John couldn't decide which emotion roaring through his mind should rule. Anger and disappointment had exploded, burst like fireworks and fell down around him when he had first glanced through the open doorway.
Last night and this morning, Kelly had expressed her love for him in both word and deed, but she obviously didn't love him enough to be faithful. Also, the view in front of him had taken his breath away. He had never seen two women make love before, and the sight made him so excited he started to shake, or perhaps his anger caused the shivers. He didn't know which emotion to believe. He knew his cock had never been so hard, but he also felt sad, betrayed and completely confused. He panted trying to get enough oxygen in his system to function. He craved oxygen for his brain because watching Kelly with her busy mouth between her gorgeous sister's splayed, long legs had knocked the wind out him.
John debated whether to retreat and discuss the incident with Kelly later when he grasped more control over his emotions, or remain and... He didn't know what he would do if he remained. He felt incapable of making a decision to leave or stay and face them, so he did nothing. He stood buried in the floor like a fence post. Heavy! That's how he felt, he decided. So heavy he couldn't move. The emotion felt like grief caused by the death of a loved one.
His cock throbbed.
He watched as Janice started to climax on Kelly's licking, sucking mouth, watched his youngest sister's beautiful body stiffen and start to shudder as an immense orgasm overwhelmed her, and finally he watched her collapse. He reveled in the sight of her sexy, voluptuous body as it went limp, overcome with gentle lassitude.
And then he heard words exit Kelly's mouth, words that suddenly infuriated him, made him feel as if she had lied to him about her aversion to incest, because obviously she and her sister had made love before, probably many times, and sisters having sex were no less incestuous than a brother and sister fucking each other.
He watched fear and horror flash into Kelly's eyes when he spoke, and it was as if her fear finally uprooted him and allowed him to move again. He turned without waiting for an answer to his question and walked away, walked through the house and out the door. He climbed behind the wheel of his car and tried to put the keys in the ignition, but his hands shook too much. He took a deep breath and tried again, this time succeeding.
John asked himself if he should drive. Was he capable of driving without endangering others or himself? He breathed deeply again, and his shaking body calmed a little. When he turned the key, the low rumble of the vehicle's engine calmed him more. At least the automobile functioned as it should. Love didn't. Kelly didn't. So he reasoned his entire existence had not stopped functioning. After all, the car's engine had started with the turn of a key. Looking over his shoulder before backing out of the driveway, he saw some kids playing on the sidewalk. He had to wait for them, and the simple requirement of being certain the children would be safe before he moved the car calmed him some more.
A fist banging on the driver-side window startled him. Kelly stood in a robe saying something. The radio had started blaring as soon as he had turned the key, but he had not noticed the noise until now. The sight of the love of his life with tears streaming down her cheeks retarded his compulsion to flee, so he turned off the radio and pushed the button to lower the window.
"Please, John, please come back inside. We can talk. We can get through this. We must. Somehow. Please."
John sucked in air with a huge effort, gazed at his so-called lover, and turned off the ignition.
"I'll come in, but give me a minute. Go inside, Kelly. Give me some time. I'll come in soon, and we'll talk."
"Okay. I'll send Janice away, and..."
"No, Janice stays. I want her to be part of our discussion, at least at first."
"Okay, whatever - however you want it. I know...I love you, John. Please don't..."
"No, not now. Leave me for a minute, Kelly. If you won't give me some time, I'll drive away."
She swallowed a sob and spun on her bare feet. John watched her stagger up the driveway and into the house, watched as her shoulders shook as she started to sob. Her abject sadness hurt him. She had betrayed him, but his love for her surmounted her duplicity, and he wanted desperately to take her in his arms and console her, wanted to dispel her misery and put a smile on her beautiful face again.
John realized he didn't know all the circumstances behind her betrayal. Perhaps her explanations would lessen his anger and reduce his sense of loss. With a heavy heart, he pushed open the door and pulled himself erect. He wondered if he could make the trip to the door. Panting again, he worried about hyperventilating, but he straightened his spine, squared his shoulders and took the first step. The second step seemed easier, and the next, easier still.
I'll survive this, he realized. Whether his love for Kelly would survive was the question. He didn't knock, opened the door and stepped inside. Janice, fully dressed, held Kelly in her arms and looked up at him from the living room. She started to speak, but John held up his hand, a silent demand for silence, which Janice obeyed.
Kelly turned to him and pushed Janice away. She rose and started toward him, but he motioned for her to stay and walked by her and sat alone in a large chair. Kelly's shoulders slumped, accepting John's rejection. She returned and sat by her sister on the sofa facing John.
