Like many things in life, sometimes it's the things that we have become accustomed to on a day-to-day basis, that all of a sudden, something, or someone, opens your eyes to see. The eyes that had been blind to what had been staring you in the face for so many years.
And sometimes it takes one of 'life's misfortunes' to cement a growing and long-lasting relationship through seemingly divine intervention.
Just a note. Like all of my stories, it's a really slow build. So, hang in there.
Sara and I have always been really close. The fact that we were first cousins was never something that wasn't a big deal to us or our parents. We were born within a month of each other, with mine first. I often kidded her that I was older and wiser, but never really believed it. She was always two steps ahead of me. We often joked that our parents must have had a contest to see who get pregnant first.
But then there's something about that whole thing that you really don't want to think about. I mean, visualizing your parents messing around. Nope, not going there... ever.
From as early as I can remember, whenever our families would get together for a picnic, a holiday celebration, or a birthday, she'd always be by my side. Whenever there was a disagreement, she always stood alongside me and defended me. Guys in school knew that if anyone disrespected her in any way that they'd have to deal with me.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
We grew up in the 'corn belt' of the Midwest in the 70s in a small farming town. By 'small' I mean a town with a population of 4,000, give or take. The town had the usual small-town stores: two grocery stores and gas stations. The four taverns in town were the same, but different. Each with its own beer neon sign in the window: Pabst, Old Style, Schlitz. Well, you get the picture. I guess that you could say that it was kind of a 'redneck' town. But stuck out in the middle of corn fields what would you expect?
Besides my parents, I had a sister who was two years younger than I was. I guess now is a good time to introduce myself. I'm Jason. I would consider myself pretty average in everything. I didn't have an outgoing personality. I was the type of guy who would just blend in with the crowd.
My uncle's family had three girls: Sara, the oldest, Bonnie, and Elaine, the youngest. I didn't pay much attention to Sara as we grew up, it was like she was always just there as part of the family. But, when we were together she was my 'opposite' in the personality department. I guess it was that copper-colored hair that gave her a bit of fire in her personality. She could light up a room the moment that she entered. All she had to do was flash a smile and flash her hazel-green eyes.
We didn't live on a farm. but we were a ways out in the country. Our house was a modest ranch-style with three bedrooms that sat on five acres of towering oak, hickory, and black walnut trees. In the fall we would all go out and gather the fallen hickory and walnuts, dehusk them, and lay them all out on our basement floor to dry for a few months before cracking them open and picking out the 'nut meat'. It was tedious, but on a cold winter day, there was nothing else to do. But with all of us pitching in, it wasn't that big of a deal. For us, it was just a chance for the two families to get together and spend some time.
My cousins lived in a two-story house on the edge of town, within walking distance of the high school and about 15 minutes from where we lived. Both houses were built by our dads before they were married.
We were all pretty active as we grew up. With the forest of trees, we would build forts and with the help of our dads a nice treehouse about 15 feet above the floor of the forest. It would easily sleep four and was complete with a waterproof roof and openings for windows. It became Sara's and my refuge whenever we wanted to get away from everyone for some quiet 'alone' time, which we did pretty often. Just the two of us.
We did pretty well in school. In grade school and middle school, we were always in separate classes. Don't know why. It's just the way it was. Perhaps it was our parents' way of forcing us to meet and make friends outside of just being the two of us.
In High School, we shared a few classes whenever there was only one section offered, like chemistry, physics, and advanced literature. Other than that, we were in separate classes, probably for the same reason.
Sports were never our thing. For me, I just didn't have the natural athletic ability. For Sara, it was mostly her size. I mean, being only five foot four inches tall and weighing less than 100 pounds she was pretty small.
Even with all of that, we studied together. We competed against each other for grades. Whenever she beat me on a test or homework assignment, which was a fair amount of the time, she always held it up next to her grinning face.
Dating was something that we kind of dabbled in. It started with Sara.
It was the middle of our Junior year. During one of our study sessions, she stopped and looked over at me. Sensing her gaze, as I always did, I looked up. She had a bit of a 'worried' look. I don't know how else to describe it. Like she was afraid to tell me what was on her mind. That had never happened before. We had always been open and honest with each other.
