I got to see Aric a few other times that summer, but it didn't seem like enough to me. He was also working a lot, so most of those times he just came over to Mom and Dad's for dinner. I hoped our parents couldn't tell there was something different between us. I tried not to stare at him any differently than before, but when you feel that way about someone, it seems as though every glance between you telegraphs to the world what's going on inside. Anyways, this was it. Mom and Dad were going to drive me out to school tomorrow to move in at school.
He came over early in the morning. Dad's always really proactive about preparing for winter, so he wanted some help splitting wood. We had just felled a few trees that looked like a bad storm would topple them over the house, so there was plenty to do. It was warm, though. Not too warm to work, but warm enough.
I couldn't help it; I had a boner the entire time. Watching Aric's arms ripple as he picked up a log, seeing his nipples poking though his t-shirt, I was in heaven. Except that Dad was helping us. He tried to make small talk between slicing up the tree with the chainsaw, reminders about how to be nice to people at school and all that. I just wished he'd find some reason to go out and leave Aric and I to work alone.
Somehow I managed to keep working through my distraction, and when Dad called break I was definitely tired. Aric and I went up to get iced tea and sit on the deck. Mom was already prepping potato salad for dinner. Aric was quiet for a long time after we sat down.
"Is work going well?" I asked.
He looked at me as if surprised I was speaking to him. "Yeah, yeah it's fine. It's not exactly the most thrilling thing, but it's not bad."
I gazed out at the trees. The leaves were such a bright green in August. "I hope school is fun."
"I'm sure it will be. You'll meet plenty of new people there." He grinned at me and winked.
I wasn't sure how much I wanted to meet new people. My eyes drifted to the little curls of hair at the collar of his shirt. How was I supposed to say goodbye to him?
"I suppose so. Do you think you'll ever go back?"
He shook his head. "Nah, life's working for me as it is. I make enough to have what I want. Plus it's really nice to go home at night and not have to think about it anymore. I couldn't take homework again."
"Do you think they'll leave at all?" I blurted. I immediately felt embarrassed, but I had to communicate with him about it.
"Huh?"
"Mom and Dad..."
"Oh. I don't see why they would." He didn't seem nearly as bothered by this as I was.
Oddly, a thought came into my mind. I had seen a movie once where they claimed women were at their best advantage when walking. I got up and started pacing, hoping to awaken some sort of desire in him. I saw his hand drift to his crotch, and I could have sworn he rubbed it for a second.
Mom came out on the deck, and I stopped. I felt so awkward and just froze. She sat down with her glass of tea and her sunglasses, adjusting the chair so that her feet were warmed by the sun but her head was still under the umbrella. Aric didn't seem fazed at all.
"God it's beautiful out," she said. She turned to Aric. "You know, I was at the supermarket yesterday, and guess who I ran into! Nate! I had no idea he was back in town. Did you?"
Aric looked up. "Yeah, he actually contacted me not too long ago. I was surprised he came back here."
Hmm, Nate. I remembered he was always hanging out with Aric when they were in high school. I hadn't thought about it much back then, but now that I thought back it always seemed they were very close. But I was just imagining things. Projecting, that's what they call it.
"You two hung out a lot. There were some times I thought you were inseparable," Mom continued. "It's too bad he didn't keep in touch while he was away at school."
"Well, you know, it's a lot of work. I hope it doesn't get to be too much for Tom there." He chuckled, as if he thought it was a great joke.
"Everybody's got a degree these days," I replied. "It can't be that hard."
I just couldn't get the thought out of my head. I mean, now I knew Aric was gay. And Nate? Well, he was always the best dressed in high school, meticulous attention to his hair, and I think I'd even seen him wear makeup before. It didn't matter if I was just making everything up. I felt jealousy hit me.
"I'm sure you'll do fine, honey. You're such a smart kid." She took a sip of her tea. "Well, I hope Nate won't be a stranger now that he's back. It would be wonderful to see him again."
Aric looked like he was lost in thought. "Yeah, it would," he mumbled.
Now I was just being stupid with my thoughts. I excused myself and went up to take a shower. It didn't look like Dad was going to enslave us much more today, and it would be a good way to clear my head.
I just let the hot water flow down over my head. Thoughts of Nate and Aric soon turned into a dream that Aric would walk in on me and join me here. I imagined the chance to hold him in the shower, his sweet lips fixed on my nipple. I'd run my hands over his body, feel his solid arms, clasp his round ass in my hands. I thought it was incredibly hot that he was shorter than me. He was my older brother, yet I'd hold him like he was younger, running my fingers through his hair.
My cock was getting stiff. I started massaging it and imagined that it was his hand. All the while he'd tell me that he loved me. In my dreams I wasn't going away to school, I was going to live with him, where we'd be able to do this every day. God, you think crazy things when you're horny, don't you? I started to get close when I remembered that he wasn't actually with me. I stopped and lathered up while trying to think of anything else. When I came today, I wanted it to be because of him.
I thought about it all through dinner too. Mom made stuffed chicken and green beans. I wish I could have been more sociable with her and Dad. I felt like I was being ungrateful. Aric hardly said anything during dinner either.
"Are you okay, honey?" Mom asked.
I looked up from my food. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"It's okay to be nervous about going away to school, but you're going to be fine. It's going to be just like that speaker at orientation said. You'll make friends and you'll get used to the place, and soon enough you'll forget this was ever your home."
I frowned. "But I like it here."
She grinned. "You're just saying that."
"Son, you know we'll be here if you need," Dad said. "It only takes us three hours to drive out there, so you just call if you have to. Any one of us can come pick you up if you need a break for a weekend."
I looked at Aric. He was looking down at his food, stabbing at his beans as if they were roadkill he wasn't so sure about eating. I wondered if he was thinking about me. Ugh, I just didn't want things to get so goddamn emotional. Mom and Dad were talking as if it were the end of the world and they were trying to comfort me. I didn't feel that comforted.
"I wonder what your roommate is going to be like," Mom said. "I remember I didn't get along too well with my first roommate. But I was a shy girl then and I didn't do too well making new friends. You're such a friendly boy that I'm sure you'll do fine."
"Just be sure to keep up with your work as you're doing all this socializing," Dad chimed in. "That is what you're paying for. An education."
Desert was cheesecake, with raspberry sauce on top. I loved it when Mom pulled out all the stops for dinner, and it kind of made me regret deciding to go so far away. I could have just picked the local community college and stayed home.
Aric took a very thin slice, and even then he only seemed to pick at it. It seemed like it took him ages to finish it. When he finally did, he sat back and announced: "I think I should go home now."
My heart dropped into my shoes.
"No, come on, Aric," said Mom. "It's your brother's last night here. You can't just up and leave this early. It's only eight-thirty."