Perils of Online Dating

Thank you for reading my story, I hope that you enjoy it, Mica xx Yorkshire England

I was, to be honest, pretty fed up with the lack of attention from my husband Mick. I keep myself trim, I am always tidy and presentable and, if I do say so myself, I am not ugly. I wear revealing clothes around him, but obviously not when our son Greg is around, I wear the skimpiest of negligees in the bedroom, I try and bend over in front of him, I read that men find that the sexiest view. Not Mick. He just ignores everything I do, I have tried all the suggestions from the forums.

I don't think he is having an affair, I check his laundry, no inappropriate stains in his underwear, no strange perfume smells on his clothes, he tells me where he is going on the few occasions he leaves home. He is either working or sat on the sofa watching TV, or occasionally at the pub when there is a big match on.

I had met Sally in town for coffee, we were sat in 'Hot Java', a coffee shop on the pedestrianised high street, we were drinking coffee and nibbling croissants.

"Our men are useless," Sally said.

"Agreed," I answered. We were having our weekly moan and shop, sat in the window watching people walk by, commenting on some.

"Look at him," Sally said pointing at a muscled lad that walked past, his arms about six inches from his sides because of his muscles.

"Crikey yes, I bet he could show you a good time, look at his muscles, wow."

"Oh no Jenny, not at all, haven't you heard? All the steroids that they take makes their willy shrink."

I laughed, "I'd take a small willy right now."

"Mick still Mr no show?"

"Yup, just not interested, I am getting through so many batteries in my Vibe it's untrue."

"You need to have an affair and get royally shagged, not once, not twice, but at least thrice in one sitting, or should I say laying."

"I am not ugly, I mean, really?"

"Believe me if I were into girls I would be so trying to get into your knickers, no, you are not in any way ugly."

"Never really fancied girls, I like the feel of a hard dick sawing in and out, any of the three options really."

"Ooh saucy, any of the three? Crikey, not so keen on the back door me. But I do like a good tongue, doing its business, you know, oh yes."

"I suppose for you then, a girl could do?"

"Not unless she has a willie to finish off with!"

"Your hubs not as attentive as you would like then?

"God awful. Literally a quick in and out, fanny's your aunt, and he's done. I have tried all sorts, but no, just a quick up and under is all he is interested in on a Saturday night after Match of The Day."

We both laughed and eventually, with no resolution to our man problems, we headed off our separate ways. I got home, house was empty. I went up and stripped to my bra and knickers and went to put my dress in the wash, I had dropped something on it in the coffee shop, and I wanted it washed before it got set. I walked out of my bedroom straight into a very naked Greg walking out of the bathroom, obviously having showered.

I tried very hard not to look at his almost hard dick, goodness, I bet that could do some serious damage.

"Sorry bab, didn't realise you were home, just going to put this dress in the washing machine."

"S'okay mum, not as if we are both naked."

I feigned surprise. "Gosh, oh yes you are, sorry. Right I am just going to go past you, if you could step back a little so that I don't rub against anything I shouldn't."

I tried very hard not to look again at his dick which now, as I am not looking at it, seemed much harder and bigger.

It seems I have the right effect on some people, just not the person I should. I went down to the kitchen popped the dress and a capsule and a stain devil in the machine and set it to a short thirty-degree wash. Hopefully I could get it onto the line later to dry.

I put the kettle on, I think I needed a cup of tea, the coffee had been a bit claggy today. I sat on the sofa waiting for it to boil and Greg came in, wearing his boxers, but still obviously in a state of 'excitement'. Thank goodness we girls don't show our excitement the way boys do.

"I'm making tea if you want some?"

"Please."

I tried very hard, again, not to look at his boxer bulge as I got up, Greg sat on a chair by the table. I walked past and made a couple of teas, both of us are milk no sugar, so easy really. I put the milk back in the fridge and passed him his tea and then sat on the sofa again, supping at the rather too hot tea.

"What you go on today?" I asked him.

"Well, apart from boxers," he laughed at his own awful joke, "not much, I thought I might just hang."

"Okay, and may I request that you put on something over your boxers? Not really something you should be showing your mum." Well, he was 'hanging out' on one side. No, not something his mum should be seeing.

He shrugged and didn't move, just sat there drinking his tea and I sat there drinking my tea looking at a perfectly usable dick that was of no use to me. Oh, life is so frustrating sometimes. I finished my tea and went and sorted laundry and put a wash on. I tidied away the breakfast things and sat in the conservatory with my iPad.

