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It was the end of May and I was preparing the house for Timmy's arrival. I was excited. This was his first year at school. He goes to school in another state and I missed him.
After his father left us six years ago, I dedicated my life to him. I tried to diffuse his anger. Not diffuse, acknowledge it but move on. He had a right to be angry, but it wasn't helping him in school or socially.
I think we did ok. By the time he graduated we could talk about his father without explosive rage and he was again doing well in school and had friends. So when he went to school the house became empty. He was what I did. He was who I talked to. It had been lonely since he left.
I worked a great job and I did ok in the divorce. We weren't wanting for anything, but work did not leave me a lot of time for other things. At least that's what I told myself. I think it gave me a reason to stay home and feel bad for myself. Let's face it. I had weekends and weeknights free. If I'd tried I'm sure I could have found something that interested me.
A few friends set me up on dates. I really wasn't interested. I went. They were nice guys but nothing that made me say wow. Looking back, I'm pretty sure I wasn't capable of being wowed. Timmy had been my life. Even Timmy tried to get me to go out. Yeah, I'd have lunch with a close friend or two but besides that I was kind of numb.
Except for Timmy. Timmy made me happy. Every success he had, good grades, a place on the swim team, even the few dates he went on. They made me happy, they were my successes as well as his.
Who knows, maybe it was true. Maybe he would not have been as successful if I hadn't dedicated myself to him. The divorce was hard on us. Dad left us for a woman 6 years older than Timmy. Both of us were devastated. With his dad deserting him, I felt I needed to be an anchor, the person he could count on, the person that would always be there. I put his life first. I was always home when he was and at his beck and call if he wanted to talk. Maybe I over did it? I don't know. All I can say is he was my life.
We still fought, clean your room, pick up after yourself, do your chores or you can't go out. Sometimes his anger was intense. I was told that they often take out their anger on the stable parent, the one they know will still be there after they were mad. I was stable, and I was there.
Then he went to school. All of a sudden I had time to focus on me. I wasn't going to see him till Christmas. Three and a half months and then again in May.
I was lost. I really just rattled around in my house. I knew that wasn't healthy, so I decided to join a gym. I started hitting the gym five or six days a week. I didn't over do it. One day aerobics, one day spinning, one day light weights. I wasn't looking for muscle mass. At 40 I was happy that I was defining my curves. I was 5'3 130 lbs. I had a tight ass and 36c breasts. I could rock a bikini. I was proud of my body.
Women at work complimented me. I caught a few guys checking me out, but of course they couldn't say anything for fear of sexual harassment laws.
So I settled into my routine, work, gym, check calendar for when Timmy was coming home, work, gym, repeat. The highlights of my week were those times Timmy and I face timed and chatted. The nice part of technology is that through Instagram, text, FaceTime, and email, we could stay in touch easily.
During the school year I did two things that, looking back, may have hinted at what was to come.
One day we were face timing. I was getting ready for bed and was in a tank top and panties. Little cotton string bikinis. Don't be so surprised. Sure I was a mom, but I grew up in the late '90s. Pretty underwear was the norm then and what I was still comfortable in. It didn't matter. After all, all Timmy could see was my face. So who cared what I was wearing.
We chatted for 15 minutes and we're just about to say good night when Timmy said, "By the way mom nice ass."
"Timmy!" I scolded.
"Look behind you," he said.
I turned my head and realized I was sitting in front of a mirror. I could feel my face turn red.
"Why didn't you tell me? You just let me sit there?" I was a little peeved.
"Well, didn't really think about it a lot, and when I did look, you looked good, so why bother," he replied.
In a softer laughing voice I said, "You're a jerk. Goodnight."
"I'm your jerk," he replied. "Night mom."
I had a hard time sleeping that night. Not really thinking about it I had my fingers between my legs. I dreamed about being in public in my underwear. It wasn't in a bad way.
The second thing that happened was over Christmas break. I'd been looking forward to the break for weeks. I imagined all the things we would do. Go to the city, go to the beach, car ride down the coast.
