I smiled at my reflection as I smoothed out my hair. My appearance was not always something I applauded but tonight I was more than happy with how I looked. It was my 18th birthday and I wanted to look good. My pale skin looked luminescent against the black material of my dress. My friend had brought it to the shop changing room as a joke but when I put it on we were both silenced. It seemed to cling to the swell of my breasts and it accentuated the arch in the small of the back following the curve of my ass perfectly. I had kept my hair simple and it was so straight it looked even longer than usual, the tips just brushing off the ample cleavage this amazing dress had given me.
I knew I was lingering and that my family would be growing impatient with each extra minute I took to unnecessarily preen in the mirror. I wanted to impress them all so much. I was the girl in the baggy jeans, the girl who never wore her hair down because it simply got in the way. A little voice in my head was asking me exactly who it was I wanted to impress. I thought of Ben my brother. I knew I had been all over the place around him recently. Letting my eyes linger over his body, getting jealous when he brought any of his giggling girlfriends home. I knew that I was walking down a rocky path but I just couldn't turn back. Did I want him to tell me I looked amazing? Is that what I wanted to hear? Did I want him to admire my dress, to think I could actually look good? I couldn't make up my mind. I just knew that if I took any longer they'd be sending out a search party.
No words at first, then a low wolf whistle from my Uncle David.
"Well, well, well!" he said, "looks like someone scrubs up well!"
I lowered my eyes blushing furiously. I wanted to look at Ben. I wanted to know he'd noticed me. I smiled at the expression on my Dad's face; he looked shell-shocked. My mum just smiled. She had seen my dress the day before and had warned me of the effect it would have. I still couldn't look at him. My cousin Marie made me turn in a circle and laughed as I posed and stuck my ass out. As I turned my eyes collided with Ben's. My breath caught as I saw the desire in his face and the way he was looking over my body. I opened my mouth to speak just as Mum opened hers. It was time to go.
I knew that I should eat. I knew that I was surrounded by my family, all clamoring to talk to me and admire my appearance and wish me happy birthday. But how could I concentrate on such menial things when I knew he was staring at me. Every time I dared to peek up through my hair I caught his dark gaze for a second then he looked away. Then it was my turn to stare. To take in his hair and his arms and neck and all the other things that I seemed to find so sexually attractive.
I hadn't always been like this. He was two years older than me so of course we bickered. When I was 12 and he was 14 I couldn't understand why he wouldn't come out and play with me anymore. I didn't realize he was becoming "cool". When I was 16 and he was 18 I was still in that awkward stage. He'd bring home these busty blonde girls making me painfully aware of my skinny frame and tiny breasts. But when bad things happened he'd be there. My first boyfriend was an asshole who treated me so badly I almost couldn't believe it when he finished with me. My tears and heartache enraged Ben. I don't know what he said to Kieran but it was enough to make him be nicer to me than he ever had in our three month relationship.
By the time we got home everyone was drunk. I had been sipping wine but I was too nervous to even feel remotely intoxicated. I wasn't sure what was making me so fluttery. His dark eyes running over my body every time I moved. The way he stopped looking away every time I glanced at him. He stared at me so hard I could hardly breathe. I knew it was wrong and that everything my body was feeling was against everything I had been brought up to believe. I just couldn't ignore the tingle in my pussy and the butterflies in my stomach.
On my 17th birthday Ben brought his most serious girlfriend so far to my party. She was as beautiful as any model, singer or actress I had seen on a magazine cover. He ignored me practically all night. Sure, he said happy birthday chatted to me about stupid, mundane things but he constantly looked over my shoulder at the fabulous Jessica. That was the first time I associated jealousy with my own brother. I didn't want him to be with a beautiful girl, I didn't want him to be in love and I really didn't want him to be having sex with her. The sex definitely got to me the most.
Suddenly we were alone. Marie and her mum and dad recently departed in a taxi and my mum and dad were in their bed on the floor above us. You could have touched the air it was so taut with tension. I couldn't find any words to say so I babbled.
"Have you had a good night?" I questioned nervously.
He swiftly replied "Yeah, it's been a great night."