Mother's Love Is Truly Pure

I knew he was always looking at me. I could feel it. The feeling I got wasn't creepy. It didn't seem like a problem. I just wanted to know why couldn't my Son, my little boy that I raised from infancy, could not stop looking at me.

I have always taken good care of myself and now at 45, I actually feel better than I ever have before. There are a couple things that I would obviously like to reverse. At 5'6", I am still the same weight I was in college, 130 pounds. My reddish-brown hair lightly touches my shoulders, because I love to be outside and long hair just makes me too hot. I am still in love with my bright green eyes. My stomach and legs may have never been as toned as they are now. It's my breasts that I'm not crazy about.

I used to be in love with them, but age is taking a toll. I have a lot to be thankful for, but they just aren't what I want them to be. When I was younger my large DD breasts sat perfectly on my chest. I had the best cleavage of any girl I knew. Now, I buy the most expensive bras trying to achieve the same results. When I take my bra off, the force from them falling nearly pulls me down. They don't rest on the ground, but they definitely hang lower than they used to. I can say that I am still doing a lot better than many of my friends that are as busty as me. Most of them have nipples pointing at the floor. My still point proudly forward. I know, it's trivial considering how fortunate I am in every other category. I just miss the attention I used to get.

I've been single now for 13 years and I occasionally date. I haven't found too many guys very interesting. They all seem to just think I want to be complimented into a long-term relationship or marriage. I am definitely not looking for that kind of commitment. I just want to have fun without being too tied down to anybody.

I think I am extremely fortunate for my son to still be living with me. He's 21 now and about to finish college, but he hangs out with me during the days on the weekends. We always have a blast doing all sorts of different things. Normally, we find things to do outdoors like hiking or horseback riding. Living in Colorado makes finding those things very easy to do.

Recently we took a four-wheeling trip in the backcountry and toured lots of old gold mines. It was just Justin (my Son), the tour guide and me. We got to go into a lot of places people don't get an opportunity to normally. I think this is the weekend that I made the mistake that changed how he looks at me.

Previously I felt like I should be as modest as possible when I am with Justin. I didn't want to embarrass him or make him feel uncomfortable. I would act fairly responsible and lady like. I would also wear clothes that wouldn't attract too much male attention. The reason I did things different this weekend was because he was making me feel so...normal.

I hadn't felt like a regular person in years. I hadn't giggled uncontrollably or even really goofed off. Sure I made offhanded comments when I was with my girlfriends, but normally I was "Momma" or the Kathy, a programmer.

Over the past year Justin had been changing that. He made sure we stayed busy during our adventures out and he never let me be boring. He would always make joke after joke to keep me laughing. It felt great. I felt like was important and special to somebody other than my dogs.

The inherent problem with all of this was that my Son was the man making me feel this way. I just figured it was the next normal stage of our Mother/Son relationship, so I let my hair down, so to speak.

On the four-wheeling weekend I only packed clothes that I thought were cute, but practical for riding an ATV. My bags consisted of my short jean shorts and spaghetti strap tank tops. I had to pack a sweat top for the cool mornings, but the days were hot and we had to pack light.

I underestimated how sexy my attire must have been for two grown men taking a woman into the mountains of Colorado. The tour guide was constantly looking at me and giving me that creepy wink some guys do. My Son was a different story.

He would be looking at me, and I know he was because I could feel it. I would turn quickly to catch him and he would just give me a smile. Nothing crazy. He would just flash his most handsome smile to me. The same smile he uses in photos. That smile has made him the most photogenic person I know.

Girls are always swooning to him and I don't blame them. I made a great looking man with an even better personality. That personality landed in me quite a strange place, but I chose to ignore it all. I mean honestly, there's no way both of these young men could want an older woman like me.

No matter how stange those random scenarios were, the weekend was an absolute blast. I had so much fun and, like normal, laughed until my sides hurt. Justin had made me whole again.

Almost two months later and he is still giving me those smiles. It may be that I have chosen to wear the cute clothes I like and all men appreciate big boobs and cleavage. I am pretty sure I am reading way too much into this. His attitude isn't any different though, so it can't be anything weird for him. I still feel as comfortable as I did before. The only difference is that I get a lot more handsome smiles.

