I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock. Turning it off, the thoughts of what transpired last night flooded through my head. I headed to the bathroom like usually, and got ready for school. Walking into the Kitchen; I saw mom in her work attire. She was sitting at the table drinking coffee, while reading the daily newspaper. "Hi, Mom." I said greeting her as I walked to the counter to pour myself a cup of my own, after making my cup I sat across from her. "Hi, Honey" she replied in a slightly fatigued voice. Looking at her I noticed she cut her hair. It was no longer curly, and she had straightened it out, her hair only reached down to her jawline. It definitely brought out her face, and the soft blush on her cheeks. Although to be perfectly honest, I still preferred her long curly hair. Noticing my gaze, she looked up at me.
"I'd appreciate if you didn't star at me like that," she said flatly.
"Sorry, it's just that you rarely ever cut your hair short like that. It's different, anyways are you alright? You sound tired."
"To be truthful, I am a bit tired and as for your first statement; I felt it was time for a change," she looked at me with a depressed smile.
"Well it looks good. I feel it really brings out the blush on your cheeks."
Mom didn't reply to my compliment, she simply kept reading the newspaper. Normally mom would find something interesting in the paper and talk to me about it.
She was acting really distant, and callous. Mom was never unapproachable like this before. Even when she got mad at me, we could talk. But at the moment it felt like she was trying to close herself off. Not knowing how to ease my way into what happened last night I decided to just bring it up.
"I'm sorry if I did anything to offend or hurt you last night, Mom. I don't want what happened last night, to have a negative impact on our relationship. I was thinking, maybe we could talk later about what happened yesterday." Mom looked at me solemnly. Sighing, she put the newspaper down.
"Locke, I'm going to stay out a little late after work tonight. Me and a couple of friends are going to hang out at the bar." She took a brief pause before continuing. "So you don't have to wait up for me."
"I assume only for drinks?"
"It's none of your business what were hanging out for," she snapped.
"Mom, listen, please don't do this I begged. We need to talk about what happened. Don't try to run away" I pleaded. "Don't treat me like a stranger."
The room fell silent again. She stared at me, with what I could assume was frustration, and resentment. I never felt so broken before; it's as if she didn't trust me anymore. After taking a deep breath, mom looked at me sympathetically.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't of snapped at you like that. This isn't your fault," she said meekly.
I was hurt, she was avoiding me, and any attempts to find out how she felt, would just cause her to pull further away.
"This is what you're gonna do, huh?" I said holding back my tears.
She didn't reply, she just gazed at the floor. The pint up sadness I was holding in started to turn into frustration, and anger.
"You know, Mom, I just wanted to help comfort you. I never planned for it to turn out like this. If only I hadn't been born, you would of been a lot happier, right? I mean I am the reason why Dad's dead. I can only imagine the pain that you go through when you see me everyday. Despite that you were always loving, so caring, so.. beautiful. That night when I overheard you talking with Grandma. I made a promise to myself to try and do whatever I could to help relieve your stress. I became more independent and responsible, so you didn't have to worry as much about me anymore, not to mention I wanted to help you financially," I took a deep breath then continued. "Yesterday was probably the most happiest day of my life. I mean putting that reunion back together for my birthday was amazing, and that night when you kissed me - that really meant a lot to me. You don't realize how much you mean to me."
Mom looked me in the eyes for the first time this morning. Her body was trembling as if trying to hold her emotions inside.
"I-Is that how you really feel, Locke?"
"I love you more than anyone or anything else in this world, Mom."
"I'm so sorry," she said shaking her head from side to side. "But I can't allow myself to reciprocate your feelings."
I sighed running my fingers through my hair. Gazing at the clock I noticed it was almost time to leave. "I have to go, do what you want." As I turned around and left the table I heard faint sobs as mom began crying.
The trip to school was horrible. I was already mentally exhausted from this morning, and I didn't exactly sleep well yesterday either. I couldn't help but dread on what had happened this morning.
***
At noon, I headed outside to eat lunch on campus. Along the way I met my friends Ed and Rick. Ed is 5'8, he has blonde hair, and green eyes, he isn't toned as he doesn't work out often. He's your typical egotistical, asshole that chases after any "cute" girl, in a skirt or pair of jeans. He also a self-proclaimed "Chick Magnet", even though he does all the chasing. Despite his shortcoming, he's a nice guy who always has your back, he helps out in the few things he can actually do correctly, and has a tendency to be honest.
And then there's Rick, who's 5'9, he's pretty much Prince Charming. His jet black hair, along with his icy blue eyes gives him a calm, cool demeanor. His smooth voice along with his dashing personality easily attracts the girls. He's very likable, and open minded; the only bad thing is that he's sort of a 'Middle Man'
"Yo, what's up dick wad. Sorry we couldn't make it to your birthday. Here I got ya something," he said smirking as he threw me a pack of condoms. "Not like your really gonna be using them though, huh?!" he joked.
Sighing, I threw them back at him.
"Aww, come on, Ed, do you have to be a dick all the time" Rick said with disapproval. "You look down buddy, what wrong?"
"Let's just find somewhere to sit first. It's a long story." We sat on a bench outside on campus. Rick and Ed grabbed sandwiches from their book bags, and began eating, I didn't buy any lunch as I really didn't have much of an appetite.
"What, you didn't bring anything to eat?" asked Rick.
"Nope, I'm not really hungry."
"Sooooo, are you gonna act like a pussy the whole lunch break, or are you gonna tell us what's ramming you up your ass?" Ed said.
"No pressure, Locke. But it's good to talk about things with friends, ya know?" Rick agreed.
