiled through her tears and held out her one free arm to show she wanted a hug. I hesitated briefly, then rationalised that she was my mom after all and it wasn't that weird.
I approached her and bent down to give her a hug that still kept our bodies as far apart as possible.
"Oh, Chase. I feel better now you are home."
She was so warm, and she smelled like the rose scented shampoo I associated with comfort. I tasted the salt of her tears as my mouth brushed her cheek.
I would have broken my weak hug there if I could have, but she was a mother and she pulled me in tight, causing me to lose my balance, slightly.
I felt a strange stirring within me at the touch of her bared flesh against me. She winced and let out a small hiss at the contact.
I backed away quickly and looked at her grimace with concern, asking "Seriously, mom, are you alright?"
"Nothing that should worry you, baby."
"Mom?" I gave her a level stare. We were closer than any other mother and son I knew. Partly it was because of our relative closeness in age, but also it was because for most of our lives we had only had each other. We confided everything in one other.
She was the first person I had told when I lost my virginity. She had been really happy for me, only acting like a normal mom when she reminded me to always use a condom. But then, given her history, that was not surprising.
Looking abashed she replied with a sigh, "It's a lot of things, Chase. Your brother has been impossible, I have only just got him down now and it took me over an hour. Brian is hardly ever here any more and I am starting to realise he wasn't ready to raise a baby."
"Want me to kill him?" I was only partially joking. I did not like the idea that Brian was hurting my mom like this.
She actually laughed a little at this and it warmed me to hear it. "No, that's just a small part of it. To be honest he gets so angry every time he hears Ian cry that, I hate to admit it, I feel a little relieved when he doesn't come home until late. I think what I am finding hardest right now is that Ian just won't feed."
I gave her a confused look, not fully understanding her implication, then reddened when I caught her eyes involuntarily drop to her partially covered chest.
"Oh." I said, then "Oh!"
"Yeah, and I don't think you understand how hard that is for a mother. You were such a good little feeder. You made it so easy even though I was little more than a kid myself and didn't have a clue what I was doing. I feel even less prepared for it now, even though I am old and this is not my first time."
"Mom," I scoffed, "You are not old. Literally everyone who meets us for the first time thinks you are my sister."
"Oh, you, stop" she slapped my arm lightly then said, "Actually wait, go on."
I laughed this time and I found I had leaned in a little closer to her, despite my discomfort with her nudity. The sunlight coming through the window made a little island of warmth for us.
When she had slapped my arm she winced again and then began to rub the top of her right breast. The flesh there looked engorged and stiffer than it ought be.
Seeing my concern she added "The worst of it is I am in so much pain. With Ian not feeding, these," she looked down and searched for a polite word, "things,' are so full of milk I feel like they want to burst. I can't tell you how uncomfortable they are."
"Have you tried a pump?"
"Three! None of them are built to fit someone of my, erm, proportions. They just won't form a close enough seal to create suction." She indicated to one such device I had not noticed before, which had clearly been hurled into one corner of the room. It was now in several pieces. That, from what I could discern, seemed to be what had started her spiral into despair.
I nodded sympathetically and tried not to think about looking down at those self same generous proportions,
"The only thing that helps is to massage them, but even that is futile because I just can't get enough leverage. I really need help."
"What about Brian?"
"Brian," she spat the name with venom, "Wants me to stop breastfeeding and put Ian on formula. He says I look like a dairy cow and won't come anywhere near me until I get my old body back."
"Asshole."
She nodded, and then sniffed. I could see the tears I thought I had banished return to the corners of her eyes.
"Hey," I patted her shoulder, "Don't"