Starring the Mountain-Chested Tart Hilda Humper and Her Son With the Twelve Inch Weenie Henry Humper in:
"Once Upon A Tug"
A story that pushes the boundaries of good taste and is written in a joint effort by Victor C. Nathan and Chantal Lefleur.
Henry Humper manuevered his car through the neighborhood that was so familiar to him until he reached his home located on Sex Drive. He eased into the driveway and jumped from the vehicle. Living close to Taft and Adams High School he was able to come home for lunch most days. Henry had had to deal with the usual problems encountered by students in a high school setting. Peer pressure, competing for dates, and trying to keep teachers happy had him a little stressed out, but being a teenage boy, he had managed to work up quite an appetite as the morning passed. The young eighteen-year-old was glad that his mother, school teacher Hilda Humper, was taking a week's vacation from teaching and was home to fix him one of her wonderful home-cooked meals. The minute the high school student stepped into the house, he could smell a delicious aroma wafting from the kitchen.
"Mom, I'm home!" Henry yelled, knowing that she was fixing hamburgers for lunch. "Something smells good too and I'm fucking hungry as shit!"
"Hi, sweetie," his blonde 38-year-old mother greeted him as he strode into the kitchen and his eyes widened as he saw Hilda dressed in nothing but a pair of cut off Daisy Duke jean shorts that barely covered her big round ass and showed off both her abundant posterior and shapely legs to great effect. "How's school going today?"
"Mom, school goes as it always goes," Henry responded. "Same shit, different day. I can't wait until I graduate and get to go away to college. High school is for the lamers."
Henry could, even though she wasn't facing him, make out the curves of both of his mother's giant breasts peeking from the sides of her person. Even though it was his mother, Henry had to admit that Hilda possessed the biggest and most amazing pair of titties that he had ever laid eyes on. He felt a twinge of guilt as he sensed his penis beginning to straighten beneath his work slacks. She hadn't even turned around yet, but Henry already knew how big her knockers were. They were like boulders. Henry took a seat at the table as Hilda continued to work at the stove. A second later, she turned around and smiled before stepping closer and taking a seat across from him, Henry losing his breath as he saw Hilda's legendary Humper titties quivering as she sat, the flesh of her round basketball boobies rippling as they bobbed. What made them look even more cartoonish was the fact that she had a very narrow and slender waist, one that contradicted her round fanny and megaton bomb bazooms. The young male Humper could not help but look at them as they shook, their rosebud nipples pointy with spacious areola. His mother was definitely casual about her body and pranced about the house topless, or sometimes completely naked, the minute it got warm outside.
"Gee, it's fucking hot today," Hilda commented, grinning at him amusedly as his eyes tried to find a reasonable place to remain. "If I had balls, I would be sweating my balls off. Lunch will be ready in a few minutes, honey. You okay?"
"Geez, Mom. I think they must grow as you sleep or something," Henry laughed, sporting a sheepish grin. "They look bigger every time I see them. Yeah, it must have been hot today. Your boobs are sweating like crazy."
Henry noticed that right at her cleavage, she was glistening with perspiration. What knockers she had. His mother reached down with a dish towel and dabbed between her tits with it.
"What a scorcher!" Hilda exclaimed as she wiped off each drop of sweat from her assets. "These dog days of summer get my big ol' teatsie weatsies dripping and all hot and sweaty wetty."
"No shit!" Henry agreed, feeling his large wee wee grow slightly larger and experiencing more guilt about the inappropriateness of his natural reaction to a set of knockers with all the subtlety of Mount Everest. "Did you have a good vacation day today, Mom? Restful?"
"Well, Henry," Hilda responded thoughtfully. "I've been keeping pretty busy, trying to catch up on the chores around the house. And this heat is a killer."
"Oh, come on, Mom," Henry retorted with a wink as his pupils still were expanded from the eyeful of tittie he had been taking in. "That can't be all that happened today. A Humper vacation always ends up much more interesting."
"Oh, Henry," Hilda giggled girlishly. "You know me far too well. Tee hee hee. I did stop for a little while early this morning to give the paperboy a nice wee wee wash, and I had a quick tumble with the courier who dropped off a package."
"I'll bet those big fucking titties of yours got the UPS man way upppppp! Ha ha ha!" Henry chortled like a kid hearing a dirty joke, as his enormous wee wee, which by this point was stretched to a full twelve inches from all the sex talk and naked boobies, pressed hard into the wooden underside of the kitchen table.
"Tee hee hee, Henry," she chortled in return. "And I'll bet my little story has gotten your wee wee way up too. Hee hee. That naughty fucking wee wee of yours is always turning into a stiffy."
"Wow, Mom!" Henry exclaimed. "Your story and your titties have given me a huge stiffy."
"Tee hee hee," Hilda responded, laughing naughtily. "My titties often seem to have that effect. I see you looking at them sometimes when you think I haven't noticed."
"Gee, Mom," he responded in an embarrassed tone. "I can't help it if you have the best rack in the whole town."
"You're damn right I do," Hilda said, turning and bringing the food she had prepared to the table for her hungry boy.
As she came over to set his plate adorned with a hamburger and fries before him, she glanced beneath the table and whistled with admiration at the stalk that jutted from his crotch up and then collided with the wood of the tabletop's bottom.
