Life was simply crap, how else can I describe what I have become, I'm nothing more than a sad alcoholic, the only thing my life revolves around is found in a bottle.
My first wife died after being run down by a drunk driver, leaving me with two teenage girls, the pain of losing her took a long time to ease and even though I remarried the ache in my heart would often return to haunt me.
My second marriage lasted only a year, Sandy just couldn't cope with my rebellious daughters where as I was laid back about them. Yes they could and did misbehave but isn't that what eighteen year olds do and in time I knew they would grow out of it.
So here I was sat in front of the television a half-empty bottle of Brandy my only company the best painkiller around. Filling my glass once more to the rim I took a long gulp and I relaxed back in my armchair, my eyes closed for just a second and I fell into a disturbed sleep.
I awoke at around 9am the next morning and much to my surprise I found myself in bed, I didn't remember going to bed or getting undressed but then I suppose that's a direct result of being an alcoholic the mind just blanks itself out.
I remember when I was a teenager, going out most nights and getting paralytic drunk and yet like a homing pigeon I always managed to find my way home, it seems it still works as I manage to make it to my bed each night.
The blacking out and not remembering climbing the stairs took a strange twist one night when I drank a lot less than normal simply because I had food poisoning. I fell asleep in my chair and the next morning I wasn't so fuzzy headed and swore that I had been carried up the stairs to bed. I asked my daughters if they had taken me to bed but they both denied it so I put it down to just a dream. The next night it happened again and once more they acted like they didn't know what I was talking about.
I was scared in case I was losing my mind which given the circumstances was not beyond possibility, but I had to find out whether it was the drink causing it or my daughters showing me more care than I deserved.
The following evening I sat watching the television my bottle and glass beside me, the only difference this time was that I had only one drink, just enough to make sure my breath smelt of liquor. Around midnight I closed my eyes and pretended I was sleeping, I almost replied when I heard my daughter Jane call my name but just in time I switched my mouth off.
"He's spark out as usual," I heard Jane say.
"Nothing new there then," came a reply from my other daughter Sue. "You want to grab his other arm," she continued.
With relative ease they lifted me from the chair, my legs dragged behind me as they slowly climbed the stairs and manoeuvred me into my bedroom dropping me unceremoniously onto the bed.
