WARNING: Incest
Shortest story I ever wrote, I think, and it's been sitting in drafts for years. It is a free-use, incest theme. For those who dig that kinda thing, hope you enjoy this little gag. For those who appreciate romance, I'll apologize up front. You won't find much of it in here. Cheers to all!
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"What the hell is wrong with me?" Chuck cried, for the thousandth time. "I went on three dates with that last girl and still didn't make it past first base. Now she ghosted me."
I rolled my eyes. I had been sympathetic, but was getting tired of hearing it. We were both just about to graduate college. My brother Chuck hasn't gotten laid since our freshmen year.
"What the hell are you doing wrong?" I scoffed. "I mean, haven't you been through a year of therapy to fix this?"
"Yes! To see if there's something wrong with me! But I get dates, that isn't the problem. I just can't get past a second or third one, before they dump me. Like I said, it's been three years of barely a boob grope. It's ridiculous!"
I was laughing inside, but kept serious, "Keep at it, bro. Eventually, one will click."
"I just need to get laid." Those were words I heard from him at least once a day. "I mean it. I really do." Chuck stopped, pausing at me, as if I had a solution.
"What?" I pulled my tablet down. "You expect me to hook you up with one of my friends? No chance, brother."
"No, actually." He paused a moment, head down. "Candice, you aren't seeing anyone and you happen to be the most pragmatic, sensible person I know."
"Uh, what's with the flattery?"
"I just need to feel a pussy."
"Wait, what!?" I lurched back.
"I know if I get it again, it'll bring my confidence back... or whatever it is I seem to be missing with these women I date."