Waking up this early was never easy. Its 5 a.m. and my alarm is blaring in my ear. "We planned this departure way too early", I quietly mumble to myself as I walk towards Justin's bedroom.

I can hear him in there already awake. I open the door and see a very awake man throwing last minute clothes into his suitcase.

"Ready Momma?" he questions cheerfully.

Knowing I needed to be ready to go quickly, so we can get on the road I sarcastically replied, "Good morning to you too, Honey." Justin laughed as I left his room.

Preparing for this trip to California has been kind of stressful. The planning should pay off and the next week, while Justin is on spring break, should be a super fun time. The drive ahead of us will be long and we plan to stay in a hotel at least one of the nights. I walk into my bathroom and begin to brush my teeth.

As I move my brush to scrub my teeth, I can see my large breasts bouncing beneath the cotton nighty. My nipples are super hard! "Oh my god! Poor Justin just had to see his Mom without a bra and hard nipples," I think to myself. For some reason my heart began to pump a little bit as I went over the possible reactions he may have had.

Remembering that all men most likely love breasts, I can assume that he enjoyed what he saw. That thought makes me uneasy and strangely flushed, but it's better than making my poor Son feel grossed out.

Finished with my morning rituals, I saw at myself in the mirror. I'm covered in only a cotton nighty that is nothing more than an oversized V-neck shirt. I love the way it looks on me. My legs are fully exposed for me to admire and my breast look awesome because the "V" is cut perfectly, exposing just enough of the base of my breasts. For some reason I just love how it looks. The actual seem of the "V" lays in between my breasts on my chest.

"I'm going to wear my new sundress." I tell myself and make my way to the closet. I had decided not to bring I just because of how short it was. I thought it really was just too immature and Justin wouldn't like it. It also exposes a lot of my breasts. The straps cross in the back and come over the shoulder in half-inch thick straps that end in separate cups for each breast. My breasts lay in the cups nicely, but they are so big that they overflow.

Slipping the dress on over my head, with a smile ear to ear, I confidently say to my reflection, "Not too many 45 year old Momma's can pull this off!" Immediately I think of Justin again.

Thinking the situation through carefully, I think he won't mind and will want me to be as happy as possible. I just need to be careful to not let the bottom ride up too high or move in such a way that I become too exposed.

Downstairs I meet up with my tall, strong, handsome driver for this adventure. "Justin..." I trail off as he interrupts me.

"Jesus Momma! When did you get that dress?" he says with a lot of enthusiasm.

Playfully, I turn and give a couple little bounces, responding cheerfully, "I got it the other day, but I thought it might be too much. Do you think it is ok?" I finish. I could feel my breasts bouncing hard as showed off my new dress. I could also feel his eyes burning into me like I hadn't felt before.

Stammering to regain composure Justin say, "Wow! Are you kidding me, too much? I think it looks amazing." With his normal candor he continues, "I am going to have to beat college spring breakers off of you."

"Justin," I reply modestly, "I doubt some college guy is going to want an older lady like me. You really are sweet though, Baby."

Serious as he can be, Justin says, "Momma, there is a huge market for Cougars like you." Gaining his playful, charismatic tone again, he continues, "I don't want you to get any crazy ideas though. You're not leaving my sight, Ma'am. I'll be watching you like a hawk."

Feeling flush again all I can do is laugh as I turn away from him and grab my breakfast shake from the fridge.

"I'll be in the driveway," Justin calls to me as he walks away. "And I already put your suitcase in the car."

Turning to throw the wrapper in the trash I look down and notice much more of my right breast is exposed than should be. I think, "I wonder how long it has been like that," and continue without a second thought. Adjusting my boobs and putting the right one back after it attempted to escape, I notice how much is really exposed. If I barely lift the fabric I can see my areolas. Hopefully I don't do something stupid and expose myself in public, or worse, expose myself to Justin.

As I step off the porch into the driveway a slight breeze travels up my dress, reminding me of the true sheerness of it all, including my panties. My thoughts continue to race as Justin revs the engine in an effort to hurry me, or showoff his sports car. Forgetting about myself I open the door and climb inside as lady like as I can.

