My in-Law Art/porn Affair

Jim, my father in law, said "As my solicitor, can I speak to you in confidence? I mean that you won't even tell my daughter about this conversation."

I was intrigued why Jim would not want me to tell Lilly, my wife, about whatever he was about to tell me. I feared that it might be something bad. Perhaps he had terminal cancer.

ATTORNEY - CLIENT PRIVILEGE

I am indeed Jim's solicitor and so I know all about attorney-client privilege. I could be struck off the register of Incorporated Solicitors and be sued.

If I am not struck off, the main penalty would be losing clients. Very few people want to be advised or represented by a playboy.

I had never had a privileged conversation with a client in a swimming pool changing room. I had never stood there naked with a client also totally devoid of clothing. We were waited for the other men to finish with their showering and there were no other men there.

I replied "I will be as silent as the grave. What is it that you want to tell me?"

THE REQUEST

Jim, my father in law, said "Edith wants to be filmed with you fucking her. And then for both of us to be filmed fucking her. We have a couple of friends who are handy with a video camera. They have a few videos that you can watch online.

They aren't into porn, they are erotic artists. Edith has always fancied you. She likes seeing you in your swimming shorts. She is jealous that I get to see you naked.

I know it is a bit rich being asked to cuckold your wife with her mother. But Edith is a determined lady. She wants you, despite you being married to our daughter. In fact that adds an extra dimension to the eroticism.

Lots of men want to fuck a mother and daughter. Few are given the opportunity to have an affair with their wife's mother and have the father's blessing and his active participation.

And this isn't just sex it is ART."

MY INITIAL RESPONSE

I know that my in laws are pretty broad minded, going to nudist beaches and to dogging sites and such like. But this was a "totally out there" request.

I had not considered Edith sexually. It was something of a shock to be considered sexually by her. But it fuelled my ego. I didn't know Edith fancied me but I liked that she did.

I said "I have never been unfaithful to Lilly. I am also dependent on my clients who expect a certain level of behaviour. There is also a moral problem in committing adultery."

Jim said "Edith didn't expect you to agree straight away. She just wanted me to put down a marker. You haven't given me a positive rejection of her proposal. That is a good sign."

INTERRUPTED (THANKFULLY)

One of the showers became available and Jim went to have his post swim hose down. Then the other shower became available. I took my time. I wanted to procrastinate. Proscrastination may be "the thief of time" but it can also be a handy weapon when faced with a difficult decision. And this was not only a major decision but an extraordinarily difficult one.

I didn't want to offend my in laws, or lose them as clients. But I didn't want to have extra marital sex either. I needed the wisdom of Solomon when deciding which woman would have custody of a child.

A HOLDING REPLY

I said "I haven't accepted Edith's proposal either. Before I reply I will have to re-examine the rules about solicitors having sex with their clients.

And the law about filming sex between consenting adults."

I had given a holding reply. But I had also indicted that if my solicitor's rules and the law allowed it, I might comply with Jim's extraordinary request."

Jim said "I will tell Edith."

RULES ABOUT SOLICITORS HAVING SEX WITH THEIR CLIENTS.

I found out that one solicitor had a 7 year affair with his client. The client's husband complained to the solicitors' complaints bureau. The solicitor was cleared of misconduct.

Solicitors who become sexually involved with a client must consider this would impair their ability to act in the best interests of the client.

So, providing I always acted in the best interests of Edith and Jim, we could have a 3some and I would not be charged with misconduct.

But I was in no hurry to update my in-laws.

A LAWYER'S JOKE

Question What's the difference between a doctor and a lawyer?

Answer A doctor can touch his patient's body but not her money; a lawyer can lay his hands on his client's money but not her body.

JIM, EDITH, LILLY AND ME.

Jim is 58 and is quite fit for his age. As well as swimming he does weights and runs half marathons. He took redundancy from a job he hated 2 years ago. He is fitter now he has retired than when he worked. His flaccid appendage is of normal size.

EDITH

Edith 55 is attractive in a one-piece bathing suit. She is usually well dressed but sometimes wears dresses that show off her cleavage. She has short greying hair and wears little make up. She has put on a lot of weight and only the only exercise she takes is swimming.

I knew my in-laws are both into naturism and dogging. Now I know they are into Art/Porn films and a 3some.

MY WIFE

Lilly 28 and I have been married for 3 years and have been an item for 8 years. Lilly is slim petite and disapproves of her parents' lifestyle. We used to watch Sex Education porn together "for ideas". Now we have settled down to using 4 sex positions, but mostly it is the Missionary position.

Lilly is prudish about nudity and sex scenes and detests horror movies.

Lilly works as a Teaching Assistant. It is her dream job. She gets to interact with the children but doesn't have the hassle of preparing teaching plans, evaluating them and preparing for parents' nights. She doesn't fear the dreaded School Inspectors, like the trained teachers do.

We had planned to have a child together by now. But with my work load taking over the chambers Lilly just kept on taking the pill. I hope she will stop using the pill in a year or 2.

ME

I am Stephen 40 a solicitor manager in my own firm. It is unusual for someone so young to run his own firm. I would like to think it is because I am brilliant and talent will be recognised. Unfortunately it is because I took over from my father, who died only aged 49. My family have a history of dying young. I try to take care of my body because I fear death.

I employ 2 junior solicitors, Liz and Brian, and a legal Secretary, Fiona.

They are all dedicated and effective in their roles. But I don't have my father's flair for management. Lilly says, rightly, that I need to delegate more. I know Lilly is right but I micromanage through fear that one of the solicitors will make a mistake and lose our reputation and our clients.

My marriage, including my sex life, is great. I rarely have problems sleeping, which is unusual for people with high pressure jobs. Lilly is the reason I can relax. This isn't just because of post coital drowsiness but because she fully supports me.

THE HALF TRUTH

Taking advantage of Lilly going on a team bonding course I arranged to stay overnight with Edith and Jim. I told my wife a half truth. I said that I was staying with them overnight. This was true. I didn't reveal that we would be watching porn all night.

I suppose it was a one-third truth. I didn't tell Lilly that this was a preparation for me making her a cuckold. Actually thinking about it further, I suppose it is a quarter truth. I didn't reveal that the moment when she became a cuckold would be filmed.

That was the start of me being less than truthful with Lilly. It is a dangerous road to go down.

MORALITY

I know all this makes me out to be immoral. But when the penis wants something morality can fly out of the window. As someone who handles divorces, I know this is an indisputable fact.

I had already reached the threshold for a separation and divorce. I was in deep and needed a way out. But the only way out was to continue with a possible affair and a possible divorce.

It didn't help that many others had been in the same position. When it is you everything matters. And I desperately wanted to be immoral but feel moral. That is a square that is impossible to circle.

The philosopher Thomas Hobbes thought it possible to square the circle. It just shows how wrong even the brainiest people can be. If immorality is like a square then it can not be turned into a moral circle. They are distinct entities. And talking of titties, brings me back to thinking of mum-in-law.