"Thank you," Stacy told Neil, "I know she's old enough to look after herself but-"
Neil cut her off, "it's OK sis, I understand, just make sure Mark gets better, things will be fine while you're away." She looked at him warily. In a normal family, maybe they would have hugged goodbye but instead, they just nodded as she got in the taxi that would take her to the airport.
He'd been surprised to get the call, they hadn't really seen each other in years & the only time he heard from her were the generic 'family newsletters' he'd get a copy of each Christmas. He hadn't even recognised the number, it turned out, their family didn't 'believe' in cell phones & she'd been calling from their home's landline. Stacy had become more religious, more isolated with each year. They were an extremely conservative couple & Neil had grown bored of the sermonizing & judgement that even seeped into their infrequent newsletters.
He stood in his doorway for a moment thinking about how much older & more tired his half-sister looked than the last time he'd seen her (their mother's funeral). She was only 37 but you wouldn't guess it by the worry lines around her eyes. Her father had died when she was seven & their mother had remarried his dad. He was 28 & Stacy still treated him like he was a delinquent teenager. He guessed since he hadn't joined her born-again, fundamentalist church, she'd always look at him like a wild card, a deviant.
Well, he had no problem taking in his niece, Esther, for a few weeks or so while Mark had his operation & recovery out of town. Despite the distance between them, it's what you did for family. & hopefully, Esther would enjoy a little more freedom, a little more interaction with the world. She was 18 & still extremely sheltered. The last time he'd seen her, she'd been 12, & a shy but curious kid. He'd given her a Barbie doll, not really sure what girls her age liked. She'd been delighted but her parents had taken it from her, said it was Satanic to have an adult-doll who could be undressed, & made him take it back. The girl had cried & been sent to her room without dinner. For his sins, he was told he should be ashamed of himself.
Neil had argued with his sister, reminded her that she grew up with Barbie dolls too, reminded her the girl was just a child. He'd been frustrated. He hadn't QUITE been asked to leave but Mark had certainly implied he was a 'subversive' influence. Before he left, he surreptitiously gave his niece the rest of her present, a bag of gummy bears. She'd never had candy & he told her to hide them & the trash from her parents. He knew it was bad form to teach her to lie, but he felt so bad for her.
He felt sorry for the kid. She'd been homeschooled by Stacy & it was clear that her education had been lacking. Mark would have insisted on a focus on the Bible rather than maths or science. Even her reading skills were below average. She'd grown up with no siblings (Stacy had an emergency hysterectomy after Esther's difficult birth, an incident the couple still prayed about, hoping Jesus would miraculously allow her to conceive more children, to be 'fruitful'). As far as Neil knew, she had no friends her own age (only interacting with people at the fundamentalist church her parents raised her in), no internet, no TV, not even a library card. Stacy & Mark had applied for foster kids but been turned down for reasons they wouldn't discuss.
He thought Esther's life must be terribly lonely & sad, but he'd given up trying to convince his sister & her husband to open their minds even a crack. They were fully committed to & indoctrinated in their little bubble. He'd been shocked they'd even asked him to help, he assumed they would have asked someone from their congregation instead. They must have been in a real jam.
It was true Esther was more than old enough to look after herself for a week, but the girl seemed scared & unprepared. She looked younger than she was & Neil wondered if she was slightly malnourished or something (Mark & Stacy had strict rules about 'unclean' foods, there was a lock on their fridge). She was short, with straight, mousy-brown hair that grew almost to her waist, & was trimmed at home.
Her skin had never seen makeup, probably never been cleaned with anything more modern than soap. She was dressed in conservative, drab clothes that were far too modest, & far too old for her, but only served to make her look even younger, more naive, more fragile. The family's aesthetics leaned toward the 'Amish.' He imagined they thought of themselves as 'traditional' or imagined people thought they were 'quaint.' But to Neil, there was something sinister about the outfits. Their clothes told others 'you're all sinners. STAY AWAY.'
He decided that he was going to ignore the rules while she stayed with him. They'd have frozen pizza for dinner, he'd show her how to get online, he'd introduce her to TV & let her listen to whatever music she liked & other normal stuff. She could eat what she wanted, when she wanted, without asking. She could stay up as late as she wanted, go out, do what she wanted. That's what they'd done for the first couple of days.
After Neil reassured Esther that he wouldn't tell her parents, she'd taken to her new freedom ecstatically. They had pop-tarts for breakfast, she binge-watched 'Friends' all day. He'd been surprised, he'd expected her to want to watch something more modern but she'd ended up becoming addicted to the sitcom that had been the most popular when Stacy had been a kid. It made it easier to answer her thousands of questions, that he knew the characters & storylines.