"Janice, how long have you and Kelly been lovers?" John asked.
Janice looked toward Kelly, who nodded. "That would depend on your definition of lovers. Kelly taught me how to masturbate when I was twelve. We masturbated together two or three times a year, maybe more, for about two years after that. Does this qualify as being lovers?"
"No, not on your part. You were still a kid. Go on, please," John said quietly.
"About four years ago, we started touching each other. We continued without escalating beyond mutual masturbation for another year. Kelly graduated from college, and that summer we became lovers. We heated up the heat of the summer doing everything two females can do with each other. Then Kelly became engaged and moved in with Jim, and she stopped seeing me until about six months ago when she started having serious problems with the S.O.B., and we started having sex again. Kelly doesn't love me, not like she loves you. We give each other pleasure, John. Sex between us is friendly - casual, if you will. If one of us has needs, the other helps. That's what sisters are for."
John laughed bitterly. "Of course, why didn't I think of that? Sisters help sisters in their time of need by sucking them off." He turned to Kelly. "Is that what you did for me? Did you consider me needy, so you helped me in my time of need? Is that why you sucked me off? Is that why you finally took me to your bed and fucked me?"
"If that's what you think, get the fuck out of my house?" Kelly said with fire in her reddened, tear-ladened eyes. "I'm in love with you. If you can't get that through your thick skull, then we've nothing to talk about." She brushed the back of her hands across her face, swiping at her tears. "I can understand you feel betrayed, because I betrayed you, and I know it's possible you don't love me anymore, which would break my heart, but somehow I'd survive even that loss. And perhaps when you look at me now, you see a slut. Maybe I am, but god damn it, I won't allow you to believe I don't love you!"
"Okay. That was a cheap shot, but why lie to me about incest being contemptible, a perversion you didn't want to commit, when you've been committing incest with Janice for years?"
"I didn't lie to you," Kelly stated. "I've never considered my relationship with Janice incestuous."
"Oh, come on, Kelly. You can't really expect me to believe that."
"It's true," Janice said. "Kelly said the same thing to me before you arrived this morning. I laughed my head off when she made the statement, but..."
"I never considered sex with Janice incestuous. Until today, it never crossed my mind," Kelly said, interrupting her sister. "I don't know why. I agree with both of you now. Janice and I have been incestuous, but we never discussed incest as an issue. We did discuss our bisexuality, which to my mind was and is a greater perversion than incest. I think that's why incest with Janice wasn't an issue with me. I can't explain it any better, and I'm being honest - stupid maybe, but honest. Sex with you, John, was and is a different matter. I consider sex with you incestuous for two reasons. One, I love you, and I've loved you for years. For some reason, love amplified incest as our prime issue in my mind. Remember, I'm not in love with Janice. Two, you're a man. You can make me pregnant. It might sound silly, but incest was and still is an issue between us, and it's never been an issue between Janice and me. I'm in love with you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, but we can't have children, and I want some babies to love. I want to experience the joys of motherhood. But I want you more. I had already decided to give up my desire to have children so I could be with you."
"I have a question," Janice stated. "What's that large wet spot on the front of your trousers?"
John glanced down and blushed.
"Seeing us together excited you, didn't you?" Janice said.
"Yes, which confused me," John replied. "I felt betrayed and angry. It was as if my future went up in smoke. I felt completely and abjectly alone with an overwhelming heaviness I can only define as grief. I couldn't breathe, couldn't get enough air in me. The two of you metaphorically kicked the wind out of me, and at the same time, I have never been so sexually excited in my life. That's why I walked away. I had to have time to somehow sort out all the conflicting emotions besieging me. I'm still confused and hurt."
Janice grinned. "Thanks for being honest, Bro." She turned to Kelly. "I'm going to leave you to sort this out, Sis. The two of you love each other more than any couple I've ever known. You'll work it out if you're both patient and don't say anything you'll need to take back later."
She rose and walked from the house leaving John and Kelly avoiding each other's eyes. Silence descended except for an occasional sniff as Kelly tried to control her melancholy.
"Do you know I love you?" Kelly asked, breaking the silence.
"Yes."
"Do you know I will never have sex with Janice or any other person, man or woman, for as long as we're together?"
"No."
Kelly breathed deeply. "Good. If you had said yes, I would not have believed you. And if nothing else, we need to be brutally honest with each other right now. I know I need to gain your trust again. I also know I betrayed you, and I'm sorry. I debated with myself whether to join Janice in the tub this afternoon, and I made the wrong choice."
