On a Remote Hilltop

Chapter 4

The sun shined into the old house as if it was sitting in the doorway. The birds seemed to be screaming at each other and somehow even the chickens were making an awful racket.

Tabitha's head pounded with each heartbeat and her body did not want to move even though her mind wanted to escape the sensory onslaught. She tried opening her eyes but needed to rub off some sleep sticking to her eyelashes.

The light burned her vision and made her head ache more. The clucking was so loud!

Tim's hand was entrenched in her butt crack. She removed it with enough effort to earn her more head throbs, then sat up in a slump. The room was so bright, and the clucking didn't make sense.

Taking a few deep breaths, she scooted her legs over the bed and rested a minute before putting her feet on the cool floor.

A wave of nausea overcame her, and she plodded out through the open door and into the sun. She hurled her dinner into the grass and went to her knees. She heard Tim retching somewhere close.

After a few minutes of recovery time, Tim and Tabitha met at a water barrel. They drank and washed their faces, then sat in the shade leaning against each other.

"I feel terrible." Tim murmured.

Tabitha didn't feel the need to respond to the obvious, she couldn't spare the effort. "The door was open. Chickens are in the house. Did you see Toby before you came out?" She managed to say while trying to ignore her head.

"No, I felt my stomach getting sick and I ran outside. I didn't see him, but I wasn't looking."

"We need to get some clothes on." Tabitha finally noticed that both she and Tim were naked. "And we need to find Toby. Maybe he's sick, too."

"What happened, why are we sick? Why does my head hurt?" Tim muttered while rubbing his temples.

"It's the dark side." Tabitha let that hang in the air, pondering it herself. "The vino has a dark side. It's what Toby said. This is probably what he means."

"Last night was great. The whole evening: the dinner, the fun we had at the table, Toby telling us about vino and, holy cow... bedtime and the way you put me into your mouth." Tim smiled at the thought ignoring the pain.

Tabitha let Tim's words walk her through the evening. He was right, it was a lot of fun, but hard to be joyous about it right now. She kissed him on the cheek and hoisted herself up fighting off a minor nausea wave, then headed into the house.

Tim enjoyed the view of her walking away. Damn he loved her rear.

He was jolted out of his visual stimulation when a goat butted him in the shoulder. The goats are out? That didn't make sense. Tim fought off the fog in his mind and tried to think clearly.

The door was open, chickens in the house, the goats are out, and Toby was not inside. The sun is up - is it mid-morning? What is on the chore list today?

He stood up, went to the barrel and washed his mid-section off then headed inside.

Tabitha was clearing the remaining dinner items. There were three empty bottles of vino. She turned to Tim, "I don't remember three bottles last night. I remember getting the second one. When did we start drinking the third one?"

Tim had some dream like memories of opening bottles but couldn't distinguish them. "Not sure about that, it all is a bit fuzzy."

Tabitha handed him a cup of tea. "We need to find Toby."

"Maybe he went to plant the terraces or he's in the barn. The goat pen was open, so I need to find out what that's all about, but we definitely need to talk to Toby about a lot of things."

Dressed and feeling a little better, they parted, looking for Toby while trying to restore order to the farm.

Tabitha made a small trail of breadcrumbs from inside the house to the yard and the chickens happily followed the path. She then went to collect eggs keeping her eye out for Toby.

Tim let the goats wander to hopefully trim the spring weeds around the buildings. He checked the barn, letting Elley and her babies out to play and forage. Since Toby was not there, he went to check the fields.

Tabitha had collected a bounty of eggs in her basket but dropped them when she caught sight of Toby who was on the ground with his back against a tree near the path. Tabitha ran toward him releasing all the fearful thoughts that she fought so hard to not think about. Tears ran down her cheeks as she ran to him. "Toby! Toby!" she cried.

He did not turn to look at her until she slid to a halt at his side. Then very slowly he turned his gray face and looked at his Tabitha through his glassy eyes. "Oh, my flower, don't cry. I am still hear." Toby's weak voice spoke volumes about his condition.

Tabitha cupped his face and touched his shoulders, not knowing what to do but wanting to help. To care for him while her fears ran wild. "Come, let me get you in bed to rest." She sobbed, trying to encourage him to get better, to allay the thoughts that he would not be well again. "You'll feel better after some breakfast and..."

