I was a first year college student and he was in his third year when I first met John. We met through a mutual friend and ended up hanging out quite a bit after that. We hung out with a group of friends mostly, but sometimes it was just the two of us. We liked to chill at his apartment and drink, talk, and play guitar. I didn't feel like there was any sexual tension or attraction between us, but one day he surprised me with a kiss. I still felt nothing, but from time to time after that, we'd make out if we couldn't find anything better to do.
I was home with my parents during spring break when I started telling them about the friends I had made. John's name came up (both first and last) and my dad told me that we had relatives with that same name. He wondered if we could be related. I didn't think much of it, and thought it would be impossible. I was also very naive apparently, because only a few short weeks later (and a few phone calls by my Dad to his relatives) we found out that John and I were, indeed, second cousins. Upon hearing this news, I immediately flashed back in my mind to all the makeout sessions we had. It sort of grossed me out knowing now that he was family.
I didn't wait long before telling John the news. And I tried to tell him in a way that was light, easy, and funny.
"Hey John! Turns out we're cousins! That's pretty cool! Who would have thought? I'm glad we found out before we became more than just "kissing cousins"!" I laughed and watched as his face turned from surprise to delight (with a hint of deviance).
"We don't have to stop at just "kissing cousins"." He said. "I think we should be "fucking cousins!"
I hoped he was just joking, but I knew deep down that he was not. Not only was I sort of not attracted to him, but now he was my own blood! The thought grossed me out and I let him know it did. He didn't seem to care. He approached me, grabbed me, and pulled me in close to give me a kiss. I turned my head so that he couldn't kiss me on the mouth and he ended up kissing my neck instead.
"John! I'm not joking. It grosses me out! Let me go!" I said nicely, but sternly.
He let me go. He was upset. And he tried to convince me that we weren't really so closely related that it should make any difference, and besides, no one would have to know!
I decided I needed a break from John. I also decided I'd never be in the same room with John alone again. I just didn't trust him.
Fast forward a few months and I'm hanging out with the mutual friend that John and I share (the one who introduced us). His name is Ryan. And he is very attractive! I have had a crush on him since the moment we met, but he was the kind of guy that seemed way out of my league, so I never made a move. Besides, he probably thought I was involved with John anyway since we were always hanging out together. But tonight... Tonight was different. We were alone (which was rare) and in the basement of the house he's renting with some college buddies. The basement has a ping pong table, some couches, a TV, and some other stuff, making it a cool place to chill. Ryan and I were drinking, watching movies, talking, and I remember thinking that I wanted to kiss him. I didn't, but I wanted to. And just the thought of it started making me feel turned on.
The hours passed, and so did the beer. I can't remember how many I had to drink already, but I was feeling pretty tipsy. Definitely a little drunk. Okay, maybe I was more than a little drunk. And Ryan still hadn't made a move on me. My mind was going crazy wondering if he was ever going to (why else invite me to hang out with him alone?) and I tried to build up the courage to say something, or make the first move myself. Fantasies were running through my head and I was starting to get wet between my legs.
Suddenly, we hear the basement door open and footsteps come down the stairs. It's John. Shit. I just remember thinking to myself, "shit, shit, shit". I didn't want him there.
"Hey, guys! I thought I might find you here!" says John.
"Hey, John!" says Ryan.
I said nothing at all. I sort of just glared.
"Hey, I need to talk to my girl here alone for a minute. Do you mind? Can you give us some privacy?"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Did John just call me "his girl"? And why did he want me alone? I had an idea, and it scared me. Revenge for rejecting him? I told Ryan that I didn't want him to leave. I told John that whatever he wanted to say to me, he could tell Ryan too. And this is the exact moment when I realized that something terribly wrong was about to happen. Ryan said he needed to use the restroom anyway, so he was going to leave and give us some privacy. When I finally begged him to stay, he promised he'd be right back. Ryan stood up, gave me a look as if to say "how gullible", and he patted John on the shoulder on his way out. I had been set up.
"Take 'er easy!" yelled Ryan from the top of the stairs.
I heard the door shut behind Ryan. John and I were alone. Shit. I tried to stand, but I was so wobbly and weak from all the alcohol! It wouldn't have mattered anyway because John just pushed me back down onto the couch. Drunk or not, John was much larger and stronger that I was and could very easily overpower me physically.
"Hey, calm down." Said John as he sat down next to me on the couch. "I just want to talk." His hand slides up my shirt and grabs a breast. "I want to talk about fucking you... cousin."
There was no point in trying to reason with him. I was drunk and weak... he was horny, angry, and determined. So instead of arguing with him, I screamed. I screamed and yelled, calling John's name, calling for help, and trying to get someone's (anyone's!) attention. No one came. I kicked and tried to push John off of me, but the more I struggled the more tired and weak I became. Finally, John has his full weight on top of me and I remember feeling smothered, trapped between him and the couch cushions. He kept telling me to be still and he waited there on top of me until I was.
"Calm down, cousin!" he demanded. "You're making this more difficult than it has to be!"
I stopped fighting. It was no use. I remember just giving up. I closed my eyes, I tried to keep my world from spinning, and I focused on being somewhere else as John sat back up and began to undress me.
He pulled my shirt up and over my head. He unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down. I had no shoes on, so it was easy for him to pull them right off of me completely. My panties went down with my jeans. He unhooked my bra removed that too. And there I was, naked, broken, and just ready for him to get it over with.
John left his clothes on, but unzipped his pants and lowered them just enough to expose himself to me. He reached between my legs and jammed two fingers right up into me. I was wet from fantasizing about Ryan, so he entered me easily. This didn't go unnoticed by John.
"You're so wet!" He exclaimed with delight. "See? You really do want me! You're ready for me and you love it!" He got loud and excited. "You love this! Don't forget to call me cousin when you cum, baby!"
