By the time I was twenty-one, I had been having sex with my father and brother for a couple of years. I think they both knew about the other, but it wasn't something we sat around and talked about, if you know what I mean. I considered both relationships special and treated my Dad and Andy differently, not just because of their diverse sexual preferences but because they each deserved my special attention for the joy they brought me.
Fucking them was a gift, in my opinion. There was never the added pressure I felt with boyfriends. With boyfriends you always have to worry about what they're thinking, how serious they think we are, and all that goes with it. With Dad and Andy, the only worry was getting caught by Mom.
My mother was a saint. She acted relentlessly as a referee between all the rest of us. Maybe I'm biased, but she was gorgeous for a forty something woman; blonde and tiny with a decent body, intelligent, and, around Dad anyway, very sexy. She was also a little shy, like me.
Maybe I felt a little guilty about my liaisons with Dad and my brother because I found myself wanting to be closer and closer to my Mom. I never thought of it as a sexual attraction at first. But then I started looking at her in much the same way I did with Dad and Andy; as a potential partner.
That really scared me. I assumed right off she would want no part of it. Of course, I was also scared by the thought that I would think of her in those terms. I'd never wanted to be with a woman in my life. I was scared by the likely consequences of trying something with Mom and having it backfire in my face.
But as the weeks went past, my desire to be with Mom grew to the point where I had to act. This wasn't going to be easy.
Luckily, something Mom herself did opened the door for me to bring up the subject. We were shopping...as usual...in a rather upscale clothing store one afternoon, just looking at stuff that was way above the budget either of us had for clothes. Eventually, we were approached by a stunning sales lady slightly younger than my Mom.
My mother is very good at telling sales people to get lost, so I was surprised to watch her let this woman guide us through various racks of blouses and dresses. Mom talked to her longer than I had ever heard her talk to somebody in a store. We must have spent close to half an hour with her and Mom did ultimately buy two things without even trying them on.
After leaving the store, I said, "Geez, Mom. What got into you?"
She laughed. "I don't know. I just liked the way she helped without being pushy."
After a short pause, Mom said, "She was pretty, wasn't she?"
"Yes. She needs to be working over at the sporting goods store where the guys are," I replied.
"Maybe she likes women," Mom said with a wry grin.
I raised my eyebrows when she looked at me. "That would be a very lucky woman. I thought it was going to be you if you stayed much longer."
Mom looked straight ahead as we walked. After a moment, she said, "I wonder how a lesbian woman, or even a bisexual woman, finds out that somebody they meet is also lesbian or bi."
"She asks?" I said.
"God, Traci. YOU would, wouldn't you? Most of us wouldn't be so direct."
"Should we go back and ask her?"
"No. And quit being sarcastic. I'm serious. How are we supposed to know?" Mom said.
"Let's see," I said in a thoughtful voice. "You go back again tomorrow sometime around lunch. You look at the same things you saw today. If she doesn't come to help, you ask somebody if the gorgeous babe we saw today is working. If she is, you spend another half hour with her. You exchange names; small talk. You invite her to lunch. That night you're in bed with her."
Luckily, we were almost to the car because Mom wouldn't talk to me.
We were alone in the house when we got home. I went to do something while Mom headed for her bedroom to put her new clothes away. About fifteen minutes passed and I had wandered into the family room, down the hall from Mom and Dad's bedroom. That's when I saw her next.
Mom came out of her bedroom and walked towards me. She had on a sheer, body fitting blouse she had picked out. Mom had taken off her pants and the bottom of the blouse covered anything underneath.
I just stared. She was so beautiful and sexy. Her breasts gave the blouse just the right contour and the deep opening at the top allowed for plenty of cleavage to show. Her legs were perfect, as always, and the blouse brushed against them delicately as she walked.
"Do you think it's too small?" she asked me.
"No, Mom. It's perfect on you. Aren't you glad she picked it out for you now?"
Mom frowned. "I saw it first."
"Turn around," I told her.
