My Saving Grace

I had just enough written for another chapter, so here it is, with my hopes that you will enjoy. I can't tell you all how much I've enjoyed reading your comments and messages. Thank you all for reading my stories! I should be able to write one more before I ship out, so keep your eyes peeled! - CM

*

Waking up the next morning was a lot less fun than it had been the morning before. No warm lips and tongue would be caressing my shaft this morning! Of course, it could have been worse (yeah I know, it can ALWAYS be worse, right?). So, this morning I woke to the dull throbbing sensation in my left cheek that promised to develop into raw-edged agony in the near future. I hate it when the pain meds wear off, don't you?

I groaned and stretched, careful not to rub my face as I sat up. I needed to take care of my morning business, and so I stood up, completely forgetting about the damn bed exit alarm. Hospitals! The loud warbling served to finish waking me up, as if the pressure in my bladder wasn't enough to do the job. I walked tiredly into the bathroom and took care of the issue. My nurse arrived as I was washing up.

"Well good morning, Mr. Richmond!" she said. "I'm Debbie Crenshaw, I'll be your nurse until this afternoon."

"Call me Kevin, please. The formality feels a little ridiculous when I'm standing here in my boxers and a hospital gown," I replied. (Yes, I woke up grumpy, you probably would be too!)

"Okay, Kevin it is, then," she replied cheerfully, as she shut off the alarm. "Would you like some breakfast?"

I shrugged. "I'm not really all that hungry, actually. Have you heard anything about when I can be discharged?"

"I really couldn't say," she said, apologetically. "But, I'm sure it will be soon. I do know that you are the first patient on the hospitalist's -- Dr. Khan, I mean -- schedule for rounds today."

She smiled encouragingly at me. I didn't smile back, because my face hurt too much for that. I turned back to the bathroom mirror and studied the bruising on my face. Oh, and the stitches, of course. I never would have graced the cover of GQ, even before this. I have a pretty good body, and my face doesn't usually terrify children and small animals, but I wasn't Liam Hemsworth. Now, though, I looked a little worse for wear. Shit. Well, Gracie still loved me, and that's what counts. Speaking of...

"When do visiting hours start?"

"About a half-hour from now," she said, glancing at the Vocera fob hanging from her scrub top. She paused, and gave me an odd look. "Should I have Security here?"

"For what?" I asked.

She shook her head and sighed. "To keep whoever used your face for stress relief from doing it again!" Nurse Crenshaw held up her hand, and glared. "And don't feed me any BS about walking into things, either. Just be straight with me. You're not going to get any better if you keep getting the crap beaten out of you!"

I resented that. I'd been caught off guard, damn it! And besides, I wasn't about to get into an MMA bout with my own mother! Not that I was about to admit my own mother was the one who'd done this to me, either. I decided, on mature reflection, it was best to let the comment slide.

"It won't be an issue," I said, tiredly.

She stared me down for another minute before she relented. "Okay, I'll take your word for it. Hit your call button if you need anything."

"I will, thanks," I mumbled. I hurt to much to do anything more, so I wandered back to the bed and sat down. Moments later, Nurse Debbie walked back in with a tray containing toast, orange juice, scrambled eggs, and apple-cinnamon oatmeal.

"I don't really care if you're hungry," she said, cheerily. "I was trying to be polite when I asked you earlier. You've lost a lot of blood, and even though they gave you a pint last night, your body needs food to replenish! So eat it, or I'll go find your family and tell them you're not cooperating!"

She smiled sweetly and stood there, waiting for me to start. I sighed and half-heartedly picked up a slice of buttered toast.

"You really don't have to stand there. I've been feeding myself for, oh, years, now," I said, with more than a hint of grumpiness in my tone.

She didn't reply, she merely stood there and waited patiently. Sensing that the battle was lost, I swallowed by pride, and then swallowed a bite of the toast. She waited until I'd finished all of the toast and taken a good-sized gulp of juice before she left, apparently satisfied that I was going to be good.

Just as she'd said, Dr. Khan (who had also treated me during my last visit to the body and fender shop) stepped into the room just as I finished the oatmeal.

