Chapter Five: Loss
I don't know how long I lay in His embrace. We watched at least three films and a few sitcoms though. He lay with His back in the corner of our little blue couch, His legs across the seats with me lying between them, my back to His chest. His big arms were warm around my waist and His fingers stroked lazy patterns on my skin. It actually felt nice. But it also scared me. What was His game? Was He trying to lull me into a false sense of security? Once I relaxed, would He pounce? I couldn't tell.
In the last few days, I had come to expect a certain level of cruelty and humiliation from Him. I was resigned to the fact that I was His and had no control over His actions towards me. I had gone through several emotional changes and was now at another. I was afraid. I was afraid that He was changing. That His being nice to me was a sign that He cared. And I didn't want that. I wanted Him to be cruel and harsh and hateful. It made it so much easier to hate Him then. I wanted to hate Him. It was easier to hate Him. My hate was my focus. My hate for Him distracted from the betrayal and pain. Yes, hate was good. I needed to hate.
So why was it getting harder? Why was it that every small kiss to my hair, every rub of Him fingers, every comforting squeeze, was taking my hate and replacing it with....familiarity and peace? Was I insane and hadn't realised? Where was the peace coming from?
As we watched yet another rerun of Friends, His hands slowly ran up my arms to my shoulders and back. I could feel His hips shifting beneath me. His fingers dug into the tense muscles of my shoulders and I couldn't stop the small moan of pleasure. My spin arched of its own accord and my ass pressed into His groin. He took this as a signal and His wandering hands found my breasts and continued their work, massaging and chasing away my tension. The firm pressure was delicious and my body responded with a small flood of liquid from between my legs. As I was still naked from our earlier encounter, the liquid slowly dripped down between the crease of my ass and onto His trousers.
His skilled fingers caressed my flesh, rubbing and flicking my nipples until they were hard buds, standing at attention. The attention to my breasts was causing a lovely fluttering feeling in my stomach and pussy and my body wanted more. My knees fell open, spreading my sex and my hands clenched and twisted against His trouser legs. I felt conflicted. My body wanted more of His attention, but my mind wanted nothing to do with Him. My body begged for His touch while my mind begged for His departure.
As He slipped His fingers down my stomach, I shuddered. His fingers found my open pussy and dived between the swollen, wet outer lips. He strummed my clit and rimmed my hole. Teasing and tormenting me with light touches that left me wanting more. I groaned and thrust up against His fingers. I needed to feel something inside my burning channel. I needed to feel full. My arms wound around His neck and His panting breath bathed my ear. His own hips were pushing against my ass and He was moaning my name.
Two of His fingers slammed into my little channel and the pressure and feel of them wiggling inside me set me off. I came, hard and long. I groaned and panted and shuddered in His arms and He Held me tight and whispered hotly in my ear.
