My Brother's Wife

Disclaimer, Everything in this story as far as I know is fictional. If this has happened to you, it is a coincidence as nobody I know has had this happen to them and told me about it.

Anonymous comments will be totally ignore, all others are welcome.

Hope you enjoy it.

My name is Andy Holt, I am 18 yrs old 5ft 10in, a bit of a fitness freak, I am the youngest of 5 brothers.

We are a family of builders, Dad Peter 65 is a bricklayer/roofer, Mike 46 the eldest is a joiner/brickie, the twins Chris and Tony are 44 both are electricians/plumbers, and George 42 is a plasterer/roofer.

I am at the bottom of the ladder, as a trainee labourer/joiner/plasterer/electrician and plumber, or as they put it the general dogs body.

Dad and Mike are in charge of the building side, Tony and Chris are in charge of electrics and plumbing. Any disputes are sorted by Dad in his usual way, do you want paying for this week or not.

My brothers are mini versions of my dad, they think they know everything, and are always right. Which has a tendency to lead to quite a few disagreements.

My Mum is Pam 48, she is Dads second wife. I take after her fairly easy going personality, so I don't get involved with the arguments, it's just not worth all the hassle. Dad always wins anyway, even if he is wrong.

My brothers mum was Janice, allegedly she had a bit of fiery temper, or so I was told. Hence its no wonder why the boys are like they are. She unfortunately died in a car crash over 20 years ago.

We all live in a small cul-de-sac of 5 detached houses, built by the family. One each for my brothers and their wives and kids. I am technically still at home with my parents, in an apartment above my dads garage. No room for a house for me, mainly because I wasn't planned, they decided they didn't want any more kids but when Dad remarried and I came along.

We try to build 4 properties a year, it makes us all a good living. It's all planned out by Mum, to complete in December each year always before Xmas, so the whole family gets 2 or 3 weeks off. We also get a couple of weeks in the summer, which is determined by the buildings completion date, generally though it falls within school holidays.

Both of the twins are on their second wives as well, they see their kids from their first marriage on weekends. They both now have what are deemed as trophy wives. Liz and Di, both blondes in their 30's, who do nothing but shop, go to the gym. They are in with the ladies that lunch crowd and look like they live on lettuce leaves, judging by their skinny model like bodies. They hardly touch the food on our monthly BBQ's.

But saying that they are both stunning and they know it. Mikes wife Becky is the opposite, she goes out to work but doesn't have to, she just wants to. If Mike gets out of order, she lays the law down in no uncertain terms, but they are happy.

George's wife Pat is the one that perplexes me, she is kind, generous, has a great personality. Maybe a bit of a plain Jane but that could just be her dress sense. Bt she married to the worst one of my brothers. He is a selfish prat, he would rather be out with his mates, than at home with her and the kids.

For the last two summers he has gone away on golfing holidays with his pals. While Pat his wife, has to make do with the motorhome at whatever resort he drives them to. She doesn't complain though, well not that I know of anyway.

I think she only stays with him because of the kids. I know for certain he only married her because Dad told him he had to. He had got her pregnant, end of story according to my dad, you marry the girl.

It might sound like I am painting a picture of a crap life, but I have to be honest and say I am happy with it, at present anyway. I grew up with my brothers, sons and daughters.

Ok I didn't see a lot of the twins boys, as they are with their mums most of the time but we did keep in touch. They are definitely not coming into the family business though. Then there are the girls, all spoilt rotten. The daddies little darlings who want for nothing. Ages vary from 24 to 15 of various shapes and sizes, not fat nor skinny, just generally good to look at.

The winter holidays we had away in the Canary Islands with them, were great fun whilst growing up. Although now they all have their own lives to lead and their own issues.

Uncle Andy has learnt to stay out of their growing up fights with their respective Dads. Although it was fun winding their dads up for a time, but in the end it was not worth the agro at work.

BBQ's at Dads were a regular occurrence once or twice a month weather permitting and how I got into the situation I am in now.

It always seemed to fall on my shoulders to do the cooking. The rota of taking turns just stopped at me. My brothers and dad would start doing it, then ask me to watch it while they got a beer, they would never come back. I would complain but lost out to the wives. They would get involved saying they preferred me doing the cooking, it tasted better, I didn't over cook the meat, or kill it with seasoning. End of the argument according to Dad. So from the age of 15 to now aged nearly 19, I have been the cook and have got very good at it.

