Ally wiped her clammy, shaking hands on her yoga pants and stood outside of her mother's room, staring at the door. She had spent the entire day working out plan after plan, trying to figure out just how to approach her mother.
Ally tried to adjust her pants so that they came up over her not-so-toned stomach. Carrying the twins had changed her body in so many ways. While she was thankful for the incredible gift of two healthy boys, she sometimes missed her more athletic figure. She had never been as petite as her mother, but she had always been active and tried to stay in some sort of shape. After the twins and the divorce, she barely had time to brush her teeth and shower, let alone get a workout in during the day.
An entire 5 minutes had passed as Ally continued to stand outside of the room, occasionally shuffling her feet and chewing on her lower lip in nervous anticipation. She stood there, debating opening the door or going back to her room and grabbing her vibrator to bring inside her mother's bedroom. She had no clue how to take charge of anything in the bedroom. Her marriage had been a testament to her submissive behavior, which her ex pointed out dozens of times.
Ally had always been confident in school. She was smart, motivated, disciplined. She was confident in sports and always excelled at soccer. She never dated until college, and she realized she was clumsy, unsure, and lacking in self-confidence. When she met her now ex-husband, she quickly figured out that he was more experienced, and at the time, he loved that she was vulnerable and innocent. Ally felt comfortable doing as she was told or letting someone else take the lead in the bedroom. Not a single time had she ever been in charge with him. And now? Well, she wasn't sure what the hell she was going to do.
With a final sigh, Ally grabbed the lever and slowly pushed the door open. The room was quiet, and as soon as her parent's bed came into view, Ally's heart began to hammer in her chest. The only light was coming from her mother's nightstand. Gulping, she walked inside and saw her mother sprawled out on the bed. A pair of reading glasses on and deep look of concentration was settled on her face as she read, apparently oblivious to Ally's entrance. Her mother was in her bathrobe, leaning against the headboard, her bare legs extended and crossed at the ankles.
Ally turned and closed the door. When she turned back around, her mother was staring right at her. "Took you long enough, sweetheart."
Ally scrunched her eyebrows together. "I'm sorry. I didn't know we had decided on a time."
Her mother smiled. "We didn't. You just took your time coming in here, didn't you?" Her mother's smile grew as she moved her head down and peered at Ally over her glasses. "I heard you outside of the room, moving around." Ally swallowed, unsure of what to say. Her mother took the book she was reading and placed it on the nightstand. Placing her hands on her legs, her mother stared at her, apparently waiting for Ally to do something.
"Um, yeah. I'm just feeling a bit nervous I guess."
"Nervous about what, dear?"
Ally pushed her hands together, twisting and knotting her fingers as she forced her eyes to stay in contact with her mother's. "About, you know, what you said earlier." When her mother didn't respond, Ally continued. "You said I was in charge tonight."
"Yes, I did. And do you know why I said that, Ally?"
Shaking her head, Ally let out a nervous laugh. "No. I guess I have an idea or two, but I'm not really sure."
"Ally, sweetheart. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't think you could do it. I know this is all new between you and I, so I understand you're nervous." Jerking her head towards the food of the bed, her mother motioned for her. "Sit down, sweetheart."
Ally moved to the foot of the bed and sat down, offering a small smile to her mother. "I am nervous. I've never been with a woman before, and I'm not sure what I'm doing. I don't want to screw up."
"But how else will you learn? Besides that, I don't expect you to be an expert in this. What exactly do you think I meant by "taking charge"?" her mother added with air quotes.
"Well, I assume you mean that I am the one deciding what we do, how we do it. You know, that sort of stuff."
Her mother laughed then, and Ally's cheeks burned. "Oh, baby girl. That's not the case at all. Listen, I want you to tell me what you want. I want you to listen to your body and just let go. That's what I want."
"I'm not quite sure how to do that" Ally said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Everything with a woman is so new to me. I just—"
Her mother held her hand up. "I'm going to stop you right there. I'll say this again, and I don't want to repeat myself. I want you to tell me what feels good. I want you to listen to that beautiful body of yours." Ally shrugged her shoulders, feeling embarrassed. "Baby girl, scoot up here." Ally did as she was told, turning to face her mother, her hip brushing against her mother's stomach. Her mother placed her hand on Ally's cheek and lightly stroked. "I know you've only been with your husband. I'm sure over the years you learned to understand what your body wanted, what gave you the most pleasure. Am I right?"
She was right. Ally had loved certain things in the bedroom more than others, and even through masturbating with her vibrator, she knew where to find pleasure spots. "Yes, mother. You're right."
"I thought so" her mother said with a smile. Now, why don't we just start slow, and you come and lay next to mommy?"
"Sure" Ally said with a smile. She moved to the other side of the bed and, as gracefully as she could, laid on her side, next to her mother. Ally could feel the wetness begin to form just being this close to her, thinking about what was to come. She took her hand and placed it over one of her mother's hands, trailing her fingers absently back and forth.
"That's it, baby girl. Now, think about what you want to do. Tell me exactly what you're thinking."