"Tabby... he said gently, interrupting her anguished commands. "Hush my flower. Be still. I have much to tell you, there is so much more you need to know."

Tabitha gave him a red face full of pain and tears with a forced smile while nodding. She would listen to everything; her entire focus was on Toby and the moment.

Toby offered a weak smile and a small nod. "Good, that's my girl. Now listen carefully." He paused to gather his thoughts that he wanted to share for some time. He could not focus well on the order, so he began with the most current. "I see you and Tim have begun to swive." Toby cracked a small smile recalling when he and Tilda first became physical lovers.

Tabitha's face, in all its concern, was still able to look perplexed. "Swive?" She repeated in sad confusion.

"Swive, or knack, is another way of saying it. When you two loved each other last night. You made quite the joyful noise." Toby wheezed and coughed feebly as a chuckle came forth.

"You knew what we were doing? We didn't know and still don't know what we are doing, we just discovered... 'swive?' a few days ago. It has been a lot of fun and feels amazing, but we didn't know if it was fine or why you didn't tell us we could do that. How come we had to find out on our own? You taught us everything, but not to swive? It seems like that would be something we should know about." Tabitha's questions and thoughts began pouring out.

Toby held up his hand to slow Tabitha. "Hold a minute and I'll do my best to explain." Toby took a few slow and deep breaths, trying not to trigger a painful cough. "First, your bodies must be old enough for that kind of thing. Remember a few years ago before you grew those..." He nodded toward her breasts. "And before you had any hair between your legs?"

Tabitha nodded and Toby continued. "You were not ready, and neither was Tim. If I explained to you back then all the wonderful things you

can't do

, what would you and Tim want to do the moment I wasn't around?"

Tabitha did not audibly answer, she just stared, hanging on to everything he was saying. She knew that when she was told not to do something, she really wanted to do it.

"Also, I never knew if I should say anything. That if you two figured it out, then that is when it was the right time." Toby paused for another deep breath. "Just from what I heard last night, it sounds like you two have figured it out pretty well." He smiled wide, in his happiness for them.

"I don't know if we are doing it right. Each time is different in some ways. We haven't figured out the way it needs to be done so we can do it the right way." Tabitha believed that all tasks had an order to them. Planting - harvesting - storing. Cooking - eating - cleaning. Wash - dry - put away. There was no reason for her to think differently about the 'task' she now had a word for.

It was Toby's turn to stare. "You beautiful flower. Tabby, the beauty of swive is that there is no right or wrong way to enjoy each other. As long as you both are enjoying it, then it is good." He paused to gather his thoughts. "There are a few things that are probably obvious, but I'll say them anyway. Be respectful of what Tim wants and he should respect what you want. Each of you should do your best to please each other, and your happiness will blossom." He paused again. "Oh, umm, you should pee after swive. Tilda told me that. Something about keeping her tulips clean. Oh, and you may start to grow a child at some point."

Tabitha was following until he mentioned growing a child. Her stomach turned upside down. "What? Why would I grow a child? How do you grow a child? What does that have to do with swive?"

Toby held his hand up again as Tabitha rapidly fired questions. "Tabby, I've told you about your monthly bleed? That it's normal? Well, it stops when you have a child growing in you but comes back again after giving birth. It has something to do with children, but I don't know what."

Tabitha was growing confused, so she changed the subject. "I put Tim's little man in my mouth, and he liked it."

Toby wheezed and coughed, caught off guard by the statement that Tabitha announced so boldly. He was laughing but, in his condition, it looked and felt like, painful convulsions. Tabitha began to see that he was laughing as his spasms relented.

"I bet he did!" Toby managed to say through his labored laughter.

"So that's fine then?" She asked innocently and still very concerned for Toby's health. "I thought he would like that after licking my tulips."

Toby rolled in spasms again, holding his hand up to stop Tabitha from killing him.