"I've been asked to go the spring dance by Jack Hensel."
I knew Jack. He seemed like a decent kind of guy. But the fact that some guy had seen something in my cousin that I just kind of took for granted caused my gut to tighten a bit.
I guess I was pretty oblivious as to how beautiful my cousin had become almost overnight.
Her ginger-colored hair that she had been born with had turned a deep copper as she hit her teens. Her hazel-green eyes gave her an exotic look. Her skin was really sensitive to the sun, so she stayed pretty much covered up throughout the summer, keeping her complexion pretty 'freckle-free'. And then there were those little bumps on her chest that seemed to have magically appeared over the previous winter.
Then all of a sudden, there, in front of me was my beautiful cousin.
I was brought out of my thoughts by, "Jason, are you OK?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Looking at me with a grin. She knew me better than that.
"Liar."
We both laughed.
"I'm happy for you. You deserve to be asked to go. You'll have fun."
She blushed but added with a saddened voice.
"I know. Thing is, the guy who I really wanted to ask me doesn't even seem to know that I exist. I mean, he's friendly and everything, but that's about it."
"Have you tried to get his attention?"
"Every chance that I get."
"Then he must be dumber than a box of rocks."
She just gave me a warm smile.
In the end, she told me that the dance was fun. Adding that it was just a one-time thing. But it awakened something inside of me... my cousin was beautiful with a warm and caring personality. Things that I had taken for granted.
Perhaps I was the one, 'Dumber than a box of rocks'.
...................................................
We had turned 18 toward the end of the summer. Two birthday parties. I got a playful kiss to my cheek when we were out of sight from our parents.
With a grin, "I've always wanted to do that," followed by a kiss to my other cheek, before turning to rejoin the families.
I stood there, numb at what just happened. But as I replayed it in my head, a smile came to me. My cousin Sara had just kissed my cheek... both cheeks for the first time.
There was a Sadie Hawkins dance coming up at the end of November. I had gone the previous year with a girl from my Chemistry class, actually, she was my lab partner. It was fun and I was hoping to be asked this year, my Senior year.
One afternoon, the house was quiet. It was just me and my mom. I was sitting in front of the TV, just watching some college football game. She came in and sat in the chair next to me.
In her 'mom' voice, "Are you planning on going to the Sadie Hawkins dance, if some girl asks you?"
"If someone asks me, yeah, I'll go. It was fun last year. All casual and everything. I think I went out with her a few times afterward. We're still friends, but I think she's got interests in other places. Why?"
I could see her mulling over what was on her mind.
"What if Sara asked you?"
I think that I just looked back at her. I couldn't believe what she just asked.
"You mean like, Cousin Sara?"
"Yes."
I think the blood drained from my face, as I looked back at my mom like she had a 'third eye'.
"Why me? I mean, any guy in school would die to go with her. She's a beautiful girl."
"Yes she is," pausing, "She's had a crush on you since before Junior High. She thinks the world of you," another pause, "You never saw it, did you?"
Shaking my head, as words were difficult to come to me.
"Her mom and I have talked. Sara's afraid that you won't go if she asks you. She's afraid to ask because she doesn't want to be turned down because you're cousins, or made to look foolish in your eyes."
Suddenly, the light went on in the back of my thick brain. Our conversation after being asked to the Spring Dance by Jack about a guy who she wished would notice her, but who appeared to seem like she was invisible.
What if I did accept, then what? It would be really weird to be doing anything that resembled 'dating'. And probably something that the families would really frown on. But, what if we just got together for some casual times on occasion? Would that push the 'taboo boundary'?
Coming out of my haze, "What if I did accept, we go, have fun... then what? I mean, it's not going to be like we're dating or anything. Should I ask her to the next spring dance? Prom? Would her feelings be hurt if none of that happened? Because the last thing that I ever want to do is hurt her feelings?"
I could see my mom deep in thought.
"You've known each other all of your lives. You two have hung out together in your treehouse more times than I can count. You've even spent many nights there when you were younger. You're closer than just friends. Have you ever talked about how you feel about each other?"