"I guess, fine I'll tell you guys. So there's this girl."
"Holy shit, my man is finally scoring with a chick?!" Ed interrupted. "Dude what does she look like, does she go to this school, is she into gang bangs?!"
"Ignore him," Rick said "Anyways, what happened looks like it didn't go to well."
I had to be very cautious with the amount of details I gave them. Ed wasn't too good at connecting the dots; but Rick was always quite perceptive.
"Her name is Claire, no, she doesn't go to school she's a administrative secretary. Honestly, she the light of my life, everything from her dark auburn hair to her sparkling blue eyes; not to mention her soft creamy white feet. She's been there for me a lot. She's helped me through some problems that I've had in the past."
"Sounds like a special girl," Rick added.
I nodded, "Yeah, yeah she is. But we aren't going out, we're just friends."
"Woah woah woah, what?! No, Locke, you don't befriend chicks bro! You just slam and scram, come on, I told you this before. There's no need for the extra emotional baggage!" Ed said trying to scold me.
"See Ed, this is why you don't get anyone but bimbos and whores. Come on man I know Cindy broke your heart, but you need to get over her it's been three years dude. Open yourself up to connect with a person, if you don't you'll just end up sad and lonely in the end man." Rick chided.
"Don't give me that philosophical bull shit, Cunt Muncher. She was a tramp; nothing but a whore." Ed retorted, taking a huge bite of his sandwich.
"Um, yeah maybe we can talk more about this later." I said
"Oh no, sorry man, continue please." Rick urged.
"Well, you see I kinda of told her how I felt about her, and she told me she couldn't return my feelings. I just wanted to comfort her. I thought I could keep my feelings for her locked away, but I guess in the end I screwed up. "Sh-She.." I was starting to get emotional, covering my face with my hands I continued. "She implied that she's gonna fuck some random guy, at some bar tonight."
Rick and Ed didn't try to console me as I sobbed. Eventually I calmed down. "Sorry Guys that was pretty pathetic, I know."
"No, it's not; nothing hurts more then getting your heart broken," Rick said.
"We're gonna get you laid. Let's go out tonight and party," Ed declared.
"Normally I would disagree with Ed. But that doesn't sound like a half-bad idea actually," said Rick nodding his head in approval.
"Listen, Locke, you should consider what Ed's saying. I know you aren't too big on dating in general. But you might just find a girl that just as compatible for you as Claire was."
I didn't want to even entertain the thought of falling for someone other than mom, but I wasn't up for being harassed by Ed, so I agreed.
"Fine, but not today. I'm just not up to it. Maybe this weekend?"
"We'll be holding you to it, Pussy-willow," Ed said pointing his finger at me.
"Yeah, we'll have lots of fun. Keep us posted on what happens with Claire though, alright?" Rick added
I simply nodded. The rest of the break went okay. I was able to take my mind off mom, hearing about Ed's ridiculous sexual escapades. My mood had drastically improved after lunch, making the rest of the school day tolerable. The fellas convinced me to go with them to a gaming arcade after school. I agreed, since it wasn't like there was any reason to really rush home anyways.
***
When I got home, I saw mom sitting on the couch in the living room. She was wearing a seductive red and black nightie, that had frills on the ends. Noticing my presence she smiled, before running up to me, pressing her lips against mine. She leaned on me, pushing me up against the wall, as she wrapped her arms around my hips. It was evident she had been drinking; her breath smelled of alcohol, and her lips tasted of margarita.
Her lips were so silk smooth. I timidly kissed back before regaining my sense. Gently pushing her away I questioned her.
"Wh-what are you doing here?"
"I couldn't do it," She laughed "I've been thinking about what you said all day, honey. I tried so hard", she giggled. After composing her self she continued. "I actually met this guy at the bar, he was kind and sincere. One thing led to another and I ended up at his place. We ended up necking, but I just kept thinking of you. Sooo, I bailed. Honestly it was pretty funny, he was soooo horny, you wouldn't believe it. He begged me to at least jerk him off. Buttt noppee I told him that I couldn't, because I was thinking of someone else."
Mom grabbed one of my hands and pressed it against her chest; she wasn't wearing a bra, her heartbeat was quick, along with the fact that her breathing was a bit heavier than normal. "Soooo, I thought about what a total, and complete bitch I was this morning. Ignoring you, and hardly considering your feelings. I thought to myself what would be the best way to apologize to my dashing, handsome son~ After drinking a bit the answer became clear as day. I would fuck him." mom said putting emphasis on the word "Fuck". "I mean that is what all guys want, right?" she asked winking seductively.
I was appalled, mom was past just "drunk"; she was fucking hammered. Pulling my hand away I tried to rationalize with her. "Mom, I can't do this, it's not right. Not whi-" cutting me off she brought her lips to mine again, her tongue darting into my mouth. Her tongue trailing from the side of my cheek to the roof of my mouth.
After inspecting the inside of my oral cavity, she began sucking on my tongue. She moved her hand down to my pants tracing the length of my dick up and down through my jeans with her fingertips.
My cock started to harden, the stimulation was amazing, my sanity was starting to fade. She removed her lips and tongue from mine, leaving a glistening stream of saliva that fell down her chin. My breathing was labored as well now. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest.
"Oh my. You've grown quite a bit haven't you?" she cooed, giving me a seductive smile. Mom pressed her palm against the head of my throbbing hard cock. " It must hurt being concealed in these tight jeans. Let Mommy fix that." The stimulation stopped as she began unzipping my jeans. Using this last opportunity to stop myself from giving in to my primal urges, I grabbed her wrists.
"We're not doing this."
