My name is Ron, I'm forty five, divorced and living in a flat over a takeaway, or rather a one room pit, with no development potential. I am overweight, overtired and overworked. My employers offices are on the Enterprise Park about a mile from here. I'm in IT and I do strange hours and live off the food my landlord sells downstairs.
Technically, I've found that a man can live on Burgers, Fries and Milkshakes indefinitely, or at least until either the heart valves clog up or the veins in your lungs clog up. I was an unscripted and secret scientific experiment that had run for over fifteen years. Actually it was all down to laziness and low self esteem on my part.
Fifteen years ago my beautiful, smart, sexy wife had had enough of my working arrangements and my lack of attention to her. She left and moved to the South Coast and shacked up with some artist gimp, who she explained, made pots. Apparently the sensual way he made the pots transferred to their lovemaking, Whatever.
I let her pick her stuff up, take some of the furniture and then we sold the house and split the proceeds. We divorced on the grounds of my unreasonable behavior, yeah right. I moved in over the takeaway and my fascinating experiment with junk food began.
Now several stone later, I wheezed up the stairs after work, Quarterpounder in one hand, large fries in the other, Super-size Vanilla Milkshake tucked under my arm. I had done this so many times it was no effort. Opening my inner door I stepped into my lounge and unclenched so the shake settled on the table. I put the burger and fries down pulled out my chair and ate hungrily. As I wiped the last of the mayo off my cheek, the doorbell rang. Who the fuck was that? For fucks sake it was nearly eleven pm.
"Coming!" I yelled as I walked down the stairs, a dim shape visible in the glass of the street door. Female by the look of it, but who the hell could it be? Probably some kid with a belly full of alcopops and a bursting bladder. I opened the door gingerly, peeping out.
"Ron for Gods sake open the friggin door!"
"Lisa? What the hell do you want?" I said as I opened the door fully.
"To talk to you, you daft sod!" She said, pushing past me and walking up the stairs.
I watched her sweet arse sway up the stairs and grinned. She was one hell of a girl. My sister Lisa, the family genius, thirty five years old and smart as smart is. If I was a geek, she was uber-geek, she outshone me in every way, but I think I loved her anyway, in fact I know I do.
"It's eleven o'clock, Lis, couldn't it wait til tomorrow?"
"No you stupid prat, it can't. If it could then I'da waited."
She plonked herself on my sofa, the only bit of the suite my ex left. I sat next to her.
"Want a drink, tea, coffee, fruit juice, beer?" I shrugged, sitting next to her.
"Ron, do you have any fresh milk, or tea bags, coffee, cordial or even fruit juice?"
"I have absolutely no bloody idea," I laughed, "I just thought that's what you asked your guests" I did the inverted commas.
Lisa looked at me with pure venom, her eyebrows lifted high on her forehead, lips pinched and face flushed.
"You arse, what the hell are you playing at?"
"I'm sorry, is this a social call or have you just here to have a pop at me?"
"Hah! what use would that be, you stupid, overweight, numpty!" She spun on the cushion to face me,
"You're heading for the exit big brother, and you can't even see it. For Gods sake Ron, Julie left you for a reason, you were at fault, don't blame her and stop feeling fucking sorry for yourself. Clean up, eat proper food and get some exercise!" she shouted at me. Then she started to slap me with her hands, all over, hurting, but not really meant.
"Fucks sake, give over, I don't need this shit now, leave me alone, what does it matter to you anyway?"
"Stupid, stupid, fucking bastard, what does it mean to me. You, you, you lazy stupid, irritating, shitbag are my only living relative, I don't want to be on my own." All the while she continued slapping me, as I sat back, lowering my hands.
"But, but you and Pete, you..."
"Ohhh! Pete's fucked off with some willowy titless wonder to "Go find his head" in fucking Wiltshire, Wiltshire! Hah! Arsehole. Some proto hippy weirdo- drink-your own- piss and pray to the gods of the universe commune. Which means shithead you're all I have left. And I hate you so much!"
She continued to pound at me, tears streaming down her face until at last she stopped flailing and flopped forward onto my man boobs, her arms running round my neck.
"I am so angry and tired and lonely."
"Shit! I am so sorry to hear that, I..." I was lost for words, she and Pete had been like rock solid.
I put my arms round her, not hard, just round her and let her sob. I could feel the front of my shirt getting damp and wondered if I had a clean(ish) one around for tomorrow. She sobbed and gulped in air, heaving against my chest. I patted her hair and coo'ed and sighed. At last she quietened down. Realising what she was doing she broke free and pulled a tissue from her jeans pocket.
"Oh bollocks, what the fuck do you care, you saggy arsed old fart." She eyed me and I shrank back.
"But, But of course I care.. I," I struggled to find words to express what I thought. "I love you, you're my little sister and I don't like to see you hurt." I said, wondering if it was true, did I really care?