I don't know why, but I remembered reading about an online site where older ladies could meet up with younger guys for no strings sex. Could I even think about that? I don't want an affair, I don't want to leave Mick, but I do want to get some shagging on board. I did a bit of a search, it really needed to be UK based, the laws here are different than abroad, you could legally have sex at sixteen in the UK, but wouldn't someone twenty years younger than me be just too young?

'Not if he has got a hard dick that he's happy to shove into your fanny' my inner god told me.

Cougar4UK was the website I found. Women could register free. As part of the registration process I had to provide a facial photo. Oh. I didn't want to use my own face, not yet, but I wanted someone that at least looked a little like me. I scoured online socials and found a couple of likely faces. I hummed and hahed, and decided on the one I liked most, copied it, and uploaded it to my new account.

It also suggested a few saucy or intimate images. I went up to my bedroom, Greg was in the house and I didn't want him to come down and see me taking photos of my naked bits. In my bedroom I quickly stripped. A sideways boob photo with the blank bedroom wall as a backdrop was first, I did three of them, in differing angles. And then, well, the money shot. My fanny. How best? I tried crouching over my iPad, but I thought the image of my gaping fanny a little too porno. I settled for a photo of my crease above my closed thighs. It was a fanny, it was shaven, that should be enough.

I quickly dressed and went back down, uploaded the photos and then added details of myself. Married, could not use my home, can meet discretely, no relationship wanted. To keep things simple for me I used the name H which was short for my middle name Harriet. I posted everything and my profile went live. I put my iPad down, I had to, otherwise I would have been hovering waiting for responses.

I emptied the washing machine and hung the washing out, and then I was pretty much at a loose end. I made a cup of tea and then sat down in the conservatory and took a deep breath. Right. It had been an hour. Would anyone be interested?

Two messages.

Message 1. Your pretty lets fuck.

Message 2. Would like to know more about you.

Message 1, straight to the point, awful grammar. Did grammar matter? Well, bad grammar is actually a turn off. I pressed X to reject

Message 2, cautious. I pressed Y to accept.

I leant back and sipped my tea. There was no guarantee that the message 2 guy would be free to talk right now.

My iPad bonged. A new message.

'Hi. My name is Dave. I am a graduate and I find young girls uninteresting. Would love to know more about you, and then perhaps we could meet somewhere discrete for our mutual satisfaction.'

Okay. Well, yes, what an odd message, I thought. I am guessing 'mutual satisfaction' is, or will be, shagging, and that is what I want. Not sure I want to give away too much about myself. I put my tea down and went up to lay on the bed, with my bedroom door shut, I felt more secure. Greg's door was shut, so no accidental glimpses of his dick thank goodness.

'Hi Dave, I am Harriet. I am married with a son. My husband works and is too tired these days. I am wanting a little no strings satisfaction, but not at home because of family.'

'Hi Harriet, pleased to meet you, lovely name. I understand your position. What is it that you would like, if we were to meet?'

'Hi Dave, you have me on the spot, I have not considered this before. Nothing kinky I suppose. What would you like to do?'

Nothing like turning things around and putting him on the spot.

'Hi Harriet. I would love to watch you strip your clothes off. My preference would be dress, bra, panties and stockings. As you strip I would also strip, T shirt, shorts, boxers.'

'Okay Dave, that sounds rather exciting, what would you do then?'

'I would watch you lay down on the bed. I would kneel at the side of the bed and I would inhale your aroma, your sexual perfume, and then I would tease the lips of your fanny apart with my lips.'

'Dave you are making me wet here. Is your dick hard just thinking about it?'

'Harriet I am so hard I could easily cum right now.'

I searched out and sent him the photo I took of my open fanny.

'Does this help' I asked

I got back a photo of his dick, obviously hard, his foreskin pulled back and a bed of white in his dick hole.'

'Oh that is very nice, just what I need' I sent back

'After I have licked your fanny slit,' I grimaced at that, 'Slit?' 'I would seek and suck your clit, as my fingers searched for your hole.'

Your hole' indeed? My opening or entrance please and valley or crease, not 'slit.

'mmm and when you found my entrance, what would you do Dave?'

'I would slide two fingers inside, to wiggle inside you, to see if I could find your G Spot.'

'mmm and when you found it?'