"Holy shit, sweetie. You weren't kidding when you said my story had given you a stiffy. That fucker looks like he is about to drill right through wood and come up for a look at what we are having for lunch."
"Ha, ha, very funny, Mom," Henry replied. "It's no fucking joke to have a hard-on like this. It's so damn frustrating. Sometimes I get so horny that I can hardly stand it."
"Aww, sweetie, I understand," Hilda responded sympathetically. "You're young and those hormones are pretty powerful. I know it is hard for you sometimes, no pun intended. Tee hee hee."
"Oh, Mom," replied Henry wistfully. "You don't know the half of it. Why, today at school, I had the hots for this new girl in my class and I got an erection just looking at her and thinking about how great it would be to be with her. One of the guys in my class saw that I had a woody and the whole class ended up laughing at me. I was mortified."
"Oh, Henry," said Hilda, rising from the table to give her son a hug. "Do you need Mama to help you feel better, sweetie?"
"All I am saying is that I was fucking embarrassed as shit," Henry snapped, angry at the memory of the day's events as Hilda put her arm around his shoulder and her right boob bumped against his ear in a not at all unpleasant way.
It looked like a cannonball, but was softer, but firm and not cold and solidified. Henry still had to admit that every girl he took to bed came up short in the tittie department when compared to his mother. It had just been two years since Hilda had weaned him from nursing her big mams, and since then the milk had ceased to be produced by her knockers. He had quit nursing the day he got his driver's license. It had been a long goodbye, but had finally happened.
"I'm really sorry you're having such a bad day, Henry," his mother said soothingly. "Would it help any if Mama gave you a nice tug, sweetie? Lunch can wait until wee wee gets his hunger sated."
"I really don't know, Mom," replied Henry somewhat morosely. "Last time you did that Harriet walked in on us and she has never stopped teasing me about it. Her teasing got on my nerves. She even threatened to tell all my friends about it, but they already know all about it and they think it's cool. Why, they think you're the coolest mom ever."
"Aww, what a sweet thing for them to say," his mother responded. "But there is no need to worry about Harriet. She has gone shopping for the day and won't be home until later this afternoon. I think you could use a good tug, baby. It would help release some of that tension in your wee wee and make that awful heaviness in your sack get lighter."
Reaching down with one of her dainty and perfectly manicured hands, Hilda grasped the shaft of Henry's wee wee through his trousers and pulled him to his feet.
"Come on, Henry," she urged him. "Mama can make Henry feel all better."
"Well," Henry said with a sheepish grin. "Maybe it would help a little bit. My trouser snake is pretty tense and feels pretty frustrated. Geez, your boobies always send the blood rushing to the right location. But you know what, Mom? If I were with anyone but you I could get a nice wee wee wash and I think I deserve one after the morning I've had, but I guess even the Humpers have to have some taboos and standards."
"You are absolutely right, baby," Hilda replied proudly. "My standards may be low, but by God, I have them. Tee hee hee."
"My breasts always have a big effect on wee wees, poopsie," Hilda giggled, taking her hand off his wee wee stick for a second and giving him a soothing hug, her megaton bomb boobs pressing hard against his lower chest as her arms wrapped around him and embraced his muscular frame innocently and with much love and affection. "You've been suckling Mama's big bouncy knockers since you were a baby. And for sixteen years my big boy got to feed from Mama's milk balloons. Now that you're older, there are other ways to soothe you when you get down and depressed. What do you think?"
"Gee, Mom," said Henry earnestly. "Perhaps a nice tug would help me feel better. It's pretty rough when your whole class laughs at you just for getting a rise in your pants looking at a pretty girl."
"I know, sweetie," Hilda responded. "Boys can't help that pretty titties make them hot and bothered. It's just how teenage boys are. So we'll put off lunch for just a little while and I will take care of that big appetite in your wee wee."
Letting go of her son's frame, Hilda reached down once again and grabbed his fully erect wee wee in her hand and started to pull him out of the kitchen and down the hall towards the living room. Once inside, she turned to her boy, undid his belt buckle and unfastened the button at the top of his trousers. Pulling them down by the waistband, she let them slide to the floor and held onto Henry while he stepped out of them and kicked them aside.
"Holy shit!" exclaimed Hilda as she took in the huge bulge in his Fruit Of The Looms. "That is one fucking huge wee wee you have, Henry. And look at your poor ballsack. Why that sucker is hanging lower than I have ever seen before. You need Mama to help clean out those pipes and lighten the load in your ballies a little."
Hilda's hand moved down to his crotch once more and the fingers of her right hand closed around his fabric-encased hard-on. Hilda's fingers tenderly began to rub and stroke the rigid shaft of flesh as she smiled sweetly at him and watched his reaction to her pulling.
"Oh, he's so bigggggg, Henry! Does that feel good, sweetie? Having Mama rub wee wee?"
Hilda's triple J cup twin mountains bobbed and shook as she fondled his private parts. The way her titties jiggled, wiggled and bounced was such a turn on that Henry thought he might come spontaneously.
"Oh, it feels fucking good, Mom," Henry sighed with closed eyes. "So good to my wee wee, but it's got to be upstairs. Aaaaahhhhhh! I don't want Harriet coming home early and prancing into the living room and getting in the way of a tug. The slut will probably drag home some boy from the mall and be all keyed up about sucking him off."