"Alright Momma, let's get this trip started." Putting the car in reverse he says, "Can't beat this. On the way to Cali in a fast car, with a beautiful lady." Jokingly he continues, "I guess I have to reign in some of this pride. I don't think moms count as trophies in the passenger seat."

"Come on cheese ball." Smiling I tell him, "You keep giving me cheap lines and I'll have to take the bus to California."

"Alright, alright, alright. No more cheesy lines." Acting overly serious he responds, "No more talking. Head and eyes forward." As we continue out of our neighborhood he slowly turns his head towards me in a game he likes to play.

As I turn to look at him with sarcastic disapproval, he snaps his head back forward and yells at me to have my head an eyes forward.

Our drive continues like this for the next eight hours. It seems like it is going to go forever. We make stops every so often for food and gas and the restroom, but Justin keeps us moving forward. Finally stopping for the night in Cedar Rapids, Utah, I feel like a Jacuzzi and bed are the best things for me right now.

After getting into our room I look to Justin and say, "I'm going to change real quick and head down to the hot tub. Do you want to join me?"

"Sounds good to me, Momma." Smiling he turns toward his suitcase and opens it to find his trunks.

I throw my suit case on the bed that I have claimed as mine and open the zipper loudly. Tossing the top open I begin to rifle through my bag. I can't find the one piece bathing suit that I thought I packed. "Justin, would you be offended if I wore a bikini," I ask my Son for some unknown reason.

Laughing he say, "Momma, this is your vacation too. Be free. Do whatever you want."

"I know. Sorry, I'm being silly." What I don't think he knows is that this bikini came from Hollister and shows quite a bit of his Momma off. I grab the two small pieces and make my way to the bathroom to change.

I can hear him in the room organizing his things. As I emerge from the bathroom with a towel around me he snaps to look at me. I notice he has a look guilt. I'm not too sure what he could feel guilty about, but it's probably not a big deal. "Ready?"

"Yep! Let's go, Momma," he chimes back easing my feelings of his guilty expression.

As we enter into the elevator a younger guy about Justin's age jumps in at the last minute. He keeps taking quick glances at me, mainly my bulging breasts that are being forced up by towel I have tightly around me.

Breaking the silence Justin asks him, "Are you headed to Cali for spring break?"

Stunned he is being talked to, he replies, "Yeah. Um, me and couple other guys."

"That's cool. We're headed that way for a vacation and a decent break too," Justin tells him.

With a new found confidence the young man replies, "Dude, I wouldn't take this Cougar anywhere near spring break. I would stay locked up in the hotel." He finishes as the elevator dings and the doors open. He is also blatantly looking at my cleavage.

"Bro, she's my Mom," Justin says laughing at the boys comment, seemingly un-phased.

Awkwardly I smile and say, "I appreciate the compliment, but we're not inside people."

Shocked, both boys turn and look at me as I casually stroll toward the door for the hot tub. I am overwhelmed with power and I feel flush again. What a rush. I feel ultra-sexy right now! I turn to the boys both standing by the elevator looking at me and call, "Justin, come scan us in." I pull off my towel exposing myself. I feel the heft of my breasts fall into place and the small, thin fabric of the Hollister bikini catch them. Both of my breasts are still moving as I reach down and adjust my waist line, pulling it higher. Still both boys stare at me without even a step forward, so I turn showing my ass to them in the cheeky bottoms and call again, "Justin, come scan us in."

I hear his footsteps nearing as he replies, "I'm sorry. I will never make you wait again."

I can tell the sarcasm in his tone is forced and he is aroused. I can also see the bulge in his shorts telling me the same thing, my poor boy has a hard on for Momma. I am starting to feel more than flush. I think I am aroused. What is going on with me, and why is this turning me on? Quickly sorting my head I realize that this is only getting to me because I haven't had this kind of direct attention in a very long time. I never wear things this revealing. Showing a lot of skin makes any woman feel sexier when it's appreciated by others.

Calming myself I walked through the door being held open by my Son. I move straight to the Jacuzzi and slip right in, not even giving a second to test the water. Unfortunately it is the "safety" kind that has a seat that is just a little too high. I can't even get my shoulders under water without leaning back in an uncomfortable position defeating the purpose of being in the water.

