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*****
"Aren't we a pathetic trio," my sister said with a laugh, "I mean, my fiancée leaves me four months before our wedding. Your wife," she continued, looking at me, "runs out on you, and Dad," she said, looking at mom, "Dad runs away with a woman half his age."
Mom smiled and raised her glass. "Here's a toast," she said, "to all those who've been dumped on by the one's they love."
I saluted her back. "And here's to the strength of our family. The strength that will help us all get through."
*****
When my sister Brenda had called several weeks earlier and told me she and mom would be coming to the West coast for a trade show, they had initially planned to stay in a hotel.
"Why don't you guys stay with me?" I asked her.
"No, no," Brenda said, "We don't want to impose on you."
Their plans changed, however, when they discovered they couldn't find a hotel room within five miles of the convention center. Brenda called me back a few days later and sheepishly asked if they could, after all, stay with me.
Initially, I'd had mixed feelings about their visit. Sure, it would be nice to see them again, but I wasn't sure how comfortable the three of us would be sharing my tiny one-bedroom apartment for four days.
We were sitting in the living room, mom and I on the sofa, and Brenda, my sister, on the easy chair across from us. I got up to open another bottle of wine. With the rest of the family in New York and me in Seattle, it was hard to get together, and I realized I hadn't seen either of them for almost a year. As they discussed their plans for the next day, I had a chance to study them.
Mom was forty-seven, but looking at her, you'd think she was at least ten years younger. Ever since I could remember, she'd been a fitness freak, always watching what she ate and spending at least two mornings a week at one health club or another. Her waist was trim, and her legs looked firm and well-toned. It was a source of pride with her that she could wear the same clothes she'd worn in college.
She had her blonde hair pulled back behind her head, giving her a formal, sophisticated look. As always, she was dressed stylishly, with a tan skirt and a matching tan jacket over a frilly white blouse. Never a believer in using much makeup, her face still showed no signs of wrinkles.
Brenda was twenty-two. After college, she'd gone back home to help in mom's business. Being five years older than Brenda, I realized a knew little about her. She was thirteen when I'd gone off to college, and we'd never had the mutual the experiences most siblings had. Like mom, her hair was blonde. Brenda was a couple of inches shorter than mom, and maybe a tiny bit heavier. Not overweight, by any means, but perhaps a little wider in the waist and hips. Looking back and forth between mom and Brenda, I smiled to myself, realizing large breasts was one mutually inherited characteristic.
We'd gone out to dinner earlier, and now, relaxing with wine in my apartment, they'd spent the last hour getting me caught up with what was going on with the family back East.
"I really want to apologize again for this dinky apartment," I told them, "but when Sallie and I...split up, she got the house."
"Don't be silly," mom said, "we'll be perfectly comfortable here, and besides, how many apartments have a fireplace?"
"That's there because I think this place was built before central heating was invented," I said with a laugh. In reality, I loved the apartment. Before, living in the suburbs, I'd had a half-hour commute to the city. Now, I could walk to work.
"Do you use it?" Brenda asked.
"The fireplace? Yeah, but it's a chore going out every morning and chopping wood."
"Very funny," mom said.
"O.K. If you want the truth, I buy those fake logs at the grocery store."
"Can we have a fire tonight, Tom?" Brenda asked, "It would be like when we all used to go to that cabin in the mountains with daddy...."
Her voice drifted off and she looked guiltily at mom.
"Brenda," mom said, "don't be silly. It's perfectly alright to make references to your father. I mean, he's still your father, even if he is an asshole." She laughed and took another sip of wine.
"Well, mom," I said, "seems like you've gotten over his departure. I wish I could say the same about Sallie and me."
"It takes time," mom said, her voice now sounding serious, "It'll be a year this week for me, and it took me that long to realize life goes on without him. How long's it been for you? About four months?"
I nodded my head.
"Hey," Brenda interrupted, "if you guys are going to spend all evening feeling sorry for yourselves, I'm leaving. I mean, I'm the one who's fiancée left me at the alter, and you don't see me crying in my wine."
She raised her glass.
"I propose another toast - to the survivors. The survivor's of love lost."
"Here! Here!" mom said, raising her glass in return.
I went to the fireplace.
"The urban pioneer protects his women from the cold of winter," I said as I lit the paper wrapping on a log.
"Could the urban pioneer get us some more wine?" mom asked with a laugh.
As I uncorked another bottle of wine, Brenda stood and turned off the overhead light. The room was thrust into darkness, save for the flickering glow of the supermarket log.
"A fire glowing in the fireplace," she said, "How romantic."
"Hah! Romance. Who needs it," mom exclaimed.
"We all do," Brenda answered.
"Not when you're my age."
"Come on mom," I said as I refilled everyone's glass, "you're still young and attractive, and you've always been the hopeless romantic of the family."
"Me? Never."
"How about when you and dad used to drag me along to that awful restaurant that was like a big barn and you guys would dance and dance, and I'd fall asleep at the table and you'd have to carry me home, sound asleep."
"I'm surprised you remember that," mom said, " that was a lifetime ago."
"And sometimes," I continued, "dad would pull me up from my chair and make me dance with you. I would protest and when I was on the dance floor with all the grownups, I was always a little embarrassed."
"You were probably only thirteen or fourteen then," mom said.
I looked at her face, glowing in the flickering light from the fireplace. I thought I saw a little tear form in the corner of her eye. With the back of my finger, I wiped it away and kissed her lightly on the cheek.
"Hey, there's a rule here on the West coast," I said, "no melancholy feelings allowed. Only happy feelings."
Mom smiled and returned my kiss.
"You're right," she said, "I'm ready to feel happy now."
"Music!" Brenda called out as she took another gulp of wine, "We need some music to get you two out of this maudlin mood."
I stood and flipped through the CD's on the bookshelf, barely able to make the titles out in the faint light coming from the fireplace. Slow ballads from the forties and fifties, that would fit the mood tonight, I thought to myself as I slipped the CD into the player.
As the soft music filled the room, I stood in front of mom and put my hand out.
"Would you care to dance with me, madam?"
"I think I can fit you on my dance card," mom answered with a smile.
She placed her hand in mine and stood. I took her right hand in my left and placed my other hand lightly on her waist and we began to slowly sway to the music.
"You two make a great couple," Brenda said, "I'm jealous. I wish I had someone to dance with."
"There's only one of me to go around," I said with a chuckle, "but I promise I'll fit you in somehow."
"There's only one fair solution," Brenda said, "How about we take turns?"
"Sounds good to me," I replied.
We were in front of the fireplace now, and mom's face was illuminated by the soft light. Her eyes were closed, and she let out a short, almost imperceptible sigh as I led her slowly around the room. The song came to an end and mom opened her eyes and looked up at me.
"Thanks, Tom," she said softly, "That was nice."
"Hey," Brenda interrupted, "now my turn for a dance, big boy."