Josh's lonely reverie blended quickly into sleep, filled with nightmares he didn't remember in the morning. Every bone in his body ached when he pulled himself out of bed early on Tuesday. He moved his head from side to side and heard his neck crack twice. He felt awful and certainly in no shape to go to school – but the alternative...
He made his way, as per usual, down the hall and into the bathroom, where he ran the hottest shower he could tolerate and stood perfectly still underneath the water for half an hour before he was shivering from the cold. He stepped out, dripping water all over the floor, and reached for a towel.
He shied away from green towel on the rack, as he had seen Jacquie wrapped in it once before. He chose instead a black one, worn and coarse, like his mood. He barely registered the complete disappearance of his acne in the mirror, which went against everything he knew – he was supposed to celebrate like there would be no tomorrow once it cleared up completely. Now, however, he only wished there
was
no tomorrow.
She was there, in the kitchen when he went down. No one else was, and so he kept his distance, skirting the edge of the room with an apprehensive disposition. Jacquie saw him.
"Hey," she said, a little dispiritedly, but with perfect civility.
Josh didn't reply, or even nod. He said, "I'm going to school."
"What about breakfast?" Jacquie asked him.
"I'm not hungry."
Jacquie looked hurt. "Oh. Well, OK...I'll see you later."
Josh fumbled for the strap of his school bag. He caught it, swung it over his shoulder and walked quickly to the door. When he was outside, he sagged against it and sighed repentantly.
* * *
School that day was a disastrous affair; one of those days where nothing seems to go right, and nothing seems to go left, and so everyone just walks straight into you. Josh's friends either didn't notice his despondent mood, or didn't care. Either way suited him. He didn't care that they didn't notice and he didn't care that they didn't care.
It was around lunchtime, when Josh was sitting a little outside his circle of friends, staring across the courtyard at Valerie, that he realised what a complete and utter ass he was.
He began to see things from Jacquie's point of view, to comprehend her reasons for suggesting what she had. Really, she was only trying to help. Of course she wouldn't be doing it only for Josh's benefit, but then she probably didn't want or need it as badly as he did. Not that he needed it; he just wanted it. Desperately.
He wasn't so upset about running away last night – he had been extremely nervous and he had simply acted on an impulse; he was more upset about the way he had treated Jacquie this morning. He had ignored her, like a stubborn little boy. He hadn't intended to – and really, if he didn't have Jacquie, who did he have? She was always there for him, always there to help him and joke with him and cheer him up when he felt like absolute crap. And he had abandoned her when she was probably feeling rejected or at least a little foolish.
Josh nearly slapped him self on the forehead. Instead, he stood and took off for his locker, ignoring the calls of his friends, asking him where he was going. He reached his locker, opened it with a few spins of the combination lock and grabbed his bag. He ran home as fast as he could, and thought,
to hell with chemistry
.
When he arrived home, he paused outside the door for a moment to hold his breath and gather his thoughts. Realising there wasn't really much to gather, he opened the door and went inside.
He threw his bag and let it skid across the floor until it hitched up against the bench. Where was she? Not in the kitchen; not in the living room; not in the study. Josh mounted the stairs and peaked inside her room. She was sitting on the bed, clipping her toenails. Perhaps not the most elegant way to appear for a sibling reunion, but Josh would take what he could. He took a step forward and Jacquie looked up.
"Josh," she said, shocked. "What are you doing here?"
Words failed him, at the cruellest of moments. He wracked his brain for something to say and came up with a good old traditional,
"I'm sorry."
Jacquie stared. "For what?"
"Uh...for not having sex with you," Josh said awkwardly. Jacquie's lips began to curl. "But mostly for running away and ignoring you. I was a real jerk."
Jacquie smiled genuinely, her face coming alive and strengthening Josh's resolve. She stood and approached him. "No you weren't," she said, two feet away. "You were just scared. I shouldn't have brought it up so casually. I know it's a big thing for you and I guess I just forgot that."
Josh returned her smile, closed the gap and put his arms around his sister. They hugged tightly for a long while, both of them unmoving.
"So, uh..." Josh said at length, "is your offer still available?"
Jacquie broke the embrace and looked into her brother's eyes. "Only if you're interested."
"Oh, I am," said Josh. "
Very
interested."
Jacquie giggled and shut the door. She sashayed around the bed and retrieved the condom from the drawer, throwing it to Josh.
"We've got," she checked her watch, "an hour before Alice comes home. So it'll have to be a quickie."
"A quickie?" Josh inquired.
"Well, not too much foreplay, is what I mean."
She lay down on the bed and began unbuttoning her blouse. Josh leapt onto the bed beside her and kissed her as she giggled. He yanked his own shirt off, then sidled closer to his sister and kissed her again. Her lips parted eagerly beneath the onslaught of his tongue. Josh felt her sucking on it and couldn't explain the feeling if he tried.
He took his tongue out of Jacquie's mouth and used it to tickle her ear lobes. He planted a row of butterfly kisses along her jaw line and nibbled on her collarbone. She was loving the attention, letting her brother do as he would and hoping she could make him feel this good. As it was his first time with a woman, and as she was his
sister
, she was pretty confident she could make him feel ecstatic. Not to mention she hadn't had sex in quite some time, which would make it great for her too.
Josh had moved on to her breasts, paying them the same curtsey as her face and coating them in saliva. He had to steady himself when he saw Jacquie start to unfasten the buttons on her jeans. He told himself again, that this was what he wanted, and hoped that the tiny little voice of guilt in his head – which was now only a whisper – vanished completely.
Her crotch unbuttoned, Jacquie started to work on Josh's, which was only a zip, and thus came apart much faster. She grabbed hold of her jeans and snaked her hips out of them. Josh realised he had been right on the money concerning her panties; they were lace and black. He wished briefly that she was wearing the matching bra, but then discarded the wish when he looked at her breasts again.
Jacquie leaned forward to help her brother remove his pants, which ended with Josh having to stand up and pull them down. Nevertheless, he was back on the bed within a few seconds, wearing his...
"Jocks. Guess that answers the question." Jacquie smiled.
"I don't wear boxers because my erections are
really
visible when I do. I mean...it makes a tent."
Jacquie's eyes sparkled with amusement. "Ooh, I can't wait to see how big that monster is."
"It's not," said Josh. "...big. It's only average."