It could have been difficult having a young woman staying with him, his apartment was still a bit of a bachelor pad, no feminine touches, small, but tidy. He'd put her in the office on an air-mattress & she'd seemed happy enough - especially with the old iPad he gave her & the Netflix password. Like most teenagers she seemed happy to spend all her day online.
She had been surprised at how permissive he'd been, not even a bedtime, no limit on the length of her showers (luckily, his utilities were a flat rate bundled together with his rent). He was amazed at how quickly she'd adjusted to the freedom of living with him. She was an adult, but her parents had kept her so secluded that in many ways she seemed almost laughably naive. He'd had to explain several jokes & scenarios from the jokes involving Ross, Rachel, Chandler & the crew that other kids her age would've found laughably tame. She adored Phoebe.
On the third night, he'd just finished typing a report on his laptop in bed, he'd submit it the next day. It was late & he chided himself for working in bed, it wouldn't be easy to get to sleep, so he thought he'd utilize the tried & true method of post-wank sleepiness to help. He found a video, one where a girl gets caught shoplifting & gets out of it by having sex with the security guard in the backroom. He was about five minutes into it, the laptop on his stomach, his hand jerking off beneath the covers when Esther's voice shocked him from his bedroom door, he hadn't even heard her open it.
"Are you watching a pornography?" She asked.
He froze, relieved that the bedding covered his erection which he was holding through his boxers, he hit the spacebar as quickly as he could. "Uh, yeah," he stammered, "did I wake you up?" He looked at the digital time on the screen. It was well after 1am, he'd said goodnight to her at 10. The volume was very low, how had he woken her? He braced himself a little for a sermon.
"No, I was awake. Do you always watch pornography movies?" Esther asked, stepping towards his bed, trying to see the screen.
"Not always, just every now & then."
"Why?"
"I'm not sure we should be talking about this..."
"I know about sexual intercourse."
"OK, but I'm not sure it's appropriate to... I watch it to, uh. Do you know what it means to ejaculate?"
"It's how a man puts his sperm in a woman so she can have a baby, right?"
"Uh, yeah. But you know it feels good for the man? Even if it's not to make a baby?"
"Yeah." She blushed a little. "Does the pornography make it feel better when you do it?"
"It makes it... easier. I was... trying to get to sleep, sometimes it helps me sleep."
He'd tucked himself back into his boxers & put the laptop beside him, the screen facing away from them both. He wondered how to change the subject, or how to make sure it didn't become a misunderstanding where she told his sister he'd jerked off in FRONT of her or something. He lived alone, he'd never needed a lock on his bedroom door. Perhaps he should have made sure she was asleep, or jerked off in the shower, but how was he to know she'd just walk in without knocking? What kind of person even did that? He was blushing too.
"Would it be OK if I watched a little?"
He was floored by the question. His mind was racing. His niece was asking for - for what? For permission to... watch HIM? Or watch some porn? He decided the second option was the least horrifying. "uh, do you want me to show you where you can watch it on your iPad?" he asked, trying to figure out what she wanted.
"No... I was..." She trailed off, looking so embarrassed.
"You mean... Do you mean you'd like to watch what I was watching?"
"Yeah. If that's OK I mean."
"Have you ever watched porn before?" He couldn't believe he was asking her, of course she hadn't.
She shook her head, & then, she sat on his bed, beside him. OH. She wanted to watch it WITH him. This was too weird. He shouldn't. But without thinking, he hit the spacebar again & the video restarted.
The actress was flirting with the actor playing the security guard, asking him to let her off with a warning, telling him she would 'work it off.' She was rubbing his cock & started to blow him, sloppy, spitty sucking with a lot of moaning & talking. The actor was asking if his cock tasted good, the actress was telling him he was sooo big, that his dick tasted sooo good. Standard porn cocksucking.
Neil couldn't help it, his dick was responding to the video &, if he was honest, to the taboo nature of sharing it with his sister's daughter. She was almost certainly a virgin he realised & chided himself for even thinking of it. His face felt burning hot with embarrassment.
"Could I... see yours?"
He almost choked. Had she really just asked what he thought she had? Was she asking to see his cock? Or was there anything else she would be asking to see, he wracked his mind. He was silent for a long time.
"Would it be OK? I just... I've never seen one before. It just, I don't know who else to ask & I'm old enough but -"
"You want me to show you my penis?" He asked, awkwardly using the proper word in embarrassed surprise.
"If it would be OK? I just -"
He sat up, propping a pillow behind himself.
"I'm not sure it's a good idea." He told her, thinking that as soon as his erection went all the way down he'd get out of bed & move the conversation to a more neutral place, like the kitchen.
