Part 1. The night of my life.
Covid year. Lockdown. Zoom school. Prom cancelled. Eighteen years old. Pure misery. No fun. Stuck at home. Hiding behind a mask. Weight gain. Broke up with my boyfriend on Facebook. And what was I supposed to do with my pretty prom dress?
Sometimes I would put it on in my room, just to feel pretty, just to see how I looked in it in the mirror, and make sure it is still fits, to practice the zipper on the back, and unzipping it back off. I liked the way it hugged my hips, and how the scooped neckline showed off my cleavage. The thin little straps meant a bra just wasn't practical. It had nice padding though, and felt soft and sexy against my bare skin.
One night my mom caught me trying it on again.
"Just for old times sake?" she asked, peering in my cracked bedroom door, snapping a photo with her favorite little manual camera she liked to carry around.
"Mom it's just so pretty! I was looking forward to wearing it to prom with David, but neither of those is going to happen here in 2020."
She snapped a few more photos of me as I twirled around for her camera, then she put it down and sat on the edge of my bed. "I'm sorry, sweetie. You really had it all planned out, didn't you? The dinner, the limo, David to be your date, and all your friends and their dates."
"Yup, but now all that's up in smoke. Stupid virus. All I have is this dress. This was going to be the dress that I lost my--"
"Lost your what, honey, your purse, while wearing it?" My mom knew me too well. "Did you want David to be your first the night you wore that dress honey?"
"I mean, kinda. But you know, up in smoke now." I looked down at my bare feet on the carpet in my room and wiggled my toes.
"He was a nice boy. I liked him... reminds me a lot of your father." I sat down next to her and she wrapped an arm around my bare shoulders.
"Really?" I had never made any such connection.
"You know, quiet, but strong, with a passion that's always just under the surface but always needs an outlet. He probably would have been good in bed, ha!" she chuckled to herself. I sat there in my prom dress, picturing David's nineteen year old cock that I had only played with twice.
"Good in bed like dad?" I wondered out loud.
"Now honey, I know I said you could ask me anything but that's private."
"I mean he must be good, Mom! You two have had all four of us kids!" My older brother, me, a younger sister and my little brother, still just a toddler, still breastfeeding. And another on the way. She was 12 weeks pregnant with what would turn out to be another little girl.
"Well I'd be lying if I said no, honey." My mother replied while massaging the baby bump on her otherwise toned belly.
"Oh well, good to know I guess. The way this year is going, I'll never even leave the house again. So here I am, sitting in my prom dress, no man to love me. My plans, my dream all shot to pieces..."
She saw me starting to tear up, so she pulled me closer to her and leaned her head on my shoulder. "Well your father and I love you, so there's that."
"And I love both of you, too. But that's not the same, Mom."
"It could be..." she whispered, still rubbing her baby bump.
"What do you mean?" I whispered back.
"I mean, if you really want to find out. If it really is your dream. You know, that dress and a man to love you, a man who's s really good in bed..."
"Mom! What are you saying???"
"Well we could ask him. I mean if you wanted him to... He would probably say yes." She seemed pretty confident.
"You mean if I wanted him to fuck me???" The idea was crazy. I wasn't that desperate. I had standards, morals.
"Well have you ever thought about it? I know I thought about it when I was your age, nineteen and about to finish high school, living at home. I've seen what you wear around him sometimes." I knew she would call me on that one day.
"I, I just do that to see if he notices me but I mean, kind of, especially when I hear you two going at it late at night. It sounds like it must be nice." I had to admit all that.
"It is honey, it's very nice. Your father and I have always enjoyed a very intimate relationship. I wouldn't share him with anyone else, but you're special. You're our first girl. I think it would be very special for him to be your first just like he was my first. And I've been dying to film something new and fresh and exciting." That was a twist I didn't see coming. I didn't how to react to that so I ignored that aspect of it for the moment. My mind focused on the sex, anyway.
"You mean you lost your virginity to him?" I guess I should have figured but wow, ok.
"It was our prom night, actually, in 2001. We were both nineteen and I had been taking birth control religiously for two months. I just wish I had been taking photos back then. I'd love to be able to look back on that night."
She seemed lost in time, remembering it.
"What was it like?" I wondered aloud.
"Well I had it all planned out, too. It had to be romantic for me. We really took our time. I've never regretted giving my body to him, the love we shared then, the excitement and anticipation and the satisfaction we both gave each other that night. The way he made love to me that first night, over and over, I knew he was the one."
"Wow that sounds so perfect, so amazing. That's just the way I want it."
"So let's set it up. I'll talk to your father and we'll make it all romantic. I'll make up some reason for all your siblings to go to bed early. Then you can spend the night in our bedroom. That is, if you're still taking your birth control, and if you want to do this. It's up to you."
I had to think about, but I didn't think. I felt. I wanted. My body yearned to be touched, appreciated, loved, taken, pleasured. Having my mother there would make it more safe, plus she would get the photos she wanted. I liked it when she took pictures of me.
I nodded my head.
"Do you really want it?" she asked, squeezing my hand.
"Yes Mom, I want it."
*******
The next night my mother texted me late, after all my siblings had gone to bed, asking if they could come talk to me. I was in bed already but I said sure, come on in. They opened the door quietly and stepped in. I sat up in bed, wearing my loose tank top, the one with the plunging neckline. My Mom took a photo of me then sat down while my dad stood there to talk to me. I saw his eyes noticing my boobs.
"Your mother tells me you're ready to, you want me to, to teach you about being intimate with a man, and she wants to use it for a film study."
"Yes, dad."
"Well honey, we all have urges sometimes, but you don't have to give in to them right away. You can wait. Maybe you'll get back together with David, or meet another nice young man. Your mother could film you two instead."
"Not any time soon, Dad. I can't even hardly leave the house. Everything is closed and everyone is scared. It really sucks out there."