No Regrets

Saturday morning was a complete wash out. Mom had made plans to shop with Aunt Ann and had left at ten. Dad, who had gone out earlier for a round of golf, returned a little after ten when his round was cancelled.

I was in the kitchen when he came in having only just finished my breakfast. He sat at the table and poured himself a coffee. We chatted about college and his work all the usual stuff. But that went out the window when he said.

'You know you could have knocked me down with a feather when I saw your mother the other night. Has she always done it, asked you if she was putting on weight like that?'

In a flash I saw this could be the answer to my problem. 'Actually, it's only been during the last week.' I replied.

'The last week?' He asked.

Deep breath. 'You know when we spent the night up on the hill?'

'The Friday I was away golfing.'

'Right but I don't think we told you why we were up there. The fact is I'd made an ass of myself and couldn't face mom, so I'd gone up there to hide.'

'What had you done?'

'I'd asked mom if I could see her without her clothes on. As soon as I heard myself say it out loud, I realised what a complete twat I'd been and legged it.'

'Complete twat sounds about right.'

'I know and I'm sorry. But anyway mom tracked me down to tell me not to worry about it. We sat up there talking and before we knew it, it was dark.'

'Which is when I called.'

'Yes. But the thing is we kind of opened up to each other. I told her about the stuff that was going on in my head and she more or less did the same.'

'How does that lead to last Monday night or when ever it was?'

'She told me she fantasises about being made to expose herself and about being a slave to someone who treats her harshly.'

'Jesus!' Dad said.

'Well one thing led to another and she ended up letting me see her in the nude and following on from that I told her she had to let me see her naked at least once a day.'

Dad was silent as he digested what I'd said. I didn't feel too bad as it was pretty close to the truth. After a few minutes he started to tell me about something which happen when he was at Uni.

At the time, he said, he was sharing a room off campus with a lad called James. Dad it seems had been going out with this girl, Jane for a few months, but hadn't got anywhere with her. He didn't put it quite like that but I knew what he meant. James on the other hand always seemed to have a new girl on his arm. He was always asking dad about Jane and often taunted him about not getting anywhere with her.

One evening dad and Jane were at the flat watching a video when James came back early. James wasted no time in introducing himself to Jane and then told her to stand up so he could see her properly. Jane did as he asked and even did a slow turn when he told her to. He then asked dad why he not fucked her yet. In his opinion she was 'begging for it.' Dad said Jane lowered her head but didn't speak; he just looked from her to James and accused him of being drunk. James assured him he wasn't and was willing to prove it; he also said that if he was right, he'd get to fuck her first. As soon as he'd said this he turned to Jane and told her to strip. Dad said he'd never seen anything like it. The girl he thought was too shy to be up for anything beyond snogging calmly removed everything she was wearing as he and James looked on.

Dad said once she was naked, James was on her like a rash. He groped her all over before telling her to lie on dad's bed. Once she was stretched out he told her to open her legs to give them a good look at her cunt. James apparently taunted dad a little before pushing his trousers down and fucking her hard and fast.

As soon as he'd finished he got up, turned to dad and told him it was his turn. Dad said something about not doing it with him there, whereupon James snapped at him to do as he was told. Apparently dad did do as he was told and proceeded to take his turn between Jane's legs.

'The thing is.' Dad said after he'd told me the tale. 'I've never forgotten that night, the way James took control first of Jane and then of me. As well I've never forgotten what it felt like to have sloppy seconds.'

'Oh.' I said. He knew or at least suspect I'd had sex with mom last Monday evening.

'Listen I'm not angry with you or your mom, far from it.' He said.

'You're not?'

'No. Quite the opposite! I've thought about it a lot all week, apart from anything else I've never seen your mother quite as cheerful as she has been these last few days.'

I didn't say anything, unable to believe where the conversation was heading.

'Am I right in thinking you've been acting out your mother's slave fantasies?'

I hung my head a little as I could only nod.

'Hey Paul, look at me.' I looked up to his face. 'Do I look angry?'

'You don't but you'll understand if I tell you I'm just a little confused.'

'That I can imagine. But here's something for you to think about. I've thought about that night in the flat, countless times over the years. Something occurred to me this week and the realisation actually made me feel a bit sorry for myself. In all my life, that incident is the only truly outrageous thing to ever happen to me.'

Dad stopped speaking at that point. When he didn't elaborate further it gave me chance to evaluate what he'd just told me. First off and most importantly he wasn't upset about me having sex with mom, quite the opposite in fact. Secondly he'd enjoyed watching James order Jane to strip before fucking her and lastly he seemed to have enjoyed being ordered to have sex with the girl.

'Dad, are you serious about what you're telling me?'

I watched as he put his down mug and start to get up from his chair. 'Paul I've never been more serious. But hey the rain's let up; fancy a run?'

Our run took us to the place it all started, the top of the hill which overlooks Cardigan Bay. When we stopped to catch our breath I noticed dad looked at the remains of the fire and the easily discernable bed of bracken where we'd slept.

'I've forgotten how good the view is.' Dad said when he looked to the west and the sea.

'Yes, even when it's dull it's spectacular.' I replied but was a little distracted by the memories of the last time I was there.

Neither of us spoke for a few minutes by which time we got our breath back and were ready to carry on. As we jogged along I again went over what dad had said in the kitchen. By the time we were home I'd decided what he'd told me in a round about way, was that he wanted to not only watch mom and me but also for me to 'make' him do stuff to her and probably not just the normal things.

As we were eating a sandwich lunch, dad got a call from a golfing buddy and went out to meet him at a driving range. I got on with some studying which kept me busy until my mother got back about four.

I shouted hello from my room when I heard her come in. She came up to my room and asked if she could use the loo as she needed to pee. I told her she could and smiled as she asked if I'd like to watch. For the first time, I declined.

When she came back to my room I didn't look up form my book but told her to remove her clothes. I carried on reading for a minute or two after she'd stripped. When I eventually put the book down, I saw she was standing motionless beside my bed. Head slightly lowered, feet two feet apart, hands clasped behind her back. I took a few moments to look at her before telling her about the conversation I'd had with dad. When I'd finished I told her I planned to fuck her in front of him later before ordering him to fuck her as I watched. Suffice to say I didn't ask for her opinion or consent.

I pushed my shorts down and told her to suck me off whereupon she quickly knelt between my knees to 'Pleasure me with her mouth' as the phrase goes. A pleasure indeed and one I hope to never tire of. After she had swallowed my emission, I told her to put on what she considered her sluttiest top and shortest skirt. She was gone only a few moments and I have to say I was very pleased with her choice. The top was sheer enough to clearly see her boobs through and the skirt was one she normally wears for tennis. As she'd come into my room I'd even caught a glimpse of her pubes.

'Does that top have any significance for you?' I asked.

'No it's something I've had for years; I've almost chucked it a few times.'

'That's good. I'll enjoy seeing dad's reaction when he sees you like that. He said he'd be back about six by the way.'

My mother it seemed had complete confidence in me as she smiled before saying she would start on the dinner and left me to my studying, but try as I might I couldn't concentrate for some reason.