'I would gently scratch it with my fingernail, perhaps another finger would slide back to your rear and push there, fingers rubbing each other with only a membrane between them.'

Now I didn't mind a bit of backdoor action, but it is usually with a dick.

'Oh Dave that sounds so naughty. Dave, are you stroking yourself?'

'yes, I am nearly there.'

'Oh Dave I wish I were there, holding your dick, squeezing it, rubbing you faster and harder.'

"Difficult to type with wrong hand.'

I bet it was, ha ha.

'I want to see your dick spurt, I want to see you shoot, I want to see your cream'

It went quiet for a while, and then I got a Video file. I clicked play.

A hand was holding a dick and it was moving fast. Up and down that dick was being pumped. The head was disappearing behind the foreskin and then reappearing, red, strained. He pumped down and held it, his dick pointing straight up. A spurt of white shot from the dick, up high, arcing down, and then another and then a third. The hand let go of the dick and a little more cream oozed out and the video stopped.

'Wow Dave, that was fantastic, wow, so much cream, I wish I could have licked it and swallowed it.'

'Show me you now'

Ah, right, how do I do this to make sure my face isn't visible. I put the iPad on a pillow at the side of my crotch and using the front camera I could see the image.

'in a moment Dave' I sent him

I pressed record and slowly ran my fingers down my valley, sliding in the wet of my arousal, my fanny hot with anticipation. I circled and dabbed lightly at my clitoris and then dipped two fingers inside my fanny, I so wanted to use my other hand to play with my clit, but it would have blocked the camera. I stopped before I finished. That could wait for another time.

I sent him the vid file and waited.

'Oh shit Harriet that is so hot, I mean fuck, that is hot. I am hard again. I want you.'

Well now, okay then, he liked that. Let's see if he is prepared to wait, there may be other messages for me after all.

'I have to go now Dave, perhaps tomorrow?'

'K. honestly would have you now if I could, and again tomorrow. C U'

Crumbs, that had felt a little hot for sure, my goodness.

One other message, it seems perhaps I am not as attractive a proposition as I had hoped.

'hello pretty lady'

Well that was odd.

'Hello, I am Harriet, tell me about yourself.'

'hello harriet I am josh. I am nineteen and am an Uber driver, so I can often be available by flagging myself as not available for Uber. I would like to see more of you. I think the photo of your tits is fantastic and your fanny looks inviting.

I hate the word tits.

'hello Josh, thank you, I am glad that you like my boobs, if you were with me what would you like to do?'

'hello Harriet I would love to suck on them, and I would like to use my fingers in your pussy and then I would want to fuck you.'

'I can tell you watch a lot of American Porn Josh, we tend to say Fanny in the UK. I don't mind you watching porn. Do you touch yourself when you watch porn?'

'oh yes, do you mind me wanking?'

'gosh no, of course not, I do it myself.'

'oh wow, I would like to see that.'

'if I show you that will you send me a video of you'

'yes'

So I dug out the video I took of myself earlier and sent it to him.

'oh god' came back.

'did you like that' I sent him.

I got a video back, a dick being furiously pumped. It looked a reasonable dick, smaller than Dave by the look, but hard and ready.

'Nice Josh, and what would you like me to do with that dick?' I sent back

'fuck it Harriet, that's what I want, fuck it.'

I just wasn't feeling it with him, I suspected something, I didn't know what, but I wasn't interested in going further.

'I have to go now Josh' I sent and then put an N against his profile.

Well that was interesting. A little ego deflating to only get three replies, I thought the older woman was all the rage these days, perhaps not.

I made Greg and I cheese and onion sandwiches for lunch and called him down.

"Do you want a cup of tea?" I asked as he wandered into the kitchen.

"Er, no, no thanks, I'll grab a can of coke."

"Okay, there's some cold in the fridge," I answered.

"How is the hanging going"

Oh, so, so, you know, just hanging."

"I don't know how you sleep at night when you do nothing all day."

"I guess it's a gift mum, a gift."

I did some sewing in the afternoon, then I did sausages and cheesy mash with onion gravy for tea. Mick and I watched House of the Dragons in the evening and then we went to bed. My night was full of very racy dreams and my fingers found themselves between my legs on more than one occasion.

In the morning, I was in dire need of a shower. Oh my, that was a steamy night, no thanks to Mick sadly. I washed every inch, except my hair, that stayed in a shower cap, and some bits I washed twice. I stood and patted myself dry with a towel, roll on anti-perspirant in my creases and I was ready to face the day. I put my robe on and went down to see what needed doing. Mick was finishing his bowl of cornflakes and then he would be off to work. Greg, nowhere to be seen, I assumed his was still in his pit.