Like me Justin slides in the water quickly, I assume, to hide his bulge. His eyes fixate immediately on my chest. I look down and notice that my breasts are almost floating. A good portion of them is above the water.

"Justin," I say in a motherly tone, "my eyes are up here, Sweetie."

Trying to recover and not seem as though he was looking at my floating buoys he says, "I'm sorry, Momma. I was just noticing that this Jacuzzi is almost worthless. We can't even soak our shoulders."

Agreeing with him and acknowledging that he just wants to move beyond the potential awkwardness I say, "It is pretty silly to have a hot tub that only allows you to soak your feet."

"Yeah. This is kinda lame, Momma. I think I might just go back upstairs and go to bed." Justin rises out of the water pushing himself up on the edge of the tub to sit down.

Feeling bad for the situation I started and understanding he just wants to make an escape I tell him, "Ok Baby. I'll soak for a couple more minutes and be up to take a shower soon."

With sudden energy he jumps up from the edge and moves quickly out the door to the elevator. I can barely see him waiting for the elevator, but for some reason I want to watch him. As the elevator door opens I see him take a small step back and three boys rush passed him to the pool door. It's the boy from earlier, with his friends. I seriously don't want to deal with this right now.

Jumping out of the pool as quick as I can, I rush to try and catch my Son before the elevator door closes. One the boys tries to talk to me, probably because his friend told him an embellished story. Ignoring him I can see Justin holding the elevator door now waiting for me. What a gentleman he is. Trying to squeeze my way through the pool room door I get stuck. It's my boobs!

The door was a little more closed than I thought. I feel ridiculous and I look at Justin who is now laughing and pointing at me. I'm glad I could change the mood. It got a little weird, but now I have to deal with this embarrassment. I guess I can't stay on a pedestal forever.

I hear the boys behind me snickering when Justin asks through his laughter, "Are you okay, Momma?"

Entering the elevator, I push the fifth floor button and the doors close. "Not funny. I'm okay, but that really wasn't funny."

"Yes, it was. The look on your face was priceless. You probably just need to get some sleep," Justin said in a, somehow, reassuring way.

Looking at him, while I stand in front of him in the smallest, sexiest bikini I have ever owned, I realize that this boy, is a man. Not only is he a man, but he had learned how to treat a woman perfectly. He found the exact balance every woman wants in her man. And then I noticed he's a man.

"Justin," I exclaim! He is looking at my butt in the mirrors of the elevator.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," he replied as he turns toward the door smiling. "Head and eyes forward everyone," he sarcastically states.

Feeling warm inside again I tell him with love in my voice, "You're just like any other man."

He opens the door for me and I walk straight into the bathroom. I quickly shower off and grab the blow dryer on my way out of the bathroom. "It's all yours, Baby," I tell him as I walk passed his bed. The way I have the towel wrapped around me is strangling my breasts. I have it way too high. Justin is just sitting on the bed watching TV. "Justin," I snap, "Get in the shower."

"Roger, Ma'am," he replies and bounces off the bed, across the room into the bathroom.

The second I hear the door shut I pull the tucked end of my towel and let it fall to the floor. I feel much better now. I start turn on the blow dryer and watch myself in the mirror as I begin to dry my hair. I am even more pleased with how I look right now than any other time I can remember. Reaching up is having a great effect on my breasts. They are where I want them, but right now I don't even mind where they are normally.

"Ok Momma," a stern voice says from across the room, "it's time to put some clothes on."

I don't know how I didn't hear him step out, but I don't even feel panicked. I casually turn to my bag and grab the first thing I see. Although I feel abnormally comfortable for the situation, I still slip it on as quickly as possible. It's a shirt I stole from Justin a couple months ago during one of our trips and I just never gave it back. It is a black t-shirt with the word Hurley written on the front. It barely covers my lower region, but it's better than staying naked in front of my Son.

"Better?" I turn to Justin in a defiant pose and continue, "I don't know how I didn't hear you come out."

With a devilish smile Justin says, "I'm just going to go to bed. Tonight has been crazy enough for me."

"Well don't let me keep you up grandpa," I respond.