"Good morning, Kevin," he said. At least he didn't start off with the 'Mr. Richmond' crap. "I have good news and bad news. Good news first: It turns out you did not actually suffer a concussion, so there's no reason to continue setting your bed exit alarm. The bad news is that, because of the shock and the blood loss, I want you to stay one more night, just to be safe."

"Oh, wonderful," I said, under my breath.

"I'm glad you approve!" he said, in surprised tones, and then paused. "Wait, that was sarcasm, wasn't it?" He sighed and shook his head. "Look, Kevin, you can always sign yourself out, AMA (Against Medical Advice) if you want, but it wouldn't be a smart thing to do. Shock and blood loss are not trivial things! I know no one likes to stay in the hospital, but I really think you need to be here. Are you going to cooperate?"

"Yes, he will, Doctor," came a level female voice from the doorway. My family (minus Trent, thank God) strode into the room. Aunt Teela, in particular, favored me with a commanding gaze.

"You have my personal assurances of that," Aunt Teela said to the doctor, without looking away from me. Grandpa skewered me with his eyes, while Grandma nodded her agreement with her daughter-in-law's comment. Grace, too, gave me the eye. The look on her face settled the issue. I never could say no to her, even BEFORE we became lovers!

"Alright, alright, since you insist!" I said, testily.

"I'm glad to hear that, Kevin," Dr. Khan said, either missing, or choosing to ignore the tension in the room. "I will let you enjoy visiting hours for now. I will see you again this evening. If you need anything, please ring the nurse!"

He strode briskly out of the room, leaving me with my family members. I got up from the bed and settled in the padded reclining chair in the corner of the room, pulling the ridiculous hospital gown more tightly around myself.

In an instant, my beautiful sister was at my side, tenderly stroking my forehead. Her eyes were full of tender adoration as she touched me, reassuring herself that I was okay...ish. Mom was looking at the walls, the ceiling, the floors, anywhere but at me. Grandpa was less poker-faced than he had been yesterday. He stood with his arm around Grandma, looking steadily at Gracie and I. Grandma looked a good deal better than she had yesterday. She'd gained most of her color back.

My Dad looked uncomfortable seeing the way Grace touched me, but he didn't say anything. Elizabeth and Fleur held hands and smiled at us. As I watched, Fleur tenderly kissed Elizabeth's cheek. Uncle James and Aunt Teela stood close to each other and smiled benignly at us. Aunt Lily, for her part, looked like a completely different woman. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, but her head was held high and her back was straight. She didn't hesitate to look us (or anyone else) in the eye.

"We've been doing a lot of talking, Kevin," Grandma began.

Yeah, I'll just bet you have! I thought privately.

Grandma glanced pointedly at my Dad, who took the hint. He looked me in the eye, and sighed quietly.

"Kevin, Grace...kids, your Mom and I both love you more than we can say...but I can't accept you two being together, as a couple, I mean. It's too much for me."

My face, already partially immobile from the pain, became a stony mask. I couldn't see my beloved Grace's expression, but she must have looked stricken. Dad hastily spoke again.

"Now wait, you two! That doesn't mean I reject you, or anything like that! You're still my children, no matter what!" Dad closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, not able to find a way to articulate his feelings.

"I'm not going to shun you," he said with quiet intensity. "I'm not your Uncle Trent, and I never will be, so help me God! But by the same token, I can't accept that the two of you are lovers."

Dad reached out and took Mom's hand, pulling her close to his side so he could hold her. "Your Mom and I have discussed this carefully. We don't want to handicap your futures, especially at this critical point, but we think it's high time you left the house. So we are going to offer you some options."

He raised his hand and ticked each one off as he spoke.

"First, if you two will agree to celebacy, you can continue to live in the house until Kevin graduates. After that, you'll want a place of your own regardless, so it will be out of our hands."

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen," I said, unflinchingly.

"No way!" Grace said in agreement with me.

Dad nodded his head, comletely unsurprised. "No, we suspected that would be a no-go, but we had to try!" He gave us both a humorless grin before he continued.

"Another option would be for the two of you to move out on your own right now. Well, obviously you'll need some time to find a place you can afford, and we will give you that time, but you know what I mean. Again, in that case, it's out of our hands what you two do."

Grace and I nodded our understanding, and I gestured for Dad to continue.

