My Saving Grace

Here's part four, as promised. Thanks goes out yet again to all those who take the time to vote and comment. Enjoy! - CM

"Talk to me about what you're doing with Grace, Kevin," she began. "And don't bother lying to me. It won't end well for you if you do."

My breath caught in my throat as I stared at her in shock. Her face was devoid of emotion, but I could see something smoldering in her eyes. Something, indefinable. Did she know something? I wondered. How? Is she bluffing me, hoping to get me to say something? I blinked, and for the first time I found myself in fear of a member of my own family.

Grandma sat there next to me, her gaze never wavering. Finally, she spoke again, breaking the spell. "Out with it, boy!"

"I don't know what you mean, Grandma," I said.

"Kevin, I've owned a steakhouse for the better part of 40 years. Among other things, that means I can always recognize Bull when I see it! I'm not letting go of this, Kevin. There is something going on between you and Grace; something well beyond even the closest sibling relationship. Tell me NOW!"

I sighed. Alright, fine. She wants to know, then I'll tell her. I've wanted to tell someone anyway, I just never dreamed it would be Grandma, of all people. It was make or break right now. If this went south, Grandma could find ways to make our lives a living hell.

"Grandma, Grace and I have kissed and touched. We haven't made love yet, but we will. Grace and I are in love with each other, and that's the end of it."

Her eyes widened, and then narrowed again, anger rising to the surface. "And just what would you know about love? You're 20 years old, for Heaven's sake! You're taking advantage of your OWN SISTER!"

"I don't know what love is?!" I replied, suddenly enraged. How dare she? "Let me tell you something, Grandmother, I know EXACTLY what love is!" Heedless of the fact that I was stark naked beneath the blanket, and that I was hooked into several IV lines, I struggled to my feet. I could hear the warbling of my bed exit alarm, but I didn't care. This was a challenge that was going to be answered!

In spite of her anger with me, Grandma's maternal instincts kicked in and she reached for me as I wobbled unsteadily. "Kevin, what the hell are you doing? Get back in bed this instant!"

"Look at this, Grandma!" I said, pointing at the 15 stitches that held the deep cut on my left thigh closed. Next, I pointed out the IV lines in my right arm. "Look at all this plastic spaghetti they have plugged into me! Do you really think I would deliberately put myself through all of this, in order to take advantage of her?! Do you really think I need to go this far just to get LAID?!"

My injured leg gave out and I landed on the edge of the bed. I steadied myself, still staring her down.

"The last thing I thought before I jumped in that water was this: I would rather die with Grace, than live without her. If I hadn't been able to reach her, I wouldn't have left that pond. If she hadn't started breathing on her own, I would have worked on her until I collapsed! And if she had died there on the bank in spite of everything, I would have laid down next to her, so we could sleep together forever!"

My eyes bored into hers, and I wasn't going to be the one to look away first. Damn it, NO ONE was going to tell me I didn't know what love is! "I love Grace, Grandma. I love her with my whole being. No matter what has me upset, her touch can calm me. I feel my mood improve when she just walks in the room. She is the focus of my life, Grandma! And make no mistake, she loves me too. I have never felt this way with anyone. Not ever."

I took a second to let myself cool down before continuing. "I've thought about this a lot over the last month. I'm not emotionally running away from Kelly; I'm running towards Grace! What we have together is perfect."

"Perfect!" she snorted. "It's wrong! It's incest, and it's unnatural-"

"It doesn't FEEL unnatural, Grandma! It feels RIGHT! She fills in gaps within me that I never even realized were there before."

"But Kevin, she's your sister! Yes, you've saved her life twice, but how can you say you're not playing the emotions from these incidents to your advantage just to get what you want?"

"Because if all I wanted was to get in her panties, I could have done that many times over by now," I said, my voice uncompromising. From down the hall, I could hear rapid footsteps. Probably Hannah or another nurse coming to see what's going on.

"Grandma, I'm a virgin. Yes, in this day and age, I'm an honest-to-God VIRGIN at the age of 20. I never had sex with Kelly either. The reason is the same: I loved her so very, very much, and I thought she was worth waiting for! Well, if I thought Kelly was worth it, how much more so is Grace?"

