This is a true love story
My father did not raise me. He left my mother and me when I was still a baby. He did keep in contact and saw me occasionally. I must have seen him only on Sundays because I remember calling him my Sunday Daddy. I have just a few memories of him, mostly remembering that he was fun to be with and affectionate. He did tuck me in at night and gave me kisses and hugs all the time.
Before I even entered school, my father moved away. At the time, I really didn't understand what this meant. It was important, though, and I remember watching a plane in the sky and asking my mother if Daddy was on that plane. I never heard from him again. From that time on, I didn't think too much about him. My mother found another man and married him, and I was happy to be in a family.
As I grew older, I started to think of my Daddy, and when I was 18, I got up the nerve to ask my mother to help me find him. I know this hurt her, but I wanted to know where I came from and who the other part of me was. Much to my surprise, my mother found his address and gave it to me. She was sad that I wanted to do this, trying not to make it seem I was somehow being disloyal. In some way, I think she understood why. She wished me luck in contacting him.
My father was living in LA, far from me. I wrote a letter, then rewrote a letter, and several drafts later, I finally had one letter. What do I say to someone who may or may not want me in his life? Dear Dad? Remember me? I had not seen nor heard from him since that long-ago day. Does he even want to know me? I don't remember what that letter said. I just mailed it. And prayed he would answer.
For the first two weeks, I was afraid to get the mail. I watched for his answer with hope as well as trepidation. After one month, I started to think he was not going to answer. Well, what did I expect? Here I was barging into his life. After about six weeks, I stopped looking for a letter. When you stop searching, what you want comes to you. A letter arrived almost two months after I had mailed mine.
My hands trembled as I opened it, afraid of what it said. Tears poured forth, but they were tears of joy. He wanted me. He was interested in me. He missed me over the years and couldn't believe his luck that I wanted to know him, too. We started sending letters back and forth getting to know each other, talking about our lives.
Time passed quickly and my life at home was changing. I was a grown woman now, or thought I was at 20. I felt I wanted a different life and asked Dad if I could move in with him and start a new life in LA. He talked this over with his wife, and since I was this man's only daughter, she agreed to let me stay with them for a time. My father sent a plane ticket to me and I flew to LA to meet the man I really never knew.
I was very nervous when I got off that plane, not knowing what to expect. However, there was my Daddy, with a huge smile on his face and love in his eyes. He hugged me tight to him and just about never let me go. He introduced me to his wife, a different woman from the one he had left my mother for. She was open and friendly, happy to share in this family reunion.
I spent a lot of time alone with my father. We talked and talked. We went sight-seeing and out to eat. We went for walks and talked even more. I found out his reasons for leaving my mother and me. I also found out that he never had any other children. I was his one and only. I was surprised and felt even more special than he was already making me feel. I discovered so much of myself in knowing my father. We had many things in common.
Even after all the years apart, I can't remember ever calling him anything other than Dad. And every possible second he could, Dad was touching me, holding me, hugging me. I enjoyed the attention he gave to me and eagerly allowed his every touch. Our relationship grew in many ways, and in other ways that I would come to know later.
I was busy after I arrived, and being an independent person, I figured out the bus system and found myself a job, which I started immediately. I made my way around and started to settle in. Dad was pleased that I was able to find work so quickly and make my way. The thing that brought joy to my heart was how proud he was of me. I only wanted to make him happy.
My new life was building quickly. My employer was impressed with me and was talking of an early promotion. I was making new friends and learning the joys of California living. I was very happy. One of my pleasures was in taking long walks with Dad. I had wanted to get into better shape and he wanted to spend the time with me. We walked miles around the neighborhood, talking, laughing and holding hands.
At the end of our walks, before going inside, we would kiss goodnight, give a warm hug, then go in the house. A soft peck, as a father and daughter would, and a close, firm hug of love. On one of these nights, it occurred to me that this kiss lasted a little longer, and the hug was a little closer. I looked into Dad's eyes and saw his love, but something else as well. I dismissed this and went to bed as usual.
After each nightly walk, Dad held our goodnight kiss longer, and I was the one who would break away. I don't remember when exactly I had to start breaking out of Dad's embrace as well as ending the kiss, but as I did, each night, he would slide his hands down my arms. He looked me deep in the eyes and would whisper, "I love you."
Now, I was becoming confused. I started questioning myself. These kisses and hugs were starting to seem more than fatherly love. Or was I just being silly? This man loved me, wanted me with him, cherished me as his only daughter. Yet, while getting ready for bed after our goodnight hugs, I would feel my lips tingling from his and my arms would hold the feeling of his hands on me. But, from my father? The love I saw in his eyes was because I was his child, right?
It was on the weekend and Dad's wife was out shopping for the day. Dad and I rented movies and sat next to each other on the couch watching sci-fi B movies, laughing at the bad acting and having a good time. Since I had moved in with him, I had the spot on the couch next to him, sitting with my feet tucked up next to me and cuddled in the curve of his arm. I was safe there, loved. This was not unusual, and was, in fact, our habit. Dad was caressing my shoulders and I found his fingers tracing the collar of my shirt and tickling the hairs at my neck. With a start, I realized I was feeling aroused. I can't even imagine what the look was on my face when I turned to Dad. He was looking at me and had a twinkle in his eyes. I sat up and away from him, but said nothing for a minute. Abruptly, I got up and announced I was going to make popcorn, leaving the couch and my father behind.
I started to make popcorn and pour pop in glasses. My hands were trembling. I just couldn't put together in my mind that my father's touch was arousing me sexually. I had been taught that was wrong. I was so startled that I jumped when I felt my father embrace me from behind. He had quietly come in the kitchen and slipped his arms around my waist. He whispered in my ear that he loved me. I was trembling all over, sure that he could tell. He turned me to face him and told me to let him kiss me, like he wanted to kiss me. I was stunned and could only nod.
Dad put his lips to mine, gently at first, then with ever increasing pressure. I jumped again when I felt his tongue trace the middle line of my pressed lips. I pushed against him, denying this was happening. He pulled a little away and I breathlessly uttered, "No."
"Yes," he replied. "Because I love you so much." He pressed his lips to mine again and forced my own to open to him. I felt his tongue gently exploring my mouth. I don't remember if I was breathing. I wasn't moving. I was stunned and my mind was reeling. Even as Dad deepened his kiss, he pressed closer to me and I was without doubt feeling his erection pressing against me. I was undone.