I kissed Mick farewell and he was off to work. I tidied the odd bits that Mick had used into the dishwasher and made myself a cup of tea. Sat in the conservatory I fired up the Cougar4UK app and took a deep breath. Was any one interested?

Oh my goodness, there were over ten messages. One from Dave, I looked at that first.

'Good morning beautiful lady in my phone. I hope that you had a good night, I did, you were in all my dreams'

'Good morning handsome, yes I had torrid dreams and had to have a shower this morning. I am still wet now.'

'can you show me your wet fanny'

'give me a minute'

I opened my robe and pushed it well to the side. I used the front facing camera and cropped the image to be just my crotch. I then pushed my soles together, widening my knees and opened my lips revealing my wet fanny. I pressed record and then I ran my finger up and down my wet valley and then passed my opening into my wanting fanny. I stopped recording, quickly checked the file showed nothing I didn't want it to, and then sent it to Dave.

Nothing for a few moments. And then I got a message back

'holly heck Harriet, you are so hot, I need to see you, I need to fill your fanny with my dick. Can we meet?'

'Will you live up to your promises? Will you make me scream in pleasure?'

'Hell yes'

'we can meet. This afternoon. Let me check if I can get a hotel room.'

I went onto the Travel Lodge website and managed to book a double room for my nearest Travel Lodge. Back to the app.

'Travel Lodge next to Lidl. 1300. Be there. I will. Will msg u room no when I know it'

'fantastic. C u l8r'

I was glad he didn't sign off with a kiss. This was supposed to be pure no strings shagging, no room for emotion. And then I stopped. Wow, I realised what I had done. I had arranged to meet someone I don't know for sex. I don't really know anything about him. Crumbs, is this how desperate I have become?

The morning dragged a bit, I didn't look at the other messages on Cougar4UK, I mentally banked them. I did some ironing, said goodbye to Greg, he was off out, 'just out' he said when I asked him.

I had a salad for early lunch, early as I had to get to the Travel Lodge. I wanted to be there for around 1245 so I could get the key and get my self sorted. I parked in the Lidl carpark, I didn't want my car spotted in the hotel carpark, and I walked round to the hotel, collected my key and went to the room. I shut the door behind me, sat on the bed and just held my breath.

I went on the app and sent the message.

'room 12'

I waited. I was so nervous. This could all go terribly wrong, but then I thought, what is the worst that could happen? The door knocked.

My heart shot into my mouth and I am sure I was shaking.

I opened the door.

"Dave? I asked.

"Mum?"

"Greg?" I pulled him in and shut the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Er, well, I am meeting someone."

The penny dropped with the sound of Big Ben on New Years Eve.

"So, you are Dave."

"And you are Harriet."

Well, here we were and what were we going to do. I had already shown him my fanny and my playing with it, and I had already seen his dick and it spurting.

"Lock the door Dave," I said, what else could I do?

When Dave turned back from the door I undid my dress and let it fall to the floor. I put my hands behind my back and undid my bra and let it fall, the straps dragging slightly on my arms. I put my thumbs in the waistband of my knickers and pulled them down and off. I left my holdup stockings in place.

"I think that you are over dressed Dave," I said as I lay on the bed, the leg closest to him crooked, just to hide me a little.

I doubt I will ever see someone undress so quickly, and in less than a minute he was naked on the bed.

"I recall exactly what you said that you would do at this point Dave," I said as I lay flat on my back, my legs now flat and spread. I closed my eyes.

"You mentioned you wanted my dick in your mouth Harriet" he said. And I did. I opened my eyes and sat up.

I leant over and placed my mouth around his dick, and then closing my mouth, I sucked as I used my fingers to pull his foreskin down. I lapped at the end of his dick with my tongue, the roughness of my tongue's surface causing it to drag. I moved my mouth up and down, wanking his dick with my lips. I heard him groan and as I slipped a finger between his buttocks he tensed, breathing paused.

I pressed at his sphincter, unrelenting, pushing, his muscles seeming to tighten, I did not relent. A moments gasp and my finger was inside him, I pushed it as far as it would go, pressing at the walls of his bowel, one wall had a bulge, made him start when I pressed at it, his back arching, his dick pulsing.