When Timmy got home we spent the first night together talking and catching up. The rest of Christmas break he was barely home. He was always off with friends. I was disappointed. I'd hoped we'd have all this time together, but he was too busy. One day I got home from work. I walked in the front door and stepped out of my heals. I then headed up to my room to change. No one is ever home so I usually started undressing on the way. Absentmindedly I undid my skirt and stepped out of it. Then I looked up, there was Timmy and his friend Dave sitting in the kitchen and me there holding my skirt and standing in a blouse and cotton thong.
We all just stared kind of shell shocked. Then I shrieked and held my skirt in front of me to cover myself.
"Oh my god," I said. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."
"We were just grabbing a snack," said Timmy.
Neither of them took their eyes off my skirt. No one said anything else.
Finally I broke the silence. "Well, I better get dressed," I said and started to head for my room.
Not really paying attention I headed up the stairs. All of a sudden I realized my ass was exposed. Part of me said run. Part of me thought I should just continue walking and maintain a bit of dignity. I chose the latter.
Break went on as usual and the kids eventually returned to school. Life went on. One disturbing thing. Sometimes, when I masturbated, the image of me standing in front of them, in my thong, came to mind. I would cum almost immediately.
The semester passed. Nothing special happened. As we approached summer break I looked forward to Timmy coming home. Then I get the phone call.
"Hi mom."
"Hi sweetie," I responded. "How are you? One more week and you'll be home."
"I can't wait mom, but that's what I called about."
"Oh?" I asked. In my mind I started going through possibilities. The most likely was that he found a job elsewhere and would not come home.
"Remember the girl Ally I told you about when I was home?" he continued.
I thought back. He'd mentioned her a few times. They were dating, and he spoke well of her.
"Yes, I remember you telling me about her " I said.
"Do you mind if she came and visited for a few weeks this summer? Maybe the beginning of break?" he asked.
A thousand thoughts were going through my head. I wanted his time to myself. How serious was he with this girl? Was there anything else I should know? What did she look like? Was there a reason he wanted her home? And yes, I admit, a twinge of jealousy.
I brushed that all aside. "Of course I don't mind," I said.
Timmy must have felt my hesitation.
"Are you sure?" he asked. If it's an imposition we can do something different."
Different? What different I thought. Quickly I answered. "It's no imposition at all, and I'd like to meet her if you think so highly of her" I said.
Then I thought quickly. "You won't be sharing a room," I said. "I know you can do what you want at school, but this is my house and I'm not comfortable with my son having sex under my roof," I went on.
There was a pause like Timmy was going to argue, but in the end he agreed.
We chatted a bit more about school and his visit and then hung up. I sat quietly running through my thoughts. A girl, I didn't expect a girl. Not now at least. He's only 19. I also chided myself for being silly. It's just a girl. It's perfectly normal for a 19 year old to have a girlfriend. I knew my son. I couldn't imagine he would be with a girl who wasn't nice. On the other hand, I couldn't imagine her being good enough for my son.
Finally the day arrived. I heard the car pull into the driveway. I went to the door to greet them. Her door was on my side. She opened the car door. She was adorable. About 5' tall she must've weighed nothing. She had a cute dancer/cheerleader figure. I later found out she was a cheerleader in high school and a dancer. She had adorable blonde hair that bounced as she walked, She had a cute round face and blue eyes. She was the perfect girl next door. I could see why Timmy found her attractive.
Timmy got out his side and walked Ally to me.
"Mom, this is Ally," he said
"Hi Mrs. Lasson," she smiled. "Timmy told me so much about you," she continued. "He never told me how beautiful you were."
"Why thank you," I replied.
Before I could go on she continued.
"I mean, he told me you were pretty but he really didn't say this pretty."
I would have thought she was just flattering me but the way she spoke, added to a bit of an open mouth stare, led me to believe she was being honest.
"You're so sweet," I replied. "And not so bad yourself," I added, giving her the once over.