"Grandma, I'm not a drooling idiot, but Grace is much smarter than I'll ever be. She's resilient, both mentally and physically. In spite of the pain love has brought her, she's not afraid to try again! She truly, deeply, cares about the people in her life. She's the most giving and generous person I know. Add to that the fact that she is stunningly beautiful, and you have the total package, as they used to say. There is precious little I wouldn't do for Grace. There's nothing I wouldn't sacrifice for her. My life is hers, if she wants it. One day, we will have children. I will make her my wife, in practice if not in law. At least she won't have to change her name!" I said, not able to resist at least a little humor.

"Grandma, I love you, and Grandpa, and Mom, and Dad...but you aren't going to stand in my way. None of you will. I love Grace, and she loves me, and that's how it is. I hope you won't choose to cut us out of your life. I hope you will, if not accept our love, then at least tolerate it. I hope that, when the day comes that Grace wears my ring, you will wish us well. I hope you will welcome your great-grandchildren – if by God's grace you are still here with us. But if you can't see a way to do that, then I understand. I will respect your wishes and leave you alone. I won't hate you for it. But let me be absolutely clear: if my only choice is to give up my love for Grace, or give up a relationship with the rest of you, I will stay with Grace. "

"Kevin!" came a very soft sob from the doorway. I turned and saw Grace standing there, hands over her mouth, eyes streaming tears. She rushed to my side and hugged me fiercely. "Oh my God, baby, I love you so much! What you said about me...was so...beautiful!"

Gracie held me in a death grip, sobbing against my bare shoulder. But I knew her well enough to know that these were tears of joy, not sorrow. Here in front of a witness, I had declared my deepest feelings in terms that could not be misunderstood. As Winston Churchill once said, 'Here we stand. We can do no other!' (And no, I'm not comparing myself to a great statesman, I'm just cribbing a really good line.)

I held my beautiful Grace close to me, caressing her back, still not looking away from my Grandmother's face. I could see turmoil there, and something else I'd never seen from her before: indecision!

Naturally, Hannah chose that moment to rush into the room. "Kevin what-" she broke off, surveying the scene. "Uh, is everything...I mean, do you need any...let me help you back into bed, okay?"

Hannah shut off the annoying bed exit alarm and helped me under the covers. As she untangled my IV lines, she cast a deeply disapproving glance in Grandma's direction. She obviously wasn't sure what was going on, but her instincts must have been telling her that Grandma was the antagonist here.

"There we go, Kevin," she said. "If you need anything, hit your call button. DO NOT get out of bed on your own. If you fall, you might bust those sutures open, and that will make you my guest for a few more days! Clear?"

"Yes, Hannah. Very clear," I said apologetically.

"I think it's time you let him rest," she said next, addressing her comments to both of the other women. "Visiting hours will start again at 1pm. That's only a few hours to wait." Giving my Grandma another stern look, Hannah left.

My Grandma stared at the floor for a moment, and when she looked up I could see the tears in her eyes as well. Her moment of indecision seemed to have passed. To my hopeful eyes, it almost looked like...was she willing to accept this?

"I...I didn't realize, Kevin...Grace." Her frail shoulders shook once in a brief sob of emotion. "You do know what love is, Kevin; I'm so sorry I doubted you. I could never carve the two of you out of my life. You've been such a joy, the both of you!"

Her expression was loving again, as she looked us over. "But you do realize, don't you, what a hard road you have ahead of you? Do you have any idea of the storms waiting on the horizon for you?"

"Oh, I think we both have an idea," Grace said, dryly. "Are you...are you going to tell everyone else?"

"No," Grandma said without hesitation. "It's really not my place to do that. No, you two are going to tell everyone, not me."

She shifted uncomfortably in her chair, and then stood. "This is something you cannot hide long-term, even if it was best you did. And honestly, I don't know how long you can hide it in the short term either, considering the way you act."

"What do you mean?" I asked, incredulously.

For the first time, Grandma cracked a genuine laugh. "Kevin, honey, I'm old, not blind! How do you think I got suspicious to begin with? In just the short time we were all together on Thanksgiving, I noticed a great many things that 'clued me in,' as you young people say. The way you two look at each other, the way you're always touching – and I do mean always! Your body language is plain as day: I could tell that if you weren't already lovers, you soon would be. And then, there was a certain kiss I happened to witness while I was clipping some fresh herbs in the greenhouse. (Not very discrete, Kevin!)"

Grace and I stared at each other in wide-eyed amazement, and Grandma laughed again. "Not as sneaky as you thought you were, huh?"