"Really? you really care? You care about me, your little sister, who you haven't seen in two years, haven't phoned but occasionally texted and generally ignored, do you care that much?" She smiled sarcastically.
"OK, Alright, I maybe haven't given you that much attention, but in the background.. in the background, you've always been in my heart," I nodded sagely.
"Bollocks I have, if I had been you'd have phoned, talked to me, seen that I had problems, needed a bit of support. But no instead you've wallowed in your own self pity and stuck your head in the sand and buried yourself in your work."
It was wrong but the images of someone sticking their head in the sand and at the same time burying themselves in their work, made me giggle, wrong move.
"Bastard!" she spat out followed by a swinging left jab and a hay maker in from the right. My head snapped back and I felt blood in my mouth. Tears stung my eyes and my head pounded with the force of the blow.
"Bitch," I shouted and slapped her across the face instantly regretting it, as she screeched and held her hand to the red mark on her face.
"I am so sorry, Lisa, please forgive me, I never meant to hurt you, I over reacted. I am sorry honey, so very sorry." I reached out for her and she fell back into my arms, sobbing again. I am a complete wanker, I'd always been taught that you should never hit a woman and even in my state, I knew I had crossed the line.
Holding her tightly I ran my hand over her head, shushing her and kissing her. Her arms tightened round me and held me, as she sobbed uncontrollably again. Slowly she calmed down and relaxed in my arms. I held her tight. What was I doing, why had I pushed everyone away, where was my life headed, seemingly straight down the shitter at this rate. Sighing I sat back and let my grip relax.
"Oh Lis, I'm so sorry, I'm a total twat, I hated what happened and I just let it eat me up, I stayed away because you and Pete were so happy and I wanted that and I was so jealous. Julie was right, I was self centered and obsessive. I couldn't leave the work alone, I was so bound up in finding solutions and having the praise, I lost sight of what really mattered. I fucked up big time. I just eat all the time, I.."
I stalled, there was a crushing pain in my chest, I couldn't breath, tingling in my left arm. It felt like an elephant was sitting on me, I gasped, no air, can't feel...
The rest is a blur, until I woke up in a white bed with leads snaking away from me connected to a machine or machines next to it. there was something clamped to my index finger. Shit my cock ached and felt like someone had stuck a stinging nettle in it. I looked round, Lisa was in a chair next to the bed, curled up, like when she was little, her face white in the light. I must have made a noise, because she woke, her eyes wide as if she had been startled by something. She looked at me and a tired smile crossed her lips.
"You look like shit!" she said, touching my bare arm with her soft small hand.
"Where am I?" I asked, confused but knowing the answer.
"Hospital, you had a heart attack, I got an ambulance and they brought you in." She continued to rub my arm, it felt nice and I saw there was a tear in her eye waiting to fall.
"Are you OK?" I asked, desperate to know she had forgiven me for the slap I gave her.
"Ron! you're in hospital, seriously ill, hooked up to all manner of gizmos. There's a monitor on your finger and a catheter in your cock, and you want to know if I'm alright! Oh Feller you are pure genius. I do love you, I really do." she smiled and gripped my arm with her hand and I smiled.
"So, you were right, look, here I am in the departure lounge and I expect the boarding call is just around the corner," I sighed, "Do think they'll have a good movie on this flight?"
Her face crumpled and she cried again, I tried to sooth her but I was wired up and couldn't move, she sat back in the chair and found a clean tissue, I looked at her sadly. Why do I always put my large size twelve right in it every time. I felt totally helpless and hopeless. I lay back and stared at the white ceiling of my white room. Tears rolled down my cheeks, what a pathetic piece of shit I was. I must have drifted off, when I woke Lis was gone, I lay back, wondering, then drifted away again.
Apparently I slept a whole thirty hours, so it was a day later when I woke again and there was Lisa sitting in that chair, looking at me, smiling as my eyes focused on her. She sat there, all five feet six of her, nine stone (that's one hundred and twenty six delicate and beautiful pounds), small pert breasts, beautiful blue eyes and dark hair. But all I could focus on was that smile, that gorgeous, beaming beautiful smile.
"Hello sexy, you're awake then?" she said laughing.
"Hi gorgeous, been here long?" I responded and was rewarded by a flash of those deep blue bottomless pits of eyes.
"Coupla days, where you been?" she asked, kissing my forehead.
"Out for the count, I think; you OK?"
"Yeah, worried about you, but on the up."
"Good, look I know I've been a complete tosspot, but I do love you, you know that?"
"I do, and I love you too, now rest, I'm going to get a coffee and a bun, I'm starving. I just had to watch you wake up." she touched my arm and then spun away. I watched her walk, she was a total babe, and she was my sister. I smiled, some guys are born lucky, some guys aren't. I was and now I knew it.