"And the final option is this: you can both stay in the house until Grace graduates this May, and then you both move out immediately afterward. Your Mom and I will continue to send you the funds for the upkeep of our house while you live there, as we have been doing. We will not be there to monitor you, but I ask out of respect that you two confine your lovemaking to either of your two bedrooms, and not 'christen' any other rooms of the house."

"We would agree to that point, regardless, Dad," I said, slightly miffed that he would think we would do that. But, to be fair to him, I guess he must be shaken by the fact that his children were lovers!

Dad didn't respond to my words or my tone. He merely paused a moment to make sure he still had our attention. "No matter which way things go, your Mom and I will continue to take care of your college tuition and books; like I said, we don't want to cripple your ability to get your degrees. But many, many people your age are living on their own by this time already, so we don't feel we're being in any way unfair."

"No, you aren't being unfair, Dad," Gracie replied, and I nodded my agreement with her. Grace looked into my eyes, silently seeking my opinion. I didn't have to give voice to it; she could read me like a book. God, how I loved this amazing woman!

"I think the best option you have offered us is the third, Dad," she said with quiet confidence. "We will stay in the house until I graduate. We'll continue to take care of it and maintain the yard, and so forth. After I graduate, we'll be out of your hair. However, could we possibly delay the move until I select which job offer I'll be taking after graduation?"

"Yes, of course you can, Gracie. That's a reasonable request," Dad replied, with a blink. He obviously hadn't expected the two of us to be so calm and collected. That was silly of him, I reflected to myself. Did he really think Gracie and I hadn't already talked about what we'd do after the big revelation? We had talked about -- and planned for - all kinds of scenarios, and every one Dad had enumerated just now had been on our list of possibilities.

He paused for a minute, silently conferring with Mom in much the same way that Grace and I had done, moments ago. "You both already have title to your own vehicles and pay your own insurance, so those won't be an issue. You are more than welcome to take the furniture in your rooms when you move. In addition, we're willing to supply you with some minor household items you'll need to get started."

Grandma very gently reached over and touched Dad's arm. He took the hint.

"We can go through all of that after Kevin gets released from the hospital, of course. Mainly, we wanted to reassure you that we still love you, and don't want you out of the family, or anything like that. No matter how angry you make us, no matter what choices you make that we just can't agree with, no matter what course you choose to steer in your lives, you will always be our beloved children: our flesh and blood! I can't say it better than James did, yesterday. We have a bond, and a love, that cannot be broken!"

My Mom finally looked at me. I could see the pain in her reddened eyes. I noticed that she wasn't wearing any makeup, probably to eliminate the need to be constantly fixing it.

"I...Kevin, baby, I'm so sorry I hit you!" she said, in an angonized tone. "I don't know how I lost control like that! Even now, seeing you in front of me, I can't believe I did that to you!"

She dropped her eyes and pressed her face into Dad's chest for a moment, before continuing.

"For that moment, I felt like a completely different person. I wasn't your mother, I was...I don't even know how to describe it. I started down a really bad road, kids. It's a road I will NEVER set foot on again. I am NOT my brother Trent, either, and God willing, I never will be!"

Mom and Dad hugged us both. Mom kissed my forehead, dripping her tears on me in the process. The gingerly touched my face as she surveyed the damage she had done. I tentatively put my hand over hers and squeezed it.

"Can you ever for give me, Son?" she whispered.

"I already have! This will heal, Mom," I said, softly. "I love you so much. This doesn't change that!"

"Thank you, Sweetheart," she said, still crying quietly. "It means a lot to me to hear you say that! I love you both, so very, very much!"

We held each other for a moment before she gave me one last watery smile. Then, she and Dad stepped out of the room.

Uncle James and Aunt Teela were the next to say goodbye. Uncle James shook my hand firmly and hugged Gracie tightly.

"We'll be heading back home now, you two," James said. "Never forget that we love you both. And, don't forget to keep in touch!"

Aunt Teela smiled, her exotic, almost ageless face lit with her inner warmth. She too, hugged Grace, then she tenderly kissed my forehead.

"I can only echo James' words," she said. "I wish you the best!"

The two of them departed quietly, hand in hand.

Grandpa shook my hand. I love you too, Kevin, and you, Grace, he signed. I hope you both know what you're getting in to, though. Take care of yourselves, and come visit when you can.

Grandma hugged us both. "Well, your 'coming out' actually went better than I thought it would."