"Fine, yes, fine. That's all good." Toby managed once his breath returned. "Like I said, do what you like as long as it's enjoyable. Keep trying new things and just have fun with it." Toby changed his tone and said, "Look, you two need each other in all ways. Swive is comforting as much as it is enjoyable. It is a way to express your love or your excitement, or just because you want to do it. It is a way to be close and let the other know they are needed and wanted. Do you understand what I am saying?"

Tabitha nodded her head trying to take it all in.

Toby continued with other information he needed to tell them. He covered birthing, breast feeding, and care for an infant as best he could. He suggested she and Tim write down as much as they could so they wouldn't forget anything.

Tim arrived after looking all over for both of them. He was in a panic, but Tabitha calmed him and gave him a quick summary and that they needed to listen to everything Toby was saying.

Although Tim was not on the same page as Tabitha and Toby, he quieted himself and joined the lecture.

Farming, breeding, storage, maintenance, and many other things that Toby could not quite recall if he ever taught them. Tim had run back to the house to grab their paper and ink. He wrote in small, neat characters so he took the notes.

"Village Road is dangerous." Toby's wisdom seemed endless. "If the blade breaks or the tools fail and can't be repaired, you may have to go into the village. It's a good hike. Take your bow and knife. Some people are not friendly, actually some can be the opposite of friendly. Sometimes they can act friendly but then turn on you and attack you." Tim and Tabitha were stunned at what Toby was saying.

Other people? Friendly and not friendly? Acting like friends, but not friends?

The sun was high in the sky and Toby's mouth was dry. Tim and Tabitha got him to stand, but he could not walk on his own. Tim helped Toby relieve himself and nearly carried him to the house. He didn't want to go inside, but to sit on the bench resting his back against the wall. He wanted to look out at all the beautiful hills and valleys.

He had some water and ate a little, then began telling them more of his knowledge. "It takes vino time to ferment to give it that fun kick. Too soon and it's juice, too long and it's not vino..."

Tim interrupted him. "About the vino, Tabitha and I were sick this morning. Our heads hurt and we threw up."

Toby nodded. "Yes, that can be a problem in the morning. Drink and it's fun, but drink too much and you just might pay for it in the morning."

"How much is too much?" They both wanted to know.

"You will have to figure that one out on your own." Was Toby's only reply.

"I want to be buried next to Tilda. After I die. Don't try to bury me before that." He tried to make a joke to lighten the instruction, but it did not work.

"Toby, we are not ready to be alone. You can't go, we need you. How can we live without you?" Tim implored while Tabitha had gone inside after Toby's attempt at a joke.

"With only two mouths to feed, the farm will produce more than enough food for the two of you. You can cart some into the village to trade for things that you might need. Things that can make your lives a little easier. But like I said, be careful. Be friendly but be cautious. Kindness can be given, but trust must be earned." Toby changed the subject. "Tim, she will need you now more than ever. Care for and comfort her in all ways."

"I will, you know I will."

"Yes, just as I took care of Tilda as we grew up together, so you must now care for Tab."

Tim's mind began churning on what Toby just said as Tabitha came back outside carrying some biscuits.

"As you grew up together?" Tim inquired, always eager to learn about Toby's childhood and especially a story about him and Tilda, that was new to him.

"Just as you two have shared your bed since birth, so had Tilda and I." Toby divulged their family heritage. "We were just like you. Always playing, always arguing, always together. One day long ago, we discovered swive and it deepened our bond. We were inseparable. We loved each other and loved to love each other." Tears began rolling down Toby's weathered face. "I miss her. It's like I can still feel her sometimes. Like I can turn around and she should be there."

Tim and Tabitha joined Toby in his grief as they sat in front of the bench learning from and honoring the only person they knew in the world beside each other.

"I need to rest. You two go do your chores. I will take a little rest. We can talk some more later." With that, Toby closed his eyes and appeared to doze off, sitting on the bench with his back against the wall.

Tim took Tabitha by the hand and walked to the barn. When they were inside, he hugged her closely. Breathing in her scent while wrapping her up.

Tabitha let herself be held. She was mentally and emotionally exhausted. "I can't think about chores. I dropped all the eggs this morning and I don't even know what's on the list for today. I can only think about Toby and if he is about to..."

