As Judy pulled into the drive, she noticed her son's road-worn Honda parked in front of the garage. It was a bad sign. Even though she missed his presence in the house, she wanted to see him under better circumstances. It was the middle of the week and Rod attended a university that was 100 miles away. He rarely came home on weekends unless it was a long holiday weekend or an extended break in classes.
"Knock - knock" Judy said as she pushed open the door to Rod's room, which was ajar.
"Hey, mom." Rod said without taking his eyes off the ceiling as he lay on his bed in a pair of loose colorful boxer shorts and a faded heather gray T-shirt.
"I didn't expect to see you until Spring Break. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" Judy said, sitting down on the bed next to him.
"I don't want to talk about it, mom." Rod said.
"Well, you're missing classes, right? As I'm paying a lot of tuition money, I'd say it's a fair question. You're doing alright with your classes?" Judy pressed.
"Classes are fine, mom." Rod replied.
Judy didn't expect that he was suffering any kind of academic suspension, but wanted to get the easy possibilities out of the way first. While Rod had his strong and weak subjects, he managed B's even in the classes that he found challenging. However, she knew all too well that kids go through phases, and the overstimulation of college could cause problems. Judy tried another tack. "Are you in some kind of trouble?"
"No, mom. It's personal. It's not something I can talk to you about." Rod said.
"It's about a girl?" Judy continued to press.
"I don't want to talk about it." Rod said.
Judy took that as a "yes", and didn't want to lose momentum. "Is it Sherry? Are you still seeing her?"
"No...I'm not." Rod said.
Judy had never met Sherry, and had no real basis to make judgments about the girl. She had seen Sherry's picture. The girl was pleasant enough looking. She was a natural blond with Germanic looks. She looked like the kind of girl you'd see waitressing in a beer garden during Oktoberfest. Judy had instinctually liked Sherry, but didn't know why. She wondered if it wasn't because Sherry reminded Judy of herself. Her son's girlfriend had long straight hair that was worn in a pony-tail in each of the photos Judy had seen, while Judy had a short and thick wavy coiffure. Otherwise, however, they shared the characteristics of being blond, bosomy, and cherubic faced.
"So what happened with Sherry?" Judy continued the full-court press.
"Mom, I really don't want to talk about it... I'm thinking about transferring schools."
"You mean start somewhere else in the fall after you finish out this semester? You know you'll have to start applying right now to have any shot of that working, don't you?" She asked.
"I meant starting somewhere else in the fall, and not going back this semester." Rod said.
"Out of the question. We've already paid tuition, and you're past deadline for drops. I'd be out the entire amount of tuition and fees." Judy said.
"Uh-huuh." Rod grunted acknowledgement.
"Let's figure out what the problem is, and I'll help you get through it."
"I can't go back, there."
"Why not? You tell me your grades are OK and that you are not in any trouble. Sherry's not pregnant is she?" Judy asked.
"Mom... no she's not pregnant."
"But you've broken up and you don't want to see her again? That's understandable, but..."
"It's not just her." Rod interrupted.
"There are other girls?"
"No... that's the problem." Rod said the latter part under his breath.
"Why is that?" Judy pressed.
"I really don't want to talk about it, OK." Rod said in an assertive tone.
"You have to talk about this. I need to know why you want to toss this semester's tuition in the trash."
"I can't go back there, and face..."
"What? Face what, exactly?"
"Sherry and I broke up, after we... all the girls think I'm not good at it and have..." Rod said giving in.
"Have what?" Judy continued to press.
"A tiny dick." Rod said, defeated.
"That bitch." Judy said unable to control her anger.
"Rod, nobody is going to take her seriously. Spiteful girls say things all the time. Your penis is fine, and what's important is how you use it."
"Well, apparently, I don't do that so well." Rod said, his voice quavering.
"No boy does it well, at first. It's like anything else. It requires practice." Judy said, leaning over the boy and tenderly raking her fingers through his hair.
"Well then, I guess I'm fucked." Rod said, showing his frustration.
"Watch your language, young man." Judy said.
"Well, I'm sure in a Catch-22. No girl will do it with me, because I'm not any good, and, like you said, I can't get good unless I get laid. At this rate, I'll never screw again. I just want to go to a school where they don't know me... Maybe I can build a mystique."
"Look, I'm sorry we didn't have this conversation earlier. I always hoped your father would have these talks with you. Anyway, I can give you tips about what women like. You can learn to do it better. Just promise me you'll always be safe." Judy said. She was obviously not a prude, but neither had she had any natural impulse to discuss sex with her son. Now she could see he was agonizing, and, pipedreams about no-sex-out-of-wedlock aside, she felt compelled to help him be better.
"Mom, this conversation is getting too weird. Could I just have some alone time?" Rod said.
"I know this is awkward, Rod, but you can talk to me about anything. You don't have to worry about what I'll think. I love you no matter what, and I'll keep your secrets till the grave. I'm not going to get mad about what you did. I just want to help you. You know I love you, right?" Judy said rubbing her hand soothingly on his chest.
"Yeah, mom, but that's not going to help me with this problem." Rod said, sniffing slightly.
"So what happened with Sherry? What about the experience didn't she like?"
"We didn't really get far enough for her to like it or not." Rod replied.
"So you... you ejaculated before you were inside her? You had a condom on, right?"
"Mom, I came before she stroked me twice. I couldn't help it. She was on her knees in front of me, and she was about to put it in her mouth, and I... all I could think of was that those lips were about to touch it. I tried to stop it, but... I shot right across her face and in her hair." Rod confessed.
"Did you try again? You know guys last a lot longer the second time." Judy said.
"No. She startled giggling, and then I got embarrassed. I tried to make excuses, and that just made her laugh harder. I got mad, and stormed off." Rod said.
"And Sherry went around spreading rumors about you because of this?" Judy asked. It didn't sound like the girl of which her son had spoken.
"Nah. I don't think so. I think she just told her roommate, Gina, but Gina is about the biggest gossiping bitch on campus. Sherry tried to apologize, but I just walked off. I couldn't face her."