"Obviously not," I muttered, a little humiliated. I'd thought we were discrete, but thinking back I realized Grandma was right.

Grandma shook her head, and smirked at me. Her expression was an odd mixture, containing equal parts love, amusement, bewilderment, exasperation, tolerance, and sadness.

"I was young once too, you know! How do you think your Mother and your Uncles got here? The Stork?" she asked, finally. "Look, I'm not going to threaten you or give you ultimatums; you are adults, and you, Kevin, have proven to me that you are willing to put your life on the line. What could I possibly do to stand in your way? But having said that, I will give you this advice, and it's the advice of someone who loves you both, very very much, so please listen! When the moment comes that you reveal your love to the rest of the Family, be sure it happens on your terms! Be sure that you choose the moment. Don't let the moment choose you! Do you understand what it is that I'm trying to say?"

I looked at Grace. She nodded her head, affirmatively. "I think we do, Grandma," she answered for both of us.

"Good." Grandma leaned in and kissed us both. As she turned to leave, she paused for one more word. "I love you both, and in spite of what I said earlier, I'm proud of you. You are a good man, Kevin. I cannot say I understand the love between the two of you, but there is no denying that it's there. I...I wish you well."

With that, she turned and left. Gracie tenderly pressed me back and lowered the head of my bed a little. She smiled, her eyes still red with her happy tears. My God, she was beautiful!

"I have to leave too, my love," Grace whispered, stroking my face tenderly. "I'll be back as soon as they let me. Nothing is going to keep us apart, Kevin. Never."

She leaned in and kissed my lips. She was gentle, mindful of all my sore places. Her gentle hands soothingly caressed me while her tongue traced lightly over my lips. She broke the kiss after a moment, not wanting to get me hard. She stood, and reluctantly left my room.

As I laid back against the pillows I noticed that I was shaking. The nervous tension, and the intense emotional release had drained the last of my strength away. Plus, I was still weak from the injury and loopy from the painkillers. It shouldn't be surprising that, in spite of what had just taken place, I fell immediately and deeply asleep.

###

The next visit with my family went much more smoothly, fortunately. Grace sat by the head of my bed on the left, and Mom by the right. Mom didn't seem to want to let go of my hand. I could tell that Gracie badly wanted to be holding my hand as well, but Grandma's observations – and advice – was still ringing in our ears.

So, little though she enjoyed it, she sat and contented herself by occasionally adjusting my blanket while Mom fussed over me. I couldn't help but notice that Grandma would occasionally look at Grace with a knowing smirk, usually just after she had fiddled with the blanket.

My Father and Grandfather stood at the foot of my bed, letting the three ladies have the chairs and pay me the attention. Both of them, I noted, had puffed out their chests slightly, apparently proud that they had raised a man that would go to any measure to save a woman. I fervently hoped that they wouldn't lose that pride in me when they learn about my true feelings for Grace.

As visiting hours were again coming to a close, a nurse (not Hannah, sadly) stepped in. "Excuse me, folks, just a few more minutes before visiting hours are over. However," she continued, "I can tell you that Dr. Khan is definitely releasing Mr. Richmond to home care tomorrow morning."

She looked around the room. "Which one of you will be assisting him at home?"

"I will!" Mom and Grace said simultaneously. They looked at each other, then at the nurse, then back at each other.

"We both will," they said, again in unison. Dad and Grandma chuckled, and Grandpa signed, asking what was so funny. The nurse had spoken too quickly for him to lip-read, and Mom wasn't facing his way. While Dad relayed the hilarity to Grandpa, the Nurse went over the home care instructions with Mom and Grace. Oddly, no one involved seemed interested in whether or not the patient (me) had anything to say – about anything. But I guess that's the way it goes.

True to form, I was released the next day...at 2 in the afternoon! I guess accurate time-keeping isn't included in the service, I thought to myself as I was wheeled towards the front doors. I'd been given crutches, but they wouldn't let me use them. They insisted on giving me a wheelchair ride out of the place.

Grace waited for me in her Jeep. The only vehicles we owned that I could get in and out of with my leg immobilized were Grace's Jeep and my own Subaru. Dad's Camero and Mom's Bug were definite no-gos. And the RV...don't get me started! Thank God this wouldn't last long. It's also a good thing my Professors agreed to let me do some of my coursework online, so I could still take my semester finals on time. I shuddered, imagining what it would be like to have to take a bunch of incompletes.