Tim cut her off. "We are not going to do that. We can't mourn him while he is still with us." Tim had pulled away to speak into Tabitha's face, staring into her eyes. "Let's put our minds on what we need to do today while he rests. As soon as he is awake again, we can go be with him. Just for now, let's take care of a few things."

Tabitha kissed him. It started with need and grew into desperation. They poured their emotions through their mouths and tongues. Their faces danced, held together by their passion. They both wanted more, but knew it was not the time. They finally broke apart and let their expressions communicate the complexities that words failed to provide.

______

Toby fell asleep on the bench in front of the house. He drifted off to be with Tilda, flying into her waiting arms.

______

Drained, missing one of the three pillars of their existence, Tim and Tabitha had no tears remaining as they moved a stone over Toby's freshly filled grave.

Without thought, and lost in the blurring and mind-numbing grief, they went to the stream to wash before heading back up the hill. The act of removing their clothes did not elicit the same response as days earlier. This was a solemn time. They needed each other's presence, but not in a physical way, just to be near, without words, without thought.

They did not put their dirty clothes back on for the walk to the house. They entered and Tabitha sat at the table staring at nothing. Tim stoked the fireplace coals and added a log, then took out one of Toby's vino bottles. He uncorked it and poured two glasses. They both stared at the liquid, then into each other. Tabitha picked up her glass and drank it down in two gulps. Tim only took one as Tabitha had got up from the table and walked to him. He scooted his chair back and she sat on his lap facing him.

Tabitha looked at Tim in a new way. She touched his face and hair, stroked his neck and shoulders, then kissed his forehead. She wrapped her arms around his head pressing his face in between her breasts. She then backed away a few inches and moved her left breast to Tim's mouth which he began to mouth immediately, gently sucking on her nipple and as much breast as would fit in his mouth. She moved the other one to his mouth and he repeated his affection.

Tabitha leaned back, savoring the attention to her breast and began moving her hips on top of Tim's growing erection. She reached back to the table and downed Tim's remaining vino. Then arched forward and kissed him with vino covered lips and tongue, letting the liquid run from her mouth down her chest. Tim licked and slurped the streams and drips up and down her chest and back up her chin to her mouth again.

Tabitha was swaying her body in a hypnotic way as she rubbed Tim's hardness over every inch between her legs, then settled on his tip and let it slide inside her very wet opening.

Tim tried to thrust but could only move an inch. Tabitha did the work, grinding Tim while her hips danced on his waist.

Tabitha whimpered in passionate tones as she rolled her body. She arched back again trying to take more of Tim inside of her and leaned back so far her should blades rested on the table.

Tim was treated the view below; his manhood penetrating Tabitha's tulips, her swollen lips, the bud on top and the wetness coating everything. He stood, picking her up without disengaging and placing her flat on the table. He lifted her legs and hugged them to his body as he immediately began to pull back and plunge deep, faster and faster, rocking the heavy table as Tabitha's cries grew louder.

He held her legs with one arm, moving his free hand down to where he felt himself gliding in and out of her sending tingles of pleasure through both of them. Then he slid his fingers up a few inches to her bud and let them slide all over it, massaging it like he did with his tongue.

Tabitha began to make near screaming sounds as her pleasure sensors replaced her consciousness.

The sounds, the stimulation, the need, the emotion, the deep cry of inner mourning all erupted into a soul shaking orgasm, releasing its energy in timeless waves impossible to measure.

Tim released her legs and rested forward on Tabitha's chest. Quickly realizing the uncomfortable nature of this position, her scooped his arm behind her shoulders and lifted her of the table, using his other arm as a seat for her butt.

Still hard and inside her, he gently walked to the fireplace and lay down with her. Tabitha was a rag doll, emotionally and physically spent. Tim waited to deflate then grabbed a few blankets and pillows, positioning her on top of them so she could face the embers. He lay behind her, caressing her shoulder and her hair.

Tabitha cuddled into him, and he did his best to let his body swallow her, wrapping her in a blanket secured by his arms while their skin bonded beneath.

Tabitha heaved a few labored breaths as if coming down from a long hard crying session. She was bonded to Tim in her mind, in her spirit, and physically. She was learning what loss was, the hole, the void it creates, and the need to cherish the man who was holding her so gently and securely. She felt safe, despite her grief.