With her back facing me, Mom didn't need to know I spent most of the time looking at her cute ass under the shirt. I could also see her bra through the thin material and my self-control was lost. I had to have her.
I stepped forward and put my hands lightly on her sides. I felt her twitch and her head began to turn around.
"I think any lesbian or bi woman would find it easy to let you know they are interested," I said softly.
By then my arms were wrapped around her and our bodies were tight against each other. Mom put her hands on top of mine.
"I guess," Mom said in an uneasy voice. "Is that a compliment?"
"Of course it is. You're beautiful, Mom, and I think you're afraid to admit it."
I kissed her neck. My hands slid a little higher on her chest.
"Honey...," she began to say.
I felt the bottom of her bra and just a hint of her breasts. Her grip on my hands became firmer.
"Let me," I whispered. "It's OK."
When my fingers started to cover her breasts, she dropped her hands. I kissed her some more and licked her soft skin.
"Traci."
I let my body answer her. I held her breasts tighter and pressed my pussy against her ass. The blouse bunched up in my hands as I clutched at her. I felt the bra moving against her breasts and Mom's nipples hardened.
Opening just one button would give me full access to her chest. I tried to do it stealthily, but I was shaking a little and fumbled at it for a second. Then it fell open.
I could hear Mom's breathing grow faster and harder as my fingers ran across the top of her breasts for the first time. Common sense told me to go slow; not to push my luck and scare her off. But lust took over and the fingers of one hand slipped inside her bra. I touched her nipple and I thought Mom gasped very softly. I squeezed her breast.
Her ass pushed harder against my body. I had one side of her bra practically off her breast I was so anxious to get at it. I pinched her nipple and Mom finally let out an audible sigh.
That's when I made my first mistake. I let my free hand slide down her body. I tugged at the bottom of her blouse until I felt the skin of her thigh. My hand rose until it was on her panties. I nearly made it to her pussy.
"Traci! No! We...we have to...stop," Mom cried out, pulling away from me. "We can't do that."
I watched her nervously straighten her bra and button her blouse again.
I said, "So, I think that's how women let each other know. Are you going back to the store?"
"No," she bellowed, heading for the bedroom. "I am not."
***
It would have been extremely disappointing if nothing else ever happened between us. The next day I waited patiently for another opportunity to be alone with Mom and either discuss what we did, or continue it. But the chance never arose.
The last thing I expected was for Mom to be the one to initiate it, the day after that.
"I went back to the store today," Mom said nonchalantly as we sat in the eating area of the kitchen.
My eyes opened wide and I sat up, paying full attention now.
"Really? And?"
"I didn't buy anything," she said.
"Was she there?" I asked.
"No."
The look on her face provided everything I needed to know.
"Ahhh, too bad. Were you going to talk to her?"
"Maybe," Mom said with an air of indifference. But I thought otherwise. "I guess she was at lunch with some young, good looking guy."
"It's her loss," I said.
"You're sweet," Mom told me. After a pause, she added, "Are you mad at me for...the other day?"
"No. Not mad."
"Disappointed?"
"That. And frustrated."
Mom stared at me. "Why?"
I had thought about what I was going to say, and went slowly to make sure I got it right.
"Because you won't allow yourself to discover how you really feel...about other women."
"But I went back to her," Mom said, sounding very irritated with me.
"And what would you have done if she was there? What did you really want?"
Mom looked everywhere but at me. She fidgeted with her coffee cup. Finally, "I don't know, Traci. I don't know."
I stood up. I reached out for her hand and pulled her up, as well. We faced each other and I leaned in and kissed her on the lips. It only lasted a second and Mom didn't respond.
Then she said, "I'm not sure it was her I wanted."
I thought my heart would burst from my chest. I kissed her again. Mom separated her lips. I pressed harder and our tongues met. The next minute or so was pretty much a blur. The kiss became more passionate; we held each other tightly before our hands started to wander; our bodies ground together.
When it ended, I said to her softly, "Let's try this. One time. Together."
Mom just nodded, but her eyes had already given me approval.