Hannah helped me into the car – the lady was a good deal stronger than she appeared! She then patted my shoulder and smiled warmly at me. "Kevin, don't take this the wrong way, but I really hope not to see you here again!"

I understood exactly what she meant! "Thanks, Hannah," I said, smiling as she closed the door for me. Grace loaded my crutches and the discharge papers unceremoniously onto the back seat. Watching in the side mirror, I saw Hannah stop her and say something in her ear. Grace stared at the slightly older woman for a long moment before replying. I was curious about what they were discussing, but I couldn't make out their words and my painkillers were starting to wear off.

Finally, Gracie embraced Hannah in brief but fierce hug, and she got in behind the wheel. "You okay, Sweetheart?" she asked me.

I grimaced, but nodded. "I'll be okay as soon as we get my prescriptions filled. My leg feels like it's on fire." Looking at Grace, I noticed her troubled expression and decided to try and distract her. "How did I get cut, baby? I don't remember it happening."

She shook her head, grimly. "I'm not surprised you don't remember, honey. You were...you were almost gone, when it happened." Gracie paused for a moment to gather herself, then continued.

"As Dad told me, what happened was this: you somehow managed to get to the back door with me in your arms. Dad and Grandma heard something banging against the door. When Dad went to see what was going on, he saw you standing there, basically naked and holding me in your arms, wrapped in your parka. When Dad opened the door, you pushed me into his arms and collapsed. Apparently, at some point you knocked over and broke that old glass patio table Grandma and Grandpa had on the back porch, and when you collapsed, one of the larger fragments carved you up like a roast."

We were both quiet for a long moment after that. Gracie drove to the CVS we always used, and dropped off my prescriptions. We waited outside in the Jeep; it gave us the first alone time we'd had in way too long.

"Kevin," she whispered softly, her voice caressing my name. "Honey, you very nearly bled out before Mom used some cooking twine as a tourniquet. You could have drowned, or died of hypothermia..." her voice trailed off. There was so much emotion in her voice, on her face. She buried her face in my shoulder. My pain forgotten for the moment, I held her close. I kissed the top of her head and stroked her beautiful hair.

"Then, there's what you said to Grandma," she continued, looking up to make eye contact again. "Kevin, you not only risked your life to save mine, you risked everything else on a roll of the dice, trusting that Grandma would understand." She shook her head in awe. "Kevin, I knew you loved me. I could feel it, but until now, I didn't truly comprehend just how deeply you love me! When you told Grandma those things, about how you'd rather die with me than live without me...Kevin, no one has ever loved me that way before! And, I've never loved anyone like that, either...until now."

"You're willing to sacrifice everything for me! I don't know how I can be worthy of that kind of love from you, but I do know this: I'm going to spend the rest of our lives trying to be worthy!" She gently cupped my cheeks in her palms and gazed devotedly into my eyes. I was mesmerized by the intensity of her stare. Her eyes – my God, her beautiful hazel eyes! - were like deep pools of feeling. I could easily fall into them and never find my way out, and be happy about it.

"Kevin, I will be deeply honored and proud to wear your ring. It will be the greatest pleasure and joy for me to bear your child – or children! I will be your wife and your sister, your friend and lover, and all of the other things we are for each other, until it's time for us to die! I am yours, and you are mine!"

I have never been so moved in my life as I was at this moment. It was completely overwhelming. No wedding vows could match this passion or intensity! The fire in her eyes told me the truth of her words. It was the exact same overwhelming sensation she had felt when she heard me speak to our Grandmother, I realized. I still didn't know all the answers to the many problems we would face in the future, but I was more certain now than ever before that it was worth the trouble and the pain. This bond, this deep love between us was real and solid; it would endure the hardships I knew would come.

There were no words in any spoken language that could express what we felt. Fortunately, none were needed. At the same exact moment, we leaned in to each other and kissed. It was the hottest kiss I've ever felt. I could feel and sense every bit of Gracie. The taste of her mouth, the smooth creamy skin of her neck beneath my fingers, the slight trembling of her muscles that was brought on by the depth of her emotion...I could smell the subtle fragrance of her perfume, the clean warm scent of her skin, and the faintest hint of her passion. All these things and more flooded my senses; for just that moment I felt we were as one.