Part 1
After she left our room, I cleaned myself off with a paper towel and put my pants back on, not bothering with my underwear. Taking the five Dollars, I exited to the hall, went down the stairs and out to the sidewalk. The sun was still up and the weather was perfect as I started walking, still numb from what all had just happened, buzzed from the vodka and with no idea where I was going.
I wandered without much on my mind, just jumbled images of Mum's panties, nipples and her face when she came. When I came. Eventually, I found myself behind a hotel, on a boardwalk that offered a nice view of that part of the harbor and I leaned against the steel railing, looking out over the water in silent solitude.
"Okay..." I started under my breath. "I had sex with Mum."
"No, not sex, it was..."
"It was sex. You don't have to actually copulate to have sex. I had sex with her. I came right in my own mother's face and enjoyed it.
She
enjoyed it. What does that make me? What does it make
her
? Oh my fuck, it all goes to hell in a hand basket so fast..."
"Yeah, you fucked
that
up, didn't you? What do we do now? What, what, what?"
"I shoot myself in the head," I answered for some reason, suddenly thinking of my grandfather and shivering at how that option leapt to mind.
"You are
not
going to shoot yourself in the head. Fuck, imagine what that would do to poor Mum... No, this has to be dealt with. You've got to
deal
with this shit, Stevo."
" ... How?"
" ... I don't know."
"She's getting outta hand. I'm worried."
"But she's not, really. Maybe where we're concerned, but you know she has her shit together in a practical sense."
I thought of our new rental payment plan and hissed a short, humourless laugh over how some of her practical shit was together.
About fifty feet out, a large, perfectly white seagull suddenly came to a brief, wing flapping, ungainly hover. Picking some invisible thing from the water, it beat its wings to forward flight again, regaining its supple and powerful perfection of grace as it retreated in a slow curve about a foot above the surface. It disappeared from my line of sight around the side of the hotel and a thought occurred to me, like something the gull had left in return for its unseen prize.
"She
was
there all along. No, not all along... Since my early teens. She became stricter then, right about the time she and Dad started growing apart, whereas before she wasn't so bad. Yeah... My other mother's just more pronounced now. Because... Mum and Sheila were doing some mighty bad things back when they were kids, sociopathic things and Mum wouldn't have grown
out
of that; she told me that it only ever gets worse, never better, so my other mother
has
been there... and the real question is, how did my so-called 'real' mother come about between her days with Sheila and when she became strict? And how does any of this impact on the fact that I'm being forced to have sex with her and that a growing part of me is coming to accept it?"
"Yeah... Well, it was good. Oh shit, the look on her face when we came into it over and over... Fuck, it was so good. Staci was just an idiot."
"Oh my god, listen to you. Why... How did this shit happen? How did we let it happen? How could we have taken total take advantage of Mum while she's obviously not herself? God, it's getting so I can't even be around her now without getting a hardon! Shit!"
"Cause you're a horny, twisted little pervert, like you always knew."
" ... Fuck off, that doesn't help one bit."
" ... The truth never seems to, does it? Truth can be pretty inconvenient that way," I sighed.
"I'll say."
That wasn't me answering. My heart leapt to my chest as I realized I'd been so wrapped up in my mumbled thoughts that I'd allowed someone to quietly walk up beside me unnoticed, my eyes still focused in the general direction of the gull's flight.
I felt myself flushing as I turned to behold what appeared to be a priest. A female one. She stood there, unlikely as a gang of pirates sailing into port, wearing a black pantsuit, the little white collar at her neck removing any doubt that the bible clutched in her hand may have left.
The priest was younger than Mum, maybe in her mid thirties, shorter with dark brown, shoulder length hair and green eyes. She was of average build, although moderately endowed for her size, with hips and boobs that modestly flowed in her well fitting attire of office. She exuded a friendly, open vibe as I fretted about what all she may have heard.
"I'm sorry, I startled you."
" ... Uh-hh. A little. It's alright."
"I'm Pastor Marx," she said, holding out her hand.
I stared stupidly at it for a moment before I took it, shaking and daring a look in her eyes to judge how long she'd been standing there. Her grip surprisingly firm, I continued to just look, at a loss for anything to say as my anxiety grew. Her green eyes didn't seem to hold any disgust, or holy judgment from above that I could see, but she seemed to look closely, almost as though she was distracted.
"May I ask your name?"
"Uh... oh, sorry. It's Steve."
"Well, I'm pleased to meet you, Steve."
"Likewise," I replied, my earlier thoughts completely wiped away.
"I don't mean to pry and I hope you don't think I was standing here eavesdropping, but you seem to be bothered by something."
"I... yeah, I was just... thinking."
"About some inconvenient truth?"
I nodded, tearing my eyes away from her attractive face to return them to the water, more or less satisfied that my 'outside thoughts' hadn't betrayed me and taking mental note to watch that from then on.
"Like the kind of inconvenient truth Al Gore goes on about?"
"Not exactly."
"Yeah... Well you know... if all the inconvenient truths in life were to be packed into that one movie, nobody would have the time to experience them for the time they'd have to spend watching it."
"You're probably right, especially once you add the ones you'd never have expected."
"Mmm," she agreed thoughtfully, leaning on the railing and looking out over the water as well. "I once prayed for wisdom when I was younger."
" ... Did you get it?"