I couldn't help giving her a wry look. "If that went BETTER than you thought it would, I'm pretty sure I don't want to know how you thought it would go!"

"No, you really don't!" she agreed, grimly, without a hint of a smile. "You do realize, of course, that the danger my youngest son poses to you is far from being over and done with, right?"

"Yes," Gracie replied for both of us. "I'd say that's a given."

"His failure to turn the rest of the family against you is only going to make him more angry -- and thus more dangerous," Grandma said. "Don't relax your guard! I couldn't bear it if, after all we've been through up to now, something happened to you! You're my grandchildren, and I love you so much!"

"What are you saying, exactly, Grandma?" I asked. "Do you really think Trent would try something violent? I mean, I have my suspicions..." I shifted my gaze towards Aunt Lily, subtly hinting at what I meant. Grandma, bright as she was, picked up the hint easily. Her expression was very troubled.

"I'm not sure anymore, who that man is," Grandma said, a tear rolling down her cheek. "It's almost like the little boy who was the son I loved is gone, maybe forever. The man that has taken his place is someone I don't trust anymore. I'm not sure what he might be capable of."

She looked Grace and I squarely in the eye, making sure she'd gotten her point across. I was stunned to realize that Grandma was afraid -- really afraid -- for us!

"I think it's at least possible that, since he's failed in his attempt to cause his usual brand of trouble, he might do something a little less...passive. If I knew anything more solid than that, I would have gone to the police myself, regardless of the fact that he's my son! But I don't actually have any proof he's planning something violent, just a strong feeling. Over the years, I've come to trust my instincts!"

"He's an abuser and a wife beater, and probably psychotic," Grace said, her tone indicating surety in her diagnosis. She was holding Aunt Lily in her gaze. I had tried to be subtle, not wanting to upset the poor woman, but Grace had no such concerns.

"I can't make that an actual clinical diagnosis because I haven't graduated -- or sat the state board -- but I'm convinced of that in my own mind. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he turns out to be a sadist as well!"

Lily's eyes broke away from the intensity of Grace's expression for a moment. But then, as if she was drawing strength from her daughter's love, she met Grace's eyes once more. Elizabeth put an arm around her mother, offering her all the support she needed.

"He wasn't always like that," Lily began, "But in the last few years, he became...twisted."

She shuddered in remembrance. "He was always in to some questionable things, but when I was young, I was too! It was one reason we meshed so well, I guess." She glanced apologetically at Elizabeth, aware of the fact that she was wandering into territory that might make her daughter feel awkward.

"He's always enjoyed...rough stuff...in our private life. But, I never dreamed he'd become a-a wife beater," she whispered. "He'd smacked me on the behind, little things like that, but he never really HIT me...until just a few years ago. The change was very gradual. With the stress of having a son on trial for multiple felony charges, two other sons enlisting in the military when we're in the middle of two wars, and a daughter who decided she was a lesbian...I think both of us lost it. I became a submissive, and he became a monster. Our home became a toxic hellhole."

Lily squeezed her daughter close, again. "Please don't interpret what I just said as blaming you, or your brothers for any of that! I didn't mean it that way at all!"

"I know, Momma, it's okay," Elizabeth said, soothingly. "But you need to tell them the rest. Tell them what you told Fleur and I last night, okay? About what you're going to do to move forward."

Aunt Lily nodded her head and took a deep, cleansing breath.

"I'm leaving him," she said, simply. "I can't live like that anymore. I can't believe I went along with it for so long. I can't believe that I let him push my children away! I can't explain why I was so weak! Maybe if I'd been stronger, Jeremy and Craig wouldn't have been driven to join the Marines just to get out of the house, and Jack wouldn't be in prison-"

"Mom, stop it!" Elizabeth said, cutting her off. "It won't help anything to go down the 'what if' road, now! What's done is done, and it can't be undone! What you need to do now is move forward, and work as hard as you can to fix things. I love you! Fleur loves you! Kevin, Grace, Grandma and Grandpa, Uncle Micheal and Aunt Catherine, Uncle James and Aunt Teela, we all love you! You are surrounded by people who love you!"

"What Elizabeth said is true, Lily," Grandma agreed. "However, your leaving Trent will just make him that much more dangerous."