It was the last BBQ before our summer break, when George announced he had a bit of a problem. His golf holiday flights had been changed. He was looking for a volunteer, to take his mobile home to the coast for Pat and the girls. He would as normal have driven down with Pats car in tow, and Pat would have driven his car, so he could get back. Now because of the flight change, there just wasn't enough time to do it, it would be too close for comfort. Now all this was happening in the kitchen, while I was busy getting the BBQ going.

Lucky me, you would think, but no one was interested in doing it. So my ever helpful Dad volunteered me. Apparently it was the only option, Pat could drive the mobile home and I could drive her car and come back by train, problem solved.

Pat was ok driving the motorhome, but when she had driven it before towing her car, it was a nightmare. She was ok on the motorway, but on country roads she was hopeless. According to her she was lucky she hadn't killed someone. She would rather stay at home, but George was having none of that.

The first I heard of being volunteered, was when Pat kissed me on my cheek.

Which was a bit of a shock, shows of affection in our family just wasn't a thing.

[Me]"Nice as that was, it won't get you the biggest bit of salmon, that's mine but nice try."

{Pat]"No, you plonker it's for rescuing our holiday."

[Me]"Pat, what do you mean."

{Pat]"Driving to Alstop Cove."

[Me]"Sorry, what are you on about."

{Pat]"George said you was fine with it."

{Me]"You have lost me."

[Pat]"Has George asked you to drive my car to Alstop Cove, when me and the girls go down for the week, when he is away golfing."

[Me}"No."

{Pat]"He said you would do it."

[Me]"Well as you have now asked me, yes I will do it, is it just for the week?"

[Pat]"Yes, but he is going to pay for your train fare back."

[Me]"I would prefer to stay, if that's ok with you and the girls."

[Pat]"Yes there is plenty of room, are you sure."

[Me]"Yes, I have nothing planned, so it suits me. But don't say anything to George. I am going to tell him no way when he asks me to do it."

[Pat]"It will set him off, you know what he is like."

{Me]"Yes, I do, but I just want to see the look on his face, when I tell the selfish git he should cancel his golf."

[Pat]"Please don't wind him up too much Andy."

[Me]"Ok I promise."

We had all eaten and were sat in the kitchen when he finally broached the subject.

[George]"Andy, can you do Pat a favour and drive her car to the holiday place, when I'm away at golf. My flights have been changed so I can't possibly do it, everyone else is busy except you."

[Me]"Nice try bro, nope. You better cancel your golf and go with them."

You could have cut the silence with a knife, Pat was looking at the floor. Mum had her mouth open as if to say something. The twins were looking each other, their wives as usual just looked blank and Dad looked fit to burst. George stood up and looked at everyone but me for help I presumed, nobody said a word.

[Me]"Hang on though, maybe a week on the coast, would do me some good. What's the pay like. 20 or 30 quid a day would cover my beer, say another 30 for food. £60 a day how's 400 quid suit you."

{George]"I'm not paying for your bloody holiday, you cheeky twat."

[Me]"Fine, no deal then, anyone fancy a coffee."

I got up to put the kettle on.

[Tony]"Andy come on, only £30 for beer that's not enough. I think £500 is cheap don't you lads."

{Chris/Mike]"Yes, come on George don't be stingy."

[George]"Look the return train fare is only costing me £85.00. You get late train Saturday, then the early train the following Saturday. You will be home for 8 or 9, say 10 quid each way for taxis, a bit for grub so £150."

[Me]"I would have to pay for beer there, so 275.00 quid and I will do it. But only if Pat agrees that I don't have to use that drop down bed thing."

{George]"£200 you can have whatever bed you want."

[Me]"Is that ok with you Pat,"

{Pat]"Fine by me, you can have the back, but the girls wont be happy sleeping up there, as certainly I aren't going up there."

[George]"Deal then, cheers Andy."

[Me]"On the bed yes, but £250 or forget it."

[George]"£220."

[Me]"Last chance £250."

[George]"Thieving git, ok £250."

[Me]"Cash up front before you go, none of this I'm a bit skint rubbish."

{Dad]"Don't worry Andy, I will take it out of this month's pay for you."

George knew better than to argue, so he kept quiet.

[Me]"Now where was we, who said yes to coffee."

Turned out to be all of us.

[Pat]"Don't you have to clean the BBQ?"

{Me]"Yes, I will take my coffee out there, and drink it while cleaning down."

[Pat]"You go and I will bring it out."

[Me]"You sure."

[Pat]"Yes go on, I might even help."

{Me]"Cheers."

I was laughing all the way to the BBQ, I had squeezed £250 out of George,

I would have done it for bugger all. It wasn't long before Pat came out with two coffees.

[Pat]"Honest Andy, that was so funny, his face when you said cancel the golf, I nearly pissed myself."

[Me]"I couldn't believe the others backed me up. I thought they would be on his side, and I would end up doing it for nothing, which I would have anyway."

[Pat]"Well now you have some cash and a holiday. We will try to keep out of your hair, I hope to persuade the girls to go shopping in town everyday like last year."

[Me]"I doubt they will bother with me, they will be on the hunt for the local lads."

[Pat]"Nice try Andy, they will be sticking with you like glue."

[Me]"Easily solved then, we will all go shopping, I presume it's still not cool to be out with mum."

[Pat]"Worth a try I suppose, but don't get your hopes up."

[Me]"By the way, I'm fine with the drop down bed up front."

[Pat]"Well I came out to help, what do you want me to do."

[Me]"Another coffee or a beer will do, the fire is still too hot to bin it. All I have to do is clean down the racks for now."

{Pat]"Ok, I will bring you a beer."

The rest of the night went off without any more surprises, apart from how upbeat George seemed to be, I expected him to be having one of his sulks, but no, if anything he seemed happier than usual.

The next three months flew by, the house we had been working on was finished on time. The owners had moved in and we had set about clearing the site for the last one, we had to build there. We didn't have our usual celebration because we were all off on our hols. Mum and Dad to the Canary Islands again, Mike and Becky were going to Madeira, The twins with their wives and kids were off to the Yorkshire Dales.

That left me, Pat, Lacey and Stacy to drive down to Devon about 4 hours in the motorhome, George reckoned.

George had convinced me to drop him off at the airport, which was 40 miles in the wrong direction. I would be able to catch Pat up, as I was in my car not her little Fiat..

He nearly had a duck fit when his insurance company wanted an extra £50 quid, for me to drive her car. The cheeky git even tried to get me to pay it, out of the cash I had conned him out of as he put it. The compromise was, I would use my car, and let her drive it as a named driver, on my policy it cost me nothing, a win win for him.

That plan didn't work out as expected though, bad traffic on the way to the airport, So the hour I had finally persuaded George we needed, just to be on the safe side was lost on the motorway. We arrived the 3 hours before the flight he wanted in the first place. Then to add insult to injury I got stuck for nearly 2 hours on the way back. to roughly where we first started. I thought I better bring Pat up to date on my travels, so I rang her.

[Me]"Hi Pat it's Andy, have you got far because I'm stuck in traffic again, I'm about 3 hours behind schedule."

[Pat]"Well in about 5 minutes I will be there."

{Me]"Wow, you made good time."

[Pat]"Yes, the Motorways are really quiet."

[Me]"Not surprised they are all on the M1 with me."

[Pat]"So when do you think you will get here."

{Me]"Around 3 hours if we ever get any speed up, but at 30 mph it will be 6 or 7."

[Pat]"Sorry Andy, got to go we are at the site will text you the plot number, bye."

[Me]"Bye."

4 hours later I was pulling into the cove looking for plot 16B, According to the little map on the site plan at the entrance, its was opposite the pool area, and to the right of the camp entertainment centre. With the one way system it was all right turns, and look for the Blue flags, after driving straight through the red zone, turn right into the yellow zone, drive straight through it to the blue zone, then, second right and it was 3rd plot on the right. The bloody place was enormous, there must be over 200 log cabins in the red zone alone, then the yellow zone was all static caravans, the blue zone was alongside the outdoor swimming pool, a pub, a restaurant, play area and the Entertainment hub, I had driven past maybe 60 or so motorhomes, before I knew it I had missed my turning. I was now in the green zone, a field full of tents. A quick u-turn was out of the question, so it was back to the gates and try again. When I got back to the blue zone, Pat was stood at the side of the road, waving at me to stop, she opened the door.

{Pat}"You drove past us, we are sat outside the pub, you even looked straight at us and carried on. Go and park your car up next to the van, 3rd plot down, I will get you a beer."

{Me]"Can you get 2 I'm parched, do they do sarnies?"

{Pat]"Got that covered already, pints or bottles."

[Me]"Pints, no bottles no 2 pints of lager, cheers Pat."

The van was all set up in its own bit of hard standing, with a 5ft hedge at either side and a 6ft fence at the back. I parked up and headed back to the pub.

{Me]"Hi, girls nice spot, the place is massive."

[Lacey]"Yes, that's your sandwich, we had ours at the van. Mum said you will take us to the disco later, it starts about 9,, after the kids have had theirs."

[Stacey]"They do karaoke till 10, mum will want to sing can you stop her, its embarrassing."

{Me]"Whoa, slow down girls let me get sat down."

Thankfully, Pat turned up with my beer and some crisps.

[Pat]"There you go, if you are up to it, there's a disco and karaoke in the hub in a couple of hours. The girls want to go, I will take them but you don't have to go."

[Me]"As long as you don't sing, that's right isn't it Stacey."

[Pat]"Stacey, my singing is no worse than any else who gets up."

[Stacey]"That is not true mum, come on Lacey back me up."

[Lacey]"Mum, you are definitely not Beyonce."

[Pat]"Ok, but if don't behave I am singing, now clear to the hub and let me talk to Andy, No arguments or I sing, we will be there in a bit."

They got up and left me and Pat to chat.

{Pat]"The girls are going to be sleeping in the double bed at the back. Now we can sleep on the two singles in the front, one at either side or one of us in the top over the drivers cab."

[Me]"Oh, I presumed you would be in the back and the girls up front and me in the top thing."

[Pat]"They asked for it that way, I couldn't see a problem so I agreed. But if you don't want to sleep with me, we can change it."

[Me}"You never said anything about me sleeping with you, but don't you think the kids will tell George."

[Pat]"You know what I mean, I doubt that George would care, the kids would be jealous they have a crush on you."

[Me]"Give over."

[Pat]"Seriously, they were trying to get out of coming, before you said you would stay for the week. They had been nagging me for weeks, can I stay with friends, we are old enough to stay at home by ourselves. You don't have to go just tell dad we went."

[Me]"Well I better watch out then, or better still where ever you go, I am coming to."

[Pat]"I hope you can dance, because they will drag you up on the floor."

[Me]"If I go, you are as well."

[Pat]"Suits me, but they will not be happy."

[Me]"Maybe we should do a duet."

[Pat]"Can you sing?"

[Me]"It has been known to happen."

[Pat]"Yes, but can you sing. I say I can sing but George and the girls say different."

[Me]"Well if they have a song that I know well, I will do it tonight. Then you can judge."

[Pat]"Well you can tell the girls, I am keeping out of it, we have not spoken about it. Then if you are crap, they can't blame me."

[Me}"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence."

We went back to the van so we could get changed. I had a quick shower in the shoer block. Pat was dressed when I got back, sat on one of the deck chairs. She was dressed slightly different from how she turned up at ours with Mike. A little bit more modern, tight leggings and a Superdry top.

[Me]"You look nice."

[Pat]"Thanks, I wasn't sure when I tried them on, but Lacey said it was about time I updated my non style, as she put it."

[Me]"Well take it from me they suit you, now I just need to get dressed, two ticks ok."

[Pat]"Yes ok."

Pat locked up and we walked down to the entertainment centre.

They were waiting outside with a group of other girls and an older lady, who had a camp uniform on.

[Stacey]"It's still the under twelves disco, so we can't go in yet."

[Pat]"I bet me and Andy can."

[Camp rep]"Yes no problem, they will be out in 5 minutes, then they can join you."

We went in, I got some drinks, Pat got one of the booths on the opposite side to the bar. The girls came strutting in and got to the booth at the same time as me.

The camp rep had taken over the mic, she was going through tonight's entertainment and house rules.

[Rep]"No drinks or food are allowed on the dance floor. No smoking is allowed anywhere on the premises.

First was the children's karaoke, then the disco and finally back to karaoke for all comers.

There are song books available on the end of the bar, fill in the song slips and hand them to me.

Tonight's music will stop at 11.30, last orders at the bar is 11.15 and the building will close at midnight."

The girls sat with us for 5 minutes at the most, then they went off to be with the small group of girls on the dance floor, all around the same age. By 10 o'clock it was maybe half full, about 80% females, all the lads looked about 12 or at the most 13. Pat was delighted, the girls weren't. They kept trying to get me on the dance floor, but there was no way that was happening, eventually they just gave up.

Some of the group they were with tried their hands at singing, they would never be on BGT or X factor. A couple of mums got up who were not to bad but then the dad's started having a go. I thought the kids were bad enough, but wow a classic case of booze in and brains out.