It was at some point around puberty, when I figured, that I wanted to be in porn. It's not that I was exceptionally pretty young woman, but when I talked to my girlfriends, it became clear to me, that my sex drive was exceptional. So why not make a career out of it?
As puberty progressed and I explored my sexuality, I was only more and more convinced, that porn was what I wanted to do. And so, when I turned 18, I figured, that I had to tell my parents.
It was an ordinary evening at dinner. We were talking about school, and consequently what I might think about doing after finishing. So it felt as a perfectly natural point to tell them. I tried to sound confident, but I don't think that I succeeded, when I said:
"Mom, dad, I want to do porn."
The mood shifted immediately. At first, they didn't say a word. I sensed, that maybe it was because they had no clue what to say. The silence seemed to go on forever, but it might only have been seconds before my father spoke. He was trying to restrain himself, but not doing a good job.
"Honey, no! What are you thinking? You don't have to do that, you could do anything, be anything!"
"Well I can't be anything. I mean, it's already to late, if I wanted to be a concert pianist, then I should have started practicing at five!"
At this, my mother chimed in.
"Now sweetie, you know that's not what he meant. You're not stupid, and you're good with people. Why wouldn't you want to do something with that? No parent want's their child to be in... well, you know."
"But it's something that I want to do. And I was hoping, that you'd just accept it. You might think it's weird, and it's really awkward for me, to talk about this with my parents, but I've always had a really strong lust for sex. And I really want to go to work every day, and get laid. Now can we please stop talking about it."
"No, sweetie. We're afraid, that you're going to make a mistake, and that you'll regret till the end of your days. So we're saying, that you shouldn't do porn."
"You can't make me." I said with a raised voice, at which point my parents looked perplexed at each other. Then my mother said.
"I guess we can't. You're a grown woman now. But could you at least promise me this: Will you think about? And I mean deeply think about it. Give it some time, before you jump into anything."
She was giving me the puppy eyes - or tried to anyway - and I couldn't resist. I silently nodded. For the rest of dinner, not a single word was said. Dad was steaming. Mom was looking sad. And I tried not to let them see how shaken I was.
I'm basically a good girl, so I gave it a month. I tried weighing the ups and downs, but as it had always been, I had a hard time coming up with any downs. And so, one evening I came to my mother, who was alone at the kitchen.
I guess she could sense my purpose. I was probably acting more solemn than usual.
"Did you change your mind?"
I shook my head.
"Okay, I guess. Just take care of yourself."
I nodded and began to turn around, when she spoke again.
"And sweetie, please keep your work to yourself. We really don't want to think about what you do."
I guessed, that I could understand that. Frankly, I didn't really feel like talking to my parents about sex anyway. So I nodded, and went to bed. Excited that my grown up life was finally about to start.
Shortly after, I had found an agent and was doing my first shoot. It was a classic recruitment-style video, where the director was playing a casting agent, who would sign me, if I slept with him. It was shot in this cheap looking office, on a big couch - actually, the office of the real casting agent was much nicer.
The director was an okay guy. Mostly, he wasn't to bad looking, and the dick he was packing was nice and thick.
It felt weird being on camera. First we did a little talking, but I was quickly on my knees, sucking on his cock the best I knew. Obviously, I was a little nervous, which you could tell from my performance, but afterwards he said that it was great - it gave the video an authentic touch.
As the blowjob progressed, I became more relaxed. When he finally bent me over the couch and lifted up my miniskirt, I had lost my inhibitions. And when he penetrated my pussy, I was simply enjoying myself.
At that moment I knew, that this was what I wanted to do with my life! I was moaning with pleasure, as he kept pounding me from behind. I could feel his thick tool swell and fill up my pussy.
I felt, he wanted to cum inside me. Hell, I wanted him to cum inside me. In the end though, he pulled out and guided me unto my knees. I eagerly opened my mouth, as he sprayed his warm juices on my face. I swallowed dutifully.
When I did my first shoots, I was still in school, and it wasn't a full time thing. So it was first after I graduated, that I really started to learn the tricks of the trade.
Porn isn't just about having fun and fucking around, I found. You're an entertainer, and so, you have to entertain.
I started a training regiment, strictly focused on being able to do advanced sexual positions - if you want to stay in the business, missionary and doggy just won't cut it. More importantly though, is the acting.
Most people say, that porn actors can't act, and it's kind of true. We're perfectly transparent, when we try to act sad, upset or do more complex emotions. But there's one emotion we know: Arousal.
If you want to be among the top, you have to know, how to look aroused. Both the simple stuff - looking deep into his eyes and letting out small rhythmical whimps, that tell him, that you want him - and of course the over-the-top sex crazed nymphomaniacal slutty kind of arousal.
After having done several shoots a month for a couple of years, I had become good. I had gained a reputation. I had a name. I had fans. I was becoming a star.
Sex on screen had become a second nature. It was a part of me. And I was still enjoying myself every time a well hung stud was plowing me, while the cameras was rolling, and the entire crew was transfixed on the fucking in front of them.
Right around my 22nd birthday, I got a huge job. It wasn't just a video, it was a real production. A movie, with several scenes, and a real story - sort of. This was my big break, and I knew it.
I was celebrating my 22nd birthday back home, with my parents and my big brother. My parents and I hadn't talked about my career since I was 18, as they had wanted it. I, on the other hand, was growing tired of our arrangement. I was succeeding! I just did a huge job! I was a rising star.
My brother had big news too. After working as a portrait photographer for a couple of years, he had finally gotten a job in the movie industry, being director of photography on a small artsy indie film.
After listening to him telling about it, and my parents asking about it, for an entire dinner, I finally had enough.
"You know, I have big news to." I said out of nowhere, and suddenly all eyes where on me.
"I just finished a shoot last week on a movie. It's a huge production, with several big stars, and some of the best crew in the industry."
"That's great honey, but we really don't want to know." Mom said.
"But I want to tell you. You've been sitting around all night listening to Josh' big news, and this is pretty big for me. I'm really good at what I do, and I'm really proud of it, so it hurts, when I cant share it with you!"
My brother was looking down at his plate. Dad was looking nervously at mom, who had been trying to break off my speech.
"Sweetie it's just weird talking about sex with you. We know what you do, and we're glad you're doing good, but it makes us feel queezy."
