Mel's head was spinning as she closed her mom's door behind her. That kiss was not at all what she had expected it to be. What the fuck was going on here? Not that it had been undesirable; to the contrary it had been far too much so for her comfort.
The guys were gaming on the big screen in the living room. All eyes had turned her way when she emerged from the bedroom, obviously anxious about her state. She smelled wonderful aromas in the kitchen and decided some food would help stabilize her right now. She wandered over and found the leftovers of the guys' breakfast burrito buffet and began scooping fillings into a tortilla then carefully wrapped it and took a bite. It sent calming waves thru her body; 'Good idea,' she thought and she leaned against the counter to finish it before facing her brothers.
She stepped into the living room, once again the center of attention. At least they were all dressed this time, even if only in gym shorts, the ubiquitous uniform of their jock culture.
"I want to talk with you two," she said to the twins, studiously avoiding Chase's hungry stare, "alone." She picked up the bag she'd dropped in the foyer upon entering and walked toward the guest bedroom that was now hers when she visited, then realized she would prefer the increased privacy of the downstairs den that had been her room before and now was claimed by her brothers; she did not want Chase listening in on their conversation. Besides it was a more comfortable and spacious setting and she felt the need to relax a bit.
She heard the twins following her down the narrow stairway as she opened the door, noting how the room had changed since her brothers had moved in; the decor reeked of teen masculinity, with sports heroes and swimsuit models plastered on the walls, the narrow bunk beds tight in one corner, a jumble of sports equipment stowed in another, a large dilapidated couch dominating the central space. She sat herself squarely in the middle of it and dug one of several joints she'd rolled for her mom out of her bag.
She kicked off her sneakers and lit the joint as her younger brothers dropped to the floor in front of her like recalcitrant puppies. She felt a satisfaction that they were so ready to submit to her dominant status in their space, even if it was largely circumstantial; it spoke to the respect she had cultivated in them through a lifetime of being a loving but no-bullshit-taking big sister.
Mel savored the first rush of the high moving through her body, loosening tension and anxiety. This was supposed to be a relaxing vacation weekend and she'd already felt more stressed out in the last hours than she had a few weeks ago at midterms. Renaissance Literature and Calculus had nothing on discovering that your family had decided to stage a full blown revolution of sexual morality.
"Okay guys, I heard Mom's side of things; now what the fuck do you two have to say for yourselves?" So much for the soft intro, but she couldn't grasp how to ease into the conversation.
They stared at her, at eachother, back at her, obviously at a loss of how to proceed themselves.
"Okay, let me jumpstart your memories; Mom told me she sucked your dicks." The smoke from the joint floated lazily in the silence of the space. Mel pictured herself as some hardass gangster in a movie and chuckled secretly. She took another drag and blew the stream of smoke toward her brothers, underscoring the tension of their silence.
"Come on guys, work with me here. How do you feel about this situation? Cause it feels pretty fucking bizarro to me and I'm struggling to make some sense of what happened here."
"Yeah, it's pretty confusing for me too," Jay offered.
"Me too," Ray chimed in. "Lemme have a hit, Mel?"
"Lemme have some answers, Ray." She hesitated a moment, extending the smoldering joint toward her brother like the proverbial carrot. As he reached out she pulled it back slightly, reinforcing her demand. "How was it for you, Ray?"
"Jesus Mel, what do think? It was hot as fuck! It was the hottest thing that ever happened to me, and so fucking weird at the same time, which only made it more intense." Ray reached again for the joint and this time Mel conceded, rewarding him for opening up.
"Jay?" she prompted as their brother took a long drag on the joint.
"Yeah, Mel, same here. Can't say I regret it but it's kinda hard to get over the idea that I should be ashamed. I know it's considered wrong but it really didn't feel wrong when it was happening. Mom wanted it and we wanted it and I guess that just overruled any other consideration." He reached over to take the joint from Ray.
"What about Dad?" she asked, "Did you consider him at all?"
"Not so much in the moment," Jay paused to hit the joint.
"I did but it wasn't enough to stop the momentum," Ray offered, "but it's been the biggest problem for me about the whole thing. I feel kinda guilty about...it's like we all cheated on him and I'm worried about how he'll react."
Jay handed the joint back to Mel and as their fingers touched a current passed between them, a momentary phenomenon but one that was undeniable as their eyes met. She held his gaze as she brought the joint to her lips and pulled on it.
"So what's next?" she asked, ambiguously, her gaze with Jay still fixed.
Ray spoke up, "Well we talked about it and decided to let Mom take the lead when Dad gets home. None of us really wants to hide it from him as tempting as it seems." He reached again for the joint and Mel passed it.
"What's next seems to involve you too now, Mel," Jay prompted, "so what's your position?" Mel thought she detected some subtle innuendo in the question, a lure that could almost be ignored if it weren't for the slight energetic exchange she felt persisting between them.
"Fortunately I have not cheated on anyone," she consciously dismissed the nagging question of that kiss she and Mom had shared; it seemed irrelevant in the face of what had happened between the rest of them. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of this. On one level, I get it; I understand that sexual arousal can inhibit good judgement and I've given in to questionable situations before myself. Passion can be persuasive. But the whole family thing is another level, one of those situations I never imagined as a possibility and now here you all have made it a reality. It's a lot to consider."
