I trailed behind my wife with the trolley becoming increasingly loaded with food and household goods. We'd only really come to the Bulk Supply store for the inflatable kiddies pool advertised in a flyer (the perfect gift for our five year olds birthday) but had been sidetracked by all the discounts and I admit I was sharing my wife's enthusiasm.
"Check it out!" I called back to her as I discovered the bulk olive oil. "Five litres for $25. That's ridiculously cheap."
Toni screwed her face up looking at the large aluminium container. "It's a bit big isn't it?"
"I can decant into smaller bottles," I reasoned, already reaching for the can.
"Alright chuck it in," she conceded and I loaded it in snugly beside the years supply of instant coffee and what looked like a lifetimes supply of cookies.
"We need alcohol for Saturday," I pointed out, steering the trolley in the direction of.
"It's a kids party Leo," my wife quickly rebutted.
"Yes, but remember our mother's are going to be there, Honey," I explained. "I'll need a stiff drink just to get through."
Toni laughed and rested a hand on the trolley. "God you're right. Good thing they sell in bulk."
It was a comical situation. Our respective parents had never really got along; well, more so our mothers. And since the loss of both fathers, one to heart disease, the other to his twenty two year old secretary, the antagonism had only worsened.
Toni had jokingly hinted at sexual frustration which when it came to my mother didn't bare thinking about but when posited on my mother-in-law had me awake at nights in all manner of fantasy. In her late fifties, my wife's mother had since day one held a soft spot in my heart (or more to the point a hard spot in my pants.) Simply an older, chubbier version of my wife, Gina had an intangible sex appeal that always caught my eye and in full knowledge of such it seemed, wore clothing to match.
"It's alright for you," I added. "I'm the one that'll be spending most of the day with them."
Both had offered to come early and help set up the party. Loathe to have them together for any length of time but knowing if one of them found out the other was participating more, the fireworks would be greater, we'd accepted their proposals.
"Well you're welcome to chaperone ten toddlers at a trampoline park if you'd like," Toni scoffed, reminding me of how she'd be spending the day and I quickly dropped my misguided complaining.
"One or two?" Toni asked, holding up the bottles of champagne.
I left the trolley and took down two bottles myself. "Get them all, where gonna need it!"
* * * * *
The day was hotter than predicted but perfect weather for our daughter Maisy's birthday. When asked what kind of party she had wanted her response was surprising but not out of the blue. 'Beach party' she had declared, her current fascination with the Little Mermaid having a lot to do with her decision.
My mother-in-law had arrived first and I set her to decorating the walls with detachable fish decals and placing seaweed-like tinsel over the furniture and shelves. I was delighted to see she'd dressed appropriately for the theme and admit I took every opportunity to ogle her body as she worked. Wearing a dark green bikini top, her breasts bulged out of the thin material, the hint of nipple becoming more pronounced as the air conditioning began to kick in. A black sarong around her waist hid her large rear but now and then the flash of upper thigh gave me weeks worth of 'wank bank' deposits.
"I thought Imogen would be here by now," Gina commented before peering over her champagne flute towards me as she sipped.
As if on cue, the doorbell rang and I raised my eyebrows at Gina. "That'd be her!" I began to head to the door and stopped, looking back at my mother-in-law.
"I know, I know," she giggled. "Best behaviour."
I couldn't help smiling and admittedly felt more than my usual attraction towards her. Did she know, I wondered? Did she feel it too?
Mom stood at the door with a birthday present under one arm and a bottle of gin under the other. I invited her in with pleasantries and a kiss and as I followed her back down the hall I commented on the alcohol. "We have booze here Mom, you didn't need to bring anything."
She laughed and looked over her shoulder. "Just being prepared Darling. If I have to spend any time with that dreadful woman I'm making sure I'm...Gina!" My mother quickly changed her tack when her eyes met the other woman's. "How nice to see you again Dear," she lied.
"Imogen, you look lovely," Gina managed. I watched my mother lean into her rival to exchange a kiss, the long white beach shirt she wore pressing her back and rear. The lines of a bikini were clearly visible and it took me by somewhat of a surprise as I couldn't recall my mother ever donning the style of swimsuit, even in my youth.
So far so good, I figured. The fact they'd not verbally or God forbid, physically attacked each other as yet was a welcoming sign. Gina even offered to pour my mother a glass of champagne which she pleasantly accepted. Maybe things would be different between them for once? I should have known that would be too much to ask for.
"Who put up the fish stickers?" My mother asked. "They're way too high. It's a five year olds birthday party, the kids won't even see them up there!"
"I did Imogen and if you'd been here on time maybe you could have supervised." Gina defended herself.
"I was in traffic!" Mom explained.
"Grid lock at the drive-thru liquor store?" Gina accused, throwing fuel on the fire.
"Um, I seem to recall it was you who was well into the alcohol when I arrived Gina," Mom challenged.
"I opened the champagne!" I quickly stated, hoping to quell the growing argument. "Mom, the fish are fine where they are and Gina, what did we just talk about?"
Gina pouted her bottom lip before slumping her shoulders. "Being on my best behaviour," she eventually responded, acting I noticed like a disobedient schoolgirl.
I turned back to Mom. "That goes for both of you."
Mom had been grinning but her demeanour changed when I focussed on her. "Oh yes sir!" She mocked then jokingly added. "What, are you going to spank us if we don't?"
There was a moment of silence in the room as her words I think registered in all our brains. Gina's eyes noticeably widened and I could see my mother begin to blush around the collar. "If needs be!" I half joked and felt my own face redden at the thought. "Now, I have to blow up Maisy's pool. I was going to do it outside but I'm fearful to leave you two together. Can you at least be trusted to not kill each other while I go and get it?"
"Yes sir," my mother and mother-in-law answered in unison before looking to each other and sharing a chuckle; a moments truce in their ongoing war.
"Good. Now, if you guys could make a salad and open the snacks while I take care of this, that would be great," I advised and it seemed civility remained as I went to the garage to get the pool.
* * * * *
"No, everything's fine here!" I lied to Toni on the other end of the line. I could hear the excited screaming of an army of five year olds in the background and wondered which of us had the worst job.
"Well we've got another hour booked here," Toni explained. "We should be home around four. Do we need anything else? Have you pumped up the pool?"
"No and I'm just doing that now. Relax and we'll see you when you get back." The sound of raised voices from inside the house diverted my attention. "I love you Babe, gotta go."
"...was a stupid thing to do!"
"Why?" Gina fired back.
"Ah, you've never heard of nut allergies? Stupid woman," Mom spat.
"Hey, Mom!" I broke in. "Enough. What's going on?"
"She put nuts right next to the chips on the platter," my mother explained.
Placing down the inflatable pool I approached the bench-top to survey the scene.
"Yeah sorry Gina, I have to agree with Mom," I stated. "Just a precautionary matter. I don't know if any of the kids have allergies but to be on the safe side maybe don't put the nuts out."
I looked back at my mother. "But you need to apologize."
Her smug look of satisfaction turned to surprise. "What for?"
"Ah your language. What's going on? I said best behaviour."
Biting her bottom lip, my mother looked across to Gina. "I apologize if I was abrupt."
"Apology accepted," Gina smiled before looking at me and winking. It was such a sexy little gesture and thankfully went unnoticed by my mother.
"Ok. Now I'm going to blow up this pool," I declared. "No more fighting. Please."
The accompanying foot pump was about as effective as blowing with my lungs and ever so slowly the small pink and yellow pool began to inflate. The air conditioner had gone into rest mode and the room had begun to heat up causing me to begin sweating. Not wanting to stop now that I'd started, I quickly removed my t-shirt leaving me in only board shorts.
Without much to do but stand and pump with my foot, I watched the goings on in the kitchen, my mom and Gina working well together creating a salad. They discussed a television show they both had been watching and I was glad they'd finally found some common ground. My eyes quickly turned from their doings to their beings. Gina's smooth tanned back, her laden bikini top. I could see the silhouette of the bottoms through the black sarong, hugging her large ass cheeks and down my eyes drifted. To her feet in flip flops, red nail polish on her toes.
Without much thought, I examined my mother. With her long brown hair in a pony tail, her makeup as always impeccable. As I'd noted earlier, her bikini was visible through the shirt which dropped down mid thigh. It was definitely black, the tie visible above her collar. She was barefoot which I'd not noticed until then and like Gina had red nail polish. A random image of my mother-in-law at my mom's feet applying the polish came to mind and although an attractive sight, I allowed it to